A month went by and soon it was time for the holidays. Christmas was coming up and Alec was excited. He had invited Magnus to be his date to a huge Christmas party that Izzy's new boyfriend was throwing. Magnus was delighted to accept his offer. The party was in a few days and Alec was kind of nervous.

He had his hands in the pockets of his favorite black jacket, that Magnus said makes him look 'sexy and badass'. He was walking down the long street to Magnus's flat. He approached the tall building and hopped up the brick steps. He took out the key Magnus gave him and opened the door.

He had to walk up several flights of stairs because Magnus's new flat took up the entire top floor. He reached Magnus's door and knocked politely. Magnus opened it soon after and he ushered Alec inside. They kissed for a few seconds and then Alec looked around- Magnus had put up a large Christmas tree in his living room, right next to the window, which gave a beautiful view of New York City.

"Nice tree."

"Thank you darling; it was quite a pain in the ass to put up."

Alec cocked an eyebrow.

"Um, why didn't you just use magic?"

Magnus rolled his eyes.

"You take the fun out of everything."

Magnus waltzed over to the kitchen area and pulled a sheet of Christmas-themed cookies out of the oven.

"I do not." Alec grumbled before following.

Magnus blew on one of the snowman shaped cookies to cool it down, then he shoved it in Alec's pale face.

"Bite." Magnus commanded.

Alec bit the cookie.

"You should put frosting on this. It's kind of bland."

Magnus nodded thoughtfully, considering this, then he walked over to one of the tall cabinets to retrieve some. Alec sighed and crept up behind him, enclosing his arms around Magnus's middle.

"Do I get a 'thank you'? I don't always do things for free you know."

Magnus laughed and spun around in his arms to face him. Magnus looked down a tiny bit at the slightly shorter shadowhunter.

"Thank you."

Magnus gave him a kiss.

"But you did get a bite of my delicious cookie, so I think that is payment enough don't you think?"

Alec thought for a moment then nodded.

"I guess you're right."

Alec tried to move away but Magnus put his arms back in their place at Magnus's hips.

"No no no no, you're right, young Nephlim."

Magnus kissed him gently a few times, before kissing harder and deeper, moving his hands to Alec's hair.

Alec stopped him and pressed their foreheads together.

"Hey, s-slow down, I just got here." He whispered shyly, amusement detected in his voice.

Magnus just sighed.

"How am I supposed to control myself if you keep taunting me like that, with your sexy jacket and tight jeans?"

Alec blushed.

They decorated all the cookies and still had plenty of time to curl up on the couch together and watch TV.

It was Magnus's favorite TV show but Alec thought it was silly.

"I can't believe that of all the TV shows in existence, your favorite is the most… Gay, one I've ever seen." Alec said, unable to think of a better way of wording it.

Magnus just laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Those two guys, the angel and the hunter, are completely smitten with each other. I mean look, right now, this is the 7th time they've stared longingly at each other. They're practically undressing each other with their eyes, and his brother is standing right there! They're gay, trust me."

Alec paused

"I should know." He grumbled as an afterthought

Magnus grinned at Alec's observation.

"I agree, they are definitely in love, but I think the hunter, Dean, is bi. The angel Castiel is hot, I can see why Dean's interested."

Alec huffed, slightly annoyed by Magnus's obvious interest in this Castiel character.

Magnus laughed again, but this time it was at Alec's reaction.

"Alec, you know that black hair and blue eyes are my favorite combination. His eyes are insanely blue but they don't even begin to compare to yours."

Alec squirmed shyly in his seat. He wanted to return a compliment.

"Well, Dean's eyes are dazzlingly green but yours have much more… Depth and while his are plain, your green eyes are amazing."

Magnus frowned.

"No."

Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, blatantly disagreed with a compliment.

He was uncomfortable with his eyes because they were the only part of him that showed that he was a warlock (aside from his unmarked navel where his belly button should be). It was the same pair if eyes that frightened his mother so much when he was born that she hung herself in fear if the monster she gave birth to. Magnus was always sensitive about them.

It was weird for Alec to see Magnus's serious and vulnerable sides, since he was usually happy-go-lucky and flirtatious. Knowing that he is one of the only people to see this side of Magnus made his heart dance in his chest.

"Don't be like that, I think your eyes are great."

"Alec, please. You don't have to."

"But I want to." Alec said, frustrated. "I hate it when you get all self-conscious, your eyes are beautiful. I don't care if they're different, it makes them even more interesting to look at. If I could stare into your eyes all day, I would."

Magnus looked very uncomfortable.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Alec whispered.

Magnus just shook his head.

After that, Alec couldn't help but stare into Magnus's emerald eyes.

The exact moment Magnus closed his eyes, just to prevent Alec from staring at them, was when Alec lost it.

Something inside Alec just snapped; the part of him that was restricting him and making him nervous around Magnus just broke. It infuriated him that Magnus couldn't see how amazing he was. He was determined to show Magnus the truth.

Alec cupped Magnus's face with his hands and kissed him. Magnus's eyes shot open in surprise. He was so shocked that it took a couple seconds to reciprocate the kiss. Finally Alec backed away and said, with labored breaths, "Bedroom. Now." In such a commanding tone, Magnus was shocked.

Alec pulled Magnus off of the couch and grabbed his hand. He led Magnus into the bedroom; Magnus sat down on the bed with Alec next to him.

Whatever Magnus expected to happen wasn't happening just yet.

Alec leaned towards him and kissed him more gently that he had ever been kissed in his life. Their lips barely touched but the usual spark was there and magnified sevenfold. It was soft, slow, steady, everything that represented Alec.

Magnus gasped as Alec pushed him on his back and straddled his torso with his legs. He leaned his head down and kissed Magnus's neck.

"You are beautiful." Alec whispered in his ear- Magnus shivered.

"Alec, you don't-"

"Shut up."

Magnus was completely taken aback by the change in the usually shy and reserved shadow hunter. He bit his lip as Alec continued his journey across Magnus's neck. He leaned his head up to expose more of his neck, gasping when Alec found a particularly sensitive place. Alec found Magnus's pulse and bit down on the skin near it causing Magnus to hiss in pain. Alec ran his tongue over the mark soothing it. He then lifted his head to to Magnus's eye level. He made it so their lips were close enough to almost touch, but just far enough to pull away.

"We are going to do this, but you are going to keep your eyes open. You ARE beautiful and so are your eyes."

"Alec, please-"

"No."

Alec brought their lips together, muffling Magnus's response. It was pleasant but getting more and more intense after each breath.

Alec pulled away first, backing up and reaching up to pull off his dark shirt.

His alabaster skin was light and radiant, much like moon light; contrasting with the inky runes scrawled out on his skin like messy tattoos. There were days that Magnus cursed him for being a shadowhunter and having to vandalize his perfect skin with markings and scars.

The dark runes matched his messy black hair- It was the color of the midnight sky and it made his pale face contrast insanely, bringing out the blue hue of his eyes. Alec liked to grow out his bangs so they covered his eyes; Magnus thought that covering up those eyes would be a sin. Alec's eyes were beyond compare. They were the purest and deepest blue you could imagine. Mesmerizing pools of cobalt that Magnus could get lost in for hours. Though they were an innocent color, Magnus knew they could show emotions such as anger, hatred, and sadness, but also passion and lust.

To be frank, Magnus thought, Alec was perfect; flawless like an angel with the darkness of a demon, and that is the Alec whom Magnus loved unconditionally.

Alec's boldness faltered only for a second, becoming uncomfortable without his shirt; but the feeling vanished when he saw Magnus's lustful gaze.

"Now you." Said Alec in a breathy voice.

Magnus complied, thankful to draw attention away from his eyes and towards his body, which he was much more confident about. When he took off his shirt, he noticed Alec's reaction. It was different than the shy, nervous looks Alec usually gave when they were about to be… intimate. His expression was feral to say the least. He looked at Magnus in such a predatory and lustful way, Magnus finally understood why Alec was uncomfortable when Magnus looked at him like that.

Alec threw Magnus's shirt off the bed and leaned over him, his muscular arms holding him in half push-up position over Magnus's torso.

"Alec, you can't convince me that my eyes aren't… awful. You shouldn't waste your time. I've been around for hundreds of years, I know what I am. And look at you, you are perfect. Im a creature; you hunt things like me."

"Magnus Bane, you shut up right now." Alec demanded, furiously, with an uneven voice. "You are amazing. I am anything but perfect. You are not a creature. Did you know It's your fault that whenever we go on a hunt, I can't kill any warlocks? I just physically and mentally can't. Jace ends up killing them. Do you know what he says to me? He asks if I'm alright because I end up crying. I'm the one who never cries. It probably scares Jace out of his mind!" Alec's usually steady arms were shaking and his courage was deteriorating. "You can't even begin to comprehend my feelings towards you, so when you say that you don't think of yourself positively, It hurts. I love everything about you Magnus, from your flirty humor to your perfect green eyes."

Magnus lifted his head up and raised his lips to meet Alec's. Alec melted into the heated kiss, still shaking from what he just admitted to Magnus. Magnus pushed Alec's chest lightly so he would sit up. Magnus sat up as well before grabbing him and pulling him close. the warlock kissed him soundly on the lips. Magnus made a soft noise as Alec's unsteady hands found their way into Magnus's multi-colored hair.

"Alec, darling, you're shaking."

Alec didn't know why, but he was feeling nervous again. He didn't have the courage he possessed earlier and it frustrated him. He wanted to please Magnus and show him how beautiful he was, but now he just couldn't.

They stopped kissing.

"Alec, please, whats wrong? Darling, you're crying."

Alec took one hand out of Magnus's hair and touched his own cheek. it was wet and he hadn't even known he was crying.

"s-sorry." Alec stuttered, angry at himself, frustrated at his sudden shyness. Why could he just be the Alec he was a few minutes ago? Why did he have to be the shy Alec who couldn't go through with anything because he was always afraid he would mess everything up.

"Alexander?" Magnus's voice no longer sounded predatory. His eyes were no longer filled with the lust they contained before. Now, all that was there was concern.

Alec noticed how they were sitting. They were shirtless and tangled together awkwardly. Any signs of arousal between them had dissipated.

It was his fault. This is the farthest they've gone in a while and Alec ruined it. He ruined it for Magnus like he always did and he could never forgive himself. He let go of his grip on Magnus's hair and pulled away from him slowly.

"I-im sorry M-Magnus. I always do this. I always r-ruin everything."

Magnus's expression filled with alarm.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, don't even think like that. I don't expect you to be bold all the time. You're shy, thats your personality. I love you and you don't ruin everything; you're nervous and want to take things slow. thats fine, I can do slow."

Magnus kissed him gently.

"But I want you to see how b-beautiful you are to me."

Magnus seemed to relax.

"Alec, I'm sorry, I know you're trying and I appreciate that, but you don't have to."

Alec just dropped his gaze and untangled his legs from Magnus's.

"It means the world to me that you think of me like that Alexander, but its hard to see the good things about yourself when every mirror shows you your faults. My whole life I've told I was a freak and a monster, so don't be disappointed if you can't convince me."

Alec winced. No one was allowed to say those kinds of things to Magnus. Alec made a silent promise to himself that he would be the one to convince Magnus of his perfection.

"Im sorry I couldn't go through with it this time. I set you up for it and didn't follow through."

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay Alec, I don't mind."

"I mind."

"Alec."

"Lay down with me?" Alec whispered. Magnus nodded and they moved up to the head of the bed, where the pillows were now located. Magnus lay down first and Alec lay next to him. Magnus's arm was wrapped around him and it pulled him closer. Alec drifted off into a dreamless sleep feeling guilty and unsatisfied