Title: A Blast from the Past, chapter 2

Author: Juliana

Rating: G

Pairing: Bosco/Faith

Disclaimer: Nothing mine except for the idea.

The next week went by as in a dream. Bosco tried talking to Faith but she diligently avoided him. At work she was constantly busy or she made up things to do just to be away from him. She didn't answer his phone calls and twice she didn't even open her apartment door when he wanted to talk to her.

Bosco was desperate. He couldn't let this happen to them. They were finally happy together after everything they'd been through and after all their years together and now it seemed this was going to destroy them. He was not willing to let life treat him so cruelly.

Marcia came back two days after her first visit. At first he wanted to yell at her, to get back at her for what she did to him but he knew it wasn't her fault. He was just as responsible for this as she was. If Carol was his daughter, that is. He still didn't let himself believe it. It was just too hard to accept it as truth because he feared that if he did that would destroy any hope for him and Faith. And that thought was simply too painful.

Marcia wanted to know what he decided.

"What do you mean, decided? Like I had a chance to decide about anything," he said resentfully. This time she came alone, she said she had left Carol at her mother's.

"Maurice, I'm sorry about last time. I didn't want to cause any problems between you and that woman, I just … I didn't know what else to do. Did you two talk? Are you okay?"

"What do you think? She refuses to talk to me, she doesn't want to even look at me …" he yelled frustrated. He wanted to see her exactly what she had done coming to his place two days ago so he continued a little more quietly, "She's pregnant, we were supposed to get married and now … Now it's all over."

He sat down on the couch, exhausted from the lack of sleep and from constant worrying.

"Oh, my God, I didn't know you were so serious," she covered her mouth with her hand, obviously shaken. "I thought she was just one of …"

"Well, she wasn't just one of, she was the one, Marcia, the operative word here is was." He wanted to add 'thanks to you' but he bit his tongue in time. He knew he wasn't being fair when he tried to make her feel bad, he just couldn't help himself. He had to let his frustration and anger out somehow and she was the only one available right now.

"I'm sorry," she lowered her head. She wasn't so sure anymore she had done the right thing. But when she did it she thought of Carol and her future. When she realized she wasn't going to be able to support herself and her child, she wanted her to have a good father. She knew Maurice was inconstant when it came to women but he was a responsible man and had a decent job. That was all she needed at that moment.

"Before we talk any further I want a test done. I wanna be sure she's mine. Alright?" He said almost aggressively because he expected her to protest. But she didn't.

"I'll make an appointment with my doctor. He'll need a sample of your blood too."

"Just tell me when and where and I'll be there." Even his dread of needles didn't cause him to hesitate. He would've done anything if it gave him any hope of making up with Faith and be happy again. But there wasn't much he could do anyhow.

Marcia soon left, the atmosphere around them too tense and hostile for her to endure it any longer than was absolutely necessary. She wondered whether he'd be able to offer their daughter more than he was willing to offer to her. If he behaved like he did now he wouldn't be of any good to Carol anyway. She just hoped once he saw she really was his he would find the strength in himself to change and to maybe start loving Carol. She just kept her fingers crossed Carol was his.

He knocked on the door, determined to knock until she opened. He went with Marcia to the doctor's that day to give a sample of his blood to determine paternity. The doctor told them they'd have to wait ten days before they got the results back. He knew it was going to be the longest ten days of his life but he couldn't do anything but wait for that simple test to decide his fate.

Now he stood waiting in front of Faith's door. He knocked for the fourth time before she opened. The first thing he noticed when she stood in front of him was that she looked much more tired than he had guessed from the short glimpses of her he had gotten when she passed him quickly at the station or when he looked at her from afar. His heart ached knowing he was the cause of her state, more so because he knew that wasn't good for their baby. He had to pull all his strength together to hold back the tears when he thought of their baby.

"What do you want Bosco? I'm tired and not in a mood to talk to you," she said instead of a greeting.

"Faith … We need to talk, you know that," he hardly managed to utter around the lump in his throat. He pushed his trembling hands in his jeans pockets. He didn't dare show her how weak he was because he was afraid that if she noticed it she would gather enough strength to push him away again.

She was obviously contemplating her options when she just stood watching him. He felt like he was waiting for his death sentence to be pronounced. He started to sweat.

Finally she moved to the side and allowed him to enter. When she sat down on the couch all he wanted to do was sit next to her, hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But he knew that was not going to be enough this time. A few comforting words would not make the problem disappear.

Faith was still silent, she was waiting for him to talk. She didn't know what to say, besides she wasn't sure words could make any difference. He had a child with someone else. She wanted to be the mother of his first child and have a family with him. She wished for them to be together forever and to enjoy watching their children grow up. Now the chances of ever getting that were very slim. And there would always be that other child. Faith wasn't sure she was strong enough to cope with that.

"Faith …" he broke the silence, startling her. She lifted her gaze to him but then quickly looked away. Her pain was hard enough to bear, she couldn't cope with his too.

"I … I don't know what to say," he raised his hands, lost.

"You wanted to talk, so you obviously have something to say."

"I went with Marcia to the doctor's today, to do the test. We'll find out in ten days." He couldn't think of anything else to say to comfort her or to give her any hope.

"She already said she's yours. Don't you believe her?"

Bosco knew he had to be careful with what he said. After a moment he shrugged, "I don't know. I mean I know it only takes one time to happen, you know, but it's just so hard to believe. I've been always so careful …"

"Not careful enough it seems," she said flatly. He was hurt by her unfeeling tone. He hoped she would understand and help him. Obviously he was hoping for too much.

"I never wanted to have kids with anyone else but you, Faith, can't you see that? I didn't want for this to destroy our happiness, I wanted so much for us to be a family, together with Chuck and Em … I wanted the chance to raise our child with you and watch her or him grow up. I couldn't know Marcia would …" His face was contorted in grief.

Faith quickly wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek. Hearing him pronounce the same wishes she had was too much to handle. She loved him and she adored their child even before it was born but she couldn't give him the chance to hurt her again. She needed him far away so she would be safe. She knew that after some time she would get over him and she could raise the child alone with some help from Em and her mother. All she had to do was keep Bosco at a distance.

He sat down in front of her on the coffee table. He was fidgeting with his hands waiting for a word of encouragement from her. It didn't come.

"We can still have that, Faith. Even if Carol is mine, we could still be a family. I know I would have to support her and everything and spend time with her but that doesn't mean I couldn't be with you and our kid, too. I could manage if only you'd …" He couldn't end the sentence, a suppressed sob constricted his throat.

He waited for her to say something. It was unnatural for Faith to be so quiet. He expected her to rage, to show her anger, but she sat quietly, looking tired and sad.

"Faith, please …" he almost cried.

"Bosco, I don't think I can cope with this …" Before she finished, he said, "Then let us handle this together."

She stopped him with a raised hand. She stood up and Bosco followed, surprised at her sudden movement. She turned her back to him because she knew the only way for her to say what she intended to say was if she didn't look him in the eyes. She knew she'd give in the instant he looked at her and she couldn't allow for that to happen. It was better to not have him at all than to be constantly afraid of him hurting her again. She just wouldn't be able to take it if he broke her heart again.

"No. You already have a family, it's not one you've wanted but you can't change the fact that you have one. They're gonna need you and between them and your job there won't be much time left for us, Bosco. I need someone on whom I can rely completely, I can't afford to start a family with someone who's absent more often than not. I just can't."

Her words hurt more than a slap to his face. He felt dizzy and faint. His breathing was labored. He wanted to protest but he couldn't get a word out.

"Besides, who knows how many other kids you have with all the women you've been with," she said when she turned to face him.

"Faith!" he gasped. How could she say something like that? He didn't understand what was happening with her. She wasn't like that, the Faith he knew would never accuse him like that. The Faith that loved him. The thought sent shivers down his spine. Was it possible that her love for him turned into hatred? Did he hurt her so much that something like that was possible? He wanted to ask her but he dreaded the answer too much.

"Well it's true, isn't it? You didn't know Marcia had a kid either, did you? Who knows how many others gave birth to your kids. It is possible, Bosco, you just didn't think about it until now that it has happened."

"Faith, I told you I was always careful. Except for …"

"It's the thought of it that I can't handle, Bosco. I can't live in fear that someday someone else will come and present you with another kid. I wanted you for myself and for our child. I'm not willing to share you with some unknown woman you laid God knows how long ago!" Faith was yelling at him and Bosco stepped back. Obviously she needed some time to start showing her anger. But he didn't expect her to say the things she did.

He opened his mouth to say something but she didn't give him a chance.

"I want you out of my life, Bosco. We're over. I'll raise the child myself, I won't forbid you from seeing it because I can't but I won't let you interfere with its upbringing."

He closed his eyes but that didn't stop the tears. She didn't want him to be there for her and their child.

"Faith, can't I do something to show you how sorry I am and how much I love you both? Please, I'd do anything, just don't push me away … give me another chance, I'm begging you, please, Faith."

"I can't and I don't want to. It hurts too much every time you mess up."

"I'll try my best, I promise." He reached out to touch her but she stepped away. He couldn't believe her feelings changed so much that she was now even avoiding his touch.

"Your best is just not good enough," she said before she stepped towards the door. Before she managed to open it, Emily entered into the apartment. Her initial smile disappeared as soon as she saw Bosco standing in the middle of the living room, wiping quickly at his tears. She turned towards Faith who was standing at her side.

"Mum?"

"Bosco was just leaving," Faith said when she opened the door again.

Bosco was so stunned by her coldness he didn't know what to say. He just stood as if he was glued to the carpet on the floor.

"Bosco," Faith's voice raised when she called his name for the second time.

Finally he moved towards the door. She was obviously determined not to listen to him and right now there wasn't much he could do. He would have to find a better moment to try and change her mind.

"Em," he said before he turned to Faith.

"We're not finished yet, Faith. I won't let you do this," he barely whispered.

"Yes, we are. I won't change my mind," she returned without looking at him.

Bosco opened his mouth to say something else but he changed his mind. He turned and left through the door but once in the hallway he turned to look at her again before she closed the door to his face.

When he stepped into the elevator he was so exhausted from the emotional strain he went through that his legs couldn't support him any longer and he slid to the floor. He imagined what Faith must've felt but that still didn't give her the right to rob him of the joys of being a father and a husband. Even if Carol was his, he still wanted Faith and their child too and nothing was going to change that.

4

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