AN: Thanks to all those who read the first chapter, and thank you Anonymous Reviewer: 8Fangirl8, for reviewing! We were going to wait until tomorrow to post this next chapter, but got way too impatient. So, here it is! Now, I'm gonna go upload the other chapter!
Chapter one: Steve Romanoff?
Steve cursed under his breath, as he dragged his useless motorcycle through the neighborhood. He had tried to ride the damned thing to school, but it turned out to be a bust. What rendered the bike useless was the bent out of shape front-tire and the fact that the engine wouldn't start, even with a jump, or a fuel tank of gas.
That's what he gets for bumming auto parts from the neighborhood junk yard; Steve shook his head morosely at the thought.
As he journeyed back home; his whorish, under-aged neighbor greeted him; effectively interrupting his little 'walk of shame', "Hey, Stevey!" She cooed, "I see you're flaunting those bodacious thighs. Keep that up and you'll have a sugar daddy to pay your way through college!"
In the spur of the moment, Steve replied with, "Keep showing them titties and you'll find a Splenda daddy..." A second of confusion passed his thoughts, 'What the hell did I just say?'
Those words shocked the young woman deeply. She couldn't muster up a reply because good old Steve stated the obvious. Knowing full well that he couldn't salvage the conversation, Steve took the moment of silence as a sign to leave.
The man took a total of nine steps, and arrived in front of his drive way. His adopted mother, Natasha Romanoff, stood in the garage, (she adopted a man 70 years her senior) arms crossed. "Here I thought you would finally put the moves on that slut."
Steve quickly corrected her, "Hey, she is not a slut. Tia is a stripper, there is a difference."
Natasha waved off his nonsense, and continued with her previous activity. "Hey, can you give me a hand with these sign posts? I need to get these up."
Steve stepped into the garage, and grabbed a pile of posts. "Seriously, mom, no one wants to live out here. Just give it up!"
Natasha looked back at him incredulously, "Of course, people want to live here!" she continued, while gesturing towards the nearby lawn, which had a large WM waste dumpster, a broken toilet and a well-kept bust, which strangely resembled William Shatner. "We just have asses like this jerk next door, who takes pleasure in sucking the life out of other's property values!"
As Natasha rambled on, Steve's thoughts slowly shifted to a strange place. "I wonder if it's too late to sex her. I mean really, is it illegal to screw your adopted mother?" he thought as his eyes slowly traced the curves of Natasha's body.
Noticing that Steve was hardly paying attention, Natasha shouted at the man, "Are you even listening!" seeing that her words weren't getting to him, Natasha whacked him with a post.
He reacted to the impact, but he still wasn't fully there; so, she gave him another whack to the dome. This time, Steve cried out in pain, and snatched the wooden post from her grip. "Damn it witch, STOP!"
Steve's outburst stunned Natasha for a second, but she wasn't going to let him off easy. As she was about to retort, a car horn sounded off in the background.
Steve turned around to see his girlfriend had arrived. He was glad to see her-because, last night, he had called her and told her he would get to school on his own, VIA his banged up motorcycle, and yet, she still showed up... as if, she knew his bike wouldn't work, and that he would still need a ride-and, yet, he was terrified by the sight that he saw, when she pulled off her do-rag and revealed her hair!
Oh, my god... it was platinum-blonde! Steve gawked, but tried not to appear so obviously disturbed by Maria's recently bleached hair, as he leaned down and picked his backpack off the lawn. It was a bad habit of his, leaving his school-bag outside, on the driveway, when he got home from school every day. Sooner or later, someone was going to steal his homework.
Slinging it over his shoulder, Steve turned to Natasha, "That's my ride, I'll see you later, mom."
The ex-Russian spy bristled and glared at being called 'mom', "Shut up, Steve."
