A/N – Oh what the hey! Screw the vote, I like this story!! I will continue the poll because I will take a challenge of another story, but I don't want to give this one up. Too many brilliant ideas are with me on this one.
Just don't expect fast updates!! I am personally very happy this got the most reviews!
I liked this story and I knew I was right! Plus, it makes a change from all the dark stuff people ask me to write, I can be comedic too you know!
Disclaimer: …It sucks.
BPOV
"Is that a cow? Do I really hear a cow?" I mumbled, grumpily. I wasn't happy in the morning and I certainly wasn't happy to be woken up by a loud 'Moo!'
"Yes, superwoman, that is in fact a cow. I like cows. They give me milk. Should we call her daisy? I like daisy. Daisy the cow. Daisy will need a man though. Imagine how unhappy she is in the barn, she needs a bull to keep her satisfied, unsatisfied cows don't produce good milk. And Emmett Swan needs good milk-"
"Emmett! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP!" I was cut of by another loud 'MOO!' I growled and walked out of the pod and the tent.
I followed the noise to where this 'cow' was. It turns out to be a milk store somewhere down the street. Who in the world has a store that just sells milks?! It was unsanitary. Anyway, there was a loud speaker screaming the moos. I grabbed the nearest thing, which was a bucket, and hit the speaker hard. The moo went a bit fuzzy until it finally stopped, I sighed in relief.
I walked back like a zombie. Damn, it must have been early. I stopped dead in my tracks when I got a wolf-whistle. I looked down and saw that I was in rather skimpy pyjamas, great. I turned to see a group of Native American's winking at me. They all had long black hair and just jeans on which revealed very toned chests. One of them waved at me. I smiled and started too waved but I turned it into the finger and walked off back to the tent.
Emmett was there in a flash.
"Isabella Swan! Did you just kill Daisy?! Where's my cow! I had a bull name Pedro and everything for her! I NEED MILK!" He screamed, shaking my shoulders a bit.
"Don't worry. Daisy turned out to be a speaker for a milk store," I said sarcastically as Emmett's eyes lit up.
"Milk…store! Full completely of milk?! Don't lie to me Isabella." Emmett said, shocked.
"I promise, Penny pointer, I saw nothing but milk," I told him truthfully, but he was already speeding down the dirt road, I ran out of the tent.
"Don't get too much!" I called after him but he was already gone. I shook my head and went back into the tent to get changed. I picked out a pair of skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. I put my red hoodie over it and my famous red converse on. I rolled the sleeves of my hoodie up.
I made some cereal and sat outside, letting the breeze blow my hair out of my face as I ate the lucky charms, the marshmallow melting in my mouth. I liked the rainbows most. When I finished I put my bowl in the wash bucket and came back out.
My jaw dropped when I saw Emmett. He had two whole trolley's full of milk bottles. Literally full to brim of milk.
"Emmett! What the hell is that?" I almost shrieked my eyes wide. How the hell were we going to get through that in a month?!
"Daisy got busy?" He said it like a question. Penny boy, pixie, Rose, Jasper, and half of the other people were laughing at this.
"Let me guess, she was just so satisfied with Pedro that she had a whole load ready that she just had to give to her matchmaker, Emmett Paul Swan." I hissed at him, taking a bottle, and sipping it anyway. Damn, Daisy made some good milk.
"You likin' the milk, Superwoman?" Emmett winked smugly, taking his own bottle and downing it in one gulp. Suddenly my milk issues were gone.
"Whatever, I still think your freaking crazy," I told him, sipping my milk, "By the way, you might wanna get dressed, the ladies at spot 302 are starting to stare at you," I told him, pointing to the group of old ladies, all eying Emmett's arms. Gross.
"They like the E-master?" He grinned, before taking his white shirt of and throwing it on the chair. My jaw dropped again. The women cheered and Emmett flexed. I did not need to see that in the morning. I heard the old women gasp. I visibly shuddered; they were doing this over my brother.
I looked at Rose and saw that she was eying my brother hungrily. I looked over at Pixie and saw that she was nodding her head in appreciation.
"Oh god," I groaned, taking a large gulp of my milk.
"SUPERWOMAN TAKE YOUR TOP OFF!" One of the Native American perverts shouted. Oh, for the love of milk, you would think after the finger there's no hope. I looked at Emmett and saw him with a death glare on his face. So did Penny Boy apparently.
"Let me handle this, I like to have fun too you know. I am your sister," I winked as I sauntered over, swinging my hips slightly with my milk in one hand. I walked to the one that called me.
"Hi," I purred to him, smiling innocently.
"Well, hello," he said smugly, smirking. My mind was glaring.
"So…you want me to take my top off," I said pulling at the end of my hoodie.
The man nodded his head vigorously. I pulled my hand back to make it look like I was beginning to pull it off when I right hooked him. He fell to the ground with a huge bang and groaned. I poured the rest of my milk over him.
"Any of you guys want to see my chest?" I asked, overly sweet, holding up my milk carton.
"N-no miss, we're fine thank you," The youngest one stuttered. I smirked at him.
I walked back to find my brother but found he was sitting round our campfire with Rose, Jasper, Penny boy and Pixie, they all had cartons of milk and were laughing at something. I sat in the spare seat next to Pixie and Emmett.
"So, yeah, all Mike did was pluck up the courage to ask Bella to be his date to prom and then she goes on about this whole story about how she had to buy a special type of pepper for her salsa contest, which was in Canada somewhere. Apparently that was the first thing that came to her mind," Emmett and the rest laughed while I blushed horribly at one of my first excuses ever made. "Isn't that right, Superwoman?" Emmett grinned and gave me thumbs up.
"Superwoman?" Penny boy and Pixie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, here we go…" I muttered as Emmett, Rose, and Jasper laughed at me.
"Well," Emmett started, "Bells and I were building our tent and I had put a nail down loosely so I could do the other one, and Bella being Bella had to come and remove that nail, sending the tent flying south," Emmett gasped out from laughing.
"And," Rose continued, "These two, went running after it and then Emmett decides to put Bella on his shoulders to have a better chance of catching it. However, Bella fell off his shoulder, and flew a few feet higher in the air, grabbing the tent and falling back into Emmett's arms. It was quite amazing actually," Rose giggled. Penny boy and Pixie laughed, as well as Emmett and Jasper. I shrunk in my chair.
"That is the funniest thing ever!" Pixie laughed, running her hands through her spiky hair.
"You haven't even heard the stories of Emmett, trust me." I grinned deviously. "What one first? Hm…okay how about the story of what happened at the store?" I raised an eyebrow as Emmett's eyes widened.
The rest of the group looked interested now. Pixie even leaned forward a bit. I liked her. She had my type of energy.
"Isabella," He warned. I laughed and picked up another bottle of milk, opening the carton and taking a sip. Daisy is a damn good cow. I am thinking Pedro was a good change for her.
"Man, Pedro is a genius," I sighed, taking another sip before launching into my story, "Well; we were going to buy some junk, as some of you may know," I looked at Edward and he laughed softly, "At the supermarket, Emmett went a little…wild. The boy likes his food," I shrugged, whilst Emmett rubbed his belly in admiration. "So, we had probably up to about a trolley each, mine less full than his. So we were just getting some pick and mix for then and this lady was going to get the last of the chocolate covered raisins…" I trailed off to laugh a little bit before getting to the punch line, "And, Emmett literally dive bombs for the sweet, sending the lady into her trolley and rolling back down the cereal isle," I was laughing hard now, head thrown back, tears in eyes kind of laugh.
"Never mind. That is the funniest story I've ever heard. Apart from when Edward here got his first piano," Pixie giggled, clapping her hands as she laughed.
"Alice," Penny Boy growled, glaring at her furiously. Damn, must be a good story.
"Ah, come on Edward, be a sport! It's a good story!" she giggled once more before finishing and starting the story, "Okay, so we were in Toy's R Us and I went to look at the Barbies, naturally. So when I finish finding all the outfits I wanted to buy them, I find Edward on one of those toy pianos. You know the ones with the microphone and the mini chair. He was only about five with his strange, wild bronze hair; he was so cute! So, he was playing this weird tune and singing to a little girl with her mom, the little girl was blushing like crazy, it was adorable." She laughed, ruffling her brother's hair. He just glared at her. "Aw, come on Edward, what did the song go like again? I know you know it." Alice urged as Edward sighed. Alice started to hum the sweet tune as Edward's voice picked up.
I don't know why I'm doing this
I don't really know you…
But I know I like this piano right here
And this is the song my heart is telling me to do...
My sister is always playing Barbies
So here I am singing to a girl who is so much more…
And I feel that I am the lucky one here
Cause' I'm with a pretty girl in a toy store…
By this point, Alice was on the floor, Emmett was spitting out milk over everyone, and Rose and Jasper were leaning on each other for support. I laughed along with everyone, but I couldn't help but find it sweet.
"So, baby Penny was a ladies man, Eh?" Emmett winked at Edward.
"What can I say? I always did have a way of dazzling people," Edward smiled, glancing at me a little during that sentence.
Oh, don't you worry, I am fully aware of your dazzling abilities.
"So, Bella, what did you do too those perv's over there?" Jasper asked, raising an eyebrow, catching everyone's attention again.
"Oh you know, I found their leader and right hooked him, before pouring Daisy's goods all over him; what a waste of good milk." I sighed, taking a large gulp of my carton.
"And you weren't worried?" Jasper asked, full of brotherly concern that came naturally to all brothers. Emmett just laughed.
"Are you serious? Please. Isabella was one of the toughest girls back in high school. She was the one that gave Mike Newton a black eye and a missing tooth because he tried to touch her behind. She's very personal about her 'privates'" Emmett scoffed.
"I am so like that too, people in high school used to stare at me all the time. It was so unnerving." Rose shuddered as I nodded my head at her. I mean she was gorgeous, it made sense. Me, on the other hand, I was in a raging hormonal school.
"Yeah, I had to fight the guys off with a stick. But most of them didn't come near anyway. Rosalie held her own," Jasper sighed, shaking his head slowly. "She beat up the toughest guy in school, bigger than Emmett. Not in the muscle sense, but he was rather obese and he used that against the opponent." Jasper told us. I decided I liked Rosalie and Jasper too.
I looked up to see the sun was beginning to go down. Had we really just sat and shared stories all day? Wow, time sure flies when you're making fun.
"Does anyone want dinner?" Alice asked, "I'm starving," Right on cue, my stomach roared.
"Like bro like sis!" Emmett cheered, high fiving me.
"I'll come with you, Alice," I smiled at her as she and I got up.
We walked in silence for a few minutes before Alice asked a question, grinning.
"So it was you Edward met last night?"
"Yeah…why?" I asked, shrugging a little. Her grin got a little wider.
"Well…it's just my dear brother told me how that he met a brown eyed beauty outside the supermarket and that she had a hearty appetite too, and I was thinking oh my god he's marrying an obese but its not its you! And you are certainly not obese, I think that's another thing you and Emmett have in common you must burn fat easily. Because, no offence, you eat a lot." She giggled.
"You can talk! Penny boy told me how you brought a whole suitcase full of crap!" I laughed and gave a little shove to the right.
"You know, I get the whole superwoman thing now, but what is with Penny Boy and Penny Pointer?" Alice asked, scrunching her face up.
"Well, Emmett and I were playing a guessing game and I thought of a penny. After a while he got it and he came here and Emmett got a glance at Edward and shouted out something about a penny because of his bronze hair, and the nickname stuck to him and to Edward." I shrugged, the situation seemed normal enough.
"Can I have a nickname?" Alice asked hopefully. I thought about it before smiling.
"I'm just going to call you Tink." I smiled teasingly as she pushed me into the pizza place and laughed.
"Hello, my name is Felix, what can I get you ladies?" Felix asked, suggestively. I looked at Alice and raised an eyebrow while she shuddered.
"We'll get 10 pizzas please, plain ones," Alice told the man, waving him off dismissively.
"Ten pizzas? Last time I checked there was only six of us." I asked
"Yes, I know. But if you think about it, Emmett counts as two people. And the other 2 are just spares." Alice shrugged, grabbing the pizzas and throwing a note towards Felix and leaving. I took a pile off Alice as we walked back to the group.
"We got Pizza!" Alice yelled over the pizza boxes that were covering our heads.
"And you got the wrong tent." A voice shrilled. I pulled the pizzas down to see a couple with nothing on. Nothing. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened as I took in the sight. Alice let out a small squeak/yelp.
"But we would be glad to help you ladies," The man purred at us. I looked at Alice and gulped.
"Ah, no thank you, I really got to get back to my…my tent." I stuttered out and began to walk away, dragging Alice back with me.
"Well…maybe another time," The female grinned and winked at us.
"Uh…" I managed to get out before I was walking fast down the road, Alice sprinting ahead of me.
Oh, the guys were going to just eat this up….
A/N – Ah, that was fun to write =)
Just reminding you, don't expect fast updates.
The poll will still be up so you can choose another story you want me to do, because I will definitely continue this one. If it makes me laugh I hope it does to you too
Love you's
PP97 x
