"Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't." -Rikki Rogers

Song Suggestion: Disparate Youth by Santigold

Chapter Two: Training Begins

"Third jumper, Cal!" The man shouts backwards to a man with a clipboard, who quickly writes it down.

Smiling I watch from the side as each Initiate jumps, fortunately Willa made the decision to jump as well. She comes down twentieth.

"Dauntless born with Lauren, Transfers with me!" The man who was calling name says and the group splits up. I count the number of transfers as we begin walking, thirteen. Not including Willa and I, the numbers are composed of only Candor and Erudite. Why does that feel like more than usual?

Four Erudites and seven Candors- I guess there is something brave about honesty.

I wonder when I'll be able to change out of my torn up Amity outfit as we follow the man down a blue lit hallway. "My name is Four, I work in the Control room for most of the year but will be training initiates for the next few weeks."

Like the number? I'm not the only one who wanted a fresh start it seems, does that mean Four was a transfer too? At least I hope his parents didn't name him that…

"Down here is the Pit. It will be where you spend most of your free time here in Dauntless. Not that you'll get much during Initiation." We emerge out of the hallway to a narrow and rocky path overlooking a giant room with loud crowds of people mingling among the floor. It can't even be past four and drinks are already being passed around in the general spirit of Dauntless rowdiness.

We follow Four down the narrow pathway and into a hallway where the sudden appearance of crashing water echoes off the walls. "And this is the Chasm. Stay away from it unless you have a death wish." I see Four pat the railing of the Chasm's bridge almost in respect.

"Do people really commit suicide here?" An Erudite girl asks.

Four backs away from the Chasm, "At least a few a year."

"Not very brave." A Candor girl comments.

Four doesn't respond to the girl, and I can't see his face to read what he is thinking. Luckily, we don't stick around the Chasm for very long. I'm glad for that- it reeks of death. Not literally but in a spiritual sense, almost as if I can just imagine the figures of Dauntless jumping off the sides. It doesn't settle well in my stomach.

As we continue walking, I marvel at the idea of ever learning my way around here. That is when we arrive at two metal doors. Four pushes them open to reveal a simple room decorated in beds, chests sitting at the front of each. The room is all grey; the only lighting is the fluorescent light bulbs that hang from the ceiling. "Not like home, huh?" Someone says as they jab at my back.

I turn back expecting another look resembling the one from the Erudite boy on the roof, but instead I'm met with a smiling Erudite girl.

"Huh?" I say but she just redirects her attention to Four.

"This will be your rooming quarters during your Initiation. Boys and girls." A few whistle and jeer at this but I'm too preoccupied by fear to notice who. "You'll love the bathrooms." And then it is like the room has gone dark. I trail behind Four in a trance as I see the bathrooms to be just as expected- open. The showerheads assembled in a slightly tiled off section in the middle of the room with not even stalls for the toilets.

"Seriously?" I find myself whispering.

"I'm sure we will get use to it," Someone whispers to me in a comforting tone, I look to see Willa. But even the peace I find in her general cheer isn't enough for me.

"Get changed and then, we're burning your clothes." Four says as he leaves us. We notice a stack of clothes sitting on one of the beds. When I grab a shirt and pair of pants my size, I leave the crowd to analyze the room before finding comfort in a bed on the far side of the wall. There are definitely more then thirteen beds in here. Guess they were expecting more people. Willa takes the bed next to mine and we both begin to change in silence.

Making sure to pull my pants up before removing my skirt, I'm watchful as I change. The air is too cold on my exposed skin and my nerves are making me nauseous.

"I thought Amity were, free loving and all. Why are you so modest?" A Candor girl, whose name I believe is Connie, asks.

"Never was into the sort of thing." I say shrugging, happy to be safely changed and not longer in torn clothes. No longer sticking out like a highlighter is nice as well.

"Well you know why I'm modest." Willa says, we chuckle and I silently thank her for switching the attention off me. I wonder if she did it on purpose, she is Abnegation born.

When going to burn our clothes I take one last breath of home, the fabric smelling of mom's flowers and the open fields. It doesn't hurt as much as I suspected to throw it into the flames. For once I allow the negative memories of Amity to overtake the few good ones- it makes forgetting about those memories easier. The smell of earth fills the air as the bright fabrics burn.

After the burning we head down to the cafeteria where most of Dauntless are already eating. The others find spots quickly; I eventually find an empty spot by a group of Dauntless. I sit down on my own and notice them glance over at me. I try not to imagine there laughter is caused by me. Dauntless and Amity aren't enemies- but they don't like each other either. I knew before I transferred that it'd be hard to rid myself of the Amity transfer image.

I look at the food in front of me and place a chunk of meat onto my plate, Amity never had a lot of meat, but I find my mouth watering at the sight. It's enough to forget that I'm sitting all by myself.

"You know if it is bad to be an Abnegation transfer, it must be even worse to have your only friend be from Amity." Willa whispers in my ear as she sits down next to me.

Friend? I smile and chuckle at that, relieved she is sitting next to me. Suddenly comforted, I look around the cafeteria for the other Initiates. The Dauntless born are integrated into the Dauntless and it seems for the most part the Erudite sit with the Erudite and the Candor with Candor, until I see the Erudite girl who had talked to me before leave the other Erudites and head in our direction. She lands heavily into the sit across from us with a smile.

"Hello." She says. "Cal and Willa right?"

I don't ask how she knows and instead nod. "You?" I ask.

"Thea, and I don't mean to intrude but I just really hate Harvey Douglas… and Cleo." She glances at the three Erudites. "They only came here because they weren't good enough back home." She says rolling her eyes.

"This is your home now, Initiates!" A deep voice says from behind Thea. We all look up at Eric as he stands towering over Cleo. It isn't even that he is really tall, but he takes advantage of the fact she is seating and that he is standing. "Home sweet home." He glances at Willa and I before snickering and walking off to sit alone, making the Dauntless beside us even flinch as he goes.

"Of course he is sitting alone, asshat." I mutter, Thea laughing and Willa looking appalled.

Thea forks the burger in front of her. "Don't let him get to you. Amity are constantly outside. You are already more in shape for physical activity than the three kids who spent their childhoods reading books." Thea says to me, gesturing over to the Erudite on the other side of the room.

I smile at her reassurance and think to the nights spent preparing for Dauntless, it wasn't much but I like to think it made me stronger.

She then turns, glancing at Willa, I remember vaguely talk of unease between the two factions and wonder what the two are thinking. Political Issues are scarcely discussed in Amity but I do know that Erudite was making moves towards power- and that is just from what I've heard at school.

"And to be selfless- that's pretty brave." Thea says and Willa nods as if the two have an understanding, Faction before blood after all. We are all Dauntless now.

Watching the group of Candor as I eat, I see Connie sitting nearly on top of the boy next to her. It wasn't in a disgusting, too touchy-touchy sort of way. It was almost sweet, the idea that they came here together as a couple.

"The food must be strange for you two, a lot more spices and flavor then Abnegation are use to. And I thought Amity weren't much of meat eaters." Thea says, smiling towards me.

I shrug, giving a closed mouth smile as I continue chewing my burger. "They aren't."

We continue eating and by the time we are ready to leave the crowd has gotten excited looking up to a group of people standing above us, Eric included.

"Who are they?" Willa asks.

"The leaders." Thea answers. "The one is the middle is Max, he is the main leader of Dauntless."

"Do you think we can leave?" Willa asks.

"I'll go with you, I'm exhausted." I say and we get up.

Thea sighs, "You guys are going to sleep already?"

"Sorry," I say, frowning.

"No it's fine, I'll just go bother the Candors now. Night!" She says, getting up to walk over to the table of Candor.

"She's not like most Erudite is she, much more loose." I comment to Willa.

"I guess that's why she left." Willa says in agreement.

We empty the leftovers from our plate and leave, the first of the Intiates to do so. Maybe not the best for fitting in, but my exhaustion overpowers my need to not seem out of place. And it seems like I've already made two friends. That's more than I can say about Amity, considering my mom was my best friend.

I realize half way back to the dorms that Willa is following me and suddenly pray that I'm going the right way. I let out a sigh in relief when we reach the dorm. Maybe finding my way around the compound won't be as bad as I'd imagined.

When we enter the empty room, I realize in joy that the empty room means an empty bathroom. "Does this means I can shower in peace?" I ask myself more than Willa.

"Go for it." She says, laughing.

I move quickly, unsure when the rest will get back. I don't know Willa too well but for some reason the tiny girl was less than intimidating, the idea of showering around her didn't bother me. I undress quickly, grabbing a towel and taking a quick shower. The icy temperature of the water helping me move quickly. By the time I'm done and dressed, the first of the others arrive.

I move past them to my bed, sastified that I had the time to shower on my own. Who knows how much time I'll get to do that in the future.

How am I ever supposed to make it through this?

I just have to.

Can't be thinking negatively already. Trying to feel my head with more positive thoughts, I head to my bed, nestling in to rest.

Whatever the morning brings will more than likely resemble the craziness of today. Despite my fears, that thought comes with a warmth. Excitement even.

I fold myself up in blankets and rest my head against the pillow, shutting my eyes and trying to block out the noises of the others as they enter.

My eyes open to the sun, my hands searching the sky as I lie in a daydream, encompassed by the fields surrounding me.

Home, I'm home, I can smell mother's flowers so well.

And then footsteps… they echo around me and the sky seems to quickly shift to night. Getting up from the field I know that he is coming and try to run. But my legs are heavy and each step seems to be cut in half by the weight of the world pushing me down. Has the gravity suddenly increased?

Why can't I run?

My heart races and a tear trails down my cheek.

He is coming, he is right behind me, I can feel his breath down my neck. His disgusting breath. As soon as his hand grab onto my arms and yanks me back, the stench of him is gone, leaving me paralyzed in the dirt, people begin to walk up to me. Surrounding my paralyzed form- just staring at me.

Just staring. Watching me. Why won't they help me? And then- I hear laughter.

Jolting awake, I scramble to move, finding myself no longer paralyzed. I move my legs finding them also to not be back to normal. I feel a drip of sweat roll down the side of my face. Reaching up to wipe it I realize it isn't sweat but tears.

Please tell me I wasn't crying in my sleep. Looking around I see the room to be dark and everyone seems to be sleeping, except Connie. She sits up in her bed, her darkened form starring at me. Silently she creeps over to my bed. I stay silent, to afraid to ask the obvious.

She had seen me crying, great. How am I ever supposed to break free from the weak Amity image if I cry in my sleep?

"Are you alright?" She asks in a hushed whisper.

I nod quickly, partially wanting to hide away from her. But a weak part of me pleads to just continue crying and allow this girl I just met to comfort me.

"Bad dream?" She asks.

I nod again. The dream wasn't even one of the worse ones, but it still managed to leave me in a sense of dread.

"I use to get nightmares a lot when I was young, my dad would always come and read to me. I don't have anything to read to you though." She says, chuckling under her breath. I can barely see her in the darkness but see her brown curls shake a bit as she chuckles.

"It's fine, I get them a lot too. Thank you though." I say, somehow comforted by talking. It reminds me of my own mother coming to comfort me. Except I'll never get that again, another pain in my chest.

"No problem. Will you be fine?" Connie asks, I nod my head and she heads back over to her bed. "Good night, Cal."

"Good night." I say, falling back into my bed, at least I only woke up Connie. But these nightmares have to stop. I'm never going to earn respect if I'm constantly sobbing in my sleep.

With that thought in mind, I fall back to asleep, and this time- dreamlessly.


"Wake up Initiates!" The Darkness is penetrated by a bright circle of light searching over the room of sleeping Initiates. "This is your only wakeup call, be in the pit in five minutes or don't come at all." Near rolling out of bed, I find the light flashed into my sensitive eyes and groan. The light disappears and Four's figure disappears as well.

Someone near the door turns on the lights and we all begin to change into clothes quickly and in silence, all too tired to really speak. On my way out I quickly splash water on my face keep alert. I guess we aren't getting breakfast.

When we are assembled in the Pit, Four greets us with a less than excited expression; Eric rests on the wall behind him. "There are three stages to training, the first will be physical. It will push you to your physical breaking points. The second stage will be emotional, where you will face your fears. The third and final stage, will be mental." Four says pacing back and forth in front of us. "You train separately from Dauntless Born but will be ranked with them."

"Ranking will determine your futures, whether it be at the fence, which most of you will end up with, or leadership. But they also determine who gets cut." Eric says as he stands up from his position against the wall. He walks to be beside Four. "After each stage of training, those who can't keep up will be leaving us. Don't like it? Then you shouldn't have chosen Dauntless. You chose us. Now we choose you."

No one questions it; he leaves no option to. Though it is surprising with how many Candor we have. They were always the ones to speak out against teachers in class.

"If no one has any complaints, we can begin training." Four says as he begins to jog in the direction of a path we had yet to go on.

"Do we follow?" Connie asks.

"If you don't want to be Factionless, then yes!" Four calls back as we all begin to run to catch up. It is early and without any breakfast it is easy to see a lack of energy. But I know what it is like to go without food. When I understood the connection between the foggy and bright memories and bread, I found myself skipping meals in Amity. Until I was discovered, that is. The tired aching in my chest as Four increases his speed is easy to ignore as well. It just reminds me of the harvest- when we would work from sunrise to dark, not even going to school.

Thea was right, the one thing I had on the others will be my endurance. The entire time we run I'm right behind Four. We even get to go outside, the fresh air and sunlight only pushing me to keep running. I don't stop running until we end up circling back through the Pit and down a hallway into a giant room. It is best described as a warehouse turned training center. Different equipments and things I can't even comprehend the use for fill the room.

As Four gives us a moment, I find myself catching my breath with the others despite my ease with the running.

"Come on Initiates, it is time to learn to fight." I restrain from groaning as I hear Eric's voice. Why does he have to be here? Where Four was strict Eric was cruel, and what more his cruelty seemed to not be connected to a simple sadism, it was as if he was trying too hard. Only somewhere along the way he stopped trying and it just came natural. Like an asshole turned sadist.

Four seems obviously annoyed by the presence of Eric by the way he looks back at him in the way the rest of us are all secretly wanting to. "Start warming up." He tells us before going to talk to Eric. I watch Thea as she warms up, she talks about reading a lot of books concerning exercise so I trust whatever she is doing must be helping warm up something- even though it is more of a cool down after the morning of running.

I also use a few things I learned from my own stolen book, the one I had kept hidden in one of the abandoned huts. But it wasn't much.

Four and Eric talk for a good ten minutes. Their exchange of words appear angry and frustrated. If it wasn't easy to see the dislike they had for each other before it was proven now. Finally Eric leans into whisper something to Four before looking back at us, and noticing me watching him. His eyes narrow in agitation towards me as I quickly pretend to be paying close attention to a spot on the wall.

I move to the floor to do pushups, and steal a glance back over. Four is gone.

"Did he seriously leave us alone with him?" Connie complains from next to me. Her boyfriend, who I discovered is Lucas, shakes his head in frustration.

"Alright lets get started." Eric says clapping his hands together. "We are going to go over some basics."

"Where did Four go?" Kayla, one of the Candor transfers, asks in an obviously annoyed voice.

"None of your business. Now shut up and listen, maybe you won't end up factionless."

As Eric demonstrates the correct fighting poses for defending and punching- it seems easy. But as soon as we get started on the punching bags I find my first attempt to be met with an excoriating pain. It even stung my ceremonial cut.

Clenching my arm, I bite down on my lip. "Really Amity?" I hear Eric says as he passes by me, continuing to go and correct the girl next to me. I'm not even worth helping apparently. Not that I wanted help from him, but it still stung. What's even more annoying is the way the Erudite girl he helps looks up at him- dare I call the look, seductive? Gross.

I don't need approval from him; out of all people not him. I give another attempt at punching the bag and find less pain. Following the correct technique Eric explained, or at least my attempt at the technique, I continue to punch and readjust the bag in a continuous cycle before finding myself giving multiple punches one after the other. The flow seemed more natural and stronger when fueled with rage.

It wasn't that I was good, I could see the difference between myself and someone like Connie, who was obviously stronger and with more apparent natural talent set her at an obviously higher standard already, but I didn't feel pathetic either.

"Look at you, sucking just a little bit less." I hear Eric say from behind me. Could that be approval in Eric's voice? At least it is not complete disgust in his voice; that is an improvement. I roll my eyes when I know he can't see me.

"Thanks." I say and continue, trying to ignore his presence. Eventually I hear him walk on to the next person.

The rest of the morning is spent with basic fighting skills, and pairing up with Willa I realize I'm definitely not the worse. It saddens me to see her falling into expectation. It is just harder for her, she is barely five feet and as skinny as can be. I just hope she is a natural with a gun.

When dismissed for lunch, Eric doesn't head in the direction of the Cafeteria with us but instead lingers when two men enter the room. On our way to lunch people begin to plot their own ideas about the disappearance of Four.

"Maybe it is because of last year." Connie comments, today sitting with us. Lucas was left alone with his two guy friends from Candor. But it does seem like the other transfers are integrating a bit more. A Candor boy is sitting with us as well, Asher. A sweet boy, I can see why he had trouble fitting in with the rowdiness of the other Candor boys.

Two Candor girls have also grouped together with the second Erudite girl, leaving the two Erudite males on their own, including the one who had tried shoving Willa to the front up on the roof.

"What was last year?" Willa asks, twirling a strand of her brown hair in her fingers.

Connie snickers. "Didn't you see him with girlfriend last night? Tris, she was an initiate last year. Trained by Four. Supposedly they didn't get together until after Tris passed but you know, people talk. And her being first didn't help."

"So they think the ranks were affected?" Thea asks.

"Some people, but Tris had record timing in stage two and so it is hard to disprove her authenticity." Asher comments.

"Please don't tell me we are going to end up trained by Eric this whole time." Willa says in genuine fear, looking over her shoulder as if he might be ready to jump out at her.

"That's impossible, doesn't he have better things to do?" Thea asks.

Fortunately, Thea was right. That afternoon Four was back without any explanation, and no one asked. If they were questioning Four's competence I hope they decided to keep him in training. While he was strict and unapproachable, when it comes to Dauntless I imagine he is the best we are going to get.


A/N: As you can see I added something, song suggestions, just like a little song I think would be good to listen with the chapter. But hey you might hate the music I pick out, so it's just a little thing.

Also I apologize for the few cliches this story does have, (Her coming from Amity... the nightmares...) I just find them to be important parts of the story despite them not being super unique. The story as a whole I'm trying to not stick to cliches though, if I drift too much into that or canon character are out of character, please tell me :)