Two

Psyche

I begged my father to go to the Oracle. Something was wrong with me, I knew it. Men came to admire, and they left like a passing breeze.

"Papa, please, for me," I said, tears in my eyes.

He looked at me warily, but agreed.

"You shall not go with me, however. The journey is too dangerous and I do not want to risk anything. Stay here with your sisters and I will tell you everything once I return."

I was content with that, so I helped him pack the things he would need for travel as quickly as I could. I figured that the sooner he left, the sooner he'd return to tell me my fate.

The Oracle was never wrong. As I watched him leave, I grew excited to hear what he would say when he came back.

"Psyche?" A voice from behind me said.

I turned around to see my sisters, Eos and Miracle standing.

"Where is Papa going?" Miracle asked.

"To the Oracle of Delphi," I stated.

"Why?"

I sighed.

"I am so dreadfully lonely. There must be something wrong with me, or something I'm not doing! I asked Papa to ask the Oracle what to do, and he went."

"Oh, Psyche, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. These men who keep leaving are just too intimidated, you know that," Eos said.

"Yes, but it seems that a man who is not intimidated does not live around here. Perhaps the Oracle will tell Papa where I must go to find him."

"Or perhaps he doesn't exist at all," Miracle said quietly.

"Hold your tongue!" Eos scolded her. "We must be optimistic and happy for Psyche. We will soon find out what we all have been yearning to know."

I smiled at her.

"But..." she said softly.

"But...?" I inquired.

"You know, Psyche, you may not be given the answer you seek. It is a possibility that what you want cannot happen. You know that right?"

"Weren't you just saying to be optimistic?!" I was dismayed, and almost panicky.

I trusted my eldest sister explicitly, she was filled with constant wisdom. Knowing she might be right about something I dread most was terrifying.

"Yes, but optimism is not limitless. Rather, it shouldn't be. You can be optimistic, and logical at the same time-"

"Are you saying it's illogical that I ever find someone?" I was definitely panicking now.

"Psyche, Psyche, calm yourself. There are only two outcomes here. One, the Oracle will tell you what you want to hear, or she will tell you the opposite. Now that means there is an equal chance that one or the other might happen, and I do not wish to fill you with false hope!"

I sat down on a chair in one of our sitting rooms, trying to compose myself. I really felt as though I was losing my mind.

"Perhaps a walk in the garden will calm your worries?" Miracle suggested it warmly, but I felt none of it.

Nevertheless, I agreed. After all, it couldn't panick me any further. I followed them into the garden, stopping to admire my favorite flowers. I was always drawn to the yellow ones, or anything that was yellow, really.

The walk actually did help me to relax, and I sat in the grass to look at the sky. I breathed in the fresh air and laid back, letting my hair lay freely around my head. I closed my eyes and prayed for my father's speedy return.

Eros

I knew it was wrong to spy on someone, but I almost couldn't help myself. She was so beautiful. Her curls were wild, and I wanted to adorn them with flowers. She looked so carefree and happy that I could not bring myself to her attention.

I had come to her home with the intention of introducing myself to her, appearing as a mortal man and perhaps to confess my love. But the voice inside me repeated what I knew to be true, I could never reveal myself to her. She could not know who I was.

My mother Aphrodite does not yet know that I haven't cursed the poor girl. I couldn't do it. But I had a plan. I have been trying to think of ways to put it into action for days now. I would somehow need to lure her to me, but also convince my mother that she was being lured to the beast she was to fall in love with. Then, I would whisk her away and love her for the rest of time.

But that plan had too many problems. One, I could not easily lure her to me and trick my mother at the same time. My mother needed to believe this girl was going to a beast, and the girl needed to know that she was going to her love.

Another problem was that I knew I would have a difficult time not revealing myself to her. How could I love her so completely if she could not love me back? How could I live like that, how could I force her to live like that? It would be a lonely life, never able to see her partner, and only to feel him at night...I could almost not bear the thought.

And yet, my mother could never know of my being in love with her. She would never forgive me. But the pull of this girl was far too strong. She made me wish to abandon all reason and logic just to make her happy.

It pained me to see her so lonely. I could not bear to see her unhappy. This girl was tugging at me, pulling me in directions I knew I should not go but I am helpless to resist. And she doesn't even know it. While I don't even know her name.

Could I condemn her to this? Or would it be easier to convince my mother to forgive? How could I make this choice? My heart was telling me to love her as fully as possible, and my head was telling me it was a bad idea, that I should not disobey my mother.

Where is the line drawn? Can I be faulted for disobeying my mother when her task for me is something so cruelly vindictive that I cannot bear it? I have always been told it is wrong to disobey your authorities, and yet I have also been taught to love. I am the god of love, that is what I know best.

I do not know hate, or cruelty like my mother. I know sensuous passion and undying affection. My mother knows beauty and lust.

While I was wallowing in my self pity, I almost missed her name. Like a whisper on the wind it was uttered by one of her sisters, delicate as a bird's feather. Psyche. Her name was Psyche.

I laid back in the grass, giddy like a small boy. I could repeat her name in my head and in my heart for hours on end. Psyche.

My heart ached with longing, and it wasn't until this moment I realized the danger she could be thrown into by my own selfishness. It was unfair. It was uncontrollable. And she was so lonely that she would not even bat an eye. She would be too blinded by sorrow to realize that she was being conned, tricked by someone who could not give her what she deserves.

In my head a plan had formulated against my will, to lead her to the mountain where I would pretend to be a horrible beast and whisk her away to a paradise. I wished I could stop those thoughts, but they were intrusive.

The more I thought of it, even against myself, the more I was determined to follow through with it. It was despicable, yes. But I could not help myself. My arrows were truly a force to be reckoned with.

As the plan solidified in my head, I knew that there was no turning back. I watched on in despair as she delightedly expressed excitement for her father's return, which would surely tell her to follow through with the sick plan I created for her.

The Oracle knows all. The Oracle knows I would attempt to bring her to me, and the Oracle would make it easier for me by telling poor Psyche exactly where to go.

It was only a matter of time. I felt sick to my stomach.

Author's Note:

Well...I don't know what to say. It's been an insanely long amount of time since I wrote the first chapter. Pretty sure it's been almost exactly a year. 365 days for me to try and get my shit together but believe me it is NOT easy for me. Anyway, I hope you can forgive me for taking so long to update, and I hope this chapter makes up for it. I know it's short, but I will try to be updating much more frequently. It's one am here, and I haven't logged into since last year, but an email I got reminded me of this story and I was filled with guilt. Please review, and be honest, I can take it.

Love, Em. 3