Nice to see some interest in this already. I was wondering if anyone was going to be writing fics for the new movie yet, let alone be interested in reading one. I'm already finding Kai such a joy to write for myself.
Now he just needs to make it into the character filter already.
Chapter 2: Changes
The sky was particularly beautiful that night. It was as if the constellations had all decided to come out of hiding and throw themselves a party. Anyone who happened to be looking up would have little trouble finding each and every one of them.
But stars were not the only thing in the sky that night. Some particularly observant watchers had noticed something else. A mysterious flash of green had appeared tonight, a phenomenon unlike anything seen before. No one was sure what it could be, nor did they get much chance to find out. For as quickly as this green streak appeared, it was gone, continuing its journey across the sky as if guided by some outside force. Those that didn't lose interest immediately came to see it as some kind of sign. Green was a color of health and benevolence, so some people had even believed it was a good omen for times to come.
These people were very very wrong.
The green streak did eventually stop, and when it did, a swirling portal had formed instead, carving out a massive crater into the ground below. When this vortex of chi dissipated, Kai was standing in its place.
The yak looked around slowly. He was standing in the middle of what appeared to be a local farm. It also appeared to be completely empty. "Really? No one saw that?" he asked, a bit miffed. What a waste of a dramatic entrance.
He took a deep breath, finding the feeling of natural air entering his lungs to be both refreshing and stifling. As he took in his surroundings, he saw much darker hues take up the sky, and rocks firmly planted in the ground by that thing called gravity. Yes, he was going to have to get used to this plane of existence again. As limiting as the Spirit Realm was, it was at least nice to look at.
"No matter. I'll have plenty of time to adjust. Isn't that right, Oogway?" His hoof gripped the jade amulet he wore around his neck, all that remained of the "great" Grandmaster. Grinning madly, he thrust his muscled arms into the air. "KAI HAS RETURNED!"
Grabbing several more amulets off of his belt, he threw them to the ground, where they transformed into something quite different. A whole legion of kung fu masters now stood before him. Or rather, ex-kung fu masters. They were nothing but mindless jade statues now, his soldiers to command.
And command them he did. "Find Oogway's students and bring them to me!" They obeyed at once and ran off into the horizon. Whoever it was that the tortoise had last taught, his soldiers would find them. They were like bloodhounds when it came to chi. "By the time I am done with them, Oogway, there will be no one left who will even remember your name." He shouted into the heavens. "KAI IS COMING!"
He looked around again, hopefully, but found that he was still alone.
"Seriously?! No one?! Unbelievable."
"Wait...so you don't want the panda?"
The Wolf Boss quirked his head to one side in typical canine fashion. Who was this peacock in front of him, and what had he done with Lord Shen?
"For the last time, NO!" he snapped, turning around and inviting no further conversation. The wolf discreetly leaned in and sniffed at him. No, this was Shen's scent all right. The possibility of brain damage had not been ruled out though.
Meanwhile, Shen was starting to think it was the wolf who had brain damage. He looked back over his shoulder to see the dumb mutt still standing there, shuffling his padded feet awkwardly. "You're not going to let this drop until I explain it, are you?"
He gulped nervously. "Well, uh, with all due respect sir, you've kinda had a beef with pandas for a long time. Like, a really long time. A really, really, rea-"
"Yes, yes, I get it!" Shen cut him off, turning back around. "But that has now changed. This panda, whoever he may be, is inconsequential to my plans. The Soothsayer has confirmed it herself." He gestured over to the old goat, still in the same spot she was before. "That is what you said, isn't it Soothsayer?"
She remained silent.
"Hmph. Fine. I like you better when you're quiet anyway." He returned his attention to the Wolf Boss. "You see? Nothing to worry about. The fleet departs in three days, just as planned, and-"
"Shen...in three days' time...you will be dead."
"...Sir?" The Wolf Boss waved a paw in front of his face.
Shen slapped it away. "And China will be mine! Now get out of here and return to your patrols!"
"Y-Yes, sir!" Though reluctant, he said no more on the subject and bounded off again.
The Soothsayer muttered something inaudible.
"What was that?" Shen asked.
"You should have told him," she repeated.
"Told him what?" he scoffed. "To keep a look out for any 'great evils' marching on my city? You know as well as I do that the weapon I wield is unstoppable. Nothing will stand in my way."
"What about the panda?"
Shen sighed in exasperation. "What about the panda? Weren't you paying attention? I have already thwarted your ridiculous 'warrior of black and white' prophecy. Even if there is a panda still alive, he is of no further concern to me. Right now, he's probably sleeping on bamboo, or admiring his own belly, or whatever it is those repulsive creatures do for fun."
"I just found out that my dad...isn't really my dad."
Po looked down at his legs as he sat on the deck of their boat. He and the Five were traveling upriver, almost to Gongmen City by now. There, they would stop Lord Shen, destroy his new weapon, and save China. And yet, that was the last thing on his mind right now. He was much more hung-up on the revelation he had been faced with before they even left. Which was why he and Master Tigress were talking like this in the first place.
"Your dad...the goose?" Po nodded. "...That must have been quite a shock."
"Yeah..." Okay, so maybe he had a feeling that Mr. Ping wasn't really his dad. That didn't mean he was prepared to hear about how he found him in some radish crate, or that his real parents had probably just left him somewhere.
"And this bothers you?"
But he couldn't look weak in front of his idol. "Heh... are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel! Souls of platinum! ...Like you! So hardcore you don't feel anything."
"AGGGH!"
Po froze, about to give Tigress a playful punch in the shoulder when she suddenly reeled back in pain, something foreign now sticking out of that same shoulder. "Holy crap, is that an arrow?!" Tigress fought down the urge to yank out the offending object, knowing that would only make it worse. It did look pretty strange though. Not so much an arrow as a...quill?
"Po, get down!" Despite her injury, Tigress tackled the panda to the floor as two more glowing quills whizzed over their heads and embedded themselves into the deck. She looked up, just faintly seeing a small green creature firing at them from shore. This was quickly followed by two similar creatures bursting out of the water on either side. One of them tackled Tigress off of Po, through their stack of vegetable crates, and back into the water.
But he didn't have the time to worry about her safety as he found himself fending off the other assailant. An assailant who was starting to look very familiar. "Hey, wait a minute! You guys are the Master Badger Twins!" Po gasped excitedly between fending off blows from the badger's staff. He yelped as another quill came down and just barely missed his foot. "And that guy is totally Master Porcupine! I knew I recognized the distinct shape of his Quills of Fiery Pain!" The staff struck him upside the head, but he barely seemed to notice. "Oh wow, I can't believe that actual legends of kung fu are trying to kill me! Seriously, huge fan! I even have your actions figures! Dang, I knew I should've brought those too!"
In the midst of his fanboy moment, the badger had backed him up against the edge of the boat, where he now teetered unsteadily. "Ugh, this is so not a big enough battleground for something this awesome."
The badger moved in to topple him, but was kicked away by Mantis, the rest of the Five having finally joined in. "And here I thought we weren't going to get into trouble until we actually reached the city. Silly me."
"What is that thing?" Viper asked, horrified.
"Things," Po corrected. "There's another one shooting at us from shore, and-oh geez, Tigress!" The panda turned and flung himself into the water with no further explanation.
Not that it was needed. They got the gist pretty quickly when the badger came at them, along with another volley of quills. Crane flew up immediately to shield the others, deflecting the quills with a gust from his wings. "Viper, let's take out that archer!"
"Got it!" Viper flung herself from the mast and wrapped herself around Crane's hat, then they both flew off towards Porcupine.
Monkey and Mantis were left to deal with the Badger Twin. "Okay, nice teamwork guys! Thanks for the heads-up!" Mantis called out cheerfully. The badger swung his staff down to swat him, but Mantis leapt on top of the weapon, traveled up its length, and jabbed several nerve points in his opponent. A normal fighter would have been immobilized. The jade badger barely flinched. "Crap! They don't have nerves!"
Monkey threw a punch at the badger's face, and only ended up hurting his own hand. "But I sure do. Owww..." The badger tried to counter with a swing of the staff, which Monkey ducked under. As Mantis landed a hard kick to the badger's back, Monkey jumped over his head, grabbed him up in his tail, and chucked him overboard.
Mantis stared at the resulting ripple in the water uneasily. "I'm not so sure that was a good idea."
"You think so?"
There was a sickening crack as a green staff stabbed up through the center of the boat, making them both jump back. The two masters hopped around as the staff came up at them over and over again, poking holes all over the deck. Monkey finally managed to grab it, and was violently yanked into the floor a few times before he added his feet and tail to the grip, after which he was able to pull the badger up through the deck and into the air. Mantis was already waiting with the boat's boom held in his thingies, and he swung it around, catching the badger in the sail. Monkey yanked the sail off and quickly wrapped the creature up with it.
"Well that takes care of that," Mantis said, Monkey tying the makeshift sack tightly as the jade monstrosity struggled within.
At that moment, several jets of water squirted up through the numerous holes in the boat. "Oops."
Crane swerved to the left and right, dodging around the flying quills, up until he got close enough to attack. "Are you ready?"
"Of course," Viper answered, uncurling from the bird's hat and slithering down to his talons. Dodging another quill, Crane pulled Viper back and fired her like a rubber band, straight at Porcupine's face.
The jade archer was caught off-guard and stumbled back. As he tried to fire again, Viper quickly wrapped around his arms and caused him to shoot a quill straight up into the air. At this point, Crane dived down and kicked Porcupine onto his back. As the quill came back down, Viper leapt off of the prone archer, grabbed the projectile, and thrust it down to pierce the creature's heart.
"Got him," she sighed in relief.
Porcupine jumped right back up, the quill sticking out of his chest, but otherwise unharmed. "What is this thing made of?!"
"Jade."
"Thanks," Viper said, rolling her eyes.
Master Porcupine loaded his bow again and jumped, firing quills down at them. Viper zipped back and forth as the quills landed all around her, while Crane took the skies, firing another blast of wind at Porcupine and blowing him even higher. Disoriented only for an instant, and unnervingly nonchalant about being this high up, Porcupine fired back at Crane much faster than he expected, shooting off his hat. The bird just barely kept it from being his head.
Catching up to Porcupine, Crane grabbed the archer in his talons and dove down at such a speed that he was unable to get another shot off. Once he got enough momentum, he threw his opponent, watching as he flew down...and landed directly on top of the same bed of quills he had shot at Viper.
Pierced through most of his limbs, Porcupine struggled in vain to free himself, immobilized by his own natural weaponry. Crane and Viper smiled and gave each other a high-five as best as two creatures without hands could manage.
Tigress was grappling underwater with the other Badger Twin, holding tightly onto his staff. Rapidly losing air and dealing with an injured shoulder, she had a lot more trouble doing this than she would normally. She made a few attempts to kick him off, but the jade master proved just as durable as he looked and refused to let go. She didn't notice how quickly they were sinking until she suddenly found her back to the riverbed. Shifting his weight on top of her, the badger pressed the staff tightly against her throat, forcing even more oxygen out of her lungs.
Returning the favor from before, Po came in at that moment to dive bomb the badger off of her. If they weren't underwater, she was fairly certain it would've been accompanied by a "Shakabooey!"
Her lungs becoming the more pressing concern, Tigress left Po with the badger and frantically swam to the surface. She burst out of the water, gasping for breath, then grimacing as this aggravated her shoulder injury even further.
Back underwater, Po had finally knocked the staff from the badger's grasp. As his limbs were too small to reach past his long neck, he quickly found himself on the wrong end of a very one-sided beatdown. Ending with a muffled battle cry, Po delivered an uppercut that sent the badger flying back up to the surface. Tigress saw him coming and promptly slammed a fist into his jade skull, sending him back down. Po kicked it back up, and Tigress knocked it back down. They continued this for a few more rounds until Tigress finally grabbed the badger and threw him roughly onto shore. Cracked in several places, it had trouble standing back up again.
Tigress panted, more from exertion than lack of air. She nearly decked Po out of reflex when he came up from behind and put his arm around her. "Don't worry, I gotcha. Now let's get back to the boat."
"What boat?" Tigress asked bitterly.
Po looked over to see what used to be their ride now rapidly sinking into the river. Only the mast was still above water and the actual sail was missing. Sitting on the boom, Monkey held the other thrashing badger in what was left of the sail, while Mantis just grinned sheepishly. "Uh...we can explain."
Po and the Five were now gathered onto shore. Mantis had removed the quill from Tigress's shoulder and bandaged it up, while the others looked over their mysterious attackers, all three now incapacitated. Master Porcupine was still stuck on his own quills, one Badger Twin was tangled up in the sail, his efforts to free himself only getting him more stuck, and the other Badger Twin Po just sat on top of, his girth providing little room for resistance. He was having way more fun than he should have just poking and teasing the poor thing.
"Okay, I'll ask again," Viper said. "What the heck are these things?"
"Some kind of jade zombies," Tigress observed.
"Jade zombies...jombies!" Monkey shouted proudly.
Po, distracted by poking one of the newly-dubbed jombies in the snout, frowned. "Aw man, you beat me to it!"
Suddenly, a sinister laugh echoed out of the mouths of all three jombies, making them flinch. "I see you..." a menacing voice spoke as the jombies' eyes glowed. "Your chi will soon be mine."
Po hesitantly poked the badger again. "Is he talking to me?"
"Which one?" asked Tigress. "They're all talking."
"Wow, you're right! That's so scary! We should try that too. Maybe it'd be scary back at them."
"Okay," Mantis agreed, "but we gotta plan what we're gonna say first or else it won't be scary, it'll just be stupid."
"It's not them talking, you idiots!" the jombies all shouted. "It's me, talking through them, Kai!"
"Who?" Po and the Five chorused.
"Did Lord Shen send you to stop us?" Tigress asked accusingly.
"Who?" the jombies echoed back.
Tigress just growled in frustration and stormed off. Po decided to be a bit more personable. "Hey, uh, Kai?"
All three heads turned to him. "What?!"
"Look, this a little awkward, but we're kind of already dealing with a bad guy at the moment. Could you maybe just hold off for a week or two until we finish up in Gongmen City? Then we can all have an epic showdown worthy of the greatest legends. Okay?"
"No, that is not okay! Do you have any idea how long I have waited for this already?!"
"Uh..."
"Five hundred years! ...Give or take."
"...That's a long time."
"Sure is! And I am not going to sit here and be disrespected by some tubby panda who doesn't bathe enough! I can smell through these things too, you know."
"Okay, that was a little uncalled for. I don't need-"
"Po, move!" Tigress ordered, shoving him aside.
"I will not be ignored! I am Kai! The Master of Pain! The Beast of Vengeance! The Maker of-"
*SMASH*
Tigress dropped a massive boulder onto all three jombies, shattering them to pieces and effectively shutting him up.
Mantis winced. "That can't be good for the healing process."
Tigress brushed the dust off of her paws. "Now that that annoying distraction is out of the way, can we get back to the mission now?"
Viper looked out across the water. "That...could be difficult." They could all see the outline of Gongmen City on the distant horizon, looking even more distant now that they lacked transportation.
"I know! Why not just have Crane carry us the rest of the way?" Po suggested.
Crane gaped at him. "Either you seriously overestimate my strength or you seriously underestimate your weight."
"He'd never be able to fly us in without being spotted anyway," Tigress sighed. "We have no choice. Looks like we're hoofing it."
"Awww, that's gonna take forever!" Po whined. "Can we at least bring snacks?"
Viper bit her lip. "Actually Po, all of our food was on the boat..."
He screamed in agony.
"If we hurry, we can make it within another day or two," Monkey tried to reassure him. He failed.
Po muttered bitterly to himself as he followed after the Five. "Stupid Kai. Stupid jombies. Stupid..."
Unbeknownst to any of them, as soon as they left, the giant boulder sitting on top of the jombies started to rumble. All of the scattered jade pieces around and underneath it glowed a bright, sickly green. They condensed together into three separate orbs of chi and flew off in the opposite direction.
To say that Kai was pissed would be a bit of an understatement.
"So...they don't think I'm worth their time, do they?" he growled to himself, tapping his fingers rhythmically against the wooden surface of his current hideout. He had been gone too long. These people didn't know better than to fear him anymore. Just as well. He would simply have to make them fear him again.
Still, if there was one thing this encounter proved, it was that Oogway's students were powerful indeed. Too powerful for his forces to handle just yet. He needed more chi.
He thought back to what the masters had mentioned. Lord Shen. Gongmen City. If that was where they were going, then there must be something worth going after there. It would be as good a place as any for him to build on his collection.
His eyes glowed with chi energy, forming another link with his jade soldiers. "Converge on this 'Gongmen City' at once and bring me all the strongest chi you can find." With no pain, no fatigue, and no limitations, his soldiers would easily beat Oogway's students to the punch. By the time they reached the city, it was already going to be cleared out for them. Frankly, they should be thanking him.
And as for this "Lord Shen" they were so worried about, he would not only take his chi, he would turn him into his servant and smash him to pieces right in front of them, just to make a point.
For those not familiar with nautical terms, a boat's "boom" is the beam that juts out from the mast and holds up the sail.
Some of the dialogue in this chapter is intentionally ripped straight from the movies, just to better highlight the differences. It's going to stop being so similar very soon.
