Disclaimer: I don't own Les Mis cause if I did I would be rich and Victor Hugo would not be in existence.

Chapter 2

Previously in Les Mis meets Disney...

Now all this time when the priest was singing Our friend Jean ValJean was staring at him strangely. 'Why is he singing? It's kinda scary...' He thought to himself before taking the three weird rabbits and running back towards the pool. When he got there he threw the three ugly rabbits into it only to have them swallowed by Ariel, the mermaid.


"Oh. I guess that takes care of that." Jean ValJean patted himself on the back and smiled to himself. He whipped out his easy button from Stáples. He pressed it and listened to the deep, male voice tell him, " That was easy!"He chuckled and decided to go swimming a little.

"After all, I worked hard today!" He told himself as he changed into his Speedo, which was not a pretty sight, behind some trees. As he was about to dive headfirst, Fantine stepped out from behind a misplaced door and yells, "Hey Sexy, lady. It was nice to know ya, but I gotta move onnnnnn-nnn-nnn."

Then she made the call-me sign and ran away. He smiled in a kinda sexy way and dived. There, he opened his eyes to see Ariel sitting with a fish and a crab. He licked his lips and thought about the last time he had seafood. 'Oh, baby baby...' Ariel waved and beckoned him over. As he sat, her eyes locked with his in a passionately passionate gaze. This said gaze was stopped with bongos drumming in their ears. Sebastian, the crab, was ready to play.

Ariel looked away and was about to ask him how he was doing, when he asked her, " How were the bunnies?" Her heart swelled with guilt as she started to cry, but no one could tell. She was already immersed in water.

"What have I done? Sweet Neptune, what have I done? Become a thief in the night, Become a carnivore on the swim, And have I fallen so far, And is the hour so late That nothing remains but the cry of my hate, The cries in the ocean that nobody hears, Here where I swim at the turning of the years?" It seemed as though she would launch into another dreadfully boring verse when Sebastian cued his band, consisting of background singers, the clams and the pearls, and the rest of the undersea life.

"Under da sea! Under da sea! Darling, it's better down where it's wetter , take it from me." Sebastian sang randomly. The clams and the Pearls followed in with a "Take it from me!"

"Shut up crabby, and stay out of my montage!" She growled and turned back to the now scared audience. "Where was I?" She said in a sickingly sweet voice, "Oh yes."

She cleared her throat and sang, badly I might add, "If there's another way to go
I missed it two long years ago
My life was a feast that could never be won
They gave me a knife and I murdered the bunnies, when they chained me and left me for dead
Just for killing a mouthful of bunnies. Why did I allow that man," She pointed to Valjean,

"To touch my soul and teach me love? He treated me like any other, He gave me his trust,He called me sister, My life he claims for Neptune above. Can such things be? For I had come to hate the ocean. This ocean that always hated me."

"Kiss de Girl! Sha-la-la-la-la-la My oh My, looks the boy's too shy, ain't gunna kiss da girl! Sha-la-la-la-la-la Ain't that sad, it's such a shame, too bad. He's gunna miss de girl." Sebastian and his crew start again.

"I am not SHY!" Valjean threw his arms up and kissed Ariel, "There! I blame peer-pressure!"

Ariel stared at him, " I never knew you feel this way."

"I don't. Your crab is just annoying." ValJean shrugged as Ariel went into a jealous rage.

"You stupid, idiotic, crab!" She threw him at a passing shark that swallowed him whole before swimming away.

Meanwhile, on land... Fantine had watched the whole thing in a mixture of jealousy and obsession. "He's mine, you stupid fish!" She threw off her clothes to reveal the Coach swimsuit that she always wore under her rags. "Just incase!" She told everyone who asked her. ANYWAY, Fantine dove into the water and sang to the crazy fish, we call Ariel.

"Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!" She pointed at poor, confused Valjean as she sang to Ariel.

Ariel responded to this verse by taking a deep breath and, "Sing off! Sing off!" Flounder cut her off and was forced to watch her give a death glare to him. Then she started to sing, with the voice of a mixture of crying babies, dying hyenas, and choking walruses.

"One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife. Oh! Beat that!! Fo sizzle, my nizzle!" She threw her hoodie on and started to make weird hand signals while bouncing up and down.

"My turn! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! He told me that I have a soul, How does he know? What spirit comes to move my life? Is there another way to go? Fo shizzle my nizzle! Yo dawg in the hizzhouze! Yo! Yo! Yo! Diggy Diggy dawg! WORD! I'm outta here yall, Peace!" Fantine sang/rapped. She suddenly got a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up, along with gigantic bling that said Gangsta, and another one that was a dollar sign. She had gigantic grillz in her mouth that reflected light so her whole gangsta face was glowing.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" My eyes!!" Jean Valjean shrieked. His eyes burned because of the glowing reflections of Fantine's grillz and 40 karat bling.

Ariel took out large hoop earrings, put on black eyeliner and lip liner. Then she attached high eyebrows and pasted her hair back. "I am reaching, but I fall and the night is closing in, As I stare into the void, to the whirlpool of my sin, I'll escape now from the sea, From the sea of crazy fish, Ariel Valjean is nothing now, Another story must begin!" She bowed and waited for applause. There was none, except the sound of clams chirping.

"When did we get married again?" Jean asked her.

"Oh, you silly goose! When I drugged you!" She smiled.

"What!? You didn't tell me that!" Fantine yelled at Jean.

"I didn't know! Gosh, darn it!" He defended himself.

"Sure you didn't!!" She roared, which was hard to do since she was underwater. She then heaved the Titanic which she miraculously found in that exact spot, and threw it at him. It hit him with a satisfying crunching noise.

"And that is how you deal with men!" she explained to Ariel, who was taking notes.

"Interesting..." Ariel said with a confused look on her face.


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