Love's Misconstruities
Chapter 1
For as long as he could remember, Gaara's favorite place to relax was high above the rest of the populace. He'd often contemplated why. Was it because of the tactical advantage it gave him? No, he'd enjoyed the heights long before the assassination attempts on his life began. Was it because he looked down on the rest of the villagers, perching himself atop a pedestal on which to judge them? No, that wasn't quite it, either. Perhaps he just liked to watch those below enjoying that which he had never experienced: a normal, simple life.
Of course, being a ninja, his life was doomed from the start to be nothing close to that of a typical child's. Being a son of Kazekage only made matters worse, piling some of the highest expectations upon him. But he was detached even further from sharing any common bonds with others, even those with his own siblings. Gaara was the only one in the village who had been given Suna's ultimate weapon: the curse of the one-tailed demon raccoon Shukaku. No one else who understood him. No one could. Indeed, his entire life he'd been hated and feared by everyone, even those who he knew were supposed to love him.
Love. He'd only recently begun to contemplate that emotion again. It was long ago that his understanding of love had been warped into the concept that was tattooed onto his forehead. He would love only himself, live only for himself; this he decided early on. The demon inside loved him enough, he used to believe, to compensate for all the rest who hated and betrayed him, and it was Shukaku who would protect him like the mother he never had, forever swaddling him in a heavy blanket of sand. All it asked in return was his sanity and the blood of those who would dare cross them.
But now he'd been shown that love for others and wanting to protect those that one holds dear can bring about a strength that had defeated him for the first time in his life. He'd been surprised by his opponent, a boy his own age; a ninja of the Hidden Leaf who, previously, Gaara had been completely uninterested in even knowing the name of. Now, he would never forget it: Uzumaki Naruto.
Since that day, he'd learned that even simple acts of kindness on his part, along with much patience, went a long way in helping to overcome the fears and malice of his fellow villagers. Since his father's death, Suna's high council had still not chosen a new kazekage, but word was that their own Sabaku no Gaara was in consideration. It had caused quite an outrage amongst the elders, but he did have a few who supported him; who realized that he'd begun to change. There were no more incidents of villagers turning up missing, children didn't cling to their parents or burst into tears when passing him on the street... He was one of their top shinobi who could be relied upon to complete some of the highest ranked assignments and, above all, protect their village.
Sometimes he didn't even know why he went to such lengths for these people, the same ones who had either made his childhood miserable or stood by and done nothing but watch it happen.
They should all suffer the pain that we felt. We should make them pay in blood, Shukaku told him. Yet, deep inside, he knew that if he led a life of destruction, the pain in his heart would never be healed. By working together with the same people who had shunned him, starting to earn their trust and learning to forgive them, he found himself wanting to protect them - to ensure that the warmth which had started to grow in his heart would not fade.
He had begun to love his village and all who resided in it, and though it was a slow process, more and more they were learning to accept and respect him.
It was strange, he thought, that such a feeling was almost contagious. Sometimes he felt as though if he cared too much he would stretch himself too thin and risk losing everything. But then he would swear to become that much stronger so that he would never let those who needed him down.
Even now, as he sat upon the Hokage monument in Konoha, he felt the same blossoming love for these people, most of whom he had never met. But they were all important to Naruto who'd pledged to someday become etched into the great stone mountain on which he perched, and that was all it took to make these people precious to him as well.
"Gaara," came a familiar voice from behind him. He'd sensed her presence moments ago so he was not startled by his sister and teammate Temari. "The meeting's starting soon. Have you eaten anything yet?"
"No," he replied, continuing to stare off into the distance.
"Gaara, you need to take better care of yourself."
Though his sister often nagged him, he knew it was because she cared. It wasn't long ago when no one told Gaara what to do, lest they feared for their lives. It was a welcomed change, despite the minor annoyance.
"Where would you recommend?"
"Shikamaru took me to Ichiraku the other day. It was the best ramen I've ever had."
"Ramen, huh?" he contemplated, standing and glancing over his shoulder toward the young woman. "Are you hungry?"
"No, Shikamaru invited me to have Korean BBQ with his team earlier."
"Has he introduced you to his parents yet?"
"What?! Gaara, stop that! I only spend so much time with him because he amuses me. That's all! Gosh, you're getting as bad as Kankurou!" she shouted, yet her blush betrayed her. Gaara was well aware of how Temari always volunteered for any mission that took her near Konoha, near her amusing friend Nara Shikamaru. Both he and their brother Kankurou could see that, despite their constant bickering, they liked each other, but neither one would admit it. If anyone was amused, it was Temari's two brothers.
"Where is Kankurou?" Gaara idly asked.
"He said he'd be helping the little Academy runts with shuriken practice. Don't worry; I'll go over there soon to make sure he's on time. You know how distracted he gets when he's with them."
"Mm."
Despite Kankurou's serious and brash demeanor, there lurked a kind-hearted young man with a soft spot for kids. It had only developed recently, and even he denied that it existed. Back home, he spent much of his free-time tutoring the aspiring Sand-nin. He claimed it was his duty to ensure that each of Suna's shinobi reached their full potential, thereby ensuring a stronger nation.
'If that were true, why waste time helping the young Leaf-nin?' Gaara thought, though aloud he said, "Which way is that ramen shop?"
"Just beyond those buildings," Temari explained, pointing a finger in the general direction. Without so much as a goodbye, Gaara dispersed himself in a whirlpool of sand and was gone.
"Irasshai!" greeted the shop's gruff owner as the young shinobi entered. "What can I get ya?"
"Beef ramen...please," he ordered, remembering to add his last word, one that Temari had long-since suggested he adapt to saying. He'd found that it had a somewhat positive effect and tried to use it when it occurred to him, though it did not yet come naturally.
It certainly was a small shop. There were only six stools on which to sit and two were already taken. Sitting dead-center were a boy with blonde spiked hair and a pale girl wearing a thick grey coat.
Gaara took the gourd from his back, setting it in the corner before taking a seat to the right of the boy who was so involved in eating his meal that he was oblivious to all else, including the blushing girl to his left who kept sneaking embarrassed glances at him between bites.
"Naruto," Gaara said after a moment. The boy continued to finish his bowl by drinking the last of the broth, then setting it atop the five others stacked in front of him with a loud satisfied sigh. Only after that did he glance over.
"Gaara…?" the blonde asked in a stunned stupor. It didn't take long for it to pass, however, and his face lit up with excitement. "Gaara! Hey! What are you doing in Konoha?"
"You don't know?" he asked. After a solemn shake of the blonde's head, Gaara explained. "The countries of Wind and Fire are modifying their treaty. My team was sent to ensure that Sunagakure's best interests are met."
"Oh…? Eh, sounds boring, if you ask me. So that's why there have been so many strangers around…"
"The path to becoming a kage involves training in politics as well as jutsu."
"Ehh??" shouted the surprised boy.
"H-He's right, Naruto-kun," chimed the soft-spoken girl.
"Mm… I guess Oba-san is always doing lots of paperwork and having lots of meetings…" he contemplated aloud.
"Oba-san?" Gaara asked.
"N-Naruto-kun calls Hokage-sama 'Oba-san'," the meek girl explained.
"Mm!" Naruto confirmed. "She may look young, but she's really an old lady!" Naruto whispered into his ear. After chuckling to himself for a moment, his eyes shot wide. "Oh! I forgot! Hinata-chan! This is Sabaku no Gaara. Gaara, this is Hyuuga Hinata. We just got back from a mission today with Shino-san! I invited him too, but he said he didn't like ramen! Can you believe that? I always said that guy was weird."
Gaara leaned forward to meet the young girl's gaze, bowing slightly. 'I've seen her before... During the Chuunin Exams, wasn't it?'
The girl's eyes, which held the unique paleness of the Hyuuga clan, regarded him nervously upon first glance. Gaara caught himself staring deep into those eyes, perhaps longer than was polite, until there surfaced a look he knew quite well—fear. She quickly tried to mask it, smiling politely, but he had already seen what her true feelings toward him were in that brief second. It was a look he'd seen often, but this time he felt his heart sink just a little bit in his chest.
"Here you are!" said the owner, placing a steaming bowl in front of Gaara, distracting him from his thoughts. Turning his attention to the food, he took a pair of wooden chopsticks from the holder on the counter, broke them apart, and lifted a few strands of the limp noodles into the air. After a moment of letting them cool, he carefully sucked them into his mouth.
"Ichiraku ramen is the best, isn't it?!" Naruto stated more than asked.
Gaara contemplated the taste in his mouth. The broth certainly was rich and flavorful, and the noodles were cooked perfectly, being neither too soggy nor hard. Indeed, it was the best ramen he'd ever had, though the food was not his favorite. He gave a simple nod of his head to Naruto as he dug in for another bite.
"Owner-san! This is for the check. I'll get both of my friends' too!"
"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata protested.
"It's okay! My treat!"
"Doumo," Gaara said between bites.
"Naruto-kun, arigatou gozaimasu!" Hinata squeaked, bowing much deeper than was necessary as Gaara noticed, regarding her out of the corner of his eye.
"Gaara! Good luck with your meeting! Don't fall asleep!" Naruto shouted, waving as he ducked out of the shop, leaving Gaara and the blushing girl alone with their free bowls of ramen.
'Only you would fall asleep, Naruto,' Gaara thought to himself. Turning back to his bowl, he continued to eat while a silence engulfed the restaurant. Normally, silence did not bother Gaara. In fact, he preferred it. But for some unknown reason, this time it did. It began to sit like a heavy weight all around him, yet he was not sure of how to relieve it, why it was bothering him.
"Gaara…san?" the girl began after several moments, releasing the tension between them. Immediately, Gaara felt better, though he could not explain why.
He turned his full attention to the dark-haired girl, now able to fully see her without Naruto's obstruction. Her complexion was lighter even than his, he noticed—not that she let much of her skin show. Her indigo hair was a stark contrast to the rest of her, but her clothes were dark as well, complimenting it. She sat on the stool, her legs pressed firmly together, her arms tightly to her sides, as if she were trying to appear as small as possible. As soon as his eyes met hers, hers wandered anywhere else.
"Yes?"
"Um…I-I didn't know that you knew Naruto-kun. He really does make friends wherever he goes." She seemed to take comfort in that fact, he noticed.
"Yes. His simplicity is contagious," Gaara remarked, turning his attention away from the shy girl and taking another bite of ramen, but not before seeing a small smile grace her pink lips.
"I suppose I should get ready. I'll see you at the conference, it looks like," Hinata said, standing. It was the first thing she'd calmly and confidently said all lunch.
"Why would you be there?" Gaara asked. Hinata blinked and suddenly seemed unsure of herself once again. Gaara had been told that he sometimes came off as too harsh and decided to reword his question upon seeing her reaction. "I'm just curious. I was under the impression that the conference was limited to representatives from the Hidden Villages of Sand and Leaf and select lords from our respective countries."
"Um," Hinata began, glancing to the floor, her eyes darting across the dusty floor boards as she answered. "My father, who was invited to attend, is the head of the Hyuuga clan, and since I am his successor he wants me present…" she softly explained. "I'm sorry; I know I don't really belong there. It's not like I have anything to contribute, but I couldn't say no to my father, and-"
Somehow it was painful to hear the girl berate herself. "It's good that you're going," Gaara interrupted, earning him the startled young girl's eye contact again. "If you will be the head of your family, it will be good experience for you."
"Yes, I suppose you're right," she said, giving him a weak smile and lowering her gaze once again.
"Besides," Gaara began. "It will be nice to not be the only one there who is new to this," he said, though after he did, he was unsure of why. He rarely divulged his insecurities, even to his closest comrades. This girl was practically a stranger.
"Eh? This is your first time attending a big conference like this?"
"…Yes." Yes, this was the first time that his village had ever counted on him to do something other than be a trump card or a weapon when sending him abroad. Temari and Kankurou had often been allowed to attend meetings with their father, Yondaime Kazekage, but never him. Too dangerous, they would say. Volatile, he'd heard them call him once. And, sadly, it had been true. But now, it looked like they were finally starting to see him in a new light.
"Um…I…well, uh…" the girl stuttered. Normally, Gaara would have been annoyed with her stammering, but for some reason, with her it didn't bother him. "Good bye!"
"I will see you there."
'The heiress to the Hyuuga clan…such a flustered girl.' As Gaara recalled from the Chuunin Exam preliminary matches, she had fought her cousin. Those were the days that Gaara regretted the most. He had allowed his demon to have great control over him, and Hyuuga Neji had excited Shukaku with his powerful display. Gaara hadn't shown any concern for Neji's opponent; the girl who he watched intently as she left now. In fact, he remembered wishing that Neji had killed her instead of just sending her into emergency care.
She had been weak back then, not deserving of life, as he used to think. Now he thought much differently. However, it was obvious to Gaara, as it was to Neji then, that Hinata was not the best suited to lead her clan.
'How suited is a demon to be Kazekage?' he idly thought. 'Perhaps we're somewhat alike, her and I, both of us working toward goals which others deem us unfit for,' he began to wonder. 'Maybe I could help her… But, she was afraid of me. I want to show her that she doesn't have to be. Then maybe she'll accept my help. But how can I show her?' Gaara soon found himself looking for another excuse to meet with Hinata again. But how? The conference was no good…they weren't there to talk. Maybe…yes. Maybe something like that might work…
Remembering to thank the Ichiraku owner for the meal, Gaara secured his gourd across his back and headed for the conference hall, all the while formulating his plan.
Translations/Term Definitions...in no particular order:
- Shukaku: The name of the one-tailed demon which is sealed inside of Gaara in the Japanese version. Not sure if they kept it the same for the dub.
- Ichiraku: Naruto's favorite restaurant in Konoha, a small ramen shop which is said to have the best ramen ever.
- Konoha: In English, Leaf Village.
- Suna: In English, Sand Village.
- Sunagakure: In English, Hidden Village in the Sand.
- Kage: Literally, I think it translates into 'shade' or 'shadow,' but in Naruto it is the head ninja of the entire village.
- Hokage: The leader of Konoha.
- Kazekage: The leader of Suna.
- Countries of Wind & Fire: Sunagakure is located in the Country of Wind, Konohagakure (Hidden Village of the Leaf) in the Country of Fire. Most large countries have a hidden ninja village.
- Oba-san: In English, it would be the equivalent of 'old lady' or 'old hag.' The fact that Naruto uses it to address his village's leader like this is quite an insult, but that's Naruto for you. In his defense, Tsunade does use an age-concealing technique, and though she is in her fifties she makes herself look like she's in her early thirties. Naruto knows this and has since given her the nickname.
- Irasshai: In English, it means 'welcome,' a shortened version of irasshaimase which means 'how may I help you' or 'welcome to the establishment.' It is said by an employee of a shop to welcome its customers in Japan.
- Jutsu: Literally translated as 'art' or 'means;' in Naruto they are ninja techniques.
- -san: A suffix attached to names in Japan, somewhat casual but still denoting respect for the person whose name it is attached to. Similar to 'Mr.' or 'Mrs./Ms./Miss.'
- -kun: Same as above, except it is much more casual and usually addressed to younger boys.
- -sama: Denotes much respect, moreso than 'Mr.' or 'Mrs./Ms./Miss.'
- -chan: Similar to '-kun' but usually addressed toward girls.
- I should also like to note that the elimination of a suffix and just using one's name also shows closeness between the two people using it...either that, or it is an insult, as if you had no respect for the person. In Naruto, the emphasis on suffixes tends to not have as great an emphasis as in other animes, or Japan itself, however.
- Sabaku no Gaara: Gaara of the Desert/Sand.
- Doumo: "Thanks."
- Arigatou Gozaimasu: "Thank you very much."
- Chuunin Exams: Exams held in Konoha, hosting Genin (the lowest rank of ninjas) from all allied countries who wish to try and attain the higher rank of Chuunin, which would be the equivalent of squad leader.
- Names in Japanese are said family name first, given name second. This is opposite of the American and Western European way, given name first and family name last. Since Naruto is made in Japan (and because the Japanese version is, in my opinion, better) I kept it the Japanese way.
