ROCK N' RADITZ
CHAPTER TWO
Raditz returned to the crew, mildly unnerved that his rogue hard on could return at any awkward moment. For the first time in his life, the Saiyan hoped none of the audience would flash him.
The audience soon filed into the theater. Mr. Satan naturally had a front row seat, though dressed as a woman and shaved, he so far had been unrecognized. Even with his signature Doritos Locos Tacos scent lingering in the air.
When the lights dimmed, Mr. Satan's body hairs finally felt like it was safe to emerge and covered him with a half inch layer of stubble. Reaching under the blue dress he'd snuck out of Videl's closet, he tried to discretely scratch the horrifying itch this created on his junk, causing the people on either side to move to less expensive seats. He stopped and tried wiggling in his seat instead, but stopped this too when the young woman behind him muttered, "Eww, just go to the bathroom already!"
...
The show started with a bang, as Mr. Satan accidentally fired a gun that he'd brought in case of Super Saiyans or Cell. He coughed loudly as the crowd tried to figure out who'd been shot, discretely removing the gun from his garter, setting it on the floor and kicking it.
...
Backstage, Raditz peed a little accidentally when he heard the shot. He was grateful for the BattleTuff Saiyan underwear that protected his dignity.
Once he'd reassured security that he'd be unaffected by a lame weapon designed to kill weaker races, the Saiyan entered the stage. Headbanging and playing the Flying V like a man possessed (because he WAS possessed- by an ugly little troll looking demon who sometimes forced him to dress as Santa Clause on stage).
Raditz paused to regain his balance from all the hair whipping, when he caught the eye of a woman in blue. She was a little hairier than he preferred, but damn, she was built like a tank! Nothing yanks a male Saiyan's tail quite like a woman who looks strong enough to beat his ass! Now was not the time to get turned on, so he resumed headbanging.
After the show Raditz sat in the VIP area, running hands through his hair in an attempt to remove a few giant knots. He waved in a fan who had shelled out for the backstage pass, and jumped out of his chair when he saw just who it was- the woman in blue!
Mr. Satan, in full seduction mode, batted his big fake eyelashes so vigorously that they went flying off and attached themselves to Raditz's hair. The Saiyan interpreted this as a flirty attack, so he flirted back by kicking Mr. Satan in the gut.
He died and was dragged down to HFIL, where Cell immediately began kicking his ass.
Raditz, however, now had a corpse in a situation where it would be awkward to dispose of a corpse. So he blew up the entire town. News reports just blamed it on the caldera.
...
Epilogue
Raditz eventually died (it's not a good idea to make fun of Vegeta's shortness while he's PMSing) and was sent to HFIL. There he was reunited with both Mr. Satan and Turles, and they had hawt orgies until HFIL staff caught on.
It was decided that in order to break up the fun, Raditz would reside in a drawer in Lord Enma's desk and only come out when there was paperwork needing doing. But Enma soon tired of his smellyness and sent him to Heaven for an eternity of torture by Dabura, who was now dead and acting extremely gay and creeping the hell out of everybody.
But instead of going crazy, Dabura and Raditz became buddies, and the demon converted the Saiyan to the sugary sweet and very gay and flowery side. It was terrifying.
THE END
