Author's Note: Here we are at episode two! Not much to say here but let's see who's voted off first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And to answer some reviews:
That British Guy: Thanks! The teams took a fair bit to get just right for what I have planned. And to answer your review on the special, I guess it is kinda sad.
Derick Lindsey: It was meant to be a surprise, Like Duncan in canon. Why he didn't do that is touched this chapter. Yep, this is going to be Mal's debut. Interesting thoughts on Matthew, but he is an interesting guy. As usual, you've touched upon a lot of stuff that I can only say wait and see. Sorry to say, but the plots won't get rolling until next chapter.
The main thing I wanna touch with your other review is by the eleven main characters, I meant the eleven that were in all three seasons so far. The thing with Shawn was a reference, not a cameo. And as you can see, Matthew isn't the kind of guy who cares if people like him.
Johnathen: Thanks! For your previous review, all villains get what's coming to them eventually.
yeezynight14: Luckily I've got about 25 more episodes of more. Noah was meant to be the big shocker.
Rouge Tundra: Thanks. Noah's always been good as a shocker. I like to keep elimination fodder to a minimum, so everybody's gotta do something. Sky's problem is with so many characters that can believably make it far, she tends to fall in the cracks. Will it happen again? Only one way to know. And I hate to say it, but this one might be a little Matthew-heavy also. I'd already written by the time I posted the first one, but I'll try and tone him down in the future.
TheChrisanthemum: I guess I can go ahead and say that he will take that role. Sierra, believe it or not is one of the three characters I'm making a huge gamble with, but that won't happen until later. You've hit the bullseye with Matthew though. He's just the guy that's there for you to hate.
Remaining Competitors:
Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot: Alejandro, Harold, Leshawna, Malcolm, Sierra, Staci
Team Omega: Duncan, Kitsune, Matthew, Mike, Tyler
Team Amazon: Heather, Scarlett, Sky, Victor, Zoey
Episode 02: Walk Like an Egyptian Part 2
"Let's take a few moments to review some of the features of our aircraft!" Chris opened from the Total Drama Jumbo Jet's first class seating area. "Safety is our number one priority," he continued over a shot of a panel falling off the side of the plane and a rat and raccoon chasing away from it. It was followed by a clip Matthew demonstrating the sleeping procedure in loser class as the host added "So please, remain seated with your seatbelt fastened at all times."
"The plane has one exit," Chris continued over the clip of him forcibly throwing Staci out the back of the jet, "located, here. As we explore exotic destinations," Sierra was shown slapping Malcolm's hand from the mummified animals, then Kitsune and Duncan ran screaming out of the pyramid; "take time to familiarize yourself with the local architecture," he finished over a clip of Staci pressing a button that dropped bandages on her, then Scarlett was shown forcing Heather out of the way of several spears that had shot out of a nearby wall.
"The world is our playground," the host said over a clip of Tyler falling face-first down the far slope of the pyramid. "But remember, refusal to sing will lead to immediate disqualification," Noah's outburst was shown. "When dividing into teams," Sierra and the members of Team Three were shown announcing their names, "be sure to give your crew a catchy handle," he finished as Tyler was shown being headbutted by the goat that Team Omega won.
"Upon arrival at our final destination, one lucky competitor will receive a parting gift to remember." The recap footage was replaced by a series of passports appearing on the screen a few at a time, each belonging to one of the contestants: Heather, Victor, and Sky; then Scarlett, Zoey, and Mike; then Matthew, Tyler, and Duncan; then Kitsune, Malcolm and Harold; and finally Leshawna, Sierra, Alejandro, and Staci. "One! Million! Dol-lars!" the host announced excitedly over a picture of some kind of cart overflowing with cash.
"So stow that carry-on baggage and lock those tray-tables in the upright position," Chris said as the camera cut back to him in first class, "we're taking off for one crazy ride!" The scene flashed to somewhere outside as the host rushed back into view. "Right here, right now, on Total!" a blaring note played as the shot pulled back to show a bit of the desert airstrip. "Drama!" the blaring note repeated as the nose of the plane was shown. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" the final two words were sung, and both jumbo jet and the nearby pyramids were shown in full.
XXXXX
[The sequence opens with a tilted shot of a stagelight swinging up and turning on in front of an airport control tower, followed by another light popping out of an overhead compartment along with a pair of oxygen masks; then a camera forcibly ejecting a raccoon from a wing engine and another camera bursting out of a suitcase, sending undergarments flying. A pair of white-skinned arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, which then flies down the aisle of first class seats. It passes a drink cart, then forces Chris to jump to the side as the camera flies into the cockpit.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine
[Chef is piloting the plane in the cockpit, bobbleheads of himself and the host sitting on the control panel. For a single frame he turns his head and glares at the camera before it passes through the windshield and out onto the runway, the silhouette of the CN Tower visible in the distance as the camera flies over and through several baggage carts.]
You guys are on my mind
[Fading through the whiteness of a baggage cart, the camera emerges close to the CN Tower. The camera flies up along it, the sun shining bright at its peak. The scene arcs downward towards a lake, and speeds forward into it with a splash.]
You asked me what I wanted to be
[The bubbles from the splash fade to show Noah underwater in his bathing suit, with crossed arms and a scowl on his face. He does nothing to stop himself from sinking, and the camera pans up to the surface.]
And now I think the answer is plain to see
[On the roof of the cabin of a boat woven from reeds, Scarlett is calmly looking down and writing something on a notepad.]
I wanna be...famous
[The camera pans down and to the right to where Sierra and Leshawna are having a slap fight as crocodiles leap out of the water on either side and snap their jaws. The boat leaves the screen, and on 'be' one of the reptiles winces; the camera moves back to the boat, revealing that it had crashed into an inflatable raft which Harold on. The raft begins to sink, and while Harold sinks the two girls reach for him at the same time, only to end up in another slap fight.]
I wanna live close to the sun
[The camera flashes to the Statue of Liberty, immediately cutting to the top of its head as Sky helps Victor climb to the top. He gives her a grateful smile.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won
[The couple stops with shock on their faces as Mike, sporting a dark grin and hair over one of his baggy eyes, suddenly runs past, pushing a terrified Duncan in a baby carriage. The punk opens his mouth in alarm as the comedian stops and launches the carriage straight into Staci, who had gotten down on all fours in their path. The carriage flips over, sending Duncan over the edge of the statue.]
Everything to prove
[The camera quick-pans to Matthew with a sneer on his face in a frozen setting. Duncan lands on the boy and knocks him down. The punk smirks at the hipster, who sends him a hate-filled glare.]
Nothin' in my way
I'll get there one day
[Another pan to the right shows Heather with a compact mirror in her hand and doing her make-up. Her eyes widen in alarm as she spots something in the reflection, and then she runs away. The camera pans to a polar bear glaring at the queen bee... which reveals itself to be Kitsune wearing a costume when the goofball takes of the head to giggle to herself.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous
[The camera zooms out to show a baby seal snarling at the goofball, who gives it a confused look until it attacks her and causes her to run away. The camera zooms in on the glacial background, and flashes over to Tyler and Alejandro surfing a rather large wave. The jock tries to double-point to the camera but he crashes into the charmer, sending both into the water.]
(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[Malcolm and Zoey were next, taking over-exaggerated steps along a certain British crosswalk as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet suddenly flew down the road, forcing both teens to duck in terror as the plane blew cars and trees past them. The scene changes again, now showing the entire cast in a human pyramid on top of the jet wearing parachute packs, singing the lyrics, and kicking their legs to the beat. On bottom are Alejandro, Sierra, Harold, Leshawna, Staci, and Malcolm. The second row consists of Heather, Scarlett, Zoey, Sky, and Victor. The third row is Noah, Matthew, Tyler, and Kitsune; while on top are Mike, looking like himself again, and Duncan.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The jet flies right past Big Ben, causing one face of its clock to spring off; the jet flies over the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, startling a very French mime into dropping a croissant; the jet flies past a rock balancing on a stone pillar, causing the rock to fall off and land in front of the camera with a cloud of dust.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The dust clears to show Mike and Duncan in close-up on top of the human pyramid, with the punk suspiciously eyeing the comedian. The camera then pans down to Sky and Victor as they smile at each other, then down again to Malcolm as a bird flies into his face, causing him to frown.]
[The lyrics end as the scene cuts to Chef Hatchet in the cockpit, looking above him with a scowl on his face. A guitar is strummed as the hulking pilot looks forward and turns the plane sharply to the left, and the last few whistling notes play as, back outside, the cast falls through the open air. Most soon deploy their parachutes and float down safely, the camera panning down as Matthew and Sierra arrive to show the majority of the cast lined up and smiling at the camera. The hipster lands on the far left end; to the right are Leshawna, Harold, Noah, Zoey, Mike, Sky, Victor, Scarlett, Heather, Duncan, Alejandro, and Sierra. Malcolm is sitting on his butt in front of Sky and Victor, the couple looking at the boy in concern. Tyler had landed on his stomach in front of Matthew, Leshawna, and Harold, and Kitsune had landed on her butt next to him in front of Noah, giving the camera a peace-sign. The jet speeds in for a landing behind them as the song ends, the logo for 'Total Drama World Tour' on its side. Only then does Staci finally land flat on her face in the middle of the group, causing everybody to avert their eyes from the camera and look down at her with surprise.]
XXXXX
The episode began with a shot of the harsh desert sun, the camera promptly panned down to the three teams standing below a tall checkered starting banner. To the left were the six members of Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot; Harold, Leshawna, Sierra, Malcolm, and Alejandro. In the middle was Team Amazon; Zoey, Scarlett, Heather, Sky, and Victor. And on the right was Team Omega; Matthew, Tyler, Kitsune, Duncan, and Mike. Each group stood before a round mat in their team's main color, upon which the reward they'd won last episode sat; the stick on gold, the camel on pink, the goat on blue.
"I see the team composed of mostly females gets pink as a color," Scarlett commented. "How stereotypical."
"Why the heck is our mat yellow?" Harold asked. "We're no cowards!"
"Chill dude," Malcolm said putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "That's gold. It means that Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot's in first place! An by the way, I'm not saying that every time."
"I am still in shock about Noah's departure," Victor commented. "Simply because he did not want to sing."
"You heard his last line," Heather said. "It's not like we lost anything important."
"Hey, if he wants to quit then let him," Matthew added. "All in all it's just one less person for me to beat."
"You think he's doin' okay by himself on that plane?" Kitsune asked.
\
The camera flashed to a shot of the jumbo jet before flashing to the first class area. Noah sat there reading a book.
"Are you sure you won't sing?" Chris said suddenly in the shot.
"Gah!" Noah yelled, dropping his book. "Don't sneak up on people like that!"
"I mean, I'll pay you," the host continued. "We're not above making deals with contestants."
"But I'm not a contestant," the bookworm retorted. "So you should probably go back to hosting everyone that still is."
Chris gave the boy an 'I'm watching you' gesture and left. Noah rolled his eyes and picked his book up off the floor.
\
"For the record," Sierra said as the camera flashed to her walking over to Kitsune, "all the Duncsune fans were devastated when you guys broke up. Both times. You two are totally the number one Total Drama couple."
"I was too," the fox lover admitted. "You want a scoop?" Sierra nodded excitedly. "I want him back, but after everything that's happened between us? I'm sure this is as one-sided as every other guy I've ever liked."
"Don't say that," the super fan said. "Duncan's crazy for you! Almost as much as I am for Harold."
"Well I'll believe it when I see it," Kitsune replied.
"Relationships are nothing but distractions from worthy goals," Matthew told the girls. "Breaking up with that future felon is the smartest thing you've ever done. Not that the bar was set that high."
Before the offended girl could reply, she was cut off by the sudden sound of cymbals clanging together. The shot cut behind the contestants to wear Chris, Chef, and a pair of white male interns were. All four men were dressed in stereotypical ancient Egyptian costumes, with Chris and Chef looking to be of higher class. Chris himself was using one of the interns as a seat to eat grapes on, while the other intern fanned him with a leaf. Chef was the cause of the cymbal crash, the instruments still in his hands.
"Mmm, don't know about you guys," Chris said while enjoying his treatment, "but I am loving Egypt." He tossed another grape into his mouth. "And I'm gonna love it even more watching you enjoy your second challenge: The Amazing Camel Race!"
"Where are the other camels?" Harold asked as the shot focused on Team Amazon's reward.
"There are no other camels!" Chris said in annoyance. "It's a Camel Race, not a Camels Race!"
"Yes!" Heather cheered.
"What?!" Matthew snarled, his team's goat bleating angrily along with him.
"We won last time!" Leshawna complained. "But they get a camel, they get a goat and we get a stick?"
"Each reward has its advantages," the host explained. "trust me. You'll be racing towards the world's most infamous waterway," he continued over a shot of Team Victory, "the Nile!" The camera panned over to Team Amazon, and then to Team Omega. "Teams must bring their rewards all the way to the finish. You have sixty seconds to strategize!"
"Move it!" Heather ordered, the queen bee already on the camel's hump. "It's a race!"
"It wouldn't kill you to be a little nicer," Sky told the girl with a glare.
"Nice people don't win a million dollars," Heather retorted as the girls got on the camel. Sky took a seat behind Heather, Zoey sat in front of her, and Scarlett wrapped herself around the animal's neck.
"And neither do you," Victor said with a smirk. "Or have you forgotten?"
"Guys, can we please get along?" Zoey asked. "It's always the team that fights that loses challenges."
The camera cut to Scarlett narrowing her eyes in annoyance.
XXX
"All things considered this is the best team for my overall plan," Scarlett confessed. "The combination of Victor's leadership, my intelligence, and Sky and Zoey's athleticism means we should have little to no trouble winning. And on the off chance we lose?" She adopted a smirk and said, "Heather will make for excellent elimination fodder."
"It's probably best to keep her felling secure though," she added as an aside. "Perhaps I should accept the inevitable alliance offer."
XXX
The footage cut back to the view looking up into Team Omega's huddle. "So, anybody have any ideas?" Duncan asked. Nobody said anything for a moment. "Anybody?" the punk asked pointedly.
"I guess we could try to just pile on the goat," Kitsune suggested, "It'd be a little hard to balance us though."
"Or we could just follow the girls' camel prints," Matthew spoke up.
"That is a better idea," Tyler commented.
XXX
"She made a finale and the best she can come up with is 'everyone pile on the goat'?" Matthew asked. "Seriously Chris, save yourself the fuel money and just give me the check now."
XXX
"Man how cool is it that I'm teamed up with Sierra?" Malcolm asked the confessional. "I'm not into her or anything, I just think she's hot."
XXX
"Ow!" The pain magnet cried as the camera cut to Harold sticking the forked stick in his eye.
"Sorry Malcolm," Harold said as his bandmate rubbed the injured eye and glared at him, "I was practicing my karate. It'll defend us from deadly sand snakes. They could be anywhere."
"No way!" Leshawna cried as she jumped into the dweeb's arms. She smiled at him sheepishly and with a glare, he dropped her. Sierra jumped into his arms shortly after.
"Did you know that my great-great-uncle Tom was immune to black mamba venom? He totally got bit by like eight of them as an act in a traveling circus."
Nearby, Alejandro sighed in defeat.
XXX
"It's not the best team I could have gotten," the charmer admitted. "But being the only athletic person on the team, I have some way to avoid elimination for at least two losses."
XXX
"A'ight," Chris told the cast, "Nile's thataway." He pointed with both hands off into the distance, then used one to shield the sun from his eyes. "Kinda big, blue, and watery," the perspective changed to show the sun over a vast expanse of sand, "can't miss it. Or I guess you can," the host added as the camera panned back across the group. Chef was next to a large urn, Chris was standing on top his intern seat, and the three teams were waiting by the starting line. "But then you'll die. Prob'ly get killed by the local scarab beetles. It's mating season and they get all...killy...when they're in heat."
"I am glad there aren't any here," Leshawna commented. "Those tings are nasty."
"I'll tell them you said that," Chris said with a smile as he motioned to Chef, who promptly pushed over the large vase. A swarm of small black beetles immediately crawled out of it, and they quickly made their way across the sands. The intern Chris was standing on gasped and bit his lip as the scarabs started crawling up him, then both Leshawna and the rest of Team Chris were shown recoiling and dancing in fear of the beetles that were surrounding them, with Harold in particular giving off a high-pitched scream. A quick-pan showed all the members of Team Amazon except Victor to be screaming, the gentleman just looking panicked as he clung to the mammal's backside; then the camera cut to Kitsune screaming on the goat's back while the rest of Team Omega danced in fear and screamed.
The host laughed. He was standing safe on top the skeleton of the former intern, while Chef was standing on the overturned vase. However, there wasn't a scarab in sight.
"Harold!" Malcolm cried as he nervously glanced around. "Use the stick and go karate on them!" Before the dweeb could respond, the scene cut back to Chris and Chef as a pair of dings accompanied the appearance of a circular music note logo in the top-right corner of the screen.
"Ooh, time for a song!" the host announced excitedly. "Think of it as a mini-challenge," he continued as the rest of Team Chris was shown' Staci standing on top of Alejandro and Leshawna in Harold's arms with Sierra on his back while Malcolm trembled in fear nearby. "Music can soothe the savage mate-seeking scarab, so, make up a good song and maybe they won't kill ya. Or don't," the shot cut to Team Amazon on their camel, "and get disqualified like Noah."
"Wonderful," Heather said sarcastically while her teammates groaned.
/\/\/\
[The pyramid took over the scene as a slow love song started playing. Malcolm into view in front of the pyramid, then Matthew, Tyler, Mike, and Alejandro slid in front of him, snapping their fingers to the beat as the scene behind them turned black. The beetles were shown crawling along the ground in columns, the camera panning back up to show the five boys, minus Alejandro, lined up and doing there thing.]
No need to get crazy. It's lovin' time at la~ast.
[Alejandro sang as he slid into the foreground on the right. Just as smoothly as he appeared, he dropped down out of view.]
You don't wanna eat us up.
[The charmer slid back to the snapping boys and all five sang as one.]
So please just let us pass.
[Mike added as he pooped up in the foreground next to where Alejandro was. A few scarabs crawled up him and added "Oh yes!" while frantically trying to brush them off.]
[Three rows of scarabs took over the screen, the middle one heading right while the other two went left.]
It's mating time for scarabs
[Zoey, Heather, and Sky sang scrolling down from the top left in an inset scene while snapping to the beat.]
So whatcha waitin' on?
[Leshawna added, a close-up of her moving two beetles close together with her hands scrolling in from the right.]
Just ignore the peo-ple
[Sky and Victor sang together, the gentleman's inset scrolling up on the left while the athlete's scrolled down on the right.]
And make-out to the break of dawn!
[Everyone sang as scene dissolved into a close-up of a single pair of scarabs as every contestant appeared in a ring around the screen.]
"Oh Yeah-ah!"
[Harold added as a heart overtook the screen.]
It's lovin' time
[Malcolm, Matthew, Tyler, Mike, and Alejandro sang as the heart faded to a scene of two scarabs forming heart-shapes with their antennae and nuzzling each another.]
Lovin' time Lovin ti~ime
[Sky, Heather, and Zoey sang as the scene continued.]
Scarab matin' season
[Alejandro sang a solo.]
It's lovin' time (Lovin' time Lovin' ti~ime)
[Malcolm and Harold sang together as the shot cut to the two watching the scarabs. The shot cut to Sky, Zoey, and Heather as they sang the second part.]
"Scarabs. Get busy now."
[Alejandro commanded as he stood in the foreground in front of the girls.]
It's lovin' ti~i~ime
[Harold sang over a shot of even more scarabs pairing up, hearts forming in their eyes.]
Lovin' time Lovin' ti~ime (Scarab mating season)
[Sky, Heather, and Zoey sang as the scene continued. As they held out the last note, the rest of the cast sang the second part of the line.]
'Tis loving time (Lovin' time Lovin' ti~ime)
[Victor, then the rest of Team Amazon, sang as they were shown slowly walking away.]
Scarab mating season.
[The cast all sang as one as the background returned to normal.]
"It's the season for- wait no!"
[Staci said and caused the music to suddenly stop. But it was too late, a few Psycho-like notes played and the formerly pacified scarab beetles turned their attention back to the humans.
\/\/\/
The cast promptly ran screaming, with Staci lagging behind just long enough for a few scarabs to start crawling up her.
"Nice one!" Chris said with a wide grin. He held up an air horn, then yelled "Go!" as he blew it. The teams were shown doing just that. Team Omega was the first out on foot with Tyler carrying the goat, then Team Amazon on their camel, and lastly Team Chris on foot getting chased by the insect swarm.
"Who's gonna die?" the host asked the camera as it cut back to him. "And who's goin' buh-bye? Find out after the break, on Total! Drama! World Tour. Chachacha!" He stage-whispered the last two words in tune with the rattling Western-styled music that played.
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode returned to a shot of the scorching sun, the camera quickly pulling back to show Team Amazon on the camel as it walked out of the shot. Moments later, Team Omega ran onto the screen.
"Can we maybe go a little faster?" Zoey asked the camel as the shot cut back to the Amazons.
"That is not how talk to a camel," Heather said. She cleared her throat and yelled "Freakin' move it!"
"That's much better," Sky muttered.
"Please, your arguing is upsetting the mount," Scarlett told her team. "And more importantly, me," she added under her breath.
"Is everything okay back there Victor?" Sky asked her boyfriend.
The shot cut to the gentleman who was occasionally getting hit on the head by camel's tail. "Thank you for- ow! Asking. It admittedly could be- ow! better."
"We're gonna go win the race now!" Heather taunted to the members of Team Omega. She then blew a raspberry at them.
"Sorry," Sky added. "But I have to agree with Heather."
"You may have the speed," Matthew taunted back as the camera cut to him riding the goat as the others ran, "but I'm much smarter than you!"
"I beg your pardon," Victor called out to him. "These ladies are among the most intelligent people I ever met."
"Yeah," the hipster rolled his eyes, "because you're the leading expert on intelligence. Especially when you consider that you're a billionaire who signed up for a reality competition."
"How about the only guy not running doesn't taunt the others?" Kitsune suggested.
XXX
"Man, and I thought Amy was full of herself," the goofball said. "Seriously, how does someone get an ego that big?"
XXX
"Scarlett, can you see the Nile?" Sky asked as the footage cut back to Team Amazon. She and her teammates were looking around them.
"Not at the moment," the brainiac answered.
\
The scene flashed back to Team Omega as Matthew perked up and pointed to the right. "By the way, I found the Nile," he announced, the viewpoint changing to show a few stand of palm trees along with a hint of blue and a finish line banner in the distance past some sand dunes.
The shot cut to Victor as he looked behind him, but as a quick perspective change showed there looked to be nothing but desert nearby. "Did we lose Team Omega?" he asked before the camel raised its tail. "Oh please. Not tha-"
The camera cut to the other members of the team cringing in disgust as the telltale sounds of steamy farts were heard.
XXX
"Yeah, I could've told the other team where the finish was," Matthew confessed as he leaned against the door of the restroom. "But if they're too dumb to find the one source of water in this place, that's on them. Besides, my team needs all the help I can give it."
XXX
The footage resumed with a human skull laying ominously on the sand in the foreground before the camera panned over to the members of Team Amazon.
"Guys?" Zoey asked uncertainly. "The other team's gone. And I think they have been for a while."
"Does anyone know where we are?" Heather asked.
"The closest approximation I can give you is somewhere in northern Egypt," Scarlett said dryly.
The other three girls shot her an odd look before they all exclaimed "We're lost!"
\
The scene flashed to a close-up of Malcolm's legs as he ran through the desert, the camera soon panning up to show the rest of him. "Man," he panted, "we're so far behind we can't even see the others anymore!"
The shot zoomed out even more, showing him at the back of Team Chris's pack with Staci. Sierra, Leshawna, and Harold were ahead of them, and Alejandro was out in front by a couple feet.
"The worst part is all these cacti look the same!" Sierra complained. "I feel like we passed that one ten minutes ago." The camera cut to show a messy trail of prints in the sand; it was hard to make out how many individuals had made them, but they were all distinctly human.
Leshawna was shown narrowing her eyes at the track suspiciously, then looking back to see a similar trail was being made behind them. "That's because we did!" she announced, smacking her face. "We've been running around in circles!"
The six teens immediately skidded to a stop and groaned.
\
The scene flashed back to Team Omega as they ran up to the bank of the Nile.
"Hey, there's the finish line!" Kitsune said excitedly, pointing across the water. The hipster promptly got off his mount.
"And it's on the other side of the river!" Duncan said in frustration, the camera moving closer to the water to show Chris and Chef lounging on the far bank under the finish banner. Several crocodiles surfaced or jumped out of the water.
"Welcome to the third challenge!" Chris yelled.
"What?" Tyler yelled back. "We can't hear you!" The camera panned to the side, showing the faraway host yelling something that couldn't quite be made out. "Did anybody catch that?" the jock turned back and asked his team.
The shot cut to Chris, who now looked annoyed. He snapped his fingers and was handed an oversized megaphone, which was promptly pointed at the river.
"I said, welcome to the third and final Egyptian challenge!" he repeated at a volume that shook the ground and blew back Team Omega's hair. "'Basket Cases'!" The goat bleated angrily in the lull between sentences. "Each team must weave a basket of river reeds," Chris continued as the camera panned down to the reedy bank. "Your basket has to be big enough to hold your whole team, including your reward from the last challenge, a.k.a. Goat Face over there!"
"Hey!" Tyler called out in offense.
"He meant the actual goat," Matthew said, then muttered "idiot," under his breath.
The camera cut to the animal, who was chewing away at some reeds.
"Oh," Tyler said blankly. "Thanks."
"Then you're gonna use the baskets together with those oars," the host continued as the focus moved to a group of wooden oars leaning against a nearby tree, "to row yourselves across the finish line. First team across flies first class to our next destination."
"And how exactly are we supposed to weave a boat big enough to do that?" Duncan asked.
"Guess who also got her lanyard making patch when she was a Junior Lady Ranger," Kitsune bragged.
"Let me guess," Matthew said sarcastically. "It's the only girl on the team."
She shot him a brief scowl. "Yes it was me, it can't be too much different with reeds," she mused.
"Yeah!" Tyler cheered, grabbing a handful of reeds.
"Yeah," the goofball said dryly. "We're gonna need more than that."
\
Another flash took the scene to some sort of animal skull lying on the sand, the camera panning over to show the six members of Team Chris sitting the desert with despair on their faces.
"Lost in Egypt," Leshawna complained. "Ain't that a kick in the pants?!"
"From first place to last," Harold lamented. With a cry of "Gosh!" he threw the stick onto the ground and it started to vibrate.
"Haunted stick!" Malcolm yelled in fear.
"It's a divining rod!" Harold said in realization.
"Oh," the pain magnet said blankly. "What's a divining rod?"
"It helps you find water," Leshawna explained.
"Like the Nile!" Sierra exclaimed.
"Chris did say the rewards had their advantages," Alejandro mused.
The six teens stood up and cheered.
\
The changed back to Team Amazon, where Sky and Heather argued while Scarlett looked annoyed and Zoey and Victor just looked dejected.
"ENOUGH!" Scarlett yelled, stopping the two. "Sorry," she said somewhat sheepishly. "The solution to the problem is simple. Camels are capable of finding water anywhere in the desert. So all we have to do is wait for it to need water."
"But who knows how long that'll take?" Heather pointed out. The camel turned around and started walking.
"Well that was fortuitous," Scarlett told the queen bee with a smirk.
"Great plan Scarlett!" Sky praised.
"Naturally," the brainiac said, now blushing slightly.
"Only if it leads us to the Nile," Heather said.
"I see it!" Zoey announced.
"You were saying?" Scarlett asked Heather. "Now Victor, I need you to slap the right flank two times and the left flank once.
The gentleman did as ordered and the camel sped up.
\
The scene flashed back to Team Omega, who under Kitsune's guidance were already about halfway done weaving a canoe made of reeds. The camera panned to the left as Team Amazon rode into the scene, the camel quickly skidding to a stop on the sandy riverbank.
"Basket-weave a boat?" Heather asked as Victor hopped off the camel. "Ugh!"
"Luckily I read a book on Peruvian basket weaving techniques," Scarlett bragged.
"Perfect!" Heather said. "You can weave the boat and I'll go sit in the shade."
"That ain't happening," Sky told her. "I'm sure Scarlett can tell us what to do."
"Sky has a point," Zoey pointed out. "Ten hands are better than two."
"Yes," Victor said. "Scarlett, we are at your disposal."
"While I welcome the help," the brainiac replied. "We would be faster if one of us only ferried reeds to the rest as we built."
"I'll do it," Heather volunteered.
"Now follow my instructions and we'll be at the finish in no time," Scarlett directed.
With a cheer of "Go Team Amazon!", the five went about their tasks.
The scene promptly moved back to Team Omega, focusing in particular on Matthew. "Hurry it up already!" he yelled. "The other team's gonna get ahead of us!
"Hey if you wanna be in a boat that'll sink then we'll go faster" Kitsune replied. "But I'd prefer it if we didn't get eaten by crocodiles."
"Whatever," the hipster as he rolled his eyes.
"Maybe it wouldn't kill us to go a little faster?" Mike suggested.
Matthew smiled at him, then said "Thank you Mike. Maybe all of you aren't hopelessly stupid."
"And maybe you need a knuckle sandwich," Duncan warned as he brandished a fist at the boy.
"Wow, threaten to beat up the smart guy," Matthew said sarcastically. "How original."
"Can you all shut up and help me here?" Kitsune interrupted "Because we're sure to come in last with just me and Tyler building this thing."
"Well then let's get back to building," Mike said as he leaned down to help.
Duncan narrowed his eyes at him.
XXX
"Man," the punk said in the confessional, "this has been bothering me for like a year now. I swear I know that guy from somewhere."
XXX
The footage cut to Team Chris finally arriving on the scene, skidding to a stop in front of Team Amazon. "Sweet! We still have a shot," Malcolm said.
A screech of feedback got their attention, and the shot cut across the river to Chris and Chef lounging on the far bank, the host using the former intern's skeleton as a footrest while Chef used a living intern. "Weave a basket boat out of reeds, row to the finish, yadda yadda yadda..." Chris said in a bored tone.
"You heard the man," Leshawna told her teammates, "yadda yadda!" They immediately ran off to the river.
\
The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of Sierra as she laid down a long reed on the conical roof of a cabin, the shot pulling back to show the rest of Team Chris' boat completed. It looked identical to the one used in the seasons' opening sequence. "Ta-da!" she called down to her teammates.
"Sierra, this is awesome!" Malcolm said excitedly as his teammate jumped back down onto the sand. "Seriously!"
"I told you I was a fourth-generation basket weaver," the super-fan bragged.
"I thought you said basket case," Leshawna muttered under her breath.
"It's not nice to talk about people behind their back Leshawna," Sierra said with her hands on her hips. "But I'm sure you already know that. Don't you?"
"Why you little-" the sista said as Malcolm and Alejandro held her back.
"Gosh," Harold said. "We gotta get in the water before we lose our lead."
"Too late for that!" Matthew taunted as the camera cut to Team Omega in a rather crudely shaped canoe. He was holding the goat, Mike and Kitsune were in front of him, and Tyler and Duncan were behind him.
"Far too late," Scarlett added and the camera cut to Team Amazon and camel in their much larger and higher-quality canoe. Heather was directly in front of the animal, and in front of her was Scarlett, Zoey, Sky and finally Victor looking pleased to be far away from it.
The three teams were shown in the water. With Sierra in the back of Team Chris's boat, then Malcolm, Staci, Harold, Leshawna, and Alejandro in front. The camera cut to Chris and Chef on the opposite bank. "Well now," the host told his companion, "clearly this part of the challenge isn't hard enough. Sooo..."
The 'music' icon appeared in the corner of the screen with its usual dings.
"Time for a musical reprise!" Chris announced joyfully.
"Aaww!" the majority of the cast groaned.
"Hey," Chris told the teams, "if Staci hadn't messed up the song earlier then you wouldn't be here!" The shot cut to Team Chris, where the girl in question was receiving annoyed looks from the rest of her team. "So start singin'!" Chris called out with a grin. "And put your backs into it!"
/\/\/\
[An up-tempo version of the love song that had been used for the earlier musical number began to play as the contestants looked behind them to a group of crocodiles rising to the surface.]
Ooh-ooh. Allright Crocodiles, whatcha swarmin' fo~or?
[Mike opened with a worried look on his face, singing to the nearest crocodiles from the back of Team Omega's boat which was already in motion. The camera briefly panned forward to show Mike and Duncan pausing to beat a couple crocodiles with oars as the reptiles poked their heads up and snapped their jaws.]
We don't like this either
[Scarlett sang as the camera panned further ahead to Team Amazon, a couple more crocodiles jumping over their boat and snapping at the camel.]
So let us reach the shore
[Zoey finished as the camera focused on the girls as they frantically paddled. The camel honked twice in beat with the music.]
Um, these crocs look kinda TO'd
[Malcolm sang worriedly as the camera focused on Team Chris as they paddled.]
Just bop'em on the no~ose. I learned that in muscrat boys, it vanquishes all foes
[Harold sang as Leshawna and Sierra whacked the reptiles snapping at them. The camera cut to Staci trying the same thing with the stick, but a crocodile jumped out of the water and scared her. This caused her to drop the stick into the river.]
It's rowin' time
[Mike sang as Team Omega was shown leaving the screen.]
Vanquishin' Vanquishin'
[Team Amazon chorused as they paddled into the shot.]
Crocodile Season
[The cast sang as one.]
It's rowin' time
[Alejandro sang as Team Amazon paddled out and Team Chris paddled in.]
Crocodiles, crocodiles
[The rest of Team Chris sang as the reptiles tried to chomp on the boat, only to recoil in pain.]
Too bad they can't sink us!
[Sierra bragged as the crocodiles swam away from them.]
'Tis rowin' time
[Victor sang as the camera cut back to Team Amazon.]
That's too bad, That's to ba~ad
[Heather and Scarlett chorused as they paddled up to Team Omega.]
Crocodile Season
[The cast sang as one.]
It's rowin' time
[Mike sang as Team Amazon passed his team.]
Rowin' time, rowin' time
[The rest of Team Omega chorused.]
Until Team Amazon
[Victor and Sky sang, holding the note as the music hung and their boat reached the finish line on the other shore, the five teens quickly running out with their camel in tow. Team Omega followed seconds after, and Team Chris seconds after that.]
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins
[Team Amazon sang together as the shot panned out. Victor stood in the middle with his arms stretched out, Sky and Heather flanked him with Zoey and Scarlett on the outside, and the music came to an end.]
\/\/\/
"Congrats!" Chris said with open arms as he walked up to the three teams. "You're alive. And, as long as you all brought your rewards across the finish line, there will be no elimination tonight." All the contestants immediately began to cheer, with two exceptions.
"Staci, where's the stick?" Alejandro asked.
"It's uh," she said sheepishly, "at the bottom of the river."
The camera pulled back, showing the rest of Team Chris glaring at the chatterbox.
Chris laughed. "Wow, sucks to be you!"
\
The scene flashed to the beating sun as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet flew up into view, and the camera cut inside to the elimination room. Chris was standing at a podium behind a short and uneven wooden partition that Chef was standing outside of. Noah stood next to the exit door and the six losers were seated in wooden bleachers on the right wall under a straw overhang; Harold, Leshawna, and Alejandro were on the top row and Staci, Sierra, and Malcolm were on the bottom.
"Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot," Chris said, "you came in last and lost your reward on the way...Staci." He gave the girl a quick narrow-eyed look before resuming his usual manner. "So, it's vote time! Up in the loser class bathroom you'll find six passports."
"Unless Staci tossed those in the Nile too," Harold said with a glare towards Staci.
"You're the one that told me to hit the crocs," the girl huffed.
"Stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home," Chris explained. "You guys got that?"
"How dumb do you think we are?" Malcolm said in minor offense.
XXX
The pain magnet was shown in the confessional stamping Staci's passport with a shrug.
XXX
Staci was second, smiling as she held up Alejandro's passport and stamped it.
XXX
The next voter was Leshawna, who stamped the chatterbox's passport with a glare.
XXX
"My first vote!" Sierra said excitedly as she jumped and clapped her hands. She stamped Staci's and said "I thought it'd be more dramatic than this."
XXX
Harold was next. He glared at the chatterbox's passport and stamped it a number of times.
XXX
Finally Alejandro voted. He looked at each passport in front of him and pretended to think, before finally stamping Staci's.
XXX
The footage cut back to a close-up of several passports in Chris' hand. "I've got the results of your vote right here," he said as the camera zoomed out. "Those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks," he explained as he held up a bag of peanuts that seemed to have something coating its bottom. "Mmm, hmhmm! Barfy!" Chris laughed, taking a quick whiff of the bag.
"The following players are safe," he announced as the shot cut back to the contestants. "Leshawna, Harold, Malcolm, Sierra!" One by one, the four caught the peanut-filled barf bags as they were thrown to them. "And, the last bag of peanuts goes to..." The bottom two were shown in close-ups, Staci going wide-eyed with fear while Alejandro raised an eyebrow.
"Alejandro!" The charmer grinned as he caught his snacks.
"Wait, what?" Staci said in confusion as she stood up.
"You've got five seconds to strap this on," Chris told her with a parachute pack in his hand, "or the Drop of Shame will become the Drop of Pain." He tossed the pack to Staci with a short laugh.
"Well it's your loss!" Staci said as she walked forward as if in a daze, past Chef Hatchet who motioned towards the side door of the plane. "My family's skills would've totally helped us win this season. But now you-"
She was interrupted by a swift kick from Chef that sent her flying out the door, screaming at the top of her lungs.
"I knew that would be satisfying!" Chris said with a grin.
The camera cut outside, focusing first on the parachute pack that was hooked on Staci's legs before panning up to the girl who was clinging onto something. "I'm not leaving!" she declared over the roaring wind. "I said I was gonna win this time. And I am!" The camera zoomed out some more to show that she was clinging to the tip of the horizontal stabilizer on the tail of the jet as she screamed "I MEAN IT!"
"Tsk tsk tsk," Noah said as he spared a glance to the door. "I almost feel bad for her."
"Final stop for all non-competitors," Chris said with a grin as he handed a parachute to the bookworm.
"But I wasn't voted out!" Noah retorted.
"True," Chris said. "But this plane is for contestants only so..." he pushed the boy out of the plane and smiled at his scream of terror.
The camera cut to the still-open door of the plane where Chris was sticking his head out to watch Noah's fall. "Happy landings!" he called out with a mocking grin. He started to laugh, the viewpoint changed to show Noah falling to the ground while holding his parachute.
XXX
"So as it turns out my team did mess up my chances at first class," Matthew complained in the confessional. "I'll make them pay for that later, but first I need to deal with the other two teams. Those idiots don't know what they're messing with. Alejandro? Heather? Sugar? They're all nothing compared to me."
XXX
"Finally, a real competitor," Chris, now wearing an old-fashioned pilot's uniform, said from the cockpit. "Where will our next destination take us, and," a faint crashing could be heard as well as a muffled 'ow', "how did Malcolm manage to hurt himself this time? Find out next time, on an all-new episode of Total!" The shot cut outside one of the windows, catching the pain magnet rubbing a sore spot on his head. "Drama!" The shot quickly cut to a side-view of the flying jumbo jet, then pulled back slightly for the final part. "World Tour!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
\
(Bonus Clip)
"It's not exactly how I planned on leaving," The Bookworm said put on his parachute while falling. "But I'm finally far away from McLean." He activated the chute and fell more gently.
"I guess I could have waited until we lost and had my team vote for me," he considered. "But who know when that would have been. Either way, I'm finally free from Chris and completely safe."
He fell out of frame and the camera panned down to show him dangling over the ground while suspended from a tree. His eyes widened as the ground was overcome by "Scarabs!"
Author's Note Post Script: And as so many predicted, Staci was the first one voted off. It had to be someone, why not her? And while she is stowing away on the plane, she will not suffer the same fate as Ezekiel. I have something different planned for her.
Speaking of different plans, Scarlett. She's going to do exactly what you think she is, but at the same time she's not. Her, Sierra, and Mal are my three big gambles this season. You got a small taste this episode though.
The challenge did end up going the same as canon, but the early challenges tend to suffer from that as I'm focusing more on showing group dynamics.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDWT ELIMINATION TABLE:
17th Place: Noah
16th Place: Staci
