Author's Note: I think of this chapter and the next as one section, but it's far too long, so I've broken into two.
Bon Voyage, Rory Part 1
As promised, Lorelai and Rory arrived at the diner at a little after 5 the next morning. They tried to tease Luke in the usual manner, but it came out a bit lame thanks to sleep deprivation. Still, Luke was happier than he'd been since Lorelai had proposed two years earlier. He joined the girls for a few minutes while they ate, but mostly he was content to just watch and listen, puttering around the diner preparing for the breakfast rush when he opened at 6. The conversation remained light, none of them wanting to spoil the mood or spark tears.
Eventually, after they'd picked at the hashbrowns for as long as they could, Rory excused herself to use the bathroom.
"I might be a few minutes. I need to do something else with my hair. This ponytail is going to be uncomfortable on the plane, I think."
Lorelai brought the last of the dirty dishes to the window, using them as an excuse to get closer to Luke, who stood leaned up against the jamb of the kitchen doorway, watching her. She gave him a sidelong look and said, "You look well-rested this morning."
"I am," he replied, "Thanks for being so forceful about it last night."
"My pleasure." She smiled and turned to face him. He really did look great this morning. His eyes seemed to be a particularly gorgeous shade of blue and there was a twinkle there she hadn't seen in a very, very long time.
"So what do you have planned for today?" He noticed that she wasn't dressed for work. "I hate the idea of you going home to an empty house."
"Oh, don't worry about me," she reassured him, "I took an extra day off and my first move will be to sleep most of the day. We didn't sleep at all last night."
"I bet." He had suspected as much. "And after that? Are you up for some company tonight? Stay in, watch a movie?"
"Something romantic? Like Jaws? or Saw? Scarface, maybe?" she started walking toward him. He ignored the teasing and took it as a "yes".
"Is 6:30 okay?"
"Um…" She was inches away now, biting her lower lip. "Better make it 7. I have a hair appointment."
He put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "I'll bring dinner, okay?" he whispered.
She kissed him sensuously, then responded, "And pie?"
He kissed her and asked, "Boysenberry or cherry?"
She kissed him. "I have to choose?"
And then the verbal part of the conversation was over.
Rory returned to see a bit more Luke and Lorelai action than she had ever wanted to see and cleared her throat to put an end to it. She added, "You know the blinds are open and Kirk is getting quite a show." Lorelai and Luke just smiled and casually stepped apart. "He was talking about pie. You know I can't resist him when pie is involved."
"Or brownies. Or pancakes. Or donuts," said Rory.
Lorelai let out an audible sigh. "I guess we should be going." She turned to Luke, "7 o'clock?"
"I'll be there. Does Paul Anka still take his burgers rare-plus?"
"He's not as picky about that as he used to be. Anything in the rare-to-medium range is fine." She was touched that he'd thought of the furry family member who had missed him so much. What she didn't say was that Paul Anka had had to adapt to a Lukeless existence; Chris's cooking skills weren't up to the task of getting a burger just right for the neurotic dog. Not that Paul Anka had ever warmed up to Christopher. She suspected he still missed Luke much more than he missed Chris, who had only been gone a few months, and not just because Luke got his burgers just right.
Rory gathered her things, but hesitated. "Um, Mom? Would you mind meeting me at the car? I'd like to have a few minutes with Luke."
"Sure sweets. I'll go warm it up." And she did, glad that she had parked where she could watch the whole exchange through the diner's windows.
When the door closed behind Lorelai, Luke came around the counter to face Rory and leaned back on a stool, crossing his arms. "I hope you know that I'll take good care of her. I can't promise that I'll never hurt her, but I'll do my best. Things are different now, Rory."
"Oh, I know, Luke. I trust you and she can handle herself," she replied. She shifted from one foot to the other nervously. "I didn't really want to talk to you about Mom."
"Oh?" Luke said, a bit relieved, but now curious.
"Yeah, um…" She didn't really know how to say what she wanted to say. It had really only come to her during breakfast that she had something to say to him, so she didn't have an opportunity to think about it or rehearse it. She did know that it was important and it was something she should have told him a long time ago. "You know, when I was growing up, my father wasn't always around. I mean, there were months at a time when he called at least once a week and we'd see him on holidays sometimes, but there were also months at a time, even years, when he didn't call at all."
"Yeah, I kind of knew that." Luke acknowledged.
"Well, some of the times when I needed a father the most, or just when I would have appreciated one the most… When I was sick, my first days of school, when kids made fun of me for being a bookworm, when Dean broke up with me the first time… Well, he wasn't there for me." Luke could see tears forming in those giant blue eyes of hers, but he didn't look away. "And sometimes I felt that when he was there, it was more for my mom than for me, like I was just an excuse for him to be close to her."
She paused and tried to pull herself together. She was only moderately successful.
"He wasn't there for me, Luke, but you were. You were there, and you never, ever made me feel like you were using me to get to Mom." And now he couldn't see her very well because there were tears in his eyes, too. She was choking on her words, but continued anyway, "I felt loved by you, and for myself, for who I was, not who I was related to. You were… You are the best not-really-a-father I could have asked for and I'm so grateful to you… and for you." And then her face was buried in his chest and his arms held her firmly while he kissed the top of her head. "I should have told you this a long time ago."
"I'm so proud of you, Rory," he managed, but his voice cracked. "I'm as proud as if I really was your dad. And I hope you know that I'll always be here for you. Whatever you need, you just ask, okay?"
She nodded, then stood up straight and sniffed while Luke wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and tried to hide his face by looking around as if he had dropped something.
Rory walked toward the door, but turned around with her hand on the knob and said, "Oh, just one more thing, Luke."
"Yeah?"
"Promise me you won't get married without me."
Luke smiled and nodded and said, "You bet."
With that, Rory opened the door and was gone.
~ooooo~
Luke's day was an odd one. It seemed that everyone in Stars Hollow came in for lunch, ate slowly, and loitered about. He could tell by the crowd-Miss Patty, Babette, and Mrs. Cassini in one corner, East Side Tilly in another-and the way they were always looking out the window that they were hoping to see something gossip-worthy. He knew that Lorelai wouldn't be in today, but if he tried to tell any of them, they'd deny that they were waiting for her.
Not that Miss Patty and Babette didn't trust what they had heard the night before, especially after Kirk's description of the make-out session he claimed to have seen that morning, but they really wanted to see it for themselves or at least hear it from the horse's mouth. It didn't feel like real gossip otherwise.
Eventually Miss Patty got tired of waiting and decided to be blunt. "Luke, dear. A little bird told us that you and Lorelai might be… rekindling that old flame. Is it true?" Luke did what he did when the last three people asked him the same question. He looked at them blankly, then walked away.
He gave at least half a dozen repeat performances of this routine throughout the day.
Luke was only mildly annoyed by the attention. After all, it was good for business. Plus, he got a little kick out of leaving them to wonder. But he didn't think the pressure would help his relationship with Lorelai. He also feared that Caesar wouldn't be able to handle the crowd when left in the middle of the dinner rush. He'd rather shut down than miss his 'date' with Lorelai, though, so he called in an extra server for the evening and headed up to the apartment around 6:30 to change.
~ooooo~
True to her word, Lorelai slept the day away. Walking into the empty house after leaving Rory at the airport had made her a little sad, but not nearly as depressed as she had anticipated. She walked Paul Anka, then curled up in bed and slept like a baby until mid-afternoon. When she woke up, she took a long bubble bath and snacked on some of the party leftovers that had found their way to her fridge. It wasn't until she tackled cleaning up that it hit her that Rory was on the other side of the country by now.
Picking up the stray clothes that didn't make it into Rory's suitcase, Lorelai allowed herself a few moments of introspection. That was a mistake. She had thought she was fine, but when she picked up the orange sweater they had been talking about just this morning, panic set in.
Who am I, if I'm not Rory's mom?
Suddenly she couldn't get enough air. Heart racing, she sat down and put her head in her lap, trying to get herself under control. She knew what was happening. She'd had anxiety attacks before. In fact, she had them often since… well, since Luke postponed the wedding. They were so bad when she was married to Christopher that she had to get a prescription to get through the worst of them. But this one was a little different. The source wasn't angst or regret. It wasn't even loneliness. No, the anxiety wasn't a feeling of doom or dread as much as a kind of panic-so many big changes in such a short period of time and so many mixed emotions that she just felt out of control.
Not wanting to take anything for it that would impede her ability to enjoy her evening with Luke, she had to talk herself down.
"Rory has been 'gone' for a long time," she said out loud, to make sure she heard herself. "This isn't new." As she took deep breaths, she felt herself calming down. The self-talk was helping, so she continued. "You're not just Rory's mom. You're the owner of a successful inn. You've got a town that loves and supports you. And you've got Luke." Oh, God, what if I don't really have Luke? What if I blow it again?...
Damn it! Wrong direction, Lorelai!
That seed of self-doubt didn't have time to germinate, however, because the ringing phone interrupted her train of thought.
"Gilmore's house of cards. Queen of hearts speaking."
"Really, Lorelai." It was not a question.
"Hi, Mom."
"Is that any way to answer your phone? What if I'd been a business contact?"
"Well, for one thing, a business contact would call me at the Dragonfly, not at home. For another, I knew it was you-caller ID. What can I do for you, Mom?" For once, Lorelai was grateful that Emily called when she did. The distraction was enough to chase away the panic attack and her heart was no longer racing. Go figure.
"I just wanted to be sure that Rory made it to Ohio okay. She isn't answering her phone."
"Iowa, Mom. Rory is in Iowa. And she's probably just busy. It is her first day at a new job. She texted me when her plane landed. She's good."
"Fine, then. If you hear from her you'll be sure to let her know we're thinking of her, won't you?"
"Of course, Mom. But I'm sure she will call you when she can. Anything else?" Please don't let there be anything else.
"How are you doing?" Um, what?
"How am I doing?" First Pod-Luke, now Bizarro-Emily. Where was this concern coming from?
"Yes, Lorelai, how are you doing? Am I not allowed to ask how my daughter is doing?"
"I'm doing fine, Mom," she answered, not wanting to tell her about the panic attacks. "Thank you for asking."
"Okay… Well… We'll see you Friday at 7. Don't be late," Emily reminded in her usual sharp tone. Good to know that some things don't change.
"Fine, Mom. See you Friday."
Now that she was under control once again, she was determined to stay that way. She cranked up some music and finished the chores without further incident, then headed out for her haircut.
~ooooo~
Lorelai soon regretted walking to the beauty salon instead of driving. Three people stopped her along the way, each asking if she was on her way to the diner. Two winked at her when they did so and the third said, "Really?" as if he didn't believe her when she said "No, I'm not."
When Lorelai walked in the door of the salon, she was sure she heard a few people shushing each other, as if to say "She's here", but maybe it was her imagination...
Nope. There in the corner, under a hair dryer-was Crazy Carrie. And next to Carrie was none other than Debbie Fincher.
"Seriously?" she muttered to herself. The she put on her best I-don't-care-what-you-think smile, waved, and yelled, "Hi, Ladies!" Then nodding, "Carrie, Deb."
"Lorelai," they replied in unison. Four eyes aimed lasers at her as she walked toward Cindy's station.
The salon was abuzz with stories of the party, from Taylor's bizarre (and a bit sickening) introduction of Rory to the soaking that Zack and Lane got when a seam burst in the corner of the tent they were standing under. She could hear Roger telling his client about a drunk Gypsy and an even drunker Andrew getting caught making out behind the gazebo. Now that should be the gossip of the day, Lorelai thought.
Suddenly Cindy grabbed her arm, plopped her into a chair, and immediately started chatting away about how much she enjoyed Kirk's breakdancing exhibition last night and the beautiful nautical-themed cake that Sookie had made for the occasion. Some people (Luke, mainly) thought that Lorelai was a chatterbox, but even she had trouble getting a word in once Cindy got going. While she worked on Lorelai's color, Cindy went on and on about Rory. How proud the town is of her, how she couldn't wait to read what Rory is going to write, the various contributions people had made to the party-how Andrew helped string the lights and Anna set up the tables. Cindy herself had donated baskets for the centerpieces, for which Lorelai managed to get in a "Thank you" when Cindy stopped talking long enough to take a breath. She waited until Lorelai was under the sink, getting rinsed, to hit her with the questions about Luke. Was it true that they were back together? Were they going to get married after all? What about Luke's daughter? Cindy fired at least 5 questions at her without pausing for an answer. When she was finally quiet, Lorelai just stared. It took her a second or two to realize that Cindy was waiting for her to speak.
"Oh, well, we're…" and then Cindy was off again, babbling about how handsome Luke is and isn't Lorelai a lucky woman and won't hearts be breaking all over Stars Hollow now that he's off the market again and it was clear that he was off the market, given what Kirk claims he saw this morning and is Luke a great kisser? because she always imagined that Luke would be a great kisser. Lorelai wasn't proud of herself when she smiled (a real one this time) knowing that Carrie and Debbie heard the whole thing.
Lorelai treated herself to a pedicure while waiting for her color to process, leaving her vulnerable to even more questioning from almost everyone who entered the salon. She'd smile and turn the question back on questioner, saying things like, "What have you heard?" She didn't deny, but didn't confirm. It seems she also enjoyed letting the town figure it out for themselves.
~ooooo~
Less than 5 minutes after Lorelai walked through her door someone was knocking on it. It couldn't be Luke, could it? It was only 6:30. She opened the door to find Babette and Morey smiling at her.
"Hi, Sugah," Babette shouted as soon as the door opened.
"Hi, Babette, Morey. Come in."
"No thanks, honey, we just came by to find out if Rory made it out okay and to see if you wanted to join us for dinner tonight." Lorelai knew that Babette cared, but she was also fishing for the information she didn't get when Lorelai failed to show up at the diner today.
"Rory texted me when she landed, but I don't expect to hear from her until later tonight. I asked her to call and tell me about her first day and I'd like to be home for that, so..."
"Okay, well, would you like us to bring you over something for dinner then? We'll have plenty. Morey's making his famous gumbo." Babette offered.
"Um… I have a date, but thank you for thinking of me."
Babette and Morey exchanged puzzled looks. "A date? We thought… well, we heard…" Lorelai looked at them innocently and Babette seemed to give up. "Wait, didn't you just say you were waiting for Rory to call?"
"Oh, I am. It's a movie night date. He's coming here. And bringing dinner." They'd know soon enough that it was Luke, but it was fun to watch them squirm a little.
"Okay. Well, we just don't want you to get lonely, honey. You'll let us know if you need anything?"
"I will Babette. Thanks again. G'night, Morey." She closed the door and went up to change.
That's when the butterflies started. And she couldn't stop smiling. Putting on makeup with shaking hands was a challenge, but she managed. Deep breathing kept her calm enough, but she was so excited that Paul Anka picked up on it and started whining in sympathy. She went downstairs early and just sat, tapping her foot, while the dog stared at her in anticipation.
The moment she saw his truck entering the driveway she was on her feet, Paul Anka close at her heels. As she opened the door, the dog flew out and she yelled, "He's here, Paul Anka! Look who's here!" He raced down the steps, not even noticing that they were something he was usually afraid of, and bounded toward the man he had missed so much during the last year.
Before Luke could get out fully out of the truck, Paul Anka was all over him, licking and jumping around excitedly. Luke greeted the dog affectionately, "Wow, where is this coming from?"
"He missed you!" Lorelai said, bounding up to the man herself. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him enthusiastically. "So did I," she murmured against his lips. And then they were making out again, like Jess and Shane all those summers ago, forgetting everything except each other. This show made the one they gave Kirk this morning look like an episode of Teletubbies. And it went on and on.
Until they heard Babette's voice yell, "Hey, don't you two ever come up for air?" She and Morey had been sitting on their porch, of course, waiting for Lorelai's date to arrive. Babette was giggling and about to dial the phone to let Patty know that the crisis was over; it was Luke all along.
"We just breath through our noses, Babette," Luke yelled over his shoulder at her, smirking and shocking Lorelai just a little bit. She had expected a "Jeez!", an eyeroll, and perhaps a hat adjustment. This new Luke was interesting indeed.
Luke was about to reach into the cab of the truck to grab the box containing their dinner when he notice the door was closed… with Paul Anka staring out from the driver's seat.
A/N: Next Up "Bon Voyage, Rory Part 2"
