Thor was held captive by his body, muscles refusing to move as he tried to comprehend the scene before him. His brother, his precious brother Loki, was there before him wide-eyed, blood splattered and shaking. His skin was beyond pale, with a worrying gray blue tinge to it.
More unnervingly than that was the expression on his face though. The ghost of a laugh graced his lips and he looked more at peace than Thor had seen him since that day, but that peace was undercut with such anguish that it hurt to see, the noise that slipped past his lips barely served to represent even a tiny part of the emotions he was feeling.
Loki span around, his green eyes met Thors blue, and even then, afraid, dazed and broken, he was still the most beautiful creature Thor had ever seen.
It felt like he tipped backwards in slow motion.
Each moment he was falling wave upon wave of pain and guilt slammed into Thor, and try as he might, not even he could slow down time so as to be quick enough to catch his little brother and lay him gently to rest on the floor. Instead Loki hit in a haphazard sprawl, legs twisting under him, head snapping back on the impact.
Kneeling over him Thor realized he had no idea what to do. He went to gently lift Lokis body onto the bed at least but as he did the body in his arms turned boneless, hanging lifelessly. Thinking back to the way Lokis head hit the floor his immediate reaction was he'd snapped his brothers neck by moving him.
Gently setting him down amongst the pillows Thor looked down in helplessness. He could protect Loki from anything he liked to think, apart from himself, that was a whole other matter.
As was the blood.
He became once more aware of it by stepping in it.
Glancing down to the ragged mess on Lokis thigh Thor gagged. He wasn't normally squeamish but this… This was something else. It was like the meeting of a thousand train tracks. All crossing one another until you could barely tell which line went where. How did you bandage something like that? It was chaos truly. Checking once more that he was breathing, if very shallowly, he retreated to the bathroom to find the first aid kit that had lain unused under the sink ever since they bought it.
Back at Lokis bed side Thor said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening that he would stay asleep for this and started to bathe the cuts. First with lukewarm water and the softest towel he could find, then antiseptic. Thor could feel it stinging in the tiny cut he had where he'd picked one of his finger nails and could barely imagine how bad it would feel on all those interwoven wounds that graced his brother.
Finally as the bleeding eased up Thor could see the full extent of the damage. The fresh cuts stood out brightest against the milky skin of Lokis thigh, but somehow it was the others that more to see. So many raised scars ran along the exposed flesh, some old and white, some still pink, others only barely healed. You could clearly track the progression of how the body heals itself, you had an example of every stage. Bitterly Thor cursed himself for not knowing about this sooner. For not helping. For not doing…something, anything, that would have helped.
Finally setting the gauze against the injuries and wrapping it Thor felt he could sit down and let himself react. Pulling the chair from Lokis desk over so he could sit next to the pillows at the headboard rather than his brothers feet, Thor sat down and the tears that streamed down his face wouldn't stop. Gently he traced his hand down his brothers jaw, wondering whatever happened to the child he'd been.
Poking out from the collar of his shirt Thor spied the purple of a bruise. Hesitantly he unbuttoned the two top buttons, exposing more of the bruise, it was interwoven with yellow and green. It seemed older than it should for something acquired only around six hours earlier. Closing his eyes and begging forgiveness he un-did the rest of the buttons and spread the shirt wide.
His sob caught in his throat as he choked.
Bruises and the occasional strangely shaped scar marred his brothers torso, standing out on his brothers skin like black in on a tablecloth. Quietly recovering his younger brother Thor sat back in a state of absolute shock. He'd never felt so lost.
Loki woke shivering, he shifted and found the cotton of his duvet glued to his legs and back, peeling away in a most hideous sensation as he went to rise from his prone position to one of sitting up. Peering curiously at Thor sitting, apparently asleep, beside his bed he tried to remember quite how he'd ended up on top of his bed with his brother seemingly keeping guard as he slept. He leant forward to adjust himself and couldn't suppress the pained squeak that slipped from his lips.
Everything hurt. Everywhere. Especially his leg…
Everything slammed into him at once, skipping dinner again, the rainbows, the blood, Thor. Thor. He knew. He could barely maintain his expression of blank nonchalance as Thor woke from his nap and started at Loki having moved. He was fussing about like a mother chicken, clucking over this and that. Loki wasn't listening, didn't Thor realize he had a headache?
"Thanks for… this," Loki gestured to himself, "but we should go to bed, I'll uh, see you tomorrow."
"No."
"No?"
"No." No wasn't a word Loki normally associated with his brother. Usually he was happy to keep people happy. "I'm not leaving you until you've at least had something to drink. You've lost a lot of fluids, haven't eaten, passed out. If you think you're getting away without having at least something you're crazy."
"I must be crazy, how could I not be? If I wasn't I wouldn't do this would I?"
"I think if you were crazy, you wouldn't have asked how you could not be." Thor rose, leaving a momentarily stunned Loki sitting in bed, cuddling Percibal, his ever faithful teddybear, to his side as Thor left and headed down the stairs. "Water, please…" Loki called weakly after him, not entirely sure his opinion mattered right this minute.
Sure enough it hadn't, Thor had returned and grinning presented him with a steaming mug.
"When we were little we used to make it for each other when one of us was sick, remember?"
Loki slowly nodded, inhaling deeply the rich smell of the spiced tea, "Thankyou" he said in barely a whisper, unsure as to how to react, his heart was clenching uncomfortably in his chest. Why would Thor have cared enough to remember this? They rarely spoke of their past, or anything anymore really. Thor had even remembered his favourite mug, the light green one with his name messily painted on it in a forest shade by Thor from when they were younger, Thor had a similar one from Loki dodne in red and yellow. It definitely wasn't the black and green striped mug their mother seemed to think he liked so much.
He'd never admit that at some of his lowest times he'd sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to make himself their tea. It was comforting to him, a relic of a better time full of naïve innocence and sunshine.
Sipping slowly he surveyed Thor over his mug. "It's good," he said.
Thor only smiled softly in return, waiting for him finish his drink so he could tuck him in Loki imagined. Setting the quickly emptied mug down on the bedside table he turned back to his brother, unsure as quite where to go from here. Slowly, so as not to aggravate his pains further, he rose from his bed to locate something he could sleep in and get to the bathroom. Thors eyes were still fixed on his bed, even after he'd moved, following his gaze Loki realized it was the blood that had captured his bothers attention. Dried patches of brown spattered over the sheets really wasn't the best of looks, in some places you could still see wetness glistening in the dim light. Loki grimaced.
"I'll go get the spare sheets and stick these in the wash then go to-"
"No." For the second time in less than an hour his brother surprised him, "Just stay in mine, we can keep each others nightmares away, as we used to."
Loki couldn't think, for all his careful words, of a single thing to say, so simply looked down and nodded.
Climbing in next to Thor could be worse Loki thought, his tightly curled body had been pulled up against his brothers chest, as they struggled to both fit under the duvet, an arm flung here, a leg there. It felt comfortable, warm.
For the first time in what felt like a decade, Loki fell asleep feeling relaxed.
"No, no! Don't touch him!"
"There's nothing you can do little boy"
"Don't touch him!"
"Be silent"
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
"I said silence! Unless you want to take his place"
Both woke in the darkness to the sound of Lokis hoarse screaming.
Tears tumbled down his face openly. How could he possibly have thought being in a different bed would have made a difference? Looking up and meeting Thors eyes, Loki was shocked to see them full of unshed tears.
"Loki…"
A/N: Thankyou so so much for your reviews, they mean so much3 I will try my darndest to keep my writing worthy of them!
For anyone who fancies some spiced tea Thor makes it dumping 2tsp sugar, 1tsp cinnamon, 1/3tsp allspice, 1/4tsp nutmeg, 1/4tsp ginger, 2 black cloves, a crushed cardamom pod, milk and black tea into a large mug, blasting in the microwave for 2 minutes then stirring.
Loki makes his the same way, but with oatly milk, 1tsp vanilla extract, twice as much cardamon and half as much sugar.
