chapter 2! up faster than i thought. i had to get this one out of my imagination and onto paper today, because i hate to tell you but the updates will be a little hard. But thats only because my boyfriend simply hates FMA, fanfics, and yaoi lol. (and thats hard when i live with him). but i will try my best to type up as much as possible when i have the chance so thanks in advance for your patience, hopefully you wont need much of it if everything goes as planned.

your reviews are welcomed greatfully!

My sobs had slowly drowned out against his shoulder, but my eyes continued to flood with unshed tears. His heavy cologne filled my senses until my nose was too stuffed up to work properly. We stood there for who knows how long and I started to feel bad about making him waste his time on me but I loved the fact that during it all he never once tried to pry the memories out of me. I could tell he wanted much more than to just pull the gossip of my private life out of my mouth. At least he was tying to help.

Once my tears had subsided a little more, I felt the pleasant embrace I was clinging onto pull away filling my body with emptiness. One hand wrapped over my side, leading us both to the small couch in the office. I let my coat slide from my shoulders, something I rarely did in public anymore, letting it fall against the couch around my waist. I felt a sting of coldness hit my skin as I realized that for some reason I had only put on a black tee-shirt that morning. I couldn't help but slide my hand up against his thigh subtly, I just wasn't ready for the contact to be over just yet.

I felt his gaze run over my body and down my flesh arm. I could see the disappointment in his eyes as he glanced over my forearm which was layered with scars left behind by my anger and a thin sharp blade. He gently ran his fingers over the riveted skin, as he glanced up at me once more, silently asking for an explanation.

"sorry.." I muttered, "when I get angry its hard to control." surely he knew that already.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? You don't deserve to torture your body like this.." he started.

"Its not that bad really, I usually don't feel it anyway." I threw in, hoping that would justify my reasons for mutilating my body.

"I'm not talking about just that, I mean everything. It looks like you haven't eaten anything in days, and you have kept yourself locked up in your apartment for the last month, and not once have I seen you talk to a single person since then. To be honest, I'm really worried about you. Y… your just not the same vibrant person you once were, and that scares me.." He mumbled.

"I don't know what to do about it, I have no clue how to fix it." I practically whispered, this time trying desperately to keep my emotions inside.

"What happened between you and Al.. I know something happened, he would never just walk away for nothing." He spoke, once again careful where he treaded with his words.

"Something stupid. I was too protective off him, watching over him as if he was still three years old. Once he got his body back, he just needed that bit of freedom that was denied to him all these years, but I couldn't give him that. It scared the hell out of me." Fresh tears clouded my eyes. I don't know why I started talking, but it wasn't a good idea. I wanted him to know what happened but I knew that would be hard without another mental, and physical breakdown.

"..I don't want to talk about it anymore.." I muttered.

I lifted myself up off the couch, pulling my red coat back around my shoulders. I loved the company, but at the same time I needed time alone, although I didn't see how that would help much.

"You don't already have plans for next week do you?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course I don't. Who would I have plans with?" I replied, trying not to be an ass despite my emotional state.

"Well I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner for your birthday." He asked softly.

"Why would you do that.." I asked, a blush crossing my cheeks. I didn't think anyone would ever actually want my company.

"Because you're supposed to enjoy your birthday, and I was hoping that you would let me help you enjoy it.." He said, thinking of a way to explain it.

"..sure" I answered hesitantly even though my stomach fluttered with happiness once again.

I silently walked across the room, ready for my alone time in the library, but a hand stopped me. I turned around seeing dark eyes meet mine.

"here." He said simply as he handed me my worn, and almost filled journal. I didn't notice when it had fallen out of my pocket but I knew he saw the pages upon pages of jumble filling the pages.

I made my way to the library, sitting down at a vacant table in the far corner as usual. I opened up the journal. Instantly filling the pages with more jumble. No matter what it was about, writing always freed me from the world, giving me time off from what my horrible life had become. I couldn't keep the smile from my face. That day, I couldn't find anything else to write about except the man who was stealing my heart.