Haha so I've reached a new personal record. This is the least amount of reviews I've ever gotten and I'm actually okay with it! Gotta have one of these I figure!! So, thank you !! And thanks to everyone who read and will finish it! Hope you all enjoy.


With Spence in his hospital room and the rest of the team now on their way to the diner across the street, JJ was left standing awkwardly in the hallway outside of Reid's room. She knew the next step would be to actually enter the little room but it was still such a difficult thing to do. Actually, she wasn't entirely sure why she had volunteered to stay at the hospital now. At the time, it had seemed like the perfect way to avoid the stares of her peers but now it seemed a better option than this.

But why?!

Why was she so afraid of going in there? It was Reid for goodness sake! She had always felt so comfortable around him even though he hadn't always felt the same about her. JJ had been aware of the small crush Spencer had had on her years back. Not to mention his natural tendency to be shy and uncomfortable around people in general and especially women. She had always found it cute, though. It was just Spencer.

But as time passed, his crush faded and a strong relationship had taken its place. She valued Reid's friendship tremendously. Being the friend of a genius was surprisingly easy and she relished how he never seemed to judge anyone and could always find a reason to be happy. To smile.

She lowered her head and felt sadness nearly choke her. How could he retain that ability? How could he ever be the same Reid she knew and loved?

Then it occurred to her: That's what she was afraid of. She was terrified that she would see him and instead of seeing her sweet, caring Spence, she would see a broken Agent Reid and know that she had a hand in the transformation. The others didn't understand because they were innocent in the matter, JJ was not.

"Ma'am?" someone said next to her, making her jump. The nurse recoiled her outstretched hand upon seeing JJ's reaction. "I'm sorry if I startled you, I just wanted to let you know that you're more than welcome to sit with Agent Reid."

JJ forced a smile. "Oh, thank you."

"No problem," the nurse replied. "I just wasn't sure if you knew he could have visitors. He's doing very well, actually. The drugs are almost completely out of his system and his wounds are healing nicely with no sign of infection. The only concern the doctor has is possible illnesses as a resort of his weakened immune system on top of the terrible treatment he was giving but we've yet to see anything significant happen in that area…"

JJ tried to maintain her smile but this was too much, too fast. She had only been told that Reid was going to be alright and was doing well, but she hadn't heard the blunt details. The nurse was nice, of course, but JJ didn't want to hear any of this.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear," the nurse said then as though she could hear JJ's thoughts. "I'm sure the doctor will explain all of this to you in a proper manner. You just seemed concerned so I thought I'd try to comfort you…"

"Oh, no… you did," JJ said quickly, truly appreciating the woman's intentions. "I'm just… well, it's been a long week."

"I'm sure it has," she said kindly. "But the good news is it's over now and the sweet young man in there is going to be just fine."

JJ smiled and for the first time, it was sincere. The older nurse had a way about her that did comfort JJ. And more importantly, she was right; the past few days were over and Reid was alright, something none of them had thought possible at one point. Guilt still ran through her veins violently but it was less noticeable.

"Well I better get going," the nurse said. "It was nice talking to you, Agent…"

"JJ," she responded. "Everyone calls me JJ."

"Well, Agent JJ. It was a pleasure talking to you and just for the record, I think if you see him for yourself, you'll feel better."

The nurse then turned away and left JJ standing there feeling as though she had just been profiled. How could everyone see that she was avoiding seeing Reid? JJ figured that the woman must have seen other friends and family members of patients behave like this. It was the best explanation she had, anyway. That or the woman needed to be recruiting for the BAU.

Regardless, there would be no more avoiding. JJ was going into that room and was going to see her co-worker, friend and someone she even considered close enough to be family. JJ took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, and walked into the room.

As far as she could tell, he was still asleep. His head was turned away from her slightly so that all she could see was a mess of brown hair which both comforted her and put her on edge. She wanted to see his face but was afraid it wouldn't be the face she remembered.

She took a few more steps into the room to where a few chairs were set up. She positioned herself in front of the one closest to his bed as though she was going to sit down, but didn't. She wasn't ready to sit just yet.

She could see a sliver of one of his eyes now and confirmed that he was still asleep, which calmed her some. She had time to adjust before she had to talk to him. She let her eyes wander over his frail-looking body. There were bruises on his wrists which lied limply by his sides and he somehow seemed thinner than when she had left him, but that may have simply been the work of the over-sized hospital gown.

Other than those two obvious ailments, he seemed normal for what she could see. The revelation brought her comfort and she finally decided it was time to sit. As she went to carefully slide in her chair, her purse slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor with a loud thud and she looked up in time to see Reid jolt awake as a result.

Guilt, once again, pulsed through her body as she watched bleary search the room and slowly make their way towards her.

"I'm so sorry, Spence," she said softly, still feeling horrible. "Want me to leave?" she added as she began to stand up.

"JJ?" he said quietly, his voice cracking slightly from sleepiness. "Hey! No, you're fine. Stay, please," he said, sounding legitimately pleased to see her. She lowered herself back down and tried to put on a sincere smile.

"How have you been?" he asked, also relaxing back into his pillows.

She forced the smile to go wider. "Good, good. Just… well, relieved to have you back safe, you know."

Reid bit his lips slightly in the way he always did when things were a little uncomfortable, but it actually made JJ feel more comfortable than before.

"Yeah," he said finally, looking away. "I wanted to talk to you about that…"

JJ's stomach did a 180 and she also had to look away. "No, Spence, it's not necessary. Look, I'm so sorry that…"

"JJ," Reid said then in a stern voice that she very rarely heard. "That's not what I wanted to talk about. Well, I guess it kind of is but what I wanted to say is that I'm sorry."

JJ stopped everything at that moment and looked at him, completely baffled. What in the world did he have to be sorry about?

"Look, I heard what happened to you and I cannot tell you how sorry I am," he said with a face that told JJ he actually felt as guilty as she did. "We should have waited for back-up like you said, but… I don't know, I guess I was sure we could keep him there long enough for the others to figure out we were there and everything would go down smoothly… But that didn't happen at all, did it?" he finished with that sad smile that was also a signature of Reid's.

"The point is, we should have stuck together like you said and I'm sorry I left you the way I did. It will never happen again," he said, then looked her in her eyes in a way that only Spencer could pull off. "I promise."

She suddenly felt like crying. After all these hours of feeling unbelievable guilt for what she had done to him, it turned out he felt the same for her!

"Spence," she said finally as a few tears betrayed her and rolled down her cheeks. "Listen to me, do not feel bad. Please. I'm sure there are things that both of us could have done to prevent some of the things that happened, or maybe even all of it, but it doesn't matter now," she said, both to Reid and to herself. "It's over and we are both okay. In the future, yes, we will stick together but for now, let's just be happy we still have that option."

Reid then smiled and it was in that moment that JJ knew everything was going to be okay because it was a smile that belonged to the Reid she had known and loved for years. Perhaps his face was more sunken and pale and he seemed more world-weary than before, but he was still her Spencer and she knew that with time he would get back to normal.

Or at least close enough.

END