A/N: After writing my "Temptation" Story, I thought it might be funny to write a kind of Darth Vader- ode to cookies. Please Enjoy!

When I first looked at you, you seemed like all other cookies, just sweet and tempting. I didn't notice that you had that special ingredient. You had buttery greatness and even my super sexy mask couldn't match how perfectly round you were (even if being a round cookie makes you square). It was a match made in the Sith Bakery. Count Dooku laughed at me because he said Ginger Snaps were had a bigger kick. But I wanted chocolate and you had just that.

I ate half of you the day I brought you home. You were a dark cookie dipped in chocolate milk, perfect for a sith lord. You didn't mind that my face had a mask, because you couldn't see anything. You were a cookie, you wouldn't judge me.

I dumped Padme for you! How could you be finished by Luke! My son, the son who is searching the galaxy for all the cookies! Why???? You were the last of Java's cookies!!!

A/N- See my story "Temptation" for reference.

You could make even the greatest of all JedI fall on their knees begging to have just a taste of your Imperial greatness, so why do you go with the regular milk??? Is skim just not that good for you? Is it because I'm bald?

My own daughter told me "Lord Vader, only you can be so bald."

A/N- See movie for actual line from the script.

I get it, you don't think I can handle the power of the darkest chocolate chips. I can take a hit. Even though I loved you at the first bite, you were destined to be taken and baked to a lighter perfection.

Farewell my dear cookie!! We had such good memories of laughing a the Padawans as they ate their fudge instead of eating cookies. And listening to John Williams on their foolish I-Pods when all Sith know that listening to Pink Floyd is better. Especially Dark Side of the Cookie!

Farewell, my dearest cookie. Now I will only be able to think of you when I pass the bakery and settle for an oatmeal raison cookie.

*Sob* OW! Oops, I can't cry or I'll electrocute myself. Goodbye!!

-Fin-