So whoever is reading this- from whatever trash can you foraged it out of- you might be wondering what this story is about. Well, I don't really know. A lot of things happened to me in quick succession, and it calmed me down to write about them, so I did. But when I do finish, I'm going to throw this out.

Don't feel like I think you're any less terrible than anyone else. It's up to you to behave like a decent person, and the rest of us that aren't tepid fools will recognize and applaud your efforts.

My new school was called Newton High School. It was in the town neighboring ours, so I had a moment of happiness when I realized I wouldn't have to deal with Sam Schorr or his disgusting family anymore. My happiness was tapered when I realized there were kids like Sam Schorr in every high school across America, and they would never, never accept kids like me.

Since it was so far away, I had to take the bus.

The start of the new semester brought a fresh feeling of dread. From what you've heard about me so far you might think I'm some sort of delinquent. I'm just a quiet person who likes to mind my own business. Going to school aptly frightens any individual who thinks "outside the box," as my old principal put it.

I got up and got dressed. I know some girls whose morning routine might take 2 or 3 hours on a good day, but for me the time I spend getting ready is negligible. Comb my fingers through my mane of brownish blondish hair, brush my teeth, and pull on the clothes I always wear. Gray sweatshirt with the hood up, black ripped jeans, black sneakers.

Anne decided to drive me to school today because it was my first day, and when we got there she stopped the car and looked at me critically. I thought she'd make some remark about how my hood was always up or how I looked even more androgynous than usual since I had slashed off my hair to a buzz cut the previous night. Instead she said, "You look pretty today."

I flashed her a smile, because I was really trying to be nice to her. "Think I'll be prom queen?"

I didn't hear her response because I was too busy getting out of the car and staring up at the school. It was huge, all glass and concrete and you could tell the builders had tried to make it seem edgy and modern but it just looked like what it was- a jail for kids that had to all be corralled into identical ways of thinking. And whatever happened to good old wood?

The bell rang and I sighed. Time to follow the other lemmings.


If I were to draw my first day at Newton High School, I'd draw a straight line until about halfway through the paper, and then I'd draw a bunch of scribbles and stab the paper, creating some holes, and then to top it all off I'd set the paper on fire with my dad's lighter until it was nothing more than a pile of ashes that I could trod into the ground.

Which doesn't mean it went badly.

Most of my interactions with my fellow peers went something like this:

Girl: So, your name is Max. You went to Northgate, right?

Max: ...

Girl: I heard you, uh, stabbed somebody with a pencil.

Max: ...

Girl: ...

Max: Yeah, that's right.

Girl: ...

Max: ...

Girl: Uh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

Max: Oh, I don't really care. Tell anyone you want.

Girl: ...

One girl asked me if I was going to join a sports team, and when I heard that I spit out the water I had been drinking. I said that sports were part of the illusion, which confused her.

"What?"

"It's just a way for them to control us even more." I took another measured gulp of my water. "Otherwise people would get fed up with their pent up physical energy, and it would be bad for the oppressors. I mean, I'd definitely go out for a run if it was a nice day, or take a swim in a nice lake, or learn some judo in self defense. But do you see me chasing after a ball? Am I a dog?"

"I'm the captain of the soccer team."

I watcher her walk away with a scowl.

When I got home Anne asked me how my day was, and I said, "Yeah, it was pretty nice. This girl named Sarah in my homeroom made me a friendship bracelet, and at lunch I and met her friends and her boyfriend and they're all super nice. And after school her boyfriend took me and Sarah to the back of the gym behind the bleachers and we had a three-way. Except I don't think he used protection so I might be pregnant, but at least I have friends."

"That's not funny," Anne said, a sad look on her face. "How was it really?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow," I said.