Author's Note: Hi all. This is the chapter I had mentioned that would need a pretty serious trigger warning. There's violence that lies ahead and it covers some pretty rough stuff. So, if you're sensitive to that you may wish to skip this one . Thank you!
Part 2
Evergreen
How was this possible?
There he was, standing right in front of her.
His soft features and kind eyes had her own in a gridlocked gaze that even an earthquake couldn't shake. She was afraid to move; afraid to breath. As if the smallest exhale from her lungs might shatter his image into a million pieces that floated away into the night. Though she could hold her breath, she couldn't control her tears. They gathered around her eyes like sea water flooding a ship after hitting a rock bank. And, as her tears fell, she thought perhaps some movement on her part might not spirit away the vision before her.
"Daniel?" she rasped once more as she slowly moved to stand.
"I was last I checked," he joked humbly, trying to ease the fear in her eyes.
She slowly moved closer and reached out to touch his shoulders, surprised when her fingers didn't go through them like they should have for the ghost that he was. Then, after a gentle squeeze to confirm his corporal status further, she slammed her body into his and enveloped him in a desperate hug.
"Oh my god, it really is you," she breathed him in at the neck and smiled through her tears. "You even smell like the stable."
"How else could you be sure," he chuckled and held her in his arms, happy to give her the comfort she needed so much.
"You're really here and you're not a ghost," she said, as much to herself as to him. "Maybe this was a part of the curse. Maybe I really am going to get my happy ending."
At this he swallowed and his face fell. After one more moment of allowing Regina the happiness he'd always wanted to give her, he pulled away so that he might destroy it. Taking her hands in his own, he looked at her with a sadness that came very much from the grave.
"I really am here, Regina," the stable boy confirmed before swallowing thickly to prepare his tongue for the truth. "But I am not here for long. Only until the Clock Tower strikes two. At that point I go back to where I came. Where we all come from and where we all go. I haven't been sent to give you your happy ending. I've been sent to give you your chance at it."
"What?" She shook her head in confusion and her happy features turned somber.
"Regina, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past," he explained. "And we have precious little time before I must leave."
Regina shook her head and her dark locks swung with the motion.
"Daniel, no. We can figure this out. We can look in my vault. I might have something there. Or we can go to Gold. He must have squirreled away some kind of magic," she took another step closer. "We can fix this. I can bring you back for good."
"No, Regina," he shook his head. "I'm the one with the magic this time. And all I need right now is for you to put your faith in me. You can still have a happy ending but not if you don't take the first steps of that journey."
He then turned to toward the window and raised his hand, causing it to whip open into the cold night. Ever the gentlemen, he then pulled away and grabbed a long robe and slippers before helping Regina into them. Her face was still filled with confusion as she watched him step out of the window and float. She nearly screamed as she took the step but instead she looked on in wonder. He really was telling the truth.
"All you have to do is take my hand," he instructed while offering said appendage.
She didn't want this. She didn't want to go on some stupid journey through the past with sad memories and lessons to learn. She wanted him. She wanted his kindness, his goodness and his arms wrapped around her telling her that he loved her and forgave her for everything she'd done at the rage from losing him. In those few precious moments since she'd seen him she'd been Regina and not the Evil Queen. All she wanted to do was pull him back in, choose love and end her tyranny over the small town. She wanted a life and a family and happiness again… But that wasn't to be.
"And what if I don't?" she asked, her voice turning an octave lower as the Evil Queen settled back in, ever her ardent protector against the pain that love inflicts.
"Then I'll come in there and drag you out," he said, brow furrowed and voice stern. "Though I'd rather maintain my chivalry in your memory I have no problem decidedly destroying it to make you see reason. Please don't force me down that path."
He kept his hand extended and his eyes cold. And then she, taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes, stepped onto the ledge and took his grip.
"Let's get this over with" she conceited with a scowl.
"Good god, you've started sounding like your mother," he mumbled dejectedly as he turned to set them on their journey.
"What?" she barked angrily, then gasped as she felt them take flight at a rapid pace. "Oh my god! Where are we going?"
"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning," he laughed at his own joked and then looked back to find she wasn't amused. "Just a little Ghost of Christmas Present humor. You'll get it in about an hour."
She remained silent and angry but held on tight as they moved into a cloud bank. Her eyes saw nothing but white until finally the bright yellow of a winter morning started to knife through the haze and blanket the earth below. They were starting to descend… and she knew just where they were descending unwelcome sight of her childhood home came into view and, as they touched down, Regina was already filled with protest.
"I truly hope you don't expect me to step foot in there," she growled. "You of all people should be well aware of how many horrible memories I have of this place."
"And you of all people should listen when I say that the only way you will break its hold over you is by facing it and finding a new way to live," he warned as he noted she'd caught sight of her mother in a nearby window. "If you want to be free from her you have to fight. Here and now."
"Ugh," she scoffed and waved her hand. "No, apparently what I have to do is play your game so you stop with the epic speeches."
He smirked and took her hand once more, leading her through the door, quite literally.
"Woah! Was that really necessary?" She asked, wiping at her clothes as if they were dirty.
"You're unable to alter anything on your journeys," he explained. "You're only to observe. No one around you will be able to see or hear you. And, should you try to touch anything, your hand will go right through it… Unless you're not supposed to bear witness."
"Right," she sighed and crossed her arms. "I saw the movie… with muppets."
They made their way to the living area where there stood a beautifully decorated evergreen tree. It was tall and shimmering but there were only a few presents beneath it; none of them bearing Regina's name.
"Regina what did you do?" Cora raised her voice as she grabbed the arm of a small girl that favored the woman who would become queen.
"Nothing bad, mother, I promise!" she cried at the pain of Cora's grip.
"Then where have all of your presents gone? Did you open them already?" her mother growled through gritted teeth.
"No, no, I swear," she tried to explain. "Papa said that The Evergreen Festival is a time of giving and kindness toward all men. Even the poorest of the poor. So, while you were away, I heard a knock at the door. It was the carolers. They were singing songs for coins for the poor but I didn't have any, so I gave them my presents. I promise I didn't touch any of yours."
Cora, enraged, threw her daughter to the ground and then balled her fists in utter bewilderment at her child's stupidity.
"Regina those were special dresses," she explained. "Wonderful, beautiful dresses for parties and balls so that I might take my idiot daughter out into society and try to make her look presentable to the nobles. They were charmed with precious ingredients I no longer have and now I'm going to have to slave over finding another set all because your father is such an spineless sympathetic that he has ruined your mind as well."
Grasping a handful of Regina's hair she yanked the girl to her feet and dragged her to the bedroom before slamming the door; leaving an adult Regina and Daniel standing alone in her wake.
"Shall we push forward?" she asked, not looking at him, with absolute malice lacing her tone. "I mean why stop here?"
She trudged forth but he gently took her arm in his hand, halting her.
"Because we have more to see."
The sound of belt popping on skin preceded a scream and a flinch from the older Regina.
"And you already know what happens next," he explained, sadness etched on his face. "Come now, the next one is less painful, I promise."
He held out his arm and she walked toward it, her eyes and ears on the door where she knew her former self was receiving the beating of a lifetime. But soon the sounds and sites morphed into a flutter of snowy white. They were in the forest, looking on at a slightly younger Regina who smiled at as she gazed upon fir tree.
"Don't you have one already?"
The Ghost and the Mayor both looked watched their former selves as a young Daniel approached a young Regina with a smirk and an extra coat. He'd seen her riding out with only a riding jacket and knew full well she'd be freezing if she stayed like that for long.
He was referring to the tree. The Mills family had quite the nice evergreen decorating their living room window; shining for all the world to see. Cora made sure every year that theirs was the grandest in the village. She spared no expense.
"Mine is dead," young Regina deadpanned and took the extra layer with a smile. "These are alive. Unadorned. Beautiful just the way they are. They survive every element and thrive."
"That's what the Evergreen Festival is about, isn't it?" Young Daniel asked and then answered himself. "Survival. We celebrate the enduring spirit of life. The ability to conquer the most extreme environments."
"True," the young girl answered. "Mother thinks that the spirit of the evergreen is power. She thinks it knows secrets other trees don't. That it survives by conquering the forest and pushing out the weaker trees."
Young Daniel looked on and nodded, "That's certainly an interesting theory. Too bad she's wrong."
His words were so quick, so confident that she was taken aback. How did he know for sure the secrets of mere foliage.
"And what do you think their secret is, stable boy?" She asked. "Hay? Oats? A good brushing down?"
He looked to her and offered an omnipotent grin before answering.
"Love."
"Love?" she huffed out the word in a laugh, her breath hanging in the air like a small cloud. "You're as simple as mother says you are."
"And yet I'm the one come to bring you an extra coat so you don't freeze looking at a bunch of trees," he countered.
Her chin dipped as she took in his words. She was bested in the comment and she was curious as to why he possibly thought these trees thrived on love rather than power.
"Evergreen's aren't used for much, you know," she mentioned. "They smell good, yes, and they look nice when we dress them up but past their persistence in living in horrible circumstances, there's not much function for them to boast."
The statement was about so much more than the trees. There was a reason Regina felt such a connection toward the evergreens. And she was reminded of that every winter.
"You're short sighted," the older Regina whispered before the younger Daniel did. She remembered his words well.
"You're short sighted," the stable boy indeed said. "Oaks are powerful trees to be sure. But they cannot bloom year round. They wither and stagnate during the winter months because they haven't learned to love the cold and snow as much as they do the rain and heat. Oaks love what makes them powerful but they aren't living their lives as beautifully and loudly as the evergreens. Your mother can think what she wants but the wonder of these trees is not found in their power. It's found in their ability to love even the bitter cold. To love animals so much they give shelter to them even when the world is so frozen it seems it would stop turning. Evergreens are made of love, and while that makes them strong, it doesn't make them the most powerful trees in the woods. For love is the the greatest magic of all."
"She wants to like you," Older Regina whispered to the ghost beside her.
"She already does," the ghost whispered back.
"You're a fool, stable boy," the young girl said, full of herself and jutting her chin.
"Perhaps, M'lady," the young stable boy answered. "But I can take the cold. And I'll make sure you get home safely in it."
There was a hesitance in her breath as she realized he was trying to show that he cared… far beyond that of a stable boy and the girl of the house.
"Why?" she asked.
He quirked his mouth to the side and looked down before returning her gaze and answering.
"Because I like the evergreens this way too. Natural and unadorned," he said it with a hesitant step forward, hoping she understood the subtext and trying to let her know that he liked her just as she was now. No fancy dress, no frills. "And I'm glad they persevere."
That last part was said for her too. He wanted her to know that the bruises didn't go unnoticed. That the dried tears on her face were not forgotten. That he looked upon her just like she did the evergreens.
Regina noticed too. Swallowing thickly and blushing, she fiddled with her gloves.
"Mother says love is weakness," she allowed herself to fall into the fantasy just a bit. Just because he was sweet. Just because there was something that hung in the air that she never wanted to stop breathing.
"Tell that to them" he answered easily, nodding toward the forest.
She looked up at the beautiful array of huge, strong, vibrantly green trees and smiled in spite of herself. She was only taken out of the moment when she felt a warm hand stroking her cheek.
The ghost and the mayor looked on as first love bloomed deep in the cold, snowy depths of winter. They watched their sweetest memory together blossom before them and a smile crossed both of their faces before the storm started to blow in, just like it had that night. Though, this time, the snow became blinding and the older Regina held strong to Daniel's ghost to keep her bearings.
"What's going on?" she yelled, shielding her face.
"We're moving on," he answered, shielding his own and guiding them to a different kind of light.
The street lamp glowed a nicotine stained yellow near a crummy apartment building. None of it was familiar to the mayor and, as they walked closer, she couldn't help feel a sense of dread.
"This place isn't a part of my past," she noted. "Why have you brought me here?"
"Because this past is tied to your future," he stated, sadly as they pressed on into the building and within a dirty and desolate two bedroom that smelled of booze and cigarettes. "Do you have any idea where we might be?"
She looked around. It definitely wasn't Storybrooke. Even her hometown homeless lived in conditions better than these. Roaches climbed the walls and beer bottles littered the floor. A sad, un-decorated, artificial christmas tree sat in the corner with lights blinking on the bottom half.
"Hell?" she replied. "Have we stepped into some long forgotten hell?"
"Where are you, you little brat?" a haggard, slurring and masculine male voice called out from a separate room.
"It's certainly hell for one of its inhabitants," Daniel confirmed, his eyes were dead and cold as anger filled his body. For he knew what was about to unfold.
"You hear me, girl?"
An overweight, balding man with a vodka bottle in his hand came stomping through the living room and into the kitchen.
"What are ya, deaf?" he asked.
Regina took a few steps closer to see a terrified blonde girl, she couldn't have been more than 12 or 13. Her green eyes already misted over with tears as if she knew there would be a great deal of pain in her future.
"I'm sorry, Tom," she explained. "I was just getting a glass of water. I didn't mean to wake you up."
"Yeah, well ya did," he ambled closer, taking the bottle to his lips in a deep pull. "And now I can't go back to sleep."
Horror started to fill Regina's body. She knew the look in that man's eyes. She'd seen it before in her own life.
"What the hell is this?" she asked Daniel. "Why are you making me watch this. I'm not responsible for every drunken, abusive monster that walks this earth. I should not have to watch this."
"No," he agreed with a nod. "No, you shouldn't. Because men should never visit such terror upon the innocent. You shouldn't have to watch this because it should never happen… But it does. It does every day. And the reason you have been brought here to watch this particular case is because of who that girl is."
"What are you talking about?" she asked with a growl.
He pressed his hand to her back and made her take a good look at the poor girl being stalked by the large, drunk man.
"Does she not remind you of anyone, Regina?" he asked as the blonde took a chance and slipped past her pursuer, trying to make it to her bedroom quick enough to lock the door. "Does she not have the bravery, tenacity and self preservation of someone you know quite well these days?"
Regina's heart felt like a vice grip had been placed upon it when the very idea of the girl's identity entered her mind.
"No," she said the word in a shuddered whisper as she watched the man tumbled past her and toward the door that the blond had sought refuge behind. He pushed past it easily then slammed it closed. All that was left was the muffled sounds of screams filtering through. "No, I…"
He placed a hand on her shoulder; his knowledge of her heart made him understand that, as evil as she was, she never meant for this to happen to anyone, not even her worst enemy.
"You also shouldn't have to watch this because that girl shouldn't be here," he explained softly, not accusing.. "She shouldn't be here because she was never supposed to be a part of this world."
"No!" she cried out, pushing his hand off of her shoulder and turning, her eyes wet with tears. "No, this is not real. That is not Emma Swan!"
"But it is, Regina," he confirmed solemnly while Emma's cries rang out through the air. "You may never have meant to condemn her to this but your intentions lost their control as soon as she was sent to this world to protect her from your wrath."
Regina put her hands over her ears as if that would keep her safe from the sounds, the smells, the feel of the damp carpet beneath her slippers.
"Stop this! Stop it!" she screamed at Daniel. "Why would you bring me here if we couldn't do anything to save her from this torment?"
"Because you can save her from future torments," he insisted. "Emma Swan is not your enemy, Regina. She is the same girl in there fighting off her demon. The same as you have fought your own. You have more in common than you'll ever know and you need to accept that. This Emma cannot be spared her pain but the one in your life can!"
"No! The one in my life is trying to take away my son," she stepped further away and pointed toward the room where Emma still cried out. "This one is innocent. She doesn't deserve what's happening to her."
The pajama clad mayor moved quickly to the door, trying to step through but it was no use. She tried the handle but it wouldn't budge. She slammed her shoulder into it but the barrier would not move.
"Why can't I get in there? Why can't I stop him?" she asked.
"Because this happened well over ten years ago, Regina," Daniel explained, taking heavy steps forward toward her. "You can no more save Emma than you can save me. You simply must accept that her life has been visited with hardship far beyond your control. And you must carry that with you along with your own pain. Hopefully, amongst all the destruction, you two might find some comfort. But not tonight. Come, my time grows short."
He held out his hand but she wouldn't leave.
"No!" she continued slamming the side of her body into the door as if it might give way. "I don't accept that."
A very sad but small smile appeared on his lips as he watched her start to beat the door with her fists.
"There's the girl I loved," he noted softly as the world became engulfed in the mist of the present. "Goodbye, Regina. May the spirits guide you to your happy ending."
She didn't notice the mist. She simply kept beating on the door. Though it did not move she couldn't just stand back and do nothing. She had to fight… Like Emma was fighting. Her fists slammed against the door so hard that soon it felt soft.
Like a pillow.
Like one of the satin covered pillows sprawled across her own bed.
That's because it was. Regina was back in her bedroom and not a cry or whimper was to be heard.
"Oh, thank god!" she said aloud. "It was a dream. Just a horrible, retched dream."
Taking in a deep lungful of air she clutched her pillow tightly to her chest and thanked whatever god there might be that none of that was real.
"How perfect that our first meeting in this world should mimic our first meeting in the last," a spritely, feminine voice called from the window.
The dark head turned quickly so that Regina might see who caused the most recent disturbance of her night. As her brown eyes surveyed the tiny frame covered by a green dress, she knew immediately who the voice belonged to.
"Tinkerbell?" Regina asked, sitting up in her bed with yet another bewildered expression on her face.
"That's right, Regina," the fair confirmed. "I do so love popping in on you in your bed chambers. Behold your Ghost of Christmas Present."
The devilish smirk that grew on the blonde's face left no room for contemplating that this would be an easy hour in the mayor's life. Tinkerbell had come to play.
