"In freedom, most people find sin."- John Green, The Fault In Our Stars.


The first morning of your new-found freedom.

It's quite liberating, to be honest.

After your eyes open, it takes a few minutes to settle. First comes the crashing of events upon your soul, from all the memories to the ripping apart from yesterday; next comes the tragic, overwhelming loneliness; and now, finally, you feel as if you are lighter and more free, like there was a chain binding your two souls together and it has been cut.

You can breathe now.


At breakfast, you try not to look too excited.

Lysander avoids your eyes completely at the table, ignoring your presence. It's not like he acknowledged it before either, so it's not much of a change at all.

You pour yourself a glass of juice, and you feel the beginnings of a frown on your face.

This is what I wanted, you tell yourself. I didn't want to have to be so connected to Lysander, because he doesn't even care and because I can't be myself with him lingering around. I wanted this freedom.

You know in the back of your mind that you're only feeling this way because you actually thought, somewhere inside you, that Lysander cared so much for you that he'd run back apologizing.

However, Lysander doesn't apologize, and you settle for ignoring your own crippling dependency as you make plans to become a new Lorcan Scamander.


Lysander glares at you. It's barely noticeable, amongst all these people, and he's doing it in a way where it doesn't show, with barely enough force.

Lorcan's seen it before, and he recognizes it now. Lysander's signature glare.

He's angry.

You're not though, and you're not sure what that means.


Yesterday you weren't sure how this would play out. You thought it might be a nightmare.

But in truth, you are finally out of your cage, and this was anything but a nightmare.


Who is Lorcan Scamander?

This question starts to haunt you as you look out at the Black Lake.

Who are you, now that you're just Lorcan and not Lorcan&Lysander? Who am I?

You know you're not a copy of Lysander, that's for sure. You're sick of being compared to him. You are your own person; you are Lorcan and not anything else that binds you to Lysander.

But there has to be something deeper, right? There has to be some part of you that never surfaced because it was always overshadowed by Lysander. What is that?

You search within yourself. You're introverted. You like to read. You're at the top of your don't have may friends.

Lucy's there too. You're not really sure what part she plays inside of you, but you know she's important if she makes you feel so alive, so you place her at the top of the list, wondering why exactly being around her feels like a chemical explosion.


"Lorcan? Are you all right?"

It's Lucy's breathy voice, sending shivers down your spine as she innocently whispers into your ear. Grinning, you whirl around and throw your arms around her thin frame in an odd mixture of uncontrollable giddiness and teenage hormones.

"Lorcan?" she asks in alarm, but you only hold her tighter, inhaling her strawberry scent. "What's wrong?"

Your eyes widen as you realize what you're doing. Awkwardly, you untangle yourself from her and turn the other way, and you feel a ferocious blush covering your cheeks.

"I'm sorry," you mumble, coughing. Inwardly, you're furious with yourself.

How could you just do something like that? You have no idea how she'll react to this. She might be mad at him for breaking into her personal space, or she might be horrified and will stay away from him.

If she leaves, you don't know what you will do. She's the only one you have left, and as a new Lorcan, you intend to keep her around forever.

A ringing laugh interrupts you from your thoughts.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Lor, but it's good to see you so happy," she says. "Sometimes I get worried about you being so closed off and quiet. It's good for you to let out your emotions sometimes."

You glance at her out of the corner of your eyes, to see her, all adorable and innocent and short.

You flash her a brief smile, and she just laughs again.

"Will you tell me though? Why you're so happy? Friends should be glad together," she says.

She called you a friend. She said she wanted to be happy with you.

You almost throw your arms around her again before realizing that you can't tell her about you and Lysander.

You've been to enough Weasley parties to know that there is a very strong sense of family in them. You have a feeling that she wouldn't be happy at all to know that you were so glad to be rid of your twin brother, the person you should be closest to.

But you can't really lie to her.

You see the smile disappearing off her face slowly, like rain clouds slowly breaking the party on a sunny afternoon. "It's all right if you don't want to tell me, I just thought that since we're friends you'd-"

You stare at her, and she just shakes her head, as if she's disappointed in you for some reason.

Why would she be disappointed? you wonder. I didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm sorry-" you hesitantly begin, but she just looks up, beaming again.

"Don't worry about it!" She skips away, and you're happy that she's happy with you still, but for some reason, you can't help but think that she looked like she was covering up something else.


It crosses your mind, as you lay down in bed on your first night of freedom, that most people wouldn't feel so happy about being separated from someone as close as your identical twin.

You know the truth. You know that this is currently for the better, to have some space. You know that ever since you were eleven, you've had pent up, growing feelings of resentment towards your brother, for always being more approachable, more charismatic, more funny, and more open.

But still, you're awfully happy, more happy than any decent person would be over this.

In freedom, most people would be trying to connect again, trying to figure out a way to join together again.

However, you-

You have become someone who will easily leave your family behind, someone who will be happier in solitude with one of the few that cares for you hating you.

You have found sin.

You didn't know it would feel this great.


A/N: I actually updated! Yeah!

Done for:

Quidditch Competition Round 13 (Prompts: "In freedom, most people find sin."- John Green, The Fault In Our Stars.; truth; nightmare)