Disclaimer: It isn't mine.
Warning: Slashy goodness.
A/N: I suck, but I do have an excuse. If anyone can help me, I'd be forever indebted. At the house where I primarily live at, the laptop will not allow me to login, resulting in the large delays between chapters. I type in my info, but then it tells me I'm not logged in. Because of this, I only get to post when I go to the other house, which isn't really often. Help?
And, man, our boys really can't handle their alcohol.
"Do you realize the you just stuck your tongue in my mouth in front the entire Common Room?"
"No, sorry."
"No?"
"You see, there was an accident when I was a small child. Horrific, really. I lost all feeling in my mouth, and that damn tongue of mind seems to move on its own accord."
"Har har."
James looked at Remus indignantly. "You're no fun. C'mon, you just got to snog me! Me! You should be crying tears of joy. What's wrong with you, man? Are you ill?"
"I'm just not into you, Prongs, no offense. It's all just a bit awkward," Remus replied.
"You've never hooked up with someone who you didn't fancy just for fun?" James asked, looking as if he had just encountered someone who was not in their right mind.
"No, I haven't, thank you very much. I believe you should like someone before you are intimate."
Almost immediately a grin graced James' lips. "Do you really? Because I seem to be remembering a night, not so long ago, when you took Miss Abigail Stephens up to our dorm. I can also add that you were up there for a mighty long time."
"I was drunk so it doesn't count! And it was my birthday! It's impossible to have morals on your birthday!"
"Excuses, excuses."
"Oh, shut up. It's just weird with you because you're my friend who I don't like as anything more than that."
"Would you like to stage a dramatic break up then?" James asked while sighing.
Remus nearly said 'yes', but a figure approaching the entrance to the Common Room, directly where the two boys stood, made him do something entirely different.
James was completely taken by surprise when Remus grabbed him roughly and pulled him into a deep kiss. He squeaked when he felt a hand grasp his bum.
"Moony!" James cried while he punched his arm playfully. "You're an animal!"
"Am I interrupting something again?" Sirius asked venomously from behind James' back.
"What's up your arse?" James countered.
"Nothing at the moment, but I'll obviously have to keep guard at night. Merlin only knows what you two will try."
"Sorry to disappoint, Sirius, but Remus and I are exclusive. Aren't we, Moony?"
Remus uncomfortably coughed up a quiet 'yes'.
Without another word to his two friends, Sirius told the Fat Lady the password and was granted entrance.
"Ooooo. I think he wants you!"
"Please. He looked more disgusted than jealous."
James looked at Remus seriously. "I have some advice for you: Every morning after you wake up and every night before you go to bed I wanted you to look in the mirror and say 'I am hot. I am sexy. I am the most awesome bloke ever. Hear me roar.'"
Remus rubbed his forehead exhaustedly. "And what exactly is that going to do?"
"It's going to help you with that self-confidence problem you've got. I do it every morning, and look at me! If Sirius fancies you, then you need to be able to see it, not deny it. I mean, I'm not sure that he likes you or anything, but you need to keep your mind open to it and not immediately shut his reactions out."
The moment Remus and James stepped into the Great Hall, hand-in-hand, the entire room went silent. The Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws stared without shame, and the Slytherins feigned indifference.
Remus cursed the sun for peaking through the gray, storm clouds to shine a bright spotlight on them. He looked towards the ceiling to glare at it but was forced to merely squint murderously.
As the boys walked to their table, Remus could swear that he heard their footsteps echo throughout the Hall. In reality, they didn't echo because of all the people and furniture in the room, but Remus thought it would have been appropriate if they had.
"Hey," James chirped at Sirius and Peter when they reached their designated spot.
As if someone had pressed the volume up on a remote, the noise in the room immediately rose considerably. The gossip sharks of Hogwarts had found a juicy, bloody piece of meat and devoured it thoroughly.
"I told you, Bertha! I was right!"
"Potter and Lupin? It's crazy."
"I heard they are having a baby!"
"A baby?" someone chimed in, "I heard twins!"
"Don't be stupid. Boys can't have babies."
"Shut up."
"Well," another joined, "I heard that Slughorn walked in on them shagging in a broom closet."
James happened to hear this last piece of information about his life that he had yet to experience. He shimmied down to the table towards the offender.
"I heard that Old Sluggy joined in," he whispered while he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Once back with his friends, James began to pile heaps of food on his plate.
"Great morning, isn't it?" Sirius yelled joyously, gesturing to the sky. The sun had taken to hiding again, and only bleak looking clouds good be seen. "The pumpkin juice is nice and icy cold, the tea is the perfect temperature, and the sausage is especially greasy." He flashed a toothy grin. "You two alright, then?" he asked charmingly.
"Er, yes." Remus replied curiously. James mumbled something, spraying bits of food onto Peter.
"Well, it's Hogsmeade today," Sirius started brightly, "Are you guys going together or are well all going?"
"I thought you were going with that... Er... What's-Her-Face..." Peter peered at Sirius questioningly.
"Uh, I was, but not anymore." Sirius looked rather uncomfortable. "So are we all going or not?"
Having just swallowed the food in his mouth, James joined the conversation. "Sounds good to me. How about you, Moony?"
Remus was suddenly motivated by only Merlin knows what. "Oh, alright," he started, "I thought it was going to be just you and me though?"
"Oh, silly, we have all night for that," James said through a grin.
Peter coughed up his eggs.
"Well, it's settled then?" Sirius asked cheerfully.
"So, Pads, I think you should go flirt with Rosmerta a bit so I can sneak some firewhiskey from out behind the bar."
"Good idea," Sirius said and walked up to the barmaid and did as was requested.
It worked, which wasn't a surprise. I hadn't failed since their Second Year, which, by the way, earned the pair plenty of detention.
With bottles clinking beneath all of their robes, the four boys hurried down the path that led to the Shrieking Shack.
Once they had reached their destination, out of breath from running and carrying a lot of liquid, they sat down in a spot concealed behind the old house.
"Cheers," they exclaimed after quickly pulling out of the bottles and opening them. The bottles hit each other with a loud 'clang'.
James, although he drank quite a bit, was known for being a light-weight, and Remus, who was not much of a drinker, also became drunk quickly. The pair became increasingly inebriated, and the other two weren't far behind. After the whole supply was consumed and a variety of inappropriate topics were thoroughly discussed, the four-some sat in a brief silence, all extremely drunk.
"So what's it like being gay and all that?" Peter asked out of nowhere.
"Well," Remus began thickly as he steadied himself against the side of the house, "It sort of sucks."
Peter looked somewhat disappointed that James didn't answer, but he listened anyway.
"Really, it does," Remus slurred,"You can't tell your friends because they'll either hate you or think you're hitting on them, and it's hard to find a bloke to date when it seems like you're the only one."
"Except James?" Sirius chimed in quietly, speaking to the grass.
"What?" Remus immediately said, looking at Sirius like he was mad. "Ohh, yeah, except James!" he added loudly after looking questioningly at Sirius for a couple of moments.
"Disomeonsaymaname" James called up. He was sprawled out in the grass, staring at the sky, on the verge of unconsciousness.
"No," Sirius called back.
By the time fifteen more minutes had passed, Peter had copied James' position and was now laying on the ground passed out.
Remus patted the grounded beside him. "Come on over, Siri, we're the only ones left and you're like far far away."
Sirius accepted and stumbled a few steps to where Remus sat crookedly. Rather than sitting beside Remus, Sirius chose to sit directly in front of him instead.
Remus looked up at Sirius. His deep gray eyes seemed to be made of pools of silver with a never-ending bottom. The looked he received sent chills through out his entire body.
Remus, although he later convinced himself had imagined it, thought he saw a looked of desperateness in Sirius' eyes, and at the same time, he looked animal-like. He looked like an any given moment he would pounce his friend and ravage him thoroughly.
Remus wished he would.
In his drunken state, Remus didn't notice his body inching forward, threatening to fall, face-first, on the ground.
By chance, Remus looked up and saw at once what was happening. Although, he considered pretending he didn't because he certainly didn't mind how close his face was to Sirius' chest. Rather than remaining where he was, he looked up to Sirius' face to see if he had noticed at all.
Sirius was close to being asleep. He eyes were only half-way open, and somehow, Remus thought it made him look that much more sexy.
With his drunkenness fogging up the part of his brain that would normally stop him from doing what he was about to do, he felt no fear.
Without thought, he slowly leaned close to Sirius' face. Remus thought he saw Sirius tilt his head to the side. Before their lips could make contact, Sirius' torso fell backwards and hit the ground with a hard 'thud'.
A/N: Ahhaha. Please please review.
