The Hollow Bastion Fan Fiction Academy
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Rather, SquareEnix owns it. I also don't own the PPC, who make a brief appearance sometime in the fic. Also, this is an official OFU, started with permission from Miss Cam, the head of OFUM.
Chapter One: It begins… Again.
"There, finished," said a brown-haired, hazel-eyed girl, sitting at a computer desk with a proud smile on her face.
19-year old Michelle "Shelly" Cooper had just finished the latest chapter to her masterpiece work of fan fiction, "Heart's Kingdom." Her work of art chronicled the touching and passionate epic romance of Myca Hikari--the half-angel twin brother of the Nobody Zexion, who had 'golden hair and eyes like amethysts'--and Riku, the 'poor, misunderstood youth locked in Kingdom Hearts.' Smiling widely, she looked over her work, and discovered no errors (that she could see, anyway).
'This should bring in the reviews,' she thought. Her love epic would undoubtedly touch the hearts of the readers, bringing them to tears. Slowly, she moved the mouse to the 'Update' button on the screen, but she briefly paused, struck by a sudden sense of dejá-vú.
'Why am I hesitating,' she thought, her finger still poised over the left mouse button and the cursor set above the 'Submit' button on Fiction for Fans, the website she always posted on. She didn't normally hesitate with posting new chapters—more often than not, reviewers begged, pleaded, demanded and even threatened that new chapters get posted soon, so she often complied. But this…
'It's… like I'm expecting something to happen…' Shaking off the strange feeling, she made to left-click on the mouse to select the Update button--
"Oro…this one doesn't recommend clicking that button, that I don't," said a voice from behind her.
Shelly froze in her seat—she KNEW that voice, even if the inflection was different.
"You'll really end up regretting it if you do," came another voice, the tone indicating irritation. Shelly gulped at that voice—she'd have to be DEAF to not recognize that one. Slowly, she spun her seat around so she was facing the two intruders.
She knew it—she just KNEW it! Sora and Riku were standing behind her, Riku in his KH!-Dark form and the purple-eyed, long-haired Keyblade wielder dressed kind of like a Naruto-verse refugee--
Wait a second…Sora's eyes weren't purple, and his hair wasn't long enough to be tied back in a ponytail! Plus, Riku didn't LOOK like that anymore, let alone go into his Dark form!
"W-who…"
The Sora look-a-like smiled. "This one's name is Kaze. This one's companion is called 'Nisemono' by a select few, but he is better known as the Riku Replica from Chain of Memories, that he is."
"Feh," muttered 'Nisemono', looking annoyed at all the pleasantries. "Get to the point, Kaze. We have a schedule to keep, remember?"
Shelly stared at the two dumbly. 'This isn't happening, this isn't happening…' she thought frantically.
"Maa, maa… this one is getting to it, that I am!" Turning to the stunned female in front of him, Kaze smiled almost sadly. "You are…Riku no Tenshi, correct?"
Still stunned, Shelly nodded. 'Not happening, I'm NOT having a conversation with a Sora-look-a-like and the Riku-clone!'
"We're here to tell you that your…work…has been noticed," said Nisemono, the venom in the word 'work' making Shelly flinch.
"Hai. Your fan-fiction has been given the rate of 'Bad; Author has Potential', and your presence is 'humbly requested,'" said Kaze, his tone going cold and his eyes shifting to a hard, almost steely shade of blue.
'Huh? Who IS this 'Kaze' kid, why does he talk so funny, and why are his eyes changing colors?' thought Shelly. Aloud, she asked, "My presence is requested where?"
"The Hollow Bastion Fan Fiction Academy," said Nisemono, his aqua eyes narrowed in a death glare aimed at the girl. "Before you say anything stupid, we KNOW the world's not called 'Hollow Bastion' anymore—it's complicated."
"The WHAT?" Shelly stared at the two in disbelief. 'I write perfectly fine! Even is this wasn't a dream, I don't need help!'
"The Hollow Bastion Fan Fiction Academy, or HBFA, is an official fan-fiction university, where authors like you are taught how to writeproperly and to not fuck with our canon. Kaze, will you continue?" said Nisemono, his tone hinting at anger and boredom—he had obviously said this before.
Shelly barely noticed Kaze nodding, and his wince at Nisemono's choice of words.
"As a student of HBFA, you will be required to take several courses to improve your knowledge of canon, your grammar skills, and various other pressing matters, that you will," said Kaze, sounding as if he was reciting something.
"That's right. Now, you just have to fill out a simple form, and we'll be on our merry way," said Nisemono, his death-glare still centered on Shelly.
"Huh?"
A manila folder was roughly shoved into her hands. On the cover of the folder was the Kingdom Hearts emblem, but instead of the words 'Kingdom Hearts', it said 'Hollow Bastion Fan Fiction Academy' in the same script. Opening the folder, she took out an official-looking document and read the first line.
Application Form: Hollow Bastion Fan Fiction Academy
"Okay, this is bullshit! Why should I fill this out, anyways," said the irate girl, glaring at the two in front of her. "I'm a great author! I don't need this, even if I WEREN'T dreaming!"
"Listen, girl-"
"Now, Nise," said Kaze, trying to calm the Riku-Replica. "She said she was dreaming this, correct?"
Nisemono nodded, then smirked, getting where Kaze was going. Looking at that girl with that same almost-unholy smirk, Nisemono said in a cool tone, "Okay, you're dreaming then. If you fill out that form, then we'll go away, your dream will be over, and none of this will have happened."
Shelly blinked, and then looked between the form and the duo in front of her. Then, in a flat-sounding tone, she said one simple sentence.
"Do you have a pen?"
She was handed a ballpoint pen, and she quickly got to work, filling out the form as 'honestly' as she could.
The first few were easy.
Name:Michelle 'Shelly' Cooper
Pen Name: Riku no Tenshi
Age:19
Gender: Female
Height: 5' 6''
Weight:
125 lbs
Body Type: (Please circle one)
Thin
Athletic
Curvy
(applies to females))
Husky
Kuja-esque (applies to males and
females)
General Appearance: (please try to be brief, and specify
features—eye shape, face shape, and skin tone. If the
generalization can lead to a 'race' specification (Asian,
Caucasian, etc., then list said 'race'.) Caucasian; slightly boyish
features
Hair color:Sapphire Blue
Eye color: Ruby Red
After lying about her hair and eye color, things got a little more complicated…
Race:
(please circle one)
Human
Disney-animal
Heartless(Please
specify which type of Heartless)
Nobody(Specify whether a Lower or
Higher Nobody. If Lower, then specify which type.)
She quickly circled 'Human' and moved on to the next bit.
Job: (circle one)
Mage
Knight
Other (please specify):
Not knowing what to put there, she simply circled 'Mage', and continued with the form.
Favorite
Genre(s): (circle all that apply)
Horror/Suspense
Drama
Romance
Action/Adventure
Comedy
Angst
Parody
Favorite Pairing: (name only one)
Shelly had to think about that one. There were some many pairings she liked! Squall/Cloud, Seph/Cloud, Tidus/Wakka…well…if she had to choose ONE…
Favorite Pairing: (name only one) Riku/Sora
Favorite Character:
Well, that was an easy one! Riku! No one was cooler (or hotter) than Riku!
Favorite
Character: Riku
Why: OMG, he's sooo hot!
Least Favorite Character:
Again, she had to answer another easy question. She HATED Kairi! That little slut—trying to steal HER Riku!
Least Favorite Character: Kairi
Why: She's a slut! I hates her!
Lust Object (if any):
That made her blink. Wasn't that who the favorite character was supposed to be?
Lust Object (if any): Riku
Have you ever written slash/yaoi/shounen-ai? Y/N
Do you even
know the difference between yaoi and shounen-ai?
(please circle your response)
Of course, I'm not stupid!
Um…there's a difference?
Have you ever
bashed a character? Y/N
If so, whom?Kairi
and Naminé, they're sooo stupid!
Have you ever written a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu? Y/N
That confused Shelly to no end. 'What are those supposed to be? Better answer 'no', just to be safe.'
Have you ever
written a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu? Y/N
Do you even
know what a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu is? Y/N
Use spell check/grammar check much? Y/N
What sort of n00b did these guys think she was? Of course she used a spell-check/grammar-check—she didn't want nameless flamers. Looking over the form, she sighed in relief. A relatively short form, thank god…she was almost finished.
By signing this, I hereby agree to give up writing Kingdom Hearts fan-fiction until I graduate from HBFA and get my license. Any pain received during detentions or other reasons is my fault, and I will not press charges against the HBFA.
X (Your signature goes here, btw.)
She openly goggled at the paragraph. Give up writing fan fiction? No way! And what was up with that 'your signature goes here, btw' crap? Even a complete blockhead would know that you sign at the 'X'. Hurriedly, she signed her name and placed the form back into its folder, only to have the folder quickly snatched up by Nisemono.
"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" said Nisemono while opening the folder to take a look at the form. He raised his eyebrow at a few of the questions and shuddered at others, before closing the folder again and handing it to Kaze, who simply tucked the folder into his jacket.
"This one thanks you for your cooperation, Miss Tenshi. Welcome to HBFA."
With Kaze's final sentence, the pair turned to leave. Shelly's eyes widened when she saw what looked like the Kingdom Hearts logo embroidered upon the back of Kaze's gray hooded sweater…but much like the HBFA emblem, this crown-topped heart also had something different written across it—the letters 'PPC' in the same script as the words on the original Kingdom Hearts logo, as well as what appeared to be a little potted cactus within the crown. As Kaze and Nisemono apparently disappeared into thin air, Shelly found herself feeling dizzy.
"What's—happening…" She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence as her world was filled with darkness.
A Note from the Author: Greetings, new and old faces alike. As you can see, I have started the process of not only reworking older chapters, but adding new ones entirely. I now have begun reworking what chapters from the beginning that will stay, as well as writing new ones so that the pace of the story will be slowed down a bit.
Taking into account the time that has passed, I will take extra care to pay attention to canon as it is by the time KH2 comes into play. If I mis-characterize any character, then forgive me—it's simply been a while.
As you can see, the application form has undergone a few changes. This is for two key reasons: to avoid confusion between a person's favorite character and the one that they are most attracted to (if any), and should decide to draw ANYTHING that involves events within the story, then enough information can given for a semi-accurate portrayal of said characters.
I will begin accepting new applications from new and old faces. The application itself is in bold—just copy and paste, and send them to me via e-mail.
