Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight saga.
A/N: This story was originally supposed to be a oneshot. I really wanted to write about the bite but others said I should continue and so here it is. What I'm going to do is then backtrack to where Eclipse left off. This is set a couple months before the bite. I hope it isn't confusing. Bella is still human here and she hasn't married Edward yet.
Changed
A couple months before
The water was freezing as it trickled over my naked body. I shivered as it pounded against my skin. It was irrationally cold for a shower, but strangely, I was enjoying every second of it.
My eyes were closed as I felt every droplet inch over my body. It was a sinful pleasure that I had gotten accustomed to over the past few days. Feeling the cold water caress every inch of my body carelessly helped me to get over the frustration I felt.
Frustration didn't do the feeling justice. The word that would best describe my dilemma was need.
When I did this, I would close my eyes and imagine the water as my Edward's touch. Both were just as soft and fluid in their movements and both were cold or warm based on my touch. Perhaps the change of cold to warm in the shower wasn't very sensual, but the way I could heat up Edward with my skin could be.
I smiled at the thought of this.
The image in my head began to grow more vivid and I imagined him with me. My Greek god letting his cold lips move longingly over my neck with his body melded to mine. I could almost feel his tongue as he touched me in every way I had always wanted him to. The boundaries were broken, shattered, smashed, and discarded in this fantasy.
The boundaries…
This thought snapped me back to reality as I suddenly got a violent image of Edward ripping out part of my neck with his teeth, blood spurting out of my wound like a sick cartoon.
I opened my eyes instantly at this and found myself staring at the boring white tiles of my shower. Gazing at a small part where all four corners met, I began to giggle.
It was a strange reaction and I don't know why I laughed at the thought of my slaughter. The only conclusion that I could draw from it was that it was an absurd thought. It was hard to believe that my Edward would do such a thing. And not only that, but it was the one thing I craved for more than anything.
I wanted Edward to give in and change me.
This change would be symbolism in that he wanted me as his forever. That he was willing to stand beside me for the rest of eternity.
Why he thought that marriage could symbolize this was beyond me. But that was our compromise.
Frowning at this thought, I began to reach for my razor. In the attempt however, I managed to slip over myself, being as graceful as I am, and pulled the whole countertop with me into the shower.
As I winced at the throbbing pain in my backside I watched as the razor began to rattle in the drain. I looked at it curiously trying to decipher why there was red fading from its edge as the water washed it. Standing up and then looking at my hand made me realize why.
Blood was gushing out of my index finger. Though I couldn't feel it and the cut was small, it leaked out like I had just slit my finger with a knife.
My first reaction came from my stomach as it twisted with disgust. However, I continued to stare at it intently as thoughts began to flood my mind. Or perhaps one thought rather than many.
I would be a vampire soon and my finger was bleeding a feast.
I let one eyebrow rise in contemplation as I continued to stare it down. Slowly then, I brought my finger up to my mouth to take in a taste.
Instantly, my gag reflex kicked in and I was on the verge of vomiting in my shower, coughing and gagging so loudly that Charlie could probably even hear.
Embarrassed by myself, I quickly shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. I hurried out and into my room only to slam the door shut.
I turned around to look onto the most beautiful being I had ever seen. My breath caught in my throat as I took him in. Splayed across my bed, Edward laid leisurely waiting for me. Even though we had only been apart for an hour and a half, I still couldn't get over being in his presence all over again.
He was looking at me a little confused, a worry line crossing his brow. Even with this though, a small smirk played his face. He must have heard my coughing. I couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up at this realization. Finally, my angel spoke.
"Breath, Bella."
I inhaled heavily as I felt a giddy smile fall onto my face. I was trying so hard to stay poised and serious but I was a terrible actress. Why must this boy always resort me to mush?
"Edward…" I could feel my eyes moistening as I looked at him. I loved him so much.
The confusion was no longer evident on his face. It had been replaced with a grave look. I then noticed that his eyes were onyx. He needed to feed.
"You're hurt." His jaw clenched as he said this.
Instantly, he appeared at my side holding up my bleeding finger. He held my hand gently as he studied the gash. Looking at my wound and down at my towel made me realize that I was bleeding everywhere. My once ivory colored towel was splashed with a huge stain of red.
"Oh my god! I'm sorry Edward." I tried to yank my hand from his grasp to speedily retreat back to the bathroom. In this way I could clean the wound and hide my feast from him.
"No." He breathed.
This was all he said as he held my hand firmly. His coal eyes were searing into me making my stomach turn with his gaze. Strangely however, he still didn't look like a monster even with his eyes the color they were. I could see no lust for blood, only concern.
I looked into those eyes trying to find why he would not let me go, as thirsty as he was. As I questioned this he began to continue.
"Bella, I can handle this. Please trust me so I can finally trust myself." He said this calmly.
His comment took me aback simply because I knew his worst fear was to hurt me accidentally. Edward looked away seeing my reaction and knew also that this was very unlike him.
What could have brought on this change?
"I'm sorry. Perhaps I should go. Just please love, take care of that." He motioned at my cut and pecked me on the cheek. His scent left me in a small daze.
He turned away and began for my window. Even though he didn't say it, I knew what he was thinking. Edward was succumbing to the doubts he had always had about our relationship. He was rationalizing how dangerous he was to me and giving in to his fears instead of embracing his new way of thinking.
But I had liked the change in his thinking. It meant that the boundaries were shifting. Perhaps this change was because of our compromise?
Edward was quick but I was at least quick enough to stop him. I latched onto his arm soon enough to allow myself to force my way around him and embrace him. Though my towel was beginning to slip from my skin, I didn't care.
"Don't leave me." I begged him.
I looked up into his eyes to only find love beyond those dark pools of hunger. At that moment I then decided to do something dangerous. I brought my gushing finger up to Edward's face and touched my finger to his lower lip. He didn't breathe as I slid my blood over the soft skin, tracing the line his lips made. His hand then grasped my wrist as I finished my motion.
His eyes were deep and unreadable but the tension in his face was unmistakable. I could sense his fear and how much he struggled with it.
But I could also see how much he wanted to conquer it.
"You have no idea how much I trust you. Don't you understand? If I didn't trust you then our compromise wouldn't exist." I persuaded him.
I knew that I had hit the nail on the head seeing his reaction to my words. He wanted to ready himself for our compromise and found this opportunity as a training exercise in some sense. Not only that but because of our compromise, I was the one he'd be marrying and I could tell that he wanted so much to let his love override his lust for blood.
Mind over matter.
He remained quiet for a short while in contemplation, looking into my eyes until I finally saw his tongue escape to taste the blood I had left.
Edward then gently took my hand once again and began to trace it only to land on the cut. At this, he took my hand and brought my index finger that had finally stopped bleeding to his lips. He pressed them gently against the wound in a kiss and then looked into my eyes.
I smiled at him but was brought back to reality quickly. I couldn't fight the hot that entered my cheeks as I realized that my towel had completely fallen off.
I was in front of my fiancé, naked as the day I was born. But I couldn't find it in myself to cover up, especially as I felt his hand find the small of my back.
Edward's cold touch sent shivers through me as my breathing began to harden. His eyes never left mine even as he pulled his face in for a kiss, cupping my chin with his free hand. Edward's lips were so gentle and sincere as they melded with mine. He held this kiss long enough for me to be reduced to a puddle about three times over.
Finally he pulled away and quicker than I could blink; the towel was magically around me as were Edward's arms. He then smiled at me, holding me tight.
"You need to dress. I'm afraid that you may destroy everything I've learned as a gentleman with that body of yours." He gave me the crooked smile that I loved so much.
My face was redder than it had ever been. Embarrassment was finally setting in but I couldn't help but look into his onyx eyes and smile goofily.
I decided to change the subject in hopes of forgetting my sheepishness.
"And after I dress, I need you to tell me how my speech is because it needs to be perfect for tomorrow," I then grimaced and continued, "Charlie may beat you to killing me when I tell him that I'm marrying you if I don't say this right."
The crooked smile then became a grin instantly.
A/N: How did I do? I kept revising it and then finally decided to stop. From here I want to follow what I think could happen in Breaking Dawn. Please review!!
