We take three steps forward, three steps back
Kids in Glass Houses
Clare POV
Nothing was said in the car on the way home. Surprisingly my mom didn't ask any questions or give any small talk. She left me to my thoughts, which I was grateful for. I still couldn't grasp my head around what had happened today. As soon as lock down was over, I rang my mom to come and get me. Whilst I was waiting, Fitz was being brought out by two police officers and being shoved into a car. Eli came up behind me and gave me his blazer. I hadn't realised how cold I was until then.
He didn't say anything, just stood next to me. I don't think there was anything either of us could say. After a while, he wiped of some stray tears that had seeped through my eyes.
"Eli, I- I was so worried." My voice cracked. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
"I know." He said. We stood there for a few minutes just in each others embrace.
"But, Eli, I don't know if I can be with you, if this is how you react when things like this happen every time." I said, as I untangled myself from him. Luckily, before it became awkward, my mother pulled up in front of the school. I kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye.
I didn't understand how this day could turn around in an instant. Just this morning was when Eli and I had kissed, and now I was breaking up with him after he was almost stabbed. I remembered what Alli had said to me, earlier at my house.
"When did your life become West Side Story?"
She was right, my life was a mess. After everything with KC, I should have known Eli was too good to be true.
When we got home, my father wasn't in.
"Mom, where's dad?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Where do you think he is? He's working, again." She sighed, with a hint of a harsh tone.
"Mom, is everything okay?" I asked, concerned.
"Yes, I'm sorry honey, I'm just stressed organising the fundraiser tomorrow, that's all. Anyway you better get packing to go to your grandmothers tomorrow!" She tried to sound cheery, but she didn't fool me.
"Okay, mom just… if something is wrong; you'll tell me won't you?"
"Of course I will." She smiled.
Lie. I thought. Ever since my mom and dad started fighting they wouldn't tell me anything. I'd asked my mom before what was going on between her and my father, and it was dismissed without a reasonable answer. She still sees me as the five year old, innocent. Vulnerable. Ever since everything happened with Darcy, my mom and dad love that I'm the angel child and will do anything to keep it that way. They would make sure that I stayed that way, even if it meant hiding their marriage problems from me and themselves.
After I had finished packing, I went downstairs to talk to my mom, who was on her laptop,
"Hey, mom, I've finished packing." I said, sitting down on the sofa next to her. She was e-mailing a lady from church, whose name I recognised, about her fundraiser tomorrow evening.
"That's good honey" She said, not looking up.
"Mom, will you promise me something while I'm at grandma's?" I said after a long silence.
"Sure, honey, what is it?" She returned, her fingers still tapping the keys in front of her.
"Can you try and dad try and work out what is going on between you two?
"What do you mean; your father and I are doing fine." A stray tear rolled down my face as the lie my mother had just said rolled so easily off her tongue.
"Don't lie to me mom." My voice rose in volume.
"I'm not, darling."
"STOP! Just stop," I screamed. "You don't think I can hear you two yelling at each other when you come home from work, or before I go to school, or I go to bed? At the dinner table, nobody talks anymore. And don't think that I can't hear one of you sneaking downstairs after you think I'm asleep, so you can sleep on the sofa because you can't stand being in the same room as each other for more than five minutes. So mom, all I'm asking is for you to talk to dad, and then tell me the truth about what is happening." I ended softly.
I hadn't realised that when I'd been talking, my mom had started crying.
"Mom, I'm so-"
"No, Clare you're right. I didn't want you to get upset about me and your dad, so I took the wrong way to resolve the situation, obviously." She hugged me. "I'm sorry Clare-Bear." She wiped off her tears then straightened her clothes. "Honey, why don't you get some sleep, you need to be up early to get to your grandmother's by noon tomorrow."
"Good idea. Night mom!" I gave her a kiss and headed upstairs. I sighed as the light from my phone lit up just as my head collided with my pillow.
NEW MESSAGE: (1)
It was probably Alli, upset about drew, but It could wait until the morning, I was sure she'd understand. Still, I snatched the phone from my bedside table and clicked on the 'open message' button.
I was wrong. It was from Eli, not Alli.
From: Eli
C, I'm sorry. R u still mad me? E
I didn't reply. I didn't need his drama in my life right now when everything was going on with my parents. His drama was too much for me to handle, which was why what happened at the dance hap tipped me off the edge. It would work out better for both of us if we were apart from each other over break for us to think about what had happened. Maybe we had rushed into something that wasn't even meant to happen.
After half an hour of tossing and turning, not being able to sleep, a bright light flickered on again.
From: Eli
I guess that's a yes then. C-Bear I need 2 explain. In person. 2mrw, 12pm?
As much as I was annoyed with him right now, I couldn't leave him standing there tomorrow, hoping I was going to turn up when I wasn't. I had to leave for my grandmothers early tomorrow morning. That would be the wrong way to handle things.
To: Eli
Leaving 4 g-ma's 8.
After that, I turned off my phone, shutting out the world.
