I laugh at yet another comment made by Danny. I'm pretty sure we've been laughing non-stop for nearly an hour now. Even though I'm laughing and smiling there is this one piece of my heart that is aching. I can't help but feel bad that we've upset Dougie. I know we have even though he didn't say it. He just got up and walked out, and I saw the look on his face as he left. Of course I never went after him because I thought he would just need some time to himself. Then we heard him come back down a bit later and I made a comment about jerking himself off because that always made him laugh and make a dirty comment, but not tonight. So now I'm beginning to worry.

"I'm gonna go check on Dougie," I say as I stand up.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea...He seemed pretty distant earlier," Tom replies.

"Yeah, maybe we should have backed off..." Danny says in thought. The atmosphere suddenly changed from happy to concern, the laughing stopped and everybody fell into thought. I headed upstairs and stopped outside of Dougie's room.

"Dougie?" I said softly and knocked on the door. There was no reply so I assume that he is asleep. I open the door quietly and step in. Dougie is lying on his bed asleep. The bedside lamp is on covering the room in a soft glow. I smile, he looks so peaceful. Then I notice that the bathroom light is on. I walk over to flick it off but just as I do something catches my eye. I flick the light back on and walk over to the sink. My heart begins to race as I reach out and pick up one of the bottles, Valium. Then I pick up the other one, sleeping tablets...And they are prescribed to Dougie. I want to drop everything and panic but I hold myself together for just a moment. I read the label on the sleeping tablets then pour them into my hand and do a rough count. Christ! There are over half missing! I drop everything and pick up the Valium bottle, and again the same thing. I drop the Valium and run into the bedroom. No more does Dougie look like he's sleeping. Now he looks like he's just overdosed. I sit on the edge of the bed next to him and gently shake his shoulder but he doesn't move.

"Dougie, wake up," I say firmly and give his face a bit of a slap. And still there is no sign he will wake up. That's when the panic sets in. I can't help the tears the instantly spill from my eyes, my hands are shaking and the choked sobs coming from my throat are ringing in my ears. With a little struggle I manage to slip myself behind Dougie so he's resting in my lap. I don't know what to do, my body is frozen, I'm in shock. I honestly don't know if Dougie is alive or...I can't even think the damn word! So I just sit here with Dougie in my arms as tears roll down my face. I know that I need to call for Tom and Danny to help me but I can't...I can't.

"...Hopefully they aren't making out," I hear Danny laugh, his voice floating up the stairs. Thank God they are coming up. When I look up Tom and Danny are standing in the doorway but their smiles fall from their faces when they see me.

"What's wrong?" Tom asks as he runs in and kneels near the bed.

"I think he's..." I sob.

"What? He's what?" Danny asks panicked.

"Bathroom..." I whisper. It's almost inaudible but they both hear it.

Tom jumps up and runs to the bathroom with Danny. In seconds Danny instantly has his phone to his ear as he steps from the room. Tom is sitting on the bed now; his eyes too are spilling with tears. I am sobbing uncontrollably and I can't breathe.

"Harry settle down," Tom tries to calm me but I'm panicking, I'm scared, I can't calm down. "Harry you need to calm down, for Dougie's sake,"

"I...He...I don't want him to...He can't be...Is he?" I choke through sobs.

"Look..." Tom says. He reaches out and places two fingers on Dougie's neck. "He's just sleeping,"

"But he won't wake up," I cry. Tom pries me from underneath Dougie so that I'm sitting on the edge of the bed with him.

"Ambulance is on their way," Danny says as he walks back in. He's been crying but whether it's for my sake or just to make himself feel a bit better he has stopped and is trying to stay strong. "Yes, I'm still here," he says into the phone, still on the line with the emergency service.

"We need to help him," I say.

"I know," Tom says but he doesn't know how we can, just like me.

"Guys...You need to get the bottles so the ambulance officers know what he's taken," Danny says as calmly as he can. I look at Tom desperately and he gets up to get the bottles. I turn back and look at Dougie. I run my fingers across his cheek.

"Excuse me sir," I look up to see a woman standing next to me, she's a medic. Tom has to move me out of the way because I just stare at her like she's from another planet. The next half an hour is the longest time I've ever seen. The medics work on Dougie and soon they are taking him away. I'm a complete wreck and Danny and Tom are struggling to keep me from going absolutely crazy. I'm sure if it wasn't for them then I wouldn't be standing where I am right now, which is outside waiting for them so we can go to the hospital. They've just spent the last half an hour calling all of Dougie's family and friends. I wanted to help but I just couldn't move, couldn't speak. I know that Danny and Tom know that and I am ever so grateful that they understand. It takes ten minutes to get to the hospital and when we do arrive the woman at the desk tells us Dougie is still in surgery and we have to wait. So we sit in the waiting room. It is so quiet.

"I never realised how beautiful he was," I whisper. Tom and Danny lift their heads. "I never noticed how blue his eyes could be some days, or they way that his lips would curl into that smile that wins so many hearts...I never realised how he would smile and laugh at the silliest of things, or they way he would make something so small such a hilarious thing..." I can't stop the words spilling from my mouth. But I feel it's the only thing I can do right now.

"...Or the way he can make the cleanest or words and sentences into the dirtiest things we have ever heard," Tom chimed in.

"And I've noticed that even though he says he always hates you touching him and hugging him...He loves it," Danny says and I look up at him and he has a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, he's always following you...It's almost as if...As if he always wants you in his sight," Tom says thoughtfully.

"I think I love him," I say. There is no hesitation in my voice, no hesitation in my mind. I've said it and I can't take it back.

"We all do mate," Danny said, reaching over and patting my shoulder.

"No, I think I really love him... I love him," I say. For a moment Tom and Danny just stare at me, their faces blank and then slowly smiles appear on their lips and it makes me feel a bit better.


I'm curious...Should I write another two pieces? One in Tom's POV and one in Danny's POV? Let me know what you think about that idea. Oh and what did you think about this piece?