AN: Just so you know, my Joker is the old school joker. Heath Ledger rocked it on the big screen, but my heart will always belong to that crazed, chemically scarred Joker; with his stark white skin, ruby lips and emerald eyes and hair.

Disclaimer: So not mine.

After a long day of board meetings and event planning as Bruce Wayne, the Batman was ready to don his signature gear and hit the streets.

If he was lucky he might even get a lead on the Joker who had escaped Arkham two days before.

The Dark Knight didn't like it when his nemesis was on the loose, he tended to make things... unpredictable.

Handing his briefcase and jacket over to his loyal retainer, Bruce made his way down to his cave.

The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold.

The Joker, still in his Arkham finest, was sitting on his computer chair reading a book.

"Hey Brucey, I was wondering when you would arrive." The man hadn't even looked up from his book.

"Joker! How-?!"

"Don't worry Brucey. If I had any intention of revealing your identity to the world I would have done so years ago."

"But how-?"

"You should really close your mouth, you're starting to look like a fish."

The green haired man finally looked up from his reading and smirked.

He actually sat there and smirked!

"How did you get in here?!"

"Through the door."

Now he was making jokes!

"You should really update your security. One old man and a clock? Anyone could get down here."

"What are you doing here?" He needed to get a handle on this situation.

Then he could knock the madman out and... what? His identity was known. How was he to deal with this?

"I came to talk."

"-" He had heard wrong.

He had most definitely heard wrong!

"I know, completely out of character; but I recently got some good advice from my friend Joe, and I wanted to see if it worked.

"We have been at each others' throats for years, Bats. And I really think we're made for each other-"

"We are not made for each other!"

"Let me finish! Please.

"I think we were made for each other, but I know you don't think the same way. So I am here to get to know the man behind the bat. In return you get to know the man behind the clown.

"If, in a months time, you are still unconvinced; then I shall quietly go back to Arkham and rot."

"I don't believe a word of it Joker."

"You should, I'm trying to meet you halfway. The least you could do is the same, Batsy.

"Or I can blow up your mansion, expose you as Batman and destroy Gotham and everything you ever loved.

"The choice is yours of course.

"Why don't you go on up and talk it over with Alfred. He worries, you know."

Going back to his book in clear dismissal, the Joker proceeded to ignore the other man.

Not knowing what else to do, and still in a bit of shock from the last few minutes, Bruce went back upstairs to find his old mentor.

"Sir? Is everything all right?"

Bruce had come into the kitchen and taken a seat without a word.

"Why do you ask?" Said the shaken man, still thinking over his encounter downstairs.

"It's simply that once you descend into the cave I don't usually see you again until morning, unless you're bleeding of course."

"I-I was just hungry."

What else could he say, 'Hey the Joker is downstairs and going to be staying for a while'?

No, he had to think on this before dragging poor Alfred into the middle of it.

"Ah, yes. It is good to see you finally taking an interest in your own stomach. I worry, you know." He began making his young master some supper.

Bruce paused at that last comment, the Joker had said the same thing.

"Yes, I know."

"Out and about with criminals at all hours, coming home beaten half to death.

"It's a wonder your able to stand half the time, let alone attend board meetings; not that I don't worry about you there as well.

"Some of those lawyers could eat their own children."

The old man visible shuddered.

"I'm just glad none of your more dangerous enemies are out and about."

"The Joker escaped a couple of days ago." Wasn't his old guardian worried about the Batman's next encounter with the Clown Prince?

"Yes, well. He hasn't tried to kill you in some time, has he?

"No, he hurts people and makes threats until you find him; and then you beat him to a pulp. He may get his licks in too, but I'm the one who treats you afterwards.

"You never have any serious or life threatening injuries after fighting with the clown, not anymore at any rate.

"Not that I don't still feel bad anytime you go after him, I just feel a lot worse when you go after anyone else. You've been hurt worse on nightly patrols than with that madman lately.

"Now here, eat this, it will take your mind off whatever is bothering you." The butler set a plate in front of the young man, piled it high with all his favorites.

"Why do you think something is bothering me?" He had thought he was hiding it well.

"I have known you your whole life, Master Bruce, I know all that there is to know about you, and then some. So, when I see something bothering you, and you trying to hide it; I know it must be bad."

"Your right. Though I don't want to talk about it quite yet."

"Very well, sir. Now eat your dinner. The criminal classes are waiting."

You have no idea who is waiting, thought Bruce.

Finishing the impeccable meal Alfred had made him, and having thought over all his options, he headed back down to the cave.

"You can stay." He felt like the words were being ripped from him.

"I would thank you, but I didn't give you much choice." The green haired clown placed a bookmark on his page and looked to his new host.

"No you didn't. So what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, anything really. But I think we should start with sleeping arrangements."

"What?"

"You have a very lovely home. I've already seen most of it, quite the library I might add." He held up the book he had almost completed.

"But I will need a bedroom soon, and an introduction to your intrepid butler. He seems nice."

"You will not touch him!" He could take his life being flipped, but he would not have Alfred in danger.

"I have no intention too. I can be pleasant company if I set my mind to it, and I will be nothing less than pleasant to the man who raised my Bats."

He had no comment on that, his mind drew a complete blank.

"Why don't we get introductions out-of-the-way first, shall we?" His arch-enemy turned to his computer and hit a button to summon his butler.

When had the madman gained access to his computer?!

"You really do need to look into better security Batsy. I had your codes cracked before your chair was even warm under me."

He had no time to come up with a retort to that as Alfred walked in.

"Yes, sir? You-" His eyes had fallen on the seated man talking with his master.

"Sir?"

"It's alright, Alfred. I'm not here to harm your ward. I'm just staying for a month of bonding, if that'll be fine by you?"

Looking between the two, the butler noted the resigned slump of his Masters' shoulders and the eager gleam in poisonous green eyes.

With an internal smile, 'This might just be what the Young Master needs,' Alfred gave a slight bow.

"I'll have a room setup shortly and appropriate clothing available soon after. If you will excuse me?"

As he turned to go he caught the startled look on his Masters' face, it paired well with the knowing smirk on the others' stark white features.

He didn't know what was going on, though he was sure to find out soon, but if those two weren't lovers before the end of the month he didn't deserve the title of Butler.