Gaaahhh it was too long so I had to chop it off again!
Ahhh forgive me! ;;A;; or Not... kesesese I shall still be awesome
When he opened his eyes for the third time that day he had no idea where he was. His eyes felt puffy and burned and there was a strange discomfort on his neck. He sat and looked around trying to see but the room was in complete darkness. He moved to get out of the bed and it was then he noticed the weight on the other side of the bed. He leaned over the body carefully trying to recognize who the person was that laid beside him. A smell of earth and spice; it was Antonio!
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL" He yelped jumping off the bed immediately. His feet met something somewhat cushiony on the floor which made him slip and fall on his bottom. Antonio woke up startled and immediately turned on the lamp on the night stand by his side of the bed. He smiled as he saw his Lovi was finally awake.
"Roma! You're awake! Im so happy, I thought you'd never…"
"Shut up! Lovino interrupted angrily. "Shut the hell up! What the fuck did you do to me! Why… where the hell am I!" He looked horrified, repulsed , he looked like he was in a lot of pain.
Antonio got and tried to approach him but Lovino moved away from him.
"Don't come any closer you… you bastard! What the hell did you to me! Answer me damn it!" His eyes were already letting the tears flow down his cheeks.
"Romano… I… I didn't do anything I promise… I'd never do anything to hurt you" Spain was really worried now, he'd seen his beloved child cried before, but never like this, so desperate, with so much pain. He tried to approach again. Romano kicked at him but he managed to dodge.
"I told you not to come any closer! And I don't fucking believe you! Why the hell was I in bed with… with you and…" He seemed to notice he was still dressed.
"Fully clothed?" Antonio ventured. Lovino couldn't care less though.
"S-so what if I'm dressed… you could still have… done something… and besides… you sent your stupid friend to… to kidnap me and bring me to you to this… this…" He looked around, it was a hotel room, an expensive one but still a hotel room.
He looked even more angry but Antonio took advantage oh his distraction to approach and hold him tightly. Gilbert had told him about what had happened in his house and even though he was sometimes dense about certain things, he knew exactly what his Lovi must be thinking.
Lovino jumped in surprise when he felt Antonio's hold. "Let me go! Let me go bastard! Don't touch me! Let me go damn it!" He squirmed and kicked and even head butted the older man but he just wouldn't let go. He was scared and angry and hurt. He felt something warm and humid land on his shoulder. Was… was the bastard… crying!
"I'm sorry Romano… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry…" Antonio was sobbing quietly but still holding Lovino firmly.
"W-what the hell are you crying for?… j-just let me go already" Lovino muttered softly.
"I can't Lovi… I can't let you go… If I do… If I do just for just a little bit you'll run away, and I can't let you do that. I can't let you run away from me ever again…"
Romano couldn't help ask, he didn't know what the man was talking about.
"What are you talking about?… I've never…" But he remembered. It had been a long long while ago, when he was still a child. He had always known Spain didn't like him, Spain liked his little brother better just like everyone else. But he had tried to please his boss Spain. He tried to be useful around, tried to be like Feliciano… but he wasn't good enough. And then… and then he'd heard Spain talking to his potato friend Prussia and his perverted friend France about how Ita-chan was so cute and how he wished he had Ita-chan living with him, and even suggest to give Romano over to France. Little Romano was so sad and angry that Spain didn't really like him and so he left the tomato bastard's house and ran, ran, ran until his little legs couldn't carry him anymore.
He was so tired he fell asleep behind some bushes by the road so that stupid boss Spain wouldn't be able to find him if he came looking for him. He didn't want to be found… he didn't want Spain to find him… no, no, he didn't want Spain to find him and scoop him in his arms and kiss him on the top of his head and say sorry Lovi, I don't like Ita-chan, I like you Lovi, I like you the best…
Lovino started crying even more, he never heard Spain say such a thing, the next thing he remembered was waking up to a wet bed and his stupid boss laughing like an idiot over his little accident. He tried to get away from Antonio again but the stupid man was stronger than him.
"The last time you ran away… I almost lost you… forever…" Spain finished weekly. Romano stopped squirming and jerking.
"What… what did you say?"
"When… when I found out you'd left the house, I though you had gone to the tomato garden because you always like the tomato garden best, you liked taking siestas there and so at first I didn't worry… I had to prepare your dinner anyway. But then… then I called you. Romano! Romano dinner is ready! Ven a comer! You didn't come. I went out to get you. Romano! Siesta time is over! Ven aqui mi tomatito…" His voice trailed off a little and he sobbed a few times before he continued.
"I looked for you in the garden, under the orange tree, I even looked for you under the rocks, but I couldn't find you. Romano! Romano! I called and called but you never answered… I ran out looking for you. I went to Rodri's house but they told me you didn't go there and Eli-chan even scolded me for losing you and Ita-chan started crying that you were lost and you could be hurt and hungry and He won't have any pasta! He cried.
I left Rodri's house and went around asking every one if they had seen you. I'm looking for Lovi! I would say, Have you seen him? He is small, and cute and he pouts all the time, he has a cute little curl sticking out from his hair and he has the cutest eyes. He is rude but he doesn't really mean it when he calls me bastard, he loves tomatoes and sweets, especially cherry pie. He is not so good with cleaning chores or painting or trade but he tries his hardest. Sometimes he wets the bed too…but… but el es mi pequeño Tesoro, he is my sweet little tomato and I need to find him before anything bad can happen to him… because I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to him… so have you seen him?"
Romano had relaxed in Antonio's arms, he had no idea the man had done all that… and to be honest wasn't so sure he believed him… yet. Antonio seemed lost in his memories, his head still buried in Lovino's neckline and his soft sobbing unceasing. The Italian let him continue with his story, he didn't want to interrupt him…and he wanted to know what happened next…
"…But no one could tell me where you were… I even thought to go all the way the Francis's house fearing he might have kidnapped you… but his was to far and I wanted to be near in case you came back or someone had news of your whereabouts… and besides Francis is my friend so he wouldn't take the one I loved most from me.
When I was coming back to the house it was dark already and I could barely see the path, then my horse tripped over some roots and I fell off among some bushes and that's when I saw small bundle of white and green and I knew it was you. Lovi! Lovi! I called and I scrambled my way to your tiny body. Lovi I found you! I said. I was so relieved… but then you wouldn't wake up. I scooped you up in my arms even though it hurt from the fall… I think I broke a bone or something… but I was more worried about you. So I got up and put you on the horse and hurried back home."
Lovino didn't remember that part… but that must be because he was out cold.
"And then I carried you in my arms again to the room and you said you wanted me to like you more than Ita-chan… You were sleeping so I thought you might be having a bad dream, so I kissed your head like I always do and told you I'm sorry Lovi, I don't like Ita-chan, I like you Lovi, I like you the best. You smiled a little in your dream so I smiled too like I always do when you smile and tugged you safe in bed and watched over you all night so you wouldn't run away when you woke up and because I wanted to see you open your eyes just the way you always do every day when you wake up… so please Lovi, please don't run away again…"
Lovino didn't know… he wasn't sure he could believe Antonio's words. But he sounded so sincere and besides how would he know that he had wanted him to say he liked him more than his little brother in the exact way he remembered? But then… but then…
"I'm sorry I left you alone today Lovi…" The man said softly as if on cue. Lovino stiffened in his embrace waiting for an explanation.
"I know I should have just stayed home with you… but today was so special… even baked your favorite pie for you and burned my hand because I forgot to use mittens to take it out of the oven." Romano rolled his eyes up upon hearing this… only Spain would do such a dumb thing. "And I didn't forget what day it is so I also got you chocolates so you knew I remembered… did you see the way I wrapped the box? It was cute wasn't it? I even made one ribbon curl thinking about your hair."
The Italian remember seeing the curl and thinking the same and how only Antonio could have thought to do something like that. The Spanish man was dense, but he was always careful about the little details when it came to him. He couldn't help blushing and he noticed he wasn't crying anymore, but Antonio was, he was still crying softly and holding him with the same strength even as his hole body trembled.
"A…Anto…"
/"Because I wanted to fuck you… that's all I ever wanted from you…"/
"No!… I'm not gonna fall for it again! Damn it!" He gathered all the strength he could muster and pushed the Spaniard away. Antonio hardly had time to react. Lovino got up and sprinted towards the door, but he wasn't fast enough; arms of steel wrapped around him before he could even get a hold of the door knob.
"Damn it Antonio! Just let me go already! You don't even love me! Everything was a lie… you… you just want to… you just want to…" He couldn't bring himself to say it because he didn't want it to be true. He didn't want one single bit of that nightmare to be true. He wanted Antonio to love him, he wanted the stupid tomato bastard to love him and him only, he wanted it so bad it hurt.
"But it isn't Lovi… no… Lovino, Lovino Vargas, Italia Romano…" This got the Italian's attention. How many times had he heard Antonio call him by his full name? One? Two?
"Listen to me, none of it has ever been a lie. Yes, I admit that at some point I did like Veneziano better, but that was before I got to know you, the beautiful and sweet person you are. I meant it back then when I said I liked you the best. I meant every I love you I have ever told you, And I mean it now more than ever; I. Love. You. I love you more than anything or anyone in the entire world. I love you more than tomatoes or paella. I love you more than my life. If … if I didn't have you… I wouldn't know what to do… I would go completely insane. If you ever left my side… I would die."
Lovino was still crying but he felt somewhat warm inside. He stopped trying to get away from Antonio but only because he was tired from struggling so hard. He did manage to turn around and face the bastard, just because he wanted to yell it in his face to… to leave him alone… and that he didn't believe him one word he'd said. however what left his mouth wasn't an insult or some curse word, but a question he'd always asked himself.
"Why?" Why do you love me so much Antonio? What have I ever done to deserve such love from you?
Antonio opened his -beautiful- green eyes and looked straight into his hazel ones. He looked confused, as if the sole idea of there being any reason not to love his Lovi couldn't even be possible.
"Why wouldn't I Lovino? What reason could I possibly have not to love you?"
He was honest, Lovino could see it in his eyes yet he refused to let it go like that.
"But there are reasons! Many many reasons España!"
Antonio raised his brow as if what Lovino was saying was pure nonsense.
"I'm… I… I've always been mean and rude to you. I always hit you and push you away damn it. I'm barely any good at cleaning or cooking, I can't paint or anything like Feliciano. I say mean things to you and your friends all the time. Fuck, I always complain about your food and make you sleep on the floor or the sofa. I… I… never tell you I…I never even… I'm just no good damn it! I'm…I'm… I'm just a pebble in your shoe!… you should hate me! You should! You should have kicked me out of your life a while ago… yet you haven't… but I can't understand why… and I can only believe that is because… because in truth you…"
"Because I love you with all my heart Romano" Antonio said cupping the younger's face in his hands. "You're mean and rude but you don't mean what you say. You hit me and push me away but I know you do it because you get embarrassed easily. You always try your best at everything and don't give up, you're stubborn like that. You complain about my food but I always know you like it and you even help me clean up after and make coffee for me even though you don't have to. I know that's Lovi's way of saying 'thank you for the food'…"
He paused for a moment clearing Lovino's eyes of a few tears with his thumb even though they kept falling.
"…You might not say it aloud, but you do many things that let me know you do care about me. Like when you let me fall asleep in your lap and even stroke my hair sometimes, or the way you close your beautiful eyes and listen when I play the guitar. I can also see it on the way you carefully tend out tomatoes ever day and how you let me hug you when you sleep. Or when you take care of Tama when I'm not home even though you're scared of turtles. Even the way you look at me with these hazel eyes of yours. You know why I bought you chocolates today? You might think it's because that's what people always give out on a day like this, and that might be part of the reason, but the main part is because chocolate reminds me of you…"
Last part! This time for real I promise! Well whatcha waiting for? Move on!
