Yay, I'm back! I'll try to squeeze in all the important Greek gods, but no promises since I change ideas like people change underwear. Aside from the bad image, I'll at least try to bring in the major gods and goddesses and bring in that little trouble maker Cupid. I've decided to call him Cupid to make it a lot easier.
Warnings: A lot of love *cough* lust *cough* is in the air, because they are the Greek gods.
Disclaimer: I don't own the myths or Hetalia.
...
"Ugh! You're so annoying!" Aphrodite groaned.
"What did I do?" America asked loudly. Aphrodite face palmed, and speed walked away from him. This had to be her punishment for all the affairs she had on Hephaestus, it had to be. "Dude, I wasn't finished talking about how awesome football is and how stupid it is that everyone else thinks it's soccer!" America stalked after her. That thing proves that looks are so overrated, and this is coming from the goddess of beauty and love herself! Besides, it was too early to deal with America with it being 6:00 AM.
"-And that's why I said my sport should be called football and not theirs because-" Aphrodite interrupted America by yelling,
"Would you shut up!"
"But I was just telling you about my country!" America exclaimed shocked that she would even say that. She had been so nice to him during their love making, but as soon as he started talking about how great America is, she wanted him to be quiet. Well, maybe she wanted to talk about weapons!
"I should get Hephaestus to make an off button," she muttered walking to her husband's shop.
She finally arrived to Hephaestus shop and cried to him, "I won't ever cheat on you again, but can you please get rid of him!" Hephaestus looked at the American and laughed.
"It's not funny!" Aphrodite yelled.
"Oh I think it is," he laughed.
"She got mad that I was like talking about football and soccer all the great American actors!" America exclaimed.
"I think Aphrodite would love to hear more," Hephaestus said amused.
"But-" "Awesome!" America interrupted her.
"I, however, have to work on a new gun requested by the Americans," Hephaestus said.
"Dude, I'm America!" America yelled.
"You're the guy that makes all the guns?" America asked.
"Yes, at the request of my wife Aphrodite," he answered turning the American's attention back to his wife.
"I'm sure she would love to converse with you about guns," Hephaestus told him smirking not even trying to hide his amusement.
"That's what I thought!" America cheered and rambled on to Aphrodite's horror.
"That will teach her," Hephaestus muttered and went back to making the guns. No matter what anyone thought, America was the answer to his prayers. He would keep his wife from cheating for at least three centuries.
...
For breakfast and lunch they ate quite light as a feast was promised for dinner. For breakfast they had: yogurt, fruit, bread, cereal, milk and juice. For lunch they had varieties of pitas and kebobs, along with wine. America complained on both occasions about the food being "inferior to burgers", which resulted in Zeus threatening to electrocute him. That kept America quiet for the duration of both meals.
Later on they had a meeting and the nations ended up talking about trade. "I wouldn't mind having some of your maple syrup Canada," Greece admitted which shocked Canada. "Pancakes and syrup are the only things we don't have here," Greece said. "You also don't have hamburgers," America added. "Or scones," England yelled. "I'm sure we can manage," Zeus dryly said. "Why I have never heard such offensive things, and I-" Zeus took out his thunder bolt successfully shutting England up. "Now back to you Greece," Zeus said. Greece cleared his throat and discussed maple syrup and various things from other nations.
...
The nations decided to hang around the nymphs and goddesses by the hot springs. France was naked and in the springs, while the rest decided to keep on their clothes for modesty and stayed outside the water. "Oh come on, I do not look like Captain America!" America laughed. "It's true you do!" One of the lesser goddesses said. "What do I look like?" France asked. "You look like," the lesser goddess paused. "Like a handsome, charming, french guy from one of those romance movies!" a blond nymph finished for her. "I get that all the time," France chuckled. England rolled his eyes and muttered, "you remind me of a frog." He honestly doesn't get why he likes France, but that's who his heart constantly beats for.
"You remind me of a... British pirate," a brunette nymph pointed at England. "Of course," England rolled his eyes. "You remind me of a... samurai," the same brunette nymph pointed to Japan. He shrugged, he got that all the time after all. "You remind me of a cat," the nymphs and goddesses laughed. "Really, I've always wanted to be a cat," Greece smiled. "You remind me of..." the brunette nymph hesitated. Canada sighed, he didn't really have his own identity. Even Mexico had something unique about her, not that she matters at this point. "Well he sounds like a pancake," the blond nymph said. "That was totally blond, what you just said!" a black haired nymph said. "I'm serious!" the blond nymph defended. "When I hear him talk and look at him, I picture him eating pancakes glazed in syrup!" the blond explained. "I always think of that huge waterfall, what was it called?" another blonde nymph asked. "Niagara Falls," a lesser goddess answered. "Yeah that one!" the blond nymph said. Canada smiled; it was true he and America shared Niagara Falls, but most people think of Canada when they think of Niagara Falls.
...
It was time for dinner and gaping was all the nations could do. The table was huge! Japan estimated the table to be at least 200 feet long. At the table sat: Zeus, and Hera next to each other. Next to Zeus was Athena who sat next to Hephaestus, who had Aphrodite clinging on to him for dear life. Next to her was Cupid who sat next to Artemis. Apollo sat next to Artemis, and England sat in between Apollo and Dionysus. France sat in between Dionysus and Hermes. Poseidon, along side his wife Amphitrite, sat next to Hermes. Next to Amphitrite was Hestia, who sat next to Demeter. Persephone sat between her mother and Hades, who sat next to Ares. Canada sat next to Ares and Alfred, who sat next to Greece and Japan. His bear Kuma sat in his lap for a while, but eventually crawled into Persephone's. Other gods and goddesses were mixed among them, but Canada could not remember who they were for the life of him.
The table had plates, forks, spoons, knives and bowls. The bowls were filled with vegetable soup with steam rising from it. "Careful, it's hot," a female servant told Canada. 'Why does everyone think I'm so fucking delicate?' Canada thought. He realized he should have taken heed when the soup practically burned his tongue.
The meats on the table were: lamb, turkey, ham, other parts of the pig, chicken, and beef. Despite this Alfred cried due to their not being any hamburgers, but cheered when he saw barbecue ribs and chicken. The cheeses on platters, alongside the bread were: american, cheddar, provolone, mozzarella, parmesan, and swiss; only France could name the rest. Fruits and vegetables were on separate platters and had various assortments of each. The food was well seasoned and definitely a luxury you could only find on Olympus. Despite this Canada couldn't eat much. As if America wolfing down the food wasn't enough to ruin his appetite, Ares kept whispering words of lust in his ear. To make matters worse, if he tried to move Ares would grip his arm, almost breaking it, and give a warning growl. Kuma was absolutely no help, as he was still in Persephone's lap. He decided that desperate needs, called for desperate measures.
"Alfred," he begged. America piped up and noticed what Ares was doing.
"Let go of my brother!" America shouted, getting everyone's attention.
"Ares!" Zeus roared glaring at the war god. He let go of Canada's arm and his glare burned into his head during the coarse of the feast. Canada ended up switching seats with England, who was annoyed that Apollo and Dionysus kept flirting with him. France was too busy leering at all the gods and goddesses to even care that Apollo and Dionysus were flirting with his boyfriend. Japan and Greece were just eating and enjoying the conversation.
...
"Thanks for walking me to my room America," Canada whispered. "No problem bro, but are you sure you don't want me to stay?" America offered. "I have a feeling that Ares guy won't give up anytime soon," America reasoned. "Why would he need you, he has me?" Kuma glared at America. "Do you even know who he is?" America asked pointing to Canada. "Yes I do!" Kuma yelled. "It's coming to me... Don't tell me, don't tell me... Maple!" Kuma answered. "Close enough," Canada sighed.
"Well there's also the fact you left him for Hades wife," America glared at the bear. "She was really nice!" Kuma defended weakly. "Besides Maple doesn't mind, right?" the bear looked to Canada.
"I don't care as long as you to stop arguing," Canada sighed, then turned to America. "And Alfred, just stay for tonight, I'm sure he'll stop afterwards," Canada said. "Damn right he will," Kuma said. America rolled his eyes and stripped his shirt and underwear. "Alright, goodnight Mattie!" Alfred said slipping under the covers. "Night Alfred," Canada whispered stripping to his shirt and shorts.
"Night Maple, night fat ass," Kuma said.
...
Canada took to hanging around Alfred for the first few days on Olympus. Ares had gotten over him for the most part, though he still glared at Canada from time to time. He guessed it was a bruise to Ares's pride that he 'rejected' him, but else did he expect? The guy was scary, and his stories did him absolutely no justice. Despite Ares, Canada was having a great time so far. The gods and goddesses recognized the difference between America and Canada; "You two don't even look that much alike," they told them. The nymphs and servants always put on a play, and oh the gladiator fights were excellent. 'Now if only they had hockey,' Canada thought as he held Kumajiro.
"Guys, Hera's yelling at Zeus again!" Hermes called with a big smile. "This early in the morning?" Artemis asked annoyed. "It's 10:00," Apollo replied. "I work all night Apollo," Artemis glared. Suddenly everyone present, except England, Canada, Greece, and Japan, became a track star.
"Greece-" Japan stopped mid sentence when he noticed Greece on the floor sleeping. England kicked him and Greece jumped up.
"Aren't you going to stop Zeus and Hera?" England asked.
"Nah, I just let them work it out on their own," Greece waved off. He yawned and stretched, then he went to watch the argument. Japan glanced at England and Canada, then followed Greece. Canada didn't want to leave England by his lonesome, but he also didn't want an awkward conversation. Against his better judgement he decided to stay.
"Come on America, let's watch the argument," England sighed. "I'm Canada," he muttered. "Oh," England looked at him awkwardly. "Sorry about that, but you two do look a like," England apologized and left.
Canada left the hallways and went to the restroom to look in the mirror. He looked at his violet eyes, so different from America's blue ones. He also took a look at his hair, shorter than France's but longer than America's. They were the same height, though Canada was much skinnier, with Alfred having gained some bulk. Alfred also had a nantucket, while Canada had a weird curl that wouldn't lay down. Despite the differences one could tell they were brothers. Though how they mistook him for America, he will never know.
...
Kuma had been drinking way too much at lunch. He challenged Ares to a fight in which the god of war laughed, at least until the little bear threw wine on him. "No, stop, don't," America muttered. "You fucking lard ass, you better help me!" Kuma yelled. America simply sipped his wine, to which Japan asked, "Isn't the legal drinking age in America 21?" "We're not in America," Alfred replied. Japan shrugged and watched the altercation. Canada eventually took his bear and Zeus had to stop Ares.
"You sure are an interesting bear," Athena commented.
"He's exactly like Ted only he sucks, and can't tell a joke for shit," America told her.
"And you're the fucking asshole of the world, people only pretend to like you," Kuma retorted.
"That's not true," France said. "Lithuania, Belarus, Finland, and maybe a few other people kind of like America," France said.
"Unlike you 'Ted's rip off,'" America argued.
"At least I'm not a fat piece of shit," Kuma said.
America lifted up his shirt to reveal a six pack, "I highly doubt this is fat," America said. The goddesses, and even some of he gods, marveled at his physique. Well except for Aphrodite who didn't even want to look at him.
"Okay that's enough!" Canada yelled. "Why are there two America's?" England questioned. "That's Canada," France told him. "Oh," England said embarrassed. Lunch managed to go smoothly after that.
...
"I would've totally kicked that guy's ass, right Maple?" Kumajiro asked Canada. America, Kumajiro, and Canada went back to Canada's room, while the other nations went to the arena. The arena showed villain vs villain, and America didn't want to see either of them win. "Oh sure you would have," America said sarcastically. "We've only been here for a few days guys," Canada sighed. "We're only going to be here for 2 more months then you can go your merry ways, can you at least try to get along for the time being?" Canada asked. "Fine!" they both said crossing their arms and pouting. 'For them to hate each other, they both act the same.' Canada thought. The silence that followed was amazing. They all laid on Canada's bed and looked at the ceiling. It was serenity at its best, it was pure, it was great, it was-
"It's so boring!" America complained. Well that was a great way to spend 2 minutes. "Just when I was getting comfortable fat ass!" Kuma yelled at America. Canada groaned, 'It was good while it lasted.'
...
I tried to give Cupid a speaking role for this chapter, but I just couldn't quite fit him in. Hopefully, he'll have a speaking role in the next chapter. Also, I was originally going to have America and Kumajiro like the main characters of TED, however, I figured it would be funnier if they hated each other. I'll go deeper into Kuma and America's relationship and give reasons for them hating each other.
Now that that's said, read and review!
