It was a dim, quiet night in the royal palace. The war raged, and somewhere out there Earth Kingdom children were dying, Zuko was probably clinging on to life despite his father trying to be rid of him at all costs, and Azula, well, Azula was stripping off the clothes she wore during the war meetings and eyeing her wife with occasional frustration.
"You're still upset about that servant girl, aren't you?" Azula sighed, as she lied down in she and Mai's bed. They were utterly exhausted from a political event. "I'll stop altogether if it makes you happy."
Lies, of course. But Mai found in her life that agreeing with Azula was the only way to keep from dying an untimely death of stress. No matter how ridiculous her words were, Mai would always simply agree. Easier, less tightness of the chest involved.
"I don't think you can stop," Mai replied honestly and Azula slipped under the blankets.
"Why not?" Azula demanded softly, cocking an eyebrow.
"You develop sexual obsessions," Mai explained with a sigh. She closed her eyes and wished that they would both just go to sleep instead of confronting Azula's incredible, terrible issues. But, then again, she did start it.
"I don't develop sexual obsessions. If you're jealous tell me. I can be jealous too," Azula said regally as if it were such a consolation. Mai sighed and Azula wished that she would not.
"There's not a problem with it. I guess," Mai murmured, not knowing why she was trying. She lingered for a moment on her book. Azula was staring at the ceiling pointlessly.
Mai crept through the sheets towards Azula, trying to remember if there ever was a spark, or a certain moment. It distracted her thoughts slightly as Azula turned to her and their lips met. It was slow and hesitant, as neither knew if the other genuinely wanted it. Mai's lips trailed down Azula's neck and the princess inhaled slowly. The room smelled entirely of Azula's perfume, but Mai did not.
"I wouldn't mind having a sexual obsession with you," Azula murmured with a truly twisted smirk. Her hand was on Mai's waist as she slipped on top of her. Mai was almost relieved that she had less to do, and then she felt guilty about it.
Azula slowly slipped down Mai's thin sleeves, revealing her shoulders and then some. It felt almost medical, in a way that made Mai feel less aroused than she was when it began. More guilt. Maybe that was why Azula could not keep her hands to herself. Because something between them was dead.
Azula's rouge lips touched Mai's clavicle, and then her left breast. The heat was slow but it would not subside. Not without more.
The first time Mai realized she liked girls was the first time she slept with Azula. It came on very quickly, before she had even registered anything else.
Mai was fourteen and engaged to Zuko at the time. She was in Azula's room, in her bed, braiding her hair and wondering what normal girls, unlike them, were like. Maybe she was attracted to Azula, maybe she was not.
Azula leaned back after her hair was completed. Mai watched the rise and fall of her chest with too much interest. She had heard about Azula and the girl she slept with before the girl subsequently disappeared. Mai imagined Ozai would have the same reaction to a boy, but it was evident that Azula was not interested in men.
People asked Mai if she was a lesbian or not. The answer was always no. She had slept with Zuko enough times to be confident in her sexuality.
But of course she could question it. And of course when things slowly evolved that night, Mai did not bother to stop them. She enjoyed the touch in a way she had not experienced before. And when Zuko was banished, she may have been sad to see him go, but that night, she was pulled back into the arms of a girl who would be bound to chew her up and spit her out.
Yet, Mai wanted more. And more. And more.
She decided she was fine with sleeping with a woman for the rest of her life.
Azula's touch made it worth it.
"That's what you're wearing to your first day of work? As a nanny?" Rei asked, her eyebrows nearly touching her hair. Ty Lee spun around pointedly. She was quite proud of her outfit. "That skirt is... and you really think a top like that is appropriate for children? You look like you're going to a sexy maid competition."
"I like it," Ty Lee replied sharply, crossing her arms. "I was disowned and I can do whatever I want now."
"Yes, perhaps you can regain your social status by ruining another marriage. And this time, you won't just ruin a general, you'll wind up destroying the Fire Nation while you're at it," Rei said smugly in response and Ty Lee mentally throttled her.
"I don't think either of them is interested in me," Ty Lee replied earnestly and Rei almost believed her. "I feel pretty in this and I want to feel pretty. That's the end of that."
Ty Lee stopped and looked around for a moment. It was an apartment that she never got the chance to decorate. It was disgusting, albeit in an upper class neighborhood. She decided as she handed Rei two of her suitcases and seized the other three, she would not miss this place one bit.
The first time Ty Lee realized she liked girls was when she was thirteen. She was sitting in class in her boring colony trying to focus but not doing well. Math was not her strong suit and she was thinking deeply and intensely about the boy across the street who she was determined to make fall in love with her.
He was perfect and dreamy and looked stunning. And he was bound to be a soldier.
But Ty Lee was looking at her best friend and thinking that she was equally dreamy and perfect and stunning. Everything changed in a pivotal moment that might as well have slapped her in the face.
An all girl's school, she decided, was the reason. She was terrified of the thought of falling in love with someone who was not easy. Who was not as predictable as a boy. That she was fairly different from everyone else in a multitude of ways.
She fell in love with her best friend. And she lived to regret it. She was twelve when she first told her that she was in love with her, and she almost instantly regretted it. It did not go over well.
"You're not in love with me, anyway. You're in love with the idea of me," she said and Ty Lee realized she was right. "I guess I should've noticed."
Ty Lee never had a crush that she did not put on an unrealistic pedestal. It felt best to think that the person she was in love with was inhumanly perfect. It ended several friendships, both with girls and boys.
And Ty Lee would fall in love again and again and every time know that she was doing more worshipping than loving.
Ty Lee arrived on her first day and suddenly felt self conscious of her outfit. She was several years younger than her superiors, who were dressed far more conservatively. But perhaps, Ty Lee hoped, it was merely because of age.
"Are you a slave or someone accompanying the heir to the throne to social events?" asked the woman Ty Lee figured out through trial and error she was supposed to report to.
"Excuse me?" Ty Lee chirped, baffled.
"You slump when you walk, you dress like you belong in a brothel, not a palace, and you stare at the ground when you're walking. Are you afraid you'll lose your feet if you don't keep an eye on them?" There was a brief silence as Ty Lee's eyes widened and her lips shrank and trembled. The elderly woman had a momentary flicker of compassion on her hardened features. "I'm Chou. I'm in charge of the servants in the palace. I've been doing it for forty years now."
"That's impressive," Ty Lee said earnestly. She had not stuck to something for more than five minutes, save for her expansive military training and while practicing for her performances. But both elite forces and freakshow do not fit in very well with the structured, gilded royal palace.
"I'll show you where you're staying," Chou said and Rei left Ty Lee with her suitcases and bolted. Ty Lee gulped and followed Chou into the palace.
Ty Lee's bedroom was nice. Very nice. It was even more ornate and gilded than her childhood bedroom, which was surprising. She lived in what once was a palace in the Earth Kingdom, washed over with Fire Nation memorabilia. But they lived like royalty in the colonies, before being outcasts with too much money in the homeland.
"Do you like it?" Chou inquired and Ty Lee knew she had to assent.
She laid out her suitcases and decided to unpack later. Chou guided her to Zurin's room, which was humongous and over decorated. The plethora of toys was more than Ty Lee had ever seen in one place. And few of them were dolls, Ty Lee noted. Quite different from her childhood.
"This is Zurin. I'll be with you today," Chou said as Ty Lee saw a little girl with a fervor in her golden eyes. She did not look pleased about Ty Lee, which made this all the more daunting.
"It's nice to meet you, Zurin," Ty Lee offered weakly.
The child did not respond.
Many hours later, Ty Lee was grateful when Zurin was finally asleep. She walked out into the courtyard, ready to stretch or practice, to somehow release the immense frustration. This job was not as easy as she thought it would be. But she knew she had to make do somehow. It was nice to be living in the palace.
She slipped into the courtyard, cracking her knuckles, and was met by streaks of cerulean across the crisp night air. Ty Lee walked closer before realizing she had just interrupted the princess in the middle of assaulting a steel target. It was red from sheer heat.
"I'm sorry," Ty Lee stammered as Azula looked up and saw her.
The princess's body shined with a light coat of glistening sweat. Ty Lee averted her eyes like she was supposed to, but Azula was walking towards her.
If Ty Lee had listened to what her mother said, she would be at home, not here, in this situation. But she was young and as dumb as they mocked her for being, and she let a charming man lead her away. And now she stood and felt exactly as she did when she realized she was in too deep with her boyfriend.
The princess looked brilliant in the starlight, but her eyes were fixated on Ty Lee. She suddenly wished she had listened to her sister and changed her clothes. Perhaps tiny bright pink dress was not the best choice, as she felt twice as exposed.
"So how was my daughter?" Azula asked, walking inside and Ty Lee breathed a sigh of relief. She was worried the princess would just keep staring with her piercing golden eyes.
"Um, alive," Ty Lee offered and Azula suppressed laughter. It was not the answer she was expecting, but it would do. "She's asleep now and I was just... well... I was just going outside to practice before bed. I didn't know you were..."
"It's not a crime to run into me. Or am I just that scary?" Azula had an amused smirk painted on her face and Ty Lee was blushing as pink as her dress.
"You're pretty scary." Ty Lee paused, her eyes flickering wide for a split second. "In a good way. In a good way."
"I know," was Azula's reply. "What are you practicing?"
"I was trained for the elite forces in the military," Ty Lee explained hastily, wanting out more desperately than she had ever wanted something.
"Yet you're a nanny?" Azula cocked an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued. The girl just looked like a pretty face, but clearly there was more to her.
"It doesn't bother me. War isn't really my speed anyway," Ty Lee said, feeling breathless.
"It's a pretty nasty thing," Azula said honestly, though with a hint of pleasure in her seductive tone.
"It's really nice out tonight. Just look at the moon," Ty Lee said uncomfortably, her adept social skills failing her.
"I never look at the sky. There's so much going on down here," Azula purred and Ty Lee inhaled sharply. The princess smirked at the small breath of fear.
"There is, isn't there?" Ty Lee murmured, hoping agreeing with Azula would help. The situation seemed futile to her.
"Like us, right now. I think that this is far more interesting than how the clouds fall over the moon," Azula said slowly, walking closer to Ty Lee. They could feel the heat rising from each other's bodies at that point. "You seem interesting. What did you do before you wound up caring for my daughter?"
"I kind of circus," Ty Lee said, the words making no sense. But Azula was undeterred.
"I see. Well, that's a much more interesting career." Azula said nothing for a moment. They were far too close and Ty Lee did not know what to do. "You look terrified."
Ty Lee examined her hands and realized just how hard they were shaking. Now she looked absolutely ridiculous. She coasted so easily through life, through any situation. But she thought she had found a weakness. Azula just obliterated the confidence of her child's caretaker.
"I'm not normally so... jumpy," Ty Lee offered, blushing again. Azula was studying her as if she was some kind of expensive bauble or intriguing painting.
Azula took Ty Lee's hand and Ty Lee blinked several times. This was already not going well. The princess studied the quavering fingertips she had in her grasp. Ty Lee watched how Azula's nails glinted in the light, and how her hands calmed slightly under the princess's warm touch. Her hands were hot in the cold night.
"I heard about you and that general," Azula said and Ty Lee's heart skipped a beat. "It's funny how fragile a career is. Mine, however, well, I was born with it."
And before Ty Lee could say anything, Azula had leaned forward and touched her lips to Ty Lee's neck. Her shoulders briefly shot up from the surprising contact, but they softened as Azula moved her crimson lips to Ty Lee's cheekbone.
Ty Lee was both glad of it and horrified. Glad of it because being guided to a stone bench by possibly the most attractive woman Ty Lee had ever met was thrilling, horrified because said woman was married and also the daughter of the Fire Lord. Why does Ty Lee get herself into these situations?
She was laid on her back before she could say anything. Yet as Azula slid up the light pink skirt, sharp fingernails brushing along the insides of Ty Lee's thighs and leaving her wet, Ty Lee jumped up, sending the princess stepping backwards quickly.
"I can't do this," Ty Lee said loudly before covering her mouth. She should not have argued. Ugh, this was going to get her exiled, executed or fired, and she did not know which was worse.
"You don't have to." Azula shrugged, although something in her eyes looked offended. Ty Lee's heart was beating out of her chest as she escaped the situation with less social grace than she was trained to use. Mostly by running back to her bedroom.
Azula looked after her and decided simply that she would have her one way or another regardless.
Hmph. Maybe Mai was right about the sexual obsession thing.
The first time Azula realized she liked girls, it was when she met her first girlfriend. Also known as a servant in the palace. She was Azula's age and while Azula never associated with people who were beneath her, she became incredibly intrigued by the girl who waited on Azula hand and foot.
It was maybe the way she curled her lip when she concentrated or the curvature of her breasts, or maybe the fact that she had to do whatever Azula said under pain of death. It evolved into a relationship when Azula decided to make it evolve into a relationship.
"I really like you," she said softly and Azula knew it was true. She did not need to be told it but she liked to be told.
But Azula for some reason felt compelled to say, "I like you too."
They kissed and touched and it was vaguely beautiful. Azula had to admit she was becoming enamored or infatuated with the girl. Lips and whispers in a nearly vacant palace.
But one day, she was gone. They did not meet at midnight as they intended to. Azula waited for her, feeling ridiculous. She waited for hours and hours, but slowly it dawned on her. And it was painful and enraging to the point that she simply wanted to burn the entire Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes to ashes. But slowly she coped.
Azula never saw her again.
Azula went to see Zurin before she went to bed. She was still flushed from attempting to fuck Ty Lee, and it not going well. But she found her daughter not asleep, of course, but reading in the dark.
"Why are you here?" Zurin looked genuinely baffled.
"Just to check on you," Azula said and it was mostly true. Zurin studied her mother closely before nodding. Azula knelt beside her and brushed her hair out of her face. "Do you like your new nanny?"
"Yes. She's really fun," Zurin said and Azula was startled. Zurin had only ever complained about anyone Azula and Mai got to take care of her.
This girl was intriguing. A soldier, performer and the only nanny Zurin had ever liked. Azula knew she had to have her regardless of what Mai or Ty Lee thought.
Azula gently tucked her daughter in, although she was never good at it, and went to sleep silently beside her wife.
Ty Lee was awake all night, staring at the ceiling and clutching a pillow to her chest.
