"So why did you come back? Did Caroline dump you because you're getting a little pudgy? Because I gotta tell you Nick, it looks like you're gaining some weight. You should start doing some push-ups or something."
"Well I definitely didn't come back because I missed you, Schmidt." Nick remarked as he grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured himself some coffee. He was beginning to feel his lack of sleep kicking in.
He looked into the living room and sighed.
"What are we going to do about Neil?" Nick asked Schmidt.
"We give him the bidnit and tell him to get the hell out of our hiss-ouse."
Nick turtle-faced, not wanting to be the one to break the bad news.
"And I think you should be the one to kick him out." Schmidt continued, as if reading Nick's mind, "I mean you already kicked him out of your room. He has to know he can't stay here."
Nick sighed "Yeah I know. I'll have him out before I go to work."
"Good. Because he's starting to freak me out. Have you heard his box growling? It sounds like a baby demon!"
At that moment Winston emerged from his room. He looked at the couch where Neil was sleeping and made a face of aggravation.
"I thought Neil would have left last night after you came in." Winston said, looking at Nick. "You gotta kick him out! He can't stay here. One crazy person is enough for this loft!"
Neil then awoke. He looked into the kitchen where the three men were sitting and smiled. "Glad you're all awake, now we can discuss my living arrangements!"
Nick frowned as the other two men excused themselves from the room to get ready for work.
"You can't live …" Nick stopped, beginning to feel like he should put money in the douche bag jar. Neil was a human being after all, and he was kicking him out of the loft right after he moved in. Clearing his throat he started over. "Neil…"
And that's when Neil's box started to growl. Nick had to agree with Schmidt, it sounded like a baby demon.
"You know what Neil; stay as long as you need to…you'll have to sleep on the couch though." Nick said, slowly going into his room to not startle the being-in-the-box any further. He had no interest confronting the growling beast.
Nick went to his room and fell asleep, preparing himself for a long night at the bar.
He awoke several hours later to Schmidt screaming and banging on his door.
"Nick…Nick wake up. We need to talk!"
"What Schmidt? I'm trying to sleep! Go away!" He called through the door.
Schmidt ignored him and walked into Nick's room.
"What is going on Nick? Why is WierdyMcgrowlybox still here?"
"WierdyMcgrowlybox, Schmidt? That's what we're going to call him now?"
"Well that's what Jess has been calling him. She really doesn't like him, but I can't fathom why. They're really quite similar. God can you imagine them dating! How terrifying!"
Nick didn't want to imagine Jess dating anyone except himself. The picture of her and Neil together made him feel angry…. almost jealous. Almost.
"Yes." He replied. "That is terrifying!"
He shook himself out of his depressing thoughts and brought himself back to reality. "I couldn't kick him out, Schmidt. The box growled at me!"
"Be a man, Nick!" Schmidt replied as he stormed off.
Nick grumbled as he got out of bed to kick out WierdyMcgrowlybox.
When he walked into the living room he discovered his three roommates, and Neil, sitting together watching a movie. Neil was talking incessantly about what it feels like working in HR. Jess caught his gaze, practically begging Nick to do something about Neil. Nick decided now was as good a time as any to ask the man to leave.
"Neil, we need to talk." Nick stood in the middle of the room and began a speech he prepared earlier that day, before the box growled at him.
"We don't think you should stay here anymore." Winston intervened.
That's when the box started to growl and shake.
"Neil…what's in the box?" Schmidt asked, terror written all over his face.
That was the moment a small white Chihuahua popped out of the box and began to terrorize the loft. Winston screamed and jumped so he was standing completely on the couch, Nick and Schmidt joined him. Jess just sat and watched what was unfolding before her. The Chihuahua ran around the apartment barking, growling, and snapping at anyone that wasn't Neil.
"Mipsy! Come here girl!" Neil called after her as he chased the small dog around the apartment.
"I told you it sounded like a baby demon! Look at that thing; it's going to eat my soul! Nick, you should have kicked him out earlier before that baby demon grew strong and tried to destroy us all!" Schmidt proceeded to scream about baby demons while Neil tried to get 'Mipsy' under control. He chased her around the apartment and broke a small glass. Neil ran into the coffee table, knocking several of Jess' papers to the floor.
Neil proceeded to spill three more cups of water, a beer, and break an expensive vase that Schmidt just had to have before he calmed his dog.
The roommates looked at him, surprised by the sudden quiet in the loft. Then all at once they all looked around at the now-messy loft and then looked at each other. They simultaneously screamed "Get out!" and watched as Neil gathered his belongings.
Neil promptly left and Nick sighed. He proceeded to get ready for work. Tonight was going to be a long night.
AN: Happy Fourth of July! (My gift to you guys lol)
Sorry it took a while to get this chapter up. I couldn't figure out a good way to end the chapter. And sorry, no Ness in this chapter (I promise it's coming….along with some Schmidt/CeCe), but I'm still trying to get a feel for the characters. Thanks for your patience, I promise I'll have the next chapter up soon :]
