August 4th
My name is Sarah Michelle Moore. I'm sixteen years old, and I go to Rael City High School. I live with my mom, Marie, and my dad, Rodrick. Mom is a nurse, and Dad works at the bank.
I'm starting this journal because I was recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Basically, I see and hear things that aren't really there. My therapist said that keeping a journal might help, since it seems like some of my hallucinations are in reaction to my emotional state and how I tend to keep them bottled up. He also said that it might help if I write down or draw my hallucinations. Some of them have been scary, and some of them haven't. Hearing things scares me almost as much as hearing them.
I go to school soon. I'm going to take my journal with me. I haven't told my friends about my diagnosis, but then again, I don't have very many friends. Most of my friends left because they thought I was "too weird" to hang around. At least now I can tell them why I'm looking around my friends instead of at them, or why I'm talking to things they don't hear.
Okay, it's time to go to school, now. I'll write more if I get some free time.
I'm in my homeroom now. I like the classes I'm taking this year. I'm taking geology, art three, choir, English, computers two, advanced weight training, and psychology. All classes that I think I'll enjoy, even though I'm not a big fan of sports.
I caught up with a few of my old friends, and they say that they miss me. I'm going to tell them about my diagnosis during lunch. I think the summer made them realize that even if I'm "weird," they still like me and want to be my friend.
Bell's ringing. Got to go.
So, I'm home now. School went okay. My friends asked me a lot of questions about my schizophrenia. Some of them, I couldn't answer because I didn't know what to say. I need to ask Doc. My friends said that they hope that I'll get better, and I told them it wasn't like a cold. You don't just get better in time. It's a cancer. It won't go away until there's a cure, and right now, all we have is treatments. That's why I've been taking a couple different pills. My hallucinations haven't gone away or been reduced yet, but I am having an easier time focusing.
I really need to pick out some clothes. Even more, I need to go shopping. I need new clothes so bad. All of mine are boring. Just jeans and t-shirts. It sucks. I really need some dresses, maybe some shirt and blouse combos.
Ugh, my hand is starting to cramp. I'm out for now. I'll write to you later, if I find something I want to write about. Hopefully the Doc enjoys reading this.
