DISCLAIMER: I own nothing; all rights of characters belong to Shonda and the Grey's Anatomy team!

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Callie POV

I sighed heavily and considered running back out of the elevator but I thought that would be a bit childish. She saw my eyes flick towards the opened doors, and pushed me against the side of the elevator to ensure I wouldn't run. I glared at her as she held me captive against the wall and as we started to feel the elevator move I looked away. Her eyes were holding so much sympathy for me that I couldn't bare it. I then felt myself beginning to shake again and saw Arizona attempt to wrap her arms around me, but I refused and shoved her away roughly.

I then started to feel something I had never really felt before. I had previously been very angry. Felt so angry like I would explode, angry when my family had blatantly refused to accept me, angry when I found out George cheated on me, angry when Arizona went to Africa and even when Arizona returned from Africa but this was something with no comparison. My mind went blank apart from my anger; at that point I didn't even really know why I was angry, all I was aware of was it felt like the world was out to get me, and I felt the biggest lack of control.

Before I knew it I had smacked my fist into the wall, my knuckles were red raw and I felt a blinding pain, I had tears streaming down my face and I saw a trembling Arizona in the corner of the elevator.

I didn't know why the elevator doors hadn't opened but then saw that Arizona had pushed the STOP button. I sank down against the elevator wall, and lowered my head into my hands. The fear I saw in Arizona's eyes when she was watching me was all too much. I hadn't meant to scare her; my feelings were just so overwhelming I couldn't control it. I felt like the world was enclosing in on me and I couldn't do anything to fight it.

"I-I-I can't b-breath, Ariz-zona" I was gasping for air, my brain telling me to breathe but my lungs felt like they were the size of a thumbnail.

I saw Arizona kneel down and then felt her hands on each of my thighs, she stared at me forcing me to look into her eyes and another round of tears flooded out of me.

"Breath Calliope, don't think about anything else, just focus on what I'm saying, come on, in and out, in and out, that's it"

As I focused on what Arizona was saying it helped settle me, and I sat there and looked into Arizona's eyes. Her eyes always seemed to help me and they always spoke what she was struggling to say.

"It just doesn't seem real" I confessed.

"I know"

"I don't want any of this"

"Calliope, I know"

"What if I do-don't get through it? How are we going to tell So-Sofia? Or Mark? Or my family? They don't even ta-talk to me, how am I supposed to tell them-"

The next thing I knew I was on my back with Arizona straddling me looking down with tears in her eyes.

"Calliope, I love you, and we are going to do everything we can to get through this, because I love you more than I have loved anyone else and you are my wife, and I just love you so much"

And then her lips were on mine, melding together, both of us trying to convey without words how much we love each other.

We decided not to tell anyone about it until after the next appointment, we thought it would be better to have talked some things through with Dr Hoeper and learnt more about the situation. We were told that I had Acute Lymphocytic Leukaemia, a type of leukaemia usually diagnosed in children so they were as surprised as we were for me to have it. I was aware that this could possibly make it harder for Arizona to handle as well, as she sees some of her PEDS patients suffering with this.

They always say that doctors make the worst patients and this was no change to that theory. I questioned Dr Hoeper at every statement making sure she wasn't sugar coating anything. I learnt that there was a 30/50% survival rate for people my age and we were told that if the course we chose was chemotherapy that it would be brutal. She was also honest about the fact that with the amount of chemotherapy I was going to have, it was a definite I was going to lose my hair.

Arizona POV

I arrived home from work; Mark was looking after Sofia again so I could focus on Callie but as far as I could see the apartment was empty.

"Calliope?" I yelled out. "Where are you?"

When I didn't receive a reply that's when I started to worry, I walked through the lounge room towards our bedroom and poked my head in and didn't see her. But that's when I heard her and what I heard broke me.

I could hear Callie sobbing on the other side of the locked door to our en-suite. I ran across the room and softly spoke.

"Callie, honey, can you let me in"

But there was no response; her sobs just seemed to get louder.

"Callie, please let me in, I just want to help you"

But I could still hear no movement, so I quickly ran to the kitchen cupboard and took the spare key to the bathroom off of its hook.

As I put the key into the lock I turned it slowly as not to startle her. I found her sitting on the toilet lid shaking holding an electric razor in her hands.

"Callie, what are you doing?"

"I-I-I don't think I can do it Arizona"

"Do what?"

"My-my hair, I can't shave my head Arizona"

"Oh baby, you don't have too, you can just wait till the time comes" I tried to reason.

"NO! I need some control, and this is the only thing I can control" she stuttered. "I didn't realise it would be so hard to do" she was still crying as she stood up and looked into the mirror, her arms were shaking and I noticed she had certainly lost more weight.

I went up to her, and rapped my arms around her waist, pressing kisses onto the back of her neck and whispering reassurances in her ear, gently rocking us both in a soothing motion. I reached for her hand and softly took the razor from it, and placed it on the sink. I then turned her around and wrapped her up in the most comforting hug I could muster.

"It doesn't need to be today Callie, it doesn't need to be today"

We stood there for a while, my aim trying to calm her down and to slow her breathing. When she seemed to be improving I turned us around and led her onto our bed, lifting up the sheets and prodding her to get under the covers. I soon joined her and as I wrapped my arms around her we both sought solace in our sleep.