Thanks for reading/favorit-ing/following this story! I'm really happy that I chose to go back and expand on everything. When I first started the story, I was so filled with ideas and plotlines and I wanted to write like other fanfics I had read. But looking back, I realized it really wasn't how I would write. I'm a little more wordy ;) so if you liked the other version, I'm sorry to have dropped that. If you're still with me or new, thanks for reading!


It's easier than I could have imagined to get everyone on board with me leaving on an extended trip with Damon. Jeremy and Bonnie are tied up in each other, still reeling from his recent death and resurrection. I don't think they've been apart for more than an hour since the night that Liz shot him and Bonnie saved him, and their only concern is each other. I'm not surprised, though, since the biggest thing I've learned in the last few years is that grief and pain seem to bind all of us closer and closer, and I'm glad they have each other. Caroline was no less than appalled that I was leaving, but she got over it within a couple of minutes. I know she still doesn't particularly care for Damon, but I suspect that she also knows I've had feelings for him for a while. I guess she's giving me time to figure it out. And then there's Alaric. Poor Alaric has been through his own hell, having his body abducted by Klaus and then watching Jenna turn into a vampire and subsequently be killed. I guess we should all be used to the supernatural happenings in our lives that come and go so quickly that they leave our heads reeling, but all of the recent events are too much for me. Stefan leaving was the last straw. Even though I hate leaving Jeremy and my friends behind, I just can't stay in Mystic Falls right now. Damon is the only thing that takes my mind off the grief and pain anymore. And everyone seems ok with it because they've seen the change in Damon lately. He's different. I have no doubt that the darkness he battles still lies beneath the surface, that he's not done fighting the demons and quieting the predator that will always be inside of him. But I know that he's been trying so hard. He may never see himself as the hero or the good guy, but he has changed. I've seen it, and even if he were to fall off course, I know he'll always be there for me, and I want to do the same for him.

We leave town on a Sunday morning, the few bags I brought crammed into the back of his Camaro. The early summer sun is already beating into the leather seats, and we only go a few miles before turning on the air conditioning full blast. For the first hour, we don't talk. I sit quietly in the passenger seat, feet flat on the floor, hands folded in my lap, staring straight ahead. I keep expecting my nerves to overwhelm me and the universe to reprimand me for agreeing to this trip. There's no way this is safe or right. There are so many ways this could go wrong. But just as soon as those thoughts come, they fly from my mind. The only thing I really feel as we drive south away from Mystic Falls is pure freedom. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd been and how I was walking on eggshells, trying not to offend anyone. Because if I'm really being honest with myself, a large part of why I haven't pursued anything more with Damon is fear. Every day that we sat together in silence, I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, to feel his warmth. Every time we stood in front of each other to say goodnight, I wanted to stretch up on my toes and press my lips to his. I almost asked him to hold me once or twice, just to know the comfort of it, but I always felt in the back of my mind like my friends would freak out if they thought my feelings were catching up to his, which is such a stupid reason to deny myself what I want. But now, here we are, going away together, and they're all ok with it. Still, even though our friends agreed that this trip could be a good thing, I had been so sure that the ever-present sense of guilt and shame would appear and break through the peace. Apparently, I had been wrong, but that doesn't stop me from breathing a little deeper and savoring the freedom I'm feeling.

Once I realize that the anxiety and nerves won't come after me, I relax and tuck my legs beneath my body and roll down the window to stick my arm out, eyes closed and hair whipping around my face. It's something I've loved doing since I was a little girl. I breathe a little deeper, even though with every breath, the open window sucks the air away from me. I lean my head back against the seat and smile at the way it makes me feel. Like a woman, fully alive and fiercely wild. Flying and able to do anything I set my mind to, unafraid of the world. And still, like a child, redeemed to the awestruck, star-chasing, little girl I used to be. It's wonderful, to feel these versions of myself that I thought were buried away forever. But here they are, rising up to the surface.

"Enjoying yourself?" Damon's voice slides its way into my daydreams, not an interruption but a welcome addition. It's tender, and I wonder if he had felt the same fear that I was feeling only moments ago. I hear a softness in his tone that makes me turn and meet his eyes. When I do, he's giving me a gentle smile, and I know that he can taste the freedom in the air like I can. I pull my arm inside and shift to turn and face him, curling up with my arms wrapped around my knees, hugging them to my chest.

"Yeah," I say through my own smile. "I'm already glad we're on this trip."

"Well, good. I was hoping you would be. Where do you want to go first?"

"Wait, I thought this was your trip," I laugh. He's already gone off course. Typical. "Why are you asking me?"

"Courtesy," he smirks. "I do have plans for us, but I'm more than happy to accommodate you and your desires, being the gentleman that I am." Cocky.

"Well…" It seems like an impossible question to answer only because there are so many possibilities. I haven't spent much time outside of Mystic Falls. The obvious places come to mind, New York and Los Angeles, but I want something more personal to start with. After a moment, I come up with an idea that I'm excited about. "I want to see places that are important to you," I tell him. "The places you've lived, your history."

I watch as doubt flickers across his face. My words have completely caught him off guard, and it's written all over his face. I feel compelled to clarify. "Sometimes, I just feel like I know so much and so little about you all at the same time," I explain. "I know you now. Who you are. Who you're becoming. But I don't know anything about your history, except for what revolves around Katherine. Where you came from. What you love. What you would do if you weren't stuck in Mystic Falls saving my life every five minutes. I want to start things over between us and that starts with finding out more about you."

If he was caught off guard before, he's completely knocked over by this confession. He's just staring ahead, and his mouth is hanging open in surprise. Poor Damon. He's never let himself believe that anyone could care for him or want to know his heart. At some point he might have, but he's been passed over too many times before. By Katherine. By Stefan. And by me. My heart hurts to think that I've done the same to him that Katherine has. I want to tell him I'm sorry, but he quickly regains his composure and sets his face, and I instantly miss the more vulnerable side of him.

"Starting over, huh?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me and smirks so I know I can't take anything he says after that seriously. "Does that mean you're finally starting to trust me?"

I sigh, "Damon, you know that I trust you and that I have for a long time." I sit up and reach out to rest my hand on the bare skin of his arm. "Look at how many times you've saved my life. I can't help but trust you. With Stefan gone, some days it feels like you're all I have."

His demeanor changes and his features harden slightly, and I pull my hand away, "You know, you had me before Stefan was gone. I don't have to just be a rebound for you," he scowls, and I know I said the wrong thing.

"No, Damon, it's not like that at all. You're not a rebound-"

"Of course," he snaps. "Because you'll never feel that way about me. Even with Stefan gone, you can't let go enough to admit that there's something between us. God, how stupid was I to think that you would change your mind."

"No! Damon, I know." I put my hand back on his arm. "I know there's something between us."

"An understanding?" he says with humor and malice all at once, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"No, not an understanding," I roll my eyes at him. He would throw that back in my face, even now. I look him in the eyes, having to remind myself that his vampire instincts will keep the car from careening off the road while I make my speech. If there's one thing I need him to understand right now, it's this, "Listen to me. I do care about you. I don't know how to start from here, but I know that you're not a rebound. I don't need someone to fuss about me and distract me from the realities of life. I someone who cares about me. Someone who will take care of me. Someone I trust, who really knows me and loves me. And I know that that person is you, and it's always been you. You've always been there for me. I need you. I just don't know what that looks like from here on out, but that's a huge part of why I agreed to this trip. You know me so well, and I just want to do the same for you. I want to know your heart. I want to try for...something more. Do you trust me?"

He stares ahead without answering for a moment. I know I haven't been very fair to him over the last couple of years. I've led him on and pulled away from him. I've given him hope and then shattered his heart. I don't deserve his love. I want to be with him, and my feelings for him get stronger every day. I just have to trust that it's not too late for me to be admitting all of this to him.

His eyes are on the road again. "Damon," I whisper, "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you." I pause when my voice starts to break from the emotions that threaten to spill out, and I take a deep breath. "I'm so sorry for putting you through everything." I close my eyes and shake my head to clear it. When I do, a few strays tears escape and slide down my cheeks. I lift my eyes, wishing it didn't feel like he was shutting me out right now. "I've been so selfish. I don't deserve you," he whips his head to lock eyes with me, confusion and surprise in his face, though I can't pinpoint why, "but I would love to have a fresh start with you. Can you forgive me?" I let out a shaky breath, and wipe my eyes. I'm embarrassed, not only for this emotional outpour but also for the way I've treated him. Why he ever fought so hard to keep me alive is beyond me at the moment.

He takes a deep breath, and I wonder if it's really this difficult for him to make the decision to forgive me or if he's just playing with me. When he finally meets my eyes again, I can see that there was a real struggle happening in his head. He's always so strong and guarded that I find myself forgetting how painful it can be for him to share pieces of himself, even with me.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, his voice cuts through the silence that sits heavy in the space between us. "Of course," he sighs. "Of course I forgive you," and just like that, the heaviness is gone from his voice. He really does love me, forgiving everything at the drop of a hat. "This trip will be good for us. No distractions, no one else's opinions, just us. I'm sorry for getting frustrated. Sometimes I forget how young you are and how quickly you were thrown into this supernatural life. There's no way you could have known how wrong you would be choosing Stefan over me," he says with a wink. Thankful to be back on good terms with him so soon, I let out a small giggle.

He quickly gets back on topic, "So where are we going first?"

"I actually think I know the perfect place," I say with a smile. "Last time we went, the circumstances weren't right because I wasn't sure I could trust you, but I think the time is right now. What do you think?"

He smiles, throws his head back, and belts out with a surprisingly smooth voice, "Ohh Georgia, lead me through your heartlands. I need to see them one more time before I'm gone."

I let out a laugh that rises up and spills out the joy bubbling up inside of me and put my arm back out the window, letting the summer air flow through my fingers.