The Space Between
Chapter 2: Sacrifices
Gia decided she hated the morning.
It had never been her favorite time of day but she now felt this seething hatred for it. Her psychiatrist, she rolled her eyes behind closed lids, had spewed some stupidity about it being because morning symbolized life and she felt lifeless...blah blah blah.
Bunch of crock like Sonny would say.
She hated it for the simple fact, that when morning came, she had to open her eyes and face one more day without the ability to walk. It would be another day that Carly wasn't with them. And one more day where she had to pretend to hate Lucky.
So she lay in her hospital bed, eyes closed, putting off waking as long as possible. If she tried hard enough she could stay like that all day.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Gia? Are you up?"
Damn. Emily.
Gia, resigned to her fate, faced the day. Opening her eyes slowly, she blinked repeatedly, ridding her eyes of the fogginess of sleep. She heard another soft knock and smiled in spite of herself. "Come in, Em."
Emily stuck her head around the door, smiling brightly at her. "Hello you." She strode through the door, arms full of bags. "I brought you entertainment."
"Yeah, I can see that." Gia sorted through the issues of Cosmo and Vogue that Emily dumped on her bed. "Did you clean out the B&N?"
Emily giggled, hopping onto the bed and dug through the pile until she found what she was looking for. She held up a copy of Tempo. "Look." She flipped to the music review section. "Check it out."
Gia glanced down at the page, a familiar name jumping up at her. "Oh my god."
"Yep." Emily smiled proudly.
"When did Juan's CD come out?" Gia asked, reading the small but positive paragraph about her friend.
"Last week." Emily smiled sadly. "He didn't really want to mention it. He thinks it's not important now."
Gia nodded. "I don't blame him, but it is a big deal. He should tell everyone." She closed the magazine, setting it aside to read later. "Carly would have made a big deal."
Emily looked away, focusing on the newly fallen snow on the trees. It was hard to believe that Christmas was just a few weeks away. "I think that's why he doesn't want to mention it. Sonny's been through a lot-"
"And something like this would give him joy for at least a second, Em."
Emily shrugged. "I suppose."
Gia studied her best friend closely. "Speaking of joy, how's Zander?" She noticed Emily draw into herself and suppressed a groan. When the heck were these two ever going to get it together? "What now?"
Nothing.
"Em?"
Emily finally met Gia's eyes and she was surprised to see tears shining in their depths. "He loves me." She clarified quickly.
Gia swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and wiped at her eyes. "Well, jeez. You gave me a heart attack. Of course he loves you." She watched as Emily bit her lip and glanced at her several times. "What Em?"
"Lucky loves you, too."
"He doesn't. He just feels responsible for me. That's all."
"Gia, you know that's not true."
She refused to agree or acknowledge what Emily was saying. It didn't matter anymore anyway. She and Lucky were over. She'd made sure of that.
"You're the reason this happened."
Silence filled the room as the words echoed in the stillness.
It seemed that the air was leaving the room and he couldn't breathe. "Gia, I'm -"
"Sorry? What? Is that what you were going to say? Don't bother. I don't want or need to hear it." She didn't move an inch, afraid that if she did, her resolve would weaken, and she had to do this. For his sake.
"Why are you doing this?"
She forced her eyes to remain on the view outside. Gia knew if she looked into his eyes, if she saw the hurt there, she would never do what she needed to do. She'd spent all night since Tony had informed her of her paralysis thinking of how she was going to deal with not being the woman she once was. She knew Lucky deserved better than a crippled former blackmailer.
"Gia, baby. Talk to me."
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes briefly, gathering all her strength and she stared directly into his face. "Why? I'm lying in this hospital because of you, and you want to know WHY I don't want to be with you? To see you?"
She threw the plastic carafe, startling him. "Get out!"
"Gia..."
"I never want to see you again. Do you understand that? You. You cost me my legs. I don't want to ever have anything to do with you, do you get that?"
Lucky was rooted to the spot. His brain screamed at him to go, but his heart, his heart told him she was lying.
Gia choked back a sob. He was being stubborn as always.
Well, Gia go for the gold.
She lifted her gaze to his eyes. "You are dead to me."
"Why did you do it, Gia?" Emily asked softly. "Do you really believe that this is Lucky's fault?"
"God no." Gia sobbed. "No. I just couldn't let him see me this way."
"But he loves you, no matter what."
"I know that he cares-"
"No, Gia. He loves you. This is killing him."
Gia wiped at her cheeks roughly. "No. Being with me would have killed him a little every day. I didn't want him to go through that."
Emily squeezed her hand gently forcing Gia to look at her. "But that's not your choice to make, Gia. It's Lucky's."
"He's too noble. Too good. Too damn Lucky to do what would be best for him."
Emily sighed. "I want you to do me a favor and think about something, okay? Think about Sonny and Carly. Sonny's lost the person he loves most in this world. He doesn't know when she's coming back, if she ever will. If she were to come back, do you think for even one second he'd care whether or not she could walk?"
Gia shook her head. "It's not the same. Carly is the love of Sonny's life."
Emily smiled sadly. "And you are the love of Lucky's life. So why don't you do Carly proud and fight for what you want? Let him in, Gia, before it's too late."
Zander paused at the doorway, studying the back of Mike's head. He closed the door quietly, walking silently to the overstuffed chair by the window and laid a hand on Mike's shoulder.
"Hey."
Mike started. "Hey. You're home early." He tried to smile and failed miserably.
"Mike. You can be sad. It's okay. You loved her, we all did."
It had been only days since Tammy's funeral and Mike was barely sleeping or eating. The last time Zander had seen him like this was when he'd first met Mike. When Carly had dropped him straight in the middle of the craziness she called a life.
Zander closed his eyes against the sharp pain that brought him. He missed Carly so much. It was getting harder and harder every day to look at Sonny. He seemed to be retreating further and further into some dark place that no one but Michael could reach.
"Zander."
He turned to glance at Mike. "Yeah, pops?"
"How's Mikey doing?"
"He's doing well, I guess. With Carly in the hospital, he has a lot of questions, but Laura and Leticia have been great with him. He spends a lot of time with them and Lulu."
"And Michael?"
"As best as can be expected. He misses her."
"She is his reason for living."
Zander agreed silently. That simple statement said it all. Sonny was just functioning, holding on to some hope that Carly would come back to them. It seemed to apply for everyone else, too. Their lives had been at a standstill since that night.
Carly was what held them together. Without her, Zander wasn't sure what would happen to their family and he was scared. He'd lost a family once, and for some reason fate had sent him to Port Charles. He'd been lucky enough find love and friendship here.
"I should have known better."
Mike glanced over at Zander. "What did you say?"
Zander smiled sadly. "Nothing, pops. You eat yet?"
"No. I'm not hungry. Actually I'm a little tired so I'll just take a catnap." Mike patted Zander's shoulder as he passed him. Zander's eyes followed the older man until he'd disappeared into the other room and closed the door. Hearing the click of the lock, he sank into the chair, burying his face in his hands.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They should all be gathered at Sonny and Carly penthouse trying to get out of helping Carly plan for Christmas. Sonny and Mike would be arguing over how to cook a Christmas goose or turkey or whatever. Luke would be going on about what a hassle holidays were. The gang would all be laughing and making jokes.
The knock on the door brought his head up and he wiped at his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he rose from the chair, going to the door. He pulled it open to see Nikolas on the other side.
"Hey, man."
"Hi Zander."
Zander moved aside to let Nik in. "What's up?"
Nik shrugged out of his coat, looking around the room slowly. "Where's Mike?"
"Getting some rest, or at least pretending to anyway. What brings you by?"
Nik glanced at him. "You."
"Me?"
Nik sighed. "I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I know how close you are to Sonny and Carly." Nik sat on the edge of the couch, staring out the window. "I see the pain everyone's in, and I don't know how to help. So I thought maybe if I could just, I don't know, be here to listen, I could be helping in some way."
Zander nodded, falling into the armchair. "I appreciate it, Nik."
"Okay. Then tell me truth. How are you doing?"
Zander shrugged, keeping his eyes firmly on the floor. "I don't know. It's been hard for everyone." He paused, meeting Nik's stare. "It hurts to watch Sonny in so much pain, Nik. To know that the only person that could help him is most likely gone." He tightly screwed his eyes shut, cutting off the tears. "Carly's gone."
Nik shuddered in a deep breath, guilt eating away at him. "I think it's my fault."
Nik had spoken so softly that Zander was unsure he'd heard correctly. "What?"
"I said it was my fault."
"How the hell you figure that?"
Nik stood abruptly, standing at the window that overlooked Cortland Street. He'd had these suspicions running around in his head for weeks. "I think my Grandmother had something to do with what happened." He glanced at Zander. "And I need your help to prove it."
"Madam."
Helena raised her head to glare at her servant. "Yes?" She tapped her nails impatiently against the table. She hated to wait and he'd kept her doing just that for over an hour. She was going to make sure he remembered who was in charge.
"He has arrived."
Her fingers stopped their drumming. "Very well. Send him in." She glanced at her reflection in the mirror across the room, smoothing her hair into place. The door opened and she smiled widely. "You're late."
Jason surveyed the room before meeting her eyes. "Get over it." He stood staring at her. "What do you want from me, Helena?"
Helena eyes him coquettishly. "I want many things from you, darling. But just for now, I want to know what you're planning on doing to finish off your precious Caroline and the rest of those insufferable peasants she calls family."
Jason's smile was brittle. "Leave the Spencers to me."
He rubbed at the throbbing in his temples, taking a sip from the glass he held. The bourbon burned his throat, numbing the pain in his head some. His gaze fell on the half-empty bottle on the bar. It would take a lot more than that to help him forget for the night.
Johnny stepped through the door, pausing slightly as he took in Sonny's state. You could feel the pain radiating from him. "Sonny."
Sonny turned to look at his right hand man. "What do you need Johnny?" Sonny rose, heading to the bar to refresh his drink.
Johnny held in a sigh. It was useless to try to stop him from drinking. He needed to escape to something. Johnny made a mental note to tell Graciella to water down the alcohol. Waving the folder in his hands, he answered Sonny. "We have a problem."
He handed the folder to Sonny. "Someone's been making inquiries into buying Pier 52."
Sonny read the report carefully. Two attempts had been made to buy the Pier from the Morales family. "Did you speak with Eduardo?"
"Yes. He says that you had discussed the possibility of buying the Pier from him before. Anyway, he turned down both offers."
Sonny nodded. "Make him an offer."
"That's not the end of it, Sonny." He waited until he had Sonny's full attention. "After he declined to accept the second offer, one of Mr. Morales' shipments was destroyed. It was ruled an accidental fire, but he doesn't buy it. Neither do I."
"A warning."
"That's what we think. Morales wants to talk with you at your convenience." Johnny eyed Sonny apologetically. "This isn't something I can take care of, Sonny."
Sonny rubbed his neck, trying to ease the tension away. He wasn't in a frame of mind to make decisions that affected his business. All he could think of was Carly. All he wanted was his wife. He walked to window that looked out at his warehouse. He could make out workers unloading some shipments. He knew that people were counting on him and Carly would be the first to tell him to do whatever he needed to do.
"Set it up."
Johnny nodded, staring at Sonny's rigid back. "When?"
"As soon as possible." Sonny sipped his drink, his eyes never leaving the window. He heard Johnny heading to the door. "I need you to do something else for me, Johnny."
Johnny paused, his hand on the doorknob. He waited silently.
Sonny finally turned to look at him. "I need you to find Jason." Sonny rubbed his forehead with his palm. "With everything that's happened I forgot to get word to him about Carly. He would want to know."
Johnny smiled slightly. He knew that Jason would run home the minute he found out. "It's already being taken care of, Sonny. I got Benny looking for him. We'll find him."
Johnny jumped when the door burst open and Michael came hurtling into the room. Michael stopped abruptly, not expecting his Daddy to be home. "Daddy!" He ran into his father's open arms, backpack thrown to the floor without a thought, almost ramming into Johnny on the way. Johnny moved slightly, smiling as he watched Sonny and Michael. This was the only time Sonny was anything like himself. "Hey there, my man." Johnny gave Michael a high-five. "How's it going, buddy?"
"Hi Johnny! We made cards in school today!"
"That's awesome, buddy."
"Hey, " Sonny spoke cheerfully, "Why don't you go get the card so I can see it?"
"Okay!"
"Okay!" Sonny let his son down and watched him as he picked up his backpack and headed toward the couch. He turned back to Johnny, ignoring the sad look in his friend's eyes. He didn't want anyone's pity. "Do what we talked about as soon as you can."
Johnny nodded. "I'm on it." He made his way out, waving a good-bye to Michael. Reaching the door, he glanced at Sonny who stood at the window. He seemed to take a deep breath, his shoulders straightening before he started to walk toward his son. Shaking his head and praying that it all worked out, Johnny left father and son alone.
Michael sat on the couch, seeing his Uncle Johnny from the corner of his eye. Uncle Johnny was always watching his Daddy with that look on his face. He shoved papers and books around inside his pack, looking for the pink paper.
"You found it yet, buddy?" He heard his Daddy ask as he sat down next to him.
"I think so." He pulled the now wrinkled paper out from the bottom of his pack and with a grin handed it to his father. It was a picture of him, his Mommy, and his Daddy in front of a big Christmas tree. "Here."
Michael's smile fell when he saw the sad look on Sonny's face. "Daddy?"
Sonny tried to respond, but his mind stayed on the drawing. His eyes fixed on the stick figure with the blonde hair. Carly loved Christmas. It was her favorite holiday. He remembered when he first returned to Port Charles how she had the penthouse decked out for the holidays. Sonny glanced around the bare, cold room. Christmas was only a few days away.
"Daddy? Did I do something wrong?"
His son's teary voice shook him out of his stupor and he looked at Michael, seeing the tears in his eyes. "No, Mr. Man. You didn't do anything wrong. Daddy is just having a hard day." He hugged his son to his side. "I just miss your Momma a lot."
Michael snuggled into Sonny. "Me too. But she'll be back soon."
Surprised at Michael confident declaration, Sonny stared at the four-year-old. "How do you know that, buddy?"
"Cause she promised, Daddy."
Sonny patted Michael's head softly. "Momma is still pretty sick, Mike." He didn't want Michael's little heart to break. "She needs time to get better."
Michael stared up at his Daddy. "She promised, Daddy, and Mommy always keeps her promises. She said we would have a great Christmas, 'member?"
Sonny smiled warmly, remembering that conversation she'd had with them all. How they all would have to pitch in and make it a perfect Christmas. She'd warned Luke about not showing up and breaking Lulu's heart, and had threatened Sonny and Johnny with pain if the Business interrupted them on Christmas.
The kids referred to her as the Christmas Nazi after that. Sonny chuckled, the sound taking him and Michael by surprise. He glanced down at his son whose smile was a mile wide now. "You know what, buddy?" He took Michael's hand as he picked up their coats. "Your Momma said she wanted a perfect Christmas, so we're going to do that for her. Come on."
"Barbara Jean."
Bobbie glanced away from the doorway toward Luke then back again. Tony had asked her to stay out of his way while they monitored Carly's vital signs. Bobbie felt tears and blinked them away. She needed to be strong for Lucas, for Michael and Sonny and most of all for Carly."
She felt Luke's hands on her shoulder. "Hey there baby."
"Hey." She placed her hands over his. "They're checking her out."
Luke nodded his eyes on his niece. "I can see that. Listen Barbara Jean, why don't you and I go out for a walk. It'll do you some good."
"I don't want to leave her."
"Sweetheart, you need to take care of yourself. You know, Caroline wouldn't want you to hurt this way, Barbara." He smoothed his hand down her hair and bent down to whisper in her ear. "You don't need to be strong all the time, little sister."
Bobbie nodded, sniffing as she and Luke walked away from Carly's room.
Tony checked his watch, his other hand feeling for Carly's pulse. He placed her hand at her side, catching the gleam of the wedding ring she wore. Sonny had put it back on her hand as soon as he was allowed.
It still astounded him how much Sonny seemed to love this woman that he himself had loathed at one time. Looking at her now, he couldn't remember how all the hate and pain they'd caused each other had started. It didn't even matter anymore. All he wanted and hoped for was that the sister his son loved so dearly would come back.
Sighing, he looked over at Amy, who was fiddling with the IV. "She seems to be stable."
Amy nodded, smoothing out the blanket that covered Carly. "She does." She glanced at him quickly then back at Carly. "Tony?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think Carly will ever wake up?" She and this girl had never seen eye to eye. Hell, on a good day they hated each other. But the world seemed so off without Carly in it. Amy may have despised her but Carly made many people happy.
Tony rubbed his neck. "I don't know, Amy. Carly's vitals are all normal. The swelling in her head has gone down substantially. Her body is healing rapidly. There's nothing that would indicate her state." He met Amy's eyes. "From what I can see, for whatever reason, Carly simply doesn't want to wake up."
He touched the warm hand and squeezed, hoping that wherever Carly was she could feel everyone's concern and love. He motioned to Amy and they left, closing the door behind them.
The light filtering through the window fell on Carly's prone body. Rapid beeping filled the silence in the room, the heart monitor machine picking up speed. The woman on the bed moved her head slightly, her hand twitching at her side. The beeping intensified and it seemed as if the air in the room grew heavier.
Carly opened her eyes abruptly...
