Chapter 1 (Part 1): Shadows
Sunset, I close my eyes
I pretend everything's alright
Drowning in anger from all these lies
I can't pretend everything's alright
Please don't let me fall forever
Can you tell me it's over?
Shepard stared up at the fluorescent lighting as she laid on another surgical table. She had agreed to work for the Shadows. Her past life now meant nothing to her, just a series of memories. As much as it killed her to see Jane Trinity Shepard gone, a small part of her always wished for this. A new life, a start over. Just...not with the Shadows.
"All right, Commander Shepard." Miranda, a women who she had been speaking to the last day, walked up from her side, a data pad in hand, "You've agreed to all the reconstruction – eyes, hair, skin, the works. Now, is there anything you wish us to leave?"
Shepard furrowed her brows, picking her head up to look at Miranda, "Leave?"
Miranda nodded, "Scars, tattoo's, piercing—"
"Only scars." Shepard laid her head back, closing her eyes, "And I want them all gone."
"Understood, Commander." Miranda set the data pad on a near by table, "You'll be under anesthetics for two months, maybe a bit longer. We'll be bringing you out from time to time, checking brain waves and—"
"I know." Shepard snapped, harshly, "I just…I know, Miranda...I want to get this over with."
Miranda nodded and placed a hand on Shepard's arm, "I just need to confirm our agreements, okay?" Shepard nodded, looking over at Miranda.
"Hair color will be red." Shepard nodded.
"Eyes green." Another nod.
"All scars will be gone."
"Yes."
"We'll be upgrading your implants with the new L5n implant, per your request."
"Okay." Shepard took a deep breath.
Miranda nodded, a small smile forming on her lips, "We agreed the skin will stay the same, just the scars will be gone."
"Yup." Another deep breath.
"I think that's it, Commander." Miranda moved away, picking up a syringe from the table where she set the data pad, "Any last words as Commander Shepard?"
Shepard took another deep breath, looking back up at the horrible lighting, "...No, but thank you, Miranda."
"You're welcome," Miranda smiled again, a small nod before pushing the syringe into Shepard's thigh, "I'll see you when you wake up, Commander."
"Hear about the new recruit?" Liara walked into the mess hall, a bottle of water in hand. Wrex, Garrus, who was wearing his armored helmet, and Tali sat around a table in the back of the room.
"Shepard?" Tali asked, "She agreed?"
"She did." Liara smiled and sat down in between Tali and Wrex.
"Hmm." Wrex grunted, adjusting in his chair, "From her service record, she's something to be feared."
"Scared, Wrex?" Garrus joked, his mandible twitched into a smug smirk under his helmet.
"No." Wrex said, flatly, "I've heard of her tales and respect her as a warrior."
"He's scared." Tali chirped, smirking behind her suit.
Wrex grunted, waved his hand at Tali, "You wouldn't understand, Tali."
"I overheard that she is being implanted with the new L5n amp." Liara leaned forward on the table.
"You're joking." Garrus' mandibles flared, cautious, "Those haven't exactly been doing well with humans."
"With Jack's help, Miranda was able to modify it within a non-lethal range," Liara opened her water bottle, "With Jack's own L5x implant design, I wasn't surprised to hear they got it up and running so quickly."
"Look's like you'll have a new Vanguard to teach, Wrex." Tali spoke, leaning back in her chair.
"What are you talking about? She's already a trained Vanguard." Wrex grunted, "I'm too old to teach pyjaks."
"Let's just be happy she isn't choosing to become an Infiltrator." Liara glanced over at Garrus, raising an eyebrow, "You almost killed our last recruit."
"That was his own damn fault." Garrus' mandible twitched in anger, "He said he was ready to fight in hand-to-hand combat, I kept saying otherwise."
"He was your student, Archangel." Tali shook her head, leaning her arms forward against the table.
"And he didn't listen to his teacher." Garrus stood up, grabbing his sniper, "You know where I'll be."
Shepard stared at herself in the mirror, well, more like glared. Why did she agree to this? This was stupid! How could she so willingly get them take her. She didn't recognize herself. Her hair was longer and it was red. Her brown eyes that reminded her of her father were now tinted emerald green. Her skin was freckled now, probably a reaction to the implants. Shepard ran a finger across her cheek, frowning. She knew joining the Shadows meant never going back to her old life but now, whenever she looked in the mirror, she wouldn't see her old self.
"Maybe I should have kept a few scars." Shepard mumbled under her breath, her fingers wrapping around the sides of the sink in front of her. She turned her head to look at the neatly folded pile of clothes that were laid out for her on next to the table where she woke up. She quickly put them on, pulling the hospital gown off. N7 clothes, Anderson must have left them behind for her. She took a deep breath, pulling herself onto the table to lace up her boots.
"Shepard." Miranda walked in, a large Krogan a few paces behind, "Glad to see your awake." Shepard hummed as she continued lacing up her boots.
"I know this is quite the adjustment but—"
"I know what I agreed to, Miranda," Shepard stepped off the table and crossed her arms, "I'm ready. For anything."
Miranda smiled and motioned to the Krogan behind her, "Good. This is Wrex. He'll be helping you get use to your new implant. Wrex, you aren't allowed to head-butt her until I says so."
"Wasn't planning on doing it now—look at her." Wrex grunted.
"What's wrong with me?" Shepard narrowed her eyes at Wrex.
"Nothing." Miranda replied before Wrex spoke, "You just look tired. The meds are still in your system and you at least need another nights rest before starting your training."
"Training?" Shepard ran a hand through her hair, frowning at the new texture.
"Yeah," Wrex leaned forward, "You may be the best in the Alliance, but out here you're new meat. Get ready to be used as a punching bag." Wrex left after that, Miranda shaking her head and rubbing her forehead.
"Let's get you to your room." Miranda motioned for Shepard to follow.
"I'm assuming Nihlus will be filling me in on the situation?" Shepard spoke once they were out in the hallway.
"Tomorrow, after training. You really should rest first." Miranda replied.
"Why do I need to train? It isn't like I'm new to this." Shepard sighed, slumping her shoulders.
"You've been given a few..." Miranda pursed her lips, "Unique talents. Plus, the L5n implant needs to be tested before you start your mission."
"Okay," Shepard nodded as Miranda stopped walking, "I'll rest up and train." Miranda pressed the green button that laid next to the door. The door slid open, revealing Shepard own room.
"You'll be without a roommate until we are certain your amp won't cause yourself or anyone around you harm." Shepard shrugged past Miranda, walking deeper into the room. There was a bunk bed, a door leading to, what she hoped, was a bathroom. A dresser stood next to the bunk bed, also a night stand, with an oval shaped mirror above the dresser. A small lamp was on top of the dresser The room was filled with posters and drawings, she noticed a few quarian fan favorite scenes from Float and Flotilla. A few bands. Posters talking about upcoming guns and snipers, new biotic amps in the making. An empty locker laid against the wall near the door to the bathroom.
Miranda noticed Shepard looking at the locker, "A place for your weapons and armor, once we fit you into some. Some new weapons are being shipped here tomorrow, Anderson gave us the models which you prefer. Wrex will help you keep the amp from overloading. That's what the training is for, by the way, we don't think you're incapable of helping us take down whoever is doing this."
"Thank you." Shepard nodded, rubbing her eyes, "I'm happy I don't have to share a bunk with anyone yet...I'm not happy to be here."
"...I know about Mindoir—all of Shadow does. We don't want to make that mistake again. Not a lot of Shadow knows that Mindoir was your home, you'd have to look into your pre-military file to even know you use to live in Mindoir. And since all of those are gone now..." Miranda leaned against the door frame, a very pronounced frown on her face.
"Than you understand why I'm cautious." Shepard crossed her arms, leaning against the bunk bed railing.
"I do." Miranda nodded, "But you have nothing to worry about...I am sorry, though. I wasn't in Shadow during that time, no one here was. I—"
"It's fine." Shepard stood up straight, "I'll try to be a bit...nicer."
Miranda laughed, "Just be yourself. That smart tongue and know-it-all attitude will help you in the long run."
Shepard nodded, "Thank you."
"My room is right next door if you need anything. Your OT has the bases layout synched, you should be able to find everything without a problem." Miranda left Shepard alone, the door sliding shut behind her. Shepard let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and sunk into bed. She pulled the sheets over herself and stuffed her head into the pillow, which oddly smelt like sea water. Shepard smiled into the pillow, soon drifting off to sleep.
"Alright you filthy pyjak." Wrex stood in front of Shepard in a vacant hangar bay, save for a few broken down skycars. Wrex had informed her this is where they would train everyday, dawn till dusk, with only one 'potty break' as he put it.
"You ready to become the Ultimate Vanguard?"
Shepard stood up straight, her hands placed behind her back as she nodded, "I'm ready."
Wrex grunted, stepping in front of her and eyeing her, "I don't think you are, pyjak."
"I am." Shepard glared up at Wrex.
"Pyjak, you—" Shepard head-butted the krogan. She felt a crack in her skin, along her jaw line. Wrex moved back, clutching his head and grunting in annoyance.
"I said," Shepard hissed, "I'm ready."
Wrex sneered at Shepard, moving his face inches from her own. They stood there, glaring. She heard footsteps behind her, people were moving around the hanger. She would not back down, she refused to back down. From the corner of her eye she could see people were sitting on top of the skycars. Shepard saw Wrex throw back his arm, quickly jumping back as he fist slammed down the ground between them. He activated his barrier, Shepard doing the same and starting fighting. As she fought with Wrex, she saw people gathering on and around the skycars, some of them in awe. She heard a couple whispers as Wrex threw her over toward them.
"That's Shepard?"
"She's actually wearing Wrex down."
"Nihlus was right."
"She's single, right?"
Shepard quickly got back on her feet, sending out a Flare towards the krogan as he started running towards her. Wrex was thrown back, grunting as his body made impact on the hard pavement. Shepard's body glowed with biotics as she activated her biotic charge. Wrex only half way standing as Shepard's body flew into his, knocking him back, his body hitting the hanger wall which stood twenty feet away. Shepard panted, wiping some blood off her lip. She walked over towards Wrex, the whispers from the onlookers getting louder. They kept calling her Shepard.
Still haven't picked a different name. Shepard panted, glanced back at the crowd, amazed more had arrived in the short period of time. She shouldn't have looked back behind next thing she knew she was flying towards the crowd. She skid to a stop in front of the crowd, inches from some of their feet. Shepard coughed, grunting as she pushed herself up.
"That's gonna leave a bruise." Shepard moaned, grabbing onto her stomach as she stood up.
"Had enough yet, Pyjak?" Wrex laughed, walking back to the middle of the hanger.
Shepard let out a short laugh, cracking her knuckles, "No, Sir. Not even close."
"I can't believe he did this to you." Miranda took one look at Shepard and regretted sending her to training so soon. Shepard smiled, some blood smeared onto her teeth. Wrex was on the other side of the med bay, getting looked at by Mordin.
"She head-butted me!" Wrex yelled over Mordin's shoulder.
"It's true. He didn't think I was ready to become the 'Ultimate Vanguard'." Shepard chuckled, using her fingers as quotations.
"You definitely weren't ready to start training, that's for sure." Miranda mumbled, starting to scrub the dried blood off of Shepard's face.
"Her amp is working fine, Miranda. You and Jack did well." Wrex called.
"I'll let Jack know that you agree with her work..." Miranda frowned when she saw the crack on Shepard's jaw. "What's this?"
"Hmm?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, moving her fingers over the crack in her skin. "I don't know. I felt it when I head-butted Wrex." Miranda had to hold back yelling at Shepard. She would do it later after dealing with her injuries.
"You hold up a good fight, Shepard." Wrex laughed, "Can't wait to do it again."
"Same here, Wrex." Shepard couldn't help but smile.
"We'll go over your weak spots tomorrow." Wrex got off the table once Mordin was done, "See ya later."
"You aren't going to quarantine me, are you?" Shepard asked once Wrex was out of the room, "I know scars aren't suppose to glow."
"It isn't anything I can't fix." Miranda comforted her, "It's just the cybernetics. They haven't had enough time to fully heal and adjust to all the ruckus." Shepard cringed as Miranda started cleaning the wound.
"Looks like that smart mouth of yours is making you popular." Miranda smiled, moving over to a shelf and pulling a plastic basket off.
"I won't lie...I missed fighting like that." Shepard smiled, "The Alliance has been going easy on me since Akuze. My mental state wasn't at what they wanted it to be. I still questioned myself, who wouldn't?"
"I wouldn't." Miranda frowned, looking over at Shepard, "Everyone know about Akuze and what happened. You did all you could to keep your men safe, they shouldn't have been on the field yet if they could break so easily."
"I know." Shepard furrowed her brows, "But as their commander—"
"You did everything a commander would have done. I understand replaying their deaths over and over in your mind, thinking of somehow, someway you could have saved them." Miranda moved back over with the basket, setting it down next to Shepard, "But the truth is, you would have been killed too. Than the mission would have been a complete waste."
Shepard's lips thinned as she stared at Miranda intently, "You have a story too."
"I do." Miranda didn't deny is as she started cleaning a long cut on Shepard's arm, "Everyone does."
Shepard nodded, watching Miranda clean her wound, "I—"
"Shepard." Nihlus walked into the med bay, a turian, different than the one before, in full armor, helmet included, standing behind him and Liara.
"Nihlus." Shepard nodded to him, "Something I help you with?" Nihlus walked over to Shepard and handed her a data pad while Miranda still cleaned the wound on her other arm. Shepard activated the data pad and skimmed over the first page.
"This is the Spectre that was killed when I was brought in?" Shepard looked up at Nihlus, who nodded. "They can't find his body?"
"It seems all the bodies have been taken." Nihlus deeply sighed.
"Everyone they've killed? Including non-Spectres?" Shepard's voice faltered. What if they took Kaidan..?
"It would seem so," Nihlus scratched at his mandible, "The ship that was delivering the Spectre back to his home world was seized. All crew dead and the Spectres body missing."
"What do they need the body for?" Shepard continued looking through the data pad, inwardly cursing when Miranda stung her wound.
"That's what we want you to find you." Nihlus nodded to Miranda, "Get her patched up and have her start working on guns with Archangel, I need her ready to go off world by the end of the week."
"Yes, sir." Miranda bowed, her arms crossed over her chest as Nihlus left. The turian lingered a bit longer, staring at Shepard, before shaking his head and walking out.
"Archangel?" Shepard asked once Miranda was done cleaning her last wound.
"The turian that walked in with Nihlus, that's Archangel." Miranda gathered the dirty supplies and walked over to a trash shoot with it.
"He doesn't have an actual name?" Shepard wondered.
"He does. Just no one knows it, I honestly don't even think Nihlus knows it."
"Ah, well, I don't need to be taught how to shoot a gun." Shepard pushed herself off the table, rubbing her arm.
"He isn't strictly with guns," Miranda explained, "He'll be teaching you hand-to-hand combat as well, without the use of your biotics."
Shepard beamed, "More fighting?"
Miranda groaned, shaking her head, but a smile formed on her lips when she saw how excited Shepard was, "Yes, fighting. Just try not to head-butt anyone anymore."
"I can't promise that." Shepard shrugged, walking towards the door.
"Archangel is watching you," Miranda placed a hand on her hip, "Try to stay on his good side. He'll be part of your team when you go off world."
Shepard lazily flicked her index finger and middle finger off her forehead in a short salute, "Thank you, Miranda. I'll keep that in mind when I'm kicking his ass."
Shepard took her food and left the mess hall, looking for a place with a view, or at least actual light. The fluorescent lighting was giving her a headache. She ate while searching, throwing away the rest of her food in the next trash can she saw. She opened her water bottle and drank as she pulled up the buildings layout on her omni-tool. She never was told where she was supposed to meet this Archangel.
He's the gun expert here so maybe...the shooting range? Do they even have one here? Shepard skimmed over the layout, switching from floor to floor and coming up empty handed.
"What about a...would he be back at the hanger?" Shepard decided it was worth a shot and shut off her omni-tool, running towards where Wrex had brought her that morning. She was right, the floor she was on overlooked the hanger and there the turian was, sitting on one of the broken down skycars, cleaning his sniper. He still had his helmet on. Shepard raised a brow, moving over to the stairs behind her and walking down into the hanger.
"You're late." Garrus spoke as he continued to clean his sniper.
"I am." Shepard nodded, standing on front of the skycar.
"No excuses?" Garrus turned his head to look down at her.
"No point." Shepard shrugged. Garrus stared down at her for a moment before humming. He motioned his head to a table that sat behind the skycar, "Pick a gun."
Shepard moved around the skycar and looked down at the table. Her fingers trailed over the many guns. The M-96 Mattock. M-9 Tempest. M-22 Eviscerator. M-5 Phalanx. M-12 Locust. M-7 Lancer. M-300 Claymore. M-77 Paladin. M-8 Avenger. M-55 Argus. N7 Hurricane. M-11 Wraith. M-23 Katana. M-11 Suppressor. The M-98 Widow.
"The M-98 Widow." Shepard stared in awe as her fingers trailed over the cool metal. She's never seen one in person, only a handful of Alliance Militia she knew had. The weapon itself was from unknown origin, which made the Alliance 'vote' to never allow the weapon into Alliance ranks. She looked over her shoulder at Garrus who continued cleaning his own sniper.
"M-92 Mantis." Shepard tilted her head, mumbling to herself, "Good gun."
She hadn't realized Garrus had turned his head to look at her, clearing his throat when her gaze didn't leave the sniper. She quickly averted her eyes, picking up the M-98 Widow—
"Put it back." Garrus said, turning to look at her, "The M-11 Suppressor will be your gun."
"Pardon me?" Shepard placed a hand on her hip, setting the blunt part of the sniper on the ground, her hand curling around the barrel, "You just told me to pick a gun."
Garrus twisted on top of the skycar, placing his sniper next to him when he turned to her, "Pick up the Suppressor."
Shepard looked down at Widow in her palm, pursing her lips. She asked, looking back up at the turian, "Why the Suppressor?"
"Why the Widow?"
"Why not the Widow? It has a high accuracy. It can disrupt shields, pierce through armor and detonate biotic barriers. Mainly effective against krogans and armors vehicles—like the Mako or Hammerhead. The Widow can give clean head-shots at any range, even is capable of one-shot kills! It's also better than the Mantis." Shepard motioned with her head towards Garrus' gun.
He turned his head to his sniper then back to Shepard, "Why not the Suppressor? It's capable of clean head shots, good in close range, silent, deadly. It's based on stealth and doesn't draw hostile fire to the holder. Though the Suppressor has a lower damage rate than the Widow, you have thirty six shots instead of seven. If you think you can take down someone in close quarters with a sniper and seven bullets, than you don't need any other guns."
Shepard narrowed her eyes at Garrus, chewing on the inside of her cheek. It was hard to get a reading on him, mostly because of his stupid helmet. Turians were the hardest alien for her to read, so complex and always poised and rational. Krogans you could set off just by looking at them, you could see their fingers twitch when annoyed, hear their battle cries from miles away. She would rather be doing this with Wrex than 'Archangel' right now.
"Fine." Shepard finally spoke, setting the Widow back on the table and picking up the Suppressor, "We'll do this your way."
Garrus slid off the skycar, picking up his sniper after planting his feet on the ground, "Come with me."
Shepard, reluctantly, followed Garrus into a different part of the hanger. They walked through the door that divided this hanger from the next, where Garrus had set up a shooting range. Targets were drawn on the ten papers that hung from the ceiling, 100 yards from the loading table.
"You want me to use a pistol for long range?" Shepard looked at Garrus, her eyes questioning him, "You just told me the Suppressor was meant for close range. I need a sniper to do this!"
"I've read your service record...Commander. I know what you're good at, what you excel in and what you need work on."
"Your nicely saying 'You suck with a pistol'." Shepard grumbled, placing her left palm on the table and leaning on it, "And here I thought you'd be trying to break me."
"...As I've said, Commander," Garrus quickly set the record straight, "I know what you're good at. You're deadly, but you could be deadlier if you learned to shoot a pistol correctly."
"But from this far?" Shepard looked over at the hanging papers.
"Yes." Garrus set his sniper down, taking the Suppressor from Shepard and shooting at one of the papers. All six bullets hit the paper.
Shepard hid her amazement, crossing her arms and tilting her head, "Okay, fair point." Garrus handed Shepard back the pistol and moved to lean back against the wall. Shepard reloaded the gun, letting the overheated thermal clip fall out before taking her stance.
"It's only a god damn bioticball field away," Shepard whispered to herself, "You've snipped further than this. Of course it was with a fucking sniper and not a stupid pistol but you can still do this." Shepard shot six rounds at another target, frowning when she didn't see her bullets pierce the paper. She continued to shoot, ignoring the small chuckle escaping to turian behind her as her bullet continued to miss the target. She growled, frustrated, and picked up the unused thermal clips on the table in front of her. Shepard reloaded her weapon and started to fire again. More chuckled as she missed the target.
"This makes no sense!" Shepard growled out, standing up straight and turning to Garrus, "Pistols aren't meant for long range shooting."
"Alright, Commander," Garrus pushed himself off the wall and walked over to her, "Let's say you're cornered in a building, the only way to get out of that building in through a bridge which is guarded by a krogan that regen's like a freak of nature. You're at a vantage point, you could easily shoot him down if you have a sniper but since you're stuck with a pistol what will you do?"
Shepard looked down at her pistol, "I'd try to shot him down before he came close enough to charge."
"Exactly," Garrus walked back over to the wall, "It isn't the weapon that has limitations, it's yourself."
Shepard laughed, "Y—You're high, right? A weapon does have limitations. If it didn't, there would be no need for thermal clips or different models. Every weapon as different recoil, different ammo, different damage—no weapon is the same. If every weapon was the same, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now."
"Oh yeah," Garrus leaned back on the wall, "I am most definitely high while I'm teaching an incompetent commander to shot a damn pistol."
"I'm not incompetent." Shepard growled at him.
Garrus stood up straight, "Coulda fooled me, Commander."
Shepard growled, turning away towards the target and firing the weapon. Each bullet hit the bulls-eye, much to Shepard's surprise.
"Anger is a good emotion, Shepard. Use it."
