Flatbush Brooklyn, New York
The early morning sun gave light to the city streets. The early breeze rustled the trees along the sidewalks. Dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans, a short man let his arm out of the window as he drove down the street. Spring air flowing through his hair as he surveyed the area. He had just acquired the basement floor of an apartment from the bank. It would be the start of his new empire. If he could find it first. Soon enough, he did. 3891, Miyamoto Avenue.
"Well, here it is. Mario Brothers plumbing." He looked out the window of his U-Haul Truck at a dusty old apartment.
Crushing leaves, cigarettes, and newspapers under his feet, he got out his key and opened the door. "Let's see what's inside."
The inside was crawling with animals, both living and dead. The ones able-bodied instantly retreated from the morning sun's rays back into the many nooks, crannies, and holes of the apartment, while the corpses of the rest, completely slathered in ants, finally showed the light their grim stepped back, the smell absolutely overwhelming him. He spat out on the sidewalk.
"Momma Mia that's nasty! To think I paid for that!"
Coughing and spitting all over the street, he walked over to a payphone. Putting in his quarters and dialing the number, he waited as the phone rang, praying his brother wasn't asleep.
"C'mon... pick up... pick up..."
"Hello?" A groggy voice came from across the phone.
"Luigi, it's me. I'm at the place."
"M-m-Mario? You're where?"
"I'm at the apartment man, get with the program."
"Bro its 6:10 in the morning, the city is just putting on its morning cup of coffee and making the kids pancakes!"
"I wanted to get a head start. It turns out we're going to need it. This place is an absolute dump."
"I thought the ad said it was fit for use."
"Well other than the bio-hazard that's inside, it's perfectly fit for use!"
"You don't have to be sarcastic, Mom and Pop are still asleep."
"Well, then you better be quite getting all the stuff we need out of the house."
"What are we gonna need? A mop and a few scrubbing pads?"
"Anything that deals with cleaning and sanitation." He gave the place another glance. "Scratch that. EVERYTHING that deals with cleaning and sanitation."
"Are you serious? How long is it gonna take?"
"Well it's not too big a place, but to clean it all up and place all our stuff between the two of us... 10 hours?!"
"What about the Knicks game at 2:30?! 10 hours are you serious?"
"Yeah, guess that means you better drag your butt over here then, huh?"
"Can't we just hire a cleaning service?" Luigi protested.
"With what money? Mom's just going to say that we need to take care of ourselves, and Dad will say that we are better off just working for him..."
"You know, working for Dad wouldn't mean we have to do all this."
"Alright Luigi, you can go work for Dad in the kitchen, I even have a pizza in mind that you can do: 'The No Future Special!' The first ingredient is to take a college application, shred that up, and use it as the cheese. Then you take your tears, that's going to be the delicious sauce. Yum yum yum. so salty, so salty. The dough will be your hopes and dreams that we pound and throw around until It's flattened for good. Now, bake it in the oven of shame, lost hopes and broken dreams you call a heart for 35 years. Take it out, makes sure it's nice and flat like your income, then shove it sideways up your candy a-"
"I get the point!" Luigi harshly responded.
"If you freeze it and save leftovers, you can give it to your own son, Weegee Jr!" Mario added.
"Okay, I'm coming! I'll be there in about an hour." Luigi let out a groan, accepting his fate.
"Good. And since you are being such a good sport, I'll let you pick the air freshener, lemon or pine?"
Mario leaned against the wall, waiting for his brother to come. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted 3 familiar figures.
"Oh boy here we go," Mario muttered under his breath as they approached.
"Mari-o!" The one in front said, flicking away his stogie. "What are you doing up so early in the morning?" His egg head starting to shine in the sun.
"Vito! My man. I was just waiting for Luigi so we can start setting up our place. Headstart is the best start you know?"
"Truth in that. So what's it like on the inside?" Vito took a step forward to inspect.
Mario grabbed his arm. "Woah buddy, trust me, you want to stay in the safe zone. Its a mess now, but give it time, and it'll be the best plumbing company around."
"Plumbing company eh?" Vito pondered it for a second. "Ain't you breaking off the family tradition of being a chef like your old man?"
"Trying to. I can always crawl back to him if the plumbing thing goes under."
"You know, you could use some protection when-"
"Save it Vito. I'm not interested." Mario said, leaning back on the telephone pole.
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way Mario," Vito said. "But you know, it would be a damn shame if something were to happen here, you know."
Mario chuckled. "Really Vito? Are you trying to run roughshod over me? I thought our families were on friendlier terms than that. Let's not forget that your dad stayed at the pizza parlor for a month when things got dicey a while back. I could have sworn your father said our family was off limits forever."
He paced around. "Speaking of your father, he would be very disappointed if I told him about your special friends, wouldn't he? I'm not talking about the boys behind you. But you know who I mean."
Vito took a step back stunned. Then he started growling. "I thought you were better than that Mario."
"Hey I don't make the rules. I just play the game." Mario raised his hands. "I won't say anything if you just back off. You were the one who came over here trying to push on me. Why don't we all just stay cool here?"
Luigi pulled up from down the street. "Hey Mario!" He honked his horn. "Over here!"
Perfect timing. Mario thought, waving Luigi over. "Luigi! Come here! You still got those Knicks tickets?"
"I keep them in my pocket, so I always know where they are." His brother responded with pride.
"Mind if I see them? I just wanna make sure they aren't damaged."
"Okay. Sure." Luigi politely handed them over.
Mario took them and turned right back to Vito. "If you help me get this place set up, free tickets to the Knicks game. Courtside."
Vito raised an eyebrow. "How the hell did you two saps get courtside tickets to the Knicks in the playoffs?"
"Luigi won a radio contest. Don't ask what it was about." Mario waved the tickets in front of Vito's face. "So, we got a deal?"
Vito snatched the tickets out of Mario's hand. "Deal."
Mario turned back to a stunned Luigi. "You can yell at me later. Right now. Get some rubber gloves and a broom. It is not pretty in there."
Mario sat on his couch, watching the Knicks game. "Not courtside, but I'll take it."
"I outta smack ya in the head with this ladle!" Luigi shouted from the kitchen. "Who said you could go around and give out the tickets that I won?!"
"First of all, it got Vito and his boys off of our back for now. Second of all, they did good work. We got the place cleaned out, put in all of our equipment, moved the furniture, and installed cable and plumbing in here. All in 6 hours. We'd still be working if it wasn't for them. A basketball game isn't our top priority right now. We gotta get off to a good start."
Mario heard Luigi grumble behind him. "I hate it when you're right."
"You can thank me by getting me another bowl of spaghetti," Mario said. "Besides, you can always win another radio contest. How did you know Madonna's 15 most popular hits in order?"
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," Mario said. Walking over, he recognized the figure outside. A big grin emerged on his face as he opened the door. "Pauline! Sweetheart! Come on in!"
A young woman wearing a red shirt and jeans came in, holding a white box. "Hey, Mario. Good to see you too." She waved at his brother. "Hi Luigi!"
Pauline looked around the apartment. "Wow, the place looks great! Glad you got everything set up in a day. That must of took some work."
Mario waved it off. "Oh, it wasn't too much work."
"My Knicks tickets can sure validate that!" Luigi snapped.
"That's because I'm a man of good business! I know how to get things done." He leaned on the counter. "So, what can I do ya for Ms. Pauline Ladee?"
She set the box down. "I bought this cake as a housewarming gift. It's chocolate!"
"My favorite!" Mario opened the box, a big grin coming to his face as he looked inside. "Pauling it's huge! Thank you so much. Luigi, get the knife and paper plates. This is gonna be awesome."
"Actually, I gotta go. My shift at the diner starts in a few minutes. Just came to say hi." She gave Mario a kiss on the cheek and walked back out.
"How come you got a girlfriend after graduation and I didn't?" Luigi asked bitterly, cutting out a slice of cake.
"If you try actually talking to them, you could get one," Mario responded. He raised his fork. "A toast. To our new lives as plumbers?"
"To our new lives as plumbers. However long this lasts." Luigi said back.
"I'll take it."
TINK!
"Stop fucking around and be a man. There ain't nothing out here for you."
"Oh yes, there is... this."
Beginning of Illmatic Arc
