A.N_This is my new story, hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.
I, Santana Lopez have been a logical thinker ever since I could remember. This affected everything, especially my childhood experience. In preschool I was separated from the rest of the class and put into a room where they would give me a test. I never knew what that test was for, but I was still forced to take it. This happened every day for a few months. The questions where "Why is the sky blue?" or "What is the square root of pie?" And I gave the logical answer-The politically correct answer. Not the old 'The rivers, and oceans are reflected in the sky.' No preschooler should even think about those things, but then again I wasn't the average preschooler.
When the results of the tests got back to my family they showed no emotion. No excitement, nothing. (I passed with flying colors.) Actually they were kind of pissed off. Why would the school administer this test behind their back? So because of that I didn't go to school for a few weeks. I guess you could say I missed out on a lot of stuff, but no I really didn't. At the rate they were going a rock would be able to keep up. During my 'childhood' I missed out on everything that should be in a kid's life. And experienced everything that shouldn't. I missed out on the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny. Everything. I grew up too fast. People may mistake this for 'being wise beyond my years' (you have no idea how many times I've heard that) but no, it's not that. It never was.
Forwarding into kindergarten, I had no friends. Everyone hated me because I 'spoiled their imagination' the teacher would say. I sat alone and played alone.I just stayed alone. And I liked it. I was in a classroom with complete idiots. They thought that fairy-tales and unicorns were real. I mean like come on, what era are you from? But then again that is one thing I envied about them the most. They were kids. I was too, but not mentally. They had that sense of innocence to them that I wasn't even close to possessing. Again the teachers separated me and made me take tests. This test though, was different. It was a State Standardized Test that would determine whether I would move up a grade or not. Of course -as usual- I passed with numbers off of the charts. That year they moved me into 2nd grade. So I was 5 years old in the second grade. Usually you're 7 going on 8. My parents wasn't aware of this though, by this time they weren't aware of anything I did anymore. Anyway, finally I felt like this class was going my speed and I enjoyed it. For once I felt normal, and I felt like I could relax. But like everything else in my life it was short lived. One day I walked into class and someone was sitting in my seat. I walked toward her with an underlined determination-well as much as a 5 year old could have-. Her back was toward me so I couldn't see her face. Her hair was blonde and her skin pale. As I walked closer the scent of vanilla and cranberries filled my nostrils. That alone stopped me in my tracks. Nowhere have I ever been that close to smelling paradise. Then my ears heard something they had never before heard.
A laugh. Well not a full on laugh, a giggle more or less. But it was something. A sentiment of happiness. The sound of happiness was foreign on my ears and to my eyes, I needed to know what her face looked like. And as if the Big Man Upstairs read my mind, on cue the girl who sole my seat turned around and it was right there where I found out the true meaning of beauty. Her face. It was flawless, perfection was an understatement.( One hell of an understatement.) Her teeth were as bright as the sun. And her smile. Her angelic smile lead me to believe that I was no longer living. No one but an angle itself could have a smile that blindingly amazing. I was stuck. I hadn't moved since her lovely fragrance filled my nasal cavities. I was frozen, my feet could not carry me any further to my stolen seat. I was there just staring. Like full on stalker-staring, and she noticed me.
Our eyes met and I died a little inside. Man, her eyes. I hadn't noticed them before when she turned around. But damn, they were so blue. Her light, sky blue orbs pierced deep into my soul, and I felt empty and full at the same time. Everything around me stopped. Only the blue eyed, blonde haired beauty and I were there, and moving. Right there, for me nothing else mattered. I didn't even care that she stole my seat. She stole something I didn't even know I had; My heart. Forcing my limbs to move, I slowly walked over to her. When she saw me coming she just smiled. Like she was waiting for me or something. I had to make up some sort of strategy before I went over there and most likely embarrassed myself. So I went with the most cliched one; -I pretended I hated her guts.
Reaching my seat I stood as tall as I could. Her sitting down and me standing up, we were about the same height. I pointed to my name tag that was taped on the desk. "Hey! Blondie, ya see this?"
"Yeah." She said simply
God her voice. So milky and smooth, I could almost feel it gliding down my skin. But I had to stick with the plan. "It's my name tag. Ya know, that indicates where a person sits."
"Yeah I know. It says 'Santa'. I'm sitting here so I can tell him what I want for Christmas without having to write a letter. I never know how to start those. 'Dear Santa' is so predictable."
Her response made me rethink my approach, and slow down a little. Actually looking at the name tag I take notice that it did say 'Santa'. That was when I remembered I didn't have time to finish writing the other half of my name because it was toward the end of the day, and we had to leave. But really? She thought that Santa Clause himself attended this classroom. For the first time I didn't find someones lack of awareness, nor common sense annoying or unbearable. I surprisingly found it alluring. It interested me, and I instantly wanted to know more about her, but my plan was still in motion.
"Santa. Really? For one he's not even real, and two why would Santa Clause be in the second grade? He's a grown up." I said, as snarky as I could.
She seemed unfazed by my comment, and tone. Like she expected me to come off as such. It irritated me. She didn't know me. And the way she shrugged off my clear hatred for her provoked me as well. From that little observation I inferred that she was used to people talking to her like that. That alone pissed me off. No one should talk to her like that. I know I was but that was different. It didn't count.
"What's your name?" She asked completely changing the subject.
"Umm. It's Santana. I would ask you for your name, but that would mean that I'm interested in having you as a friend. And I'm not." I replied back.
A look of pain clouded her too blue eyes, and I saw the color darken a little. This plan was backfiring very quickly. I could not keep this up much longer, and I knew it.
"You don't want to be my friend. Why?" The seat stealer asked in such a small voice all I wanted to hug her. But I couldn't;my plan.
"Well if you get out of my seat I'll be happy to inform you." The new girl got up and I noticed that she was taller than me, I kinda figured she would be though. I was 5 years old. She moved to the seat directly in front of mine and stared intently at me waiting for an explanation. It was sort of scrutinizing being under her gaze like that, but I couldn't let it show.
"So.." She started
"So what?"
"Are you gonna tell me why you don't want to be my friend?" She asked. Now she was getting a little frustrated. Her cheeks were turning redder by the minute.
"Well I see no purpose in having allies-well 'friends' you call them- when every single one of us in this room is terminal. Everybody will leave at some point. Eventually everything will end, and there will be no purpose in anything." After my spiel I sat down, content with my answer.
Her scrutinizing stare soon turned into a full on observation. She was either trying to decipher what I just said, or she was trying to decipher me. Noting the look of understanding in her eyes, I could tell she had some sense of my reason. But underneath the understanding there was some inquisition. A part of her wanted to figure me out. I just didn't know how big that part was.
"Well isn't that all the more reason to have friends? And if we were friends I wouldn't leave you." Her words were surprising. But the most surprising thing about them was that I believed them. If anyone else would have said that to me I would have shrugged it off and called them impractical. But it was the way she said it. The honesty behind her words could convince me to do anything.
"Really, I find that highly unlikely."
"We can pinkie swear on it, but you have to promise me too." She said as she held out her pinkie for me to take.
I was skeptical at first,-I mean who really based real promises on pinkies- but soon I took it. I figured the sooner I gave in, the sooner she would drop the subject. As my small tan pinkie clasped onto her slightly-bigger pale one, I could not help but notice the way our pigment complimented one another's. The contrast between light and dark fit together well. I think she noticed it too because looking down at our conjoined pinkies she was smiling.
Quickly letting go I asked,"What are you smiling for?"
Looking up at me with a smile so bright it almost pained me to look directly at her, she replies with, "You just agreed to become my friend."
Replaying our conversation I realize that I did. Me and this girl that I hardly even knew where friends, and pigs weren't flying. Did hell freeze over? Nope. I actually had a friend. Pretty shocking, huh. And I didn't even know her name.
"So since were 'friends' now, do you care to share your name with me?" I ask halfheartedly, even though I'm dying to know.
"My name is Brittany. Brittany S. Pierce. Try not to get it confused with Brittany Spears though because I used to all the time."
I decided to not think about the inferred cliche in that statement. I mainly focused on how the name fit her so well. She was bubbly and bouncy like a Brittany. And she was sorta 'slow' like one too.
"O-kay," I said sounding very awkward. The jig was up, you can't be mean to your friend. At least I don't think you can. I've never had one before. I do know you're supposed to get to know them though. "Umm, do you have any hobbies?"
"Yeah, I like to dance, I started 3 years ago. You?" ...
Well that is what the entire day consisted of. Us getting to know each other. Well me trying to find out everything about her as fast as humanly possible. She was the most intriguing human being I ever met. Her random, yet interesting facts kept me on my toes the entire day. I really did not know that dolphins were just gay sharks. Never too old to learn I guess. -well in my case too young-
She was different, and I loved it and hated it all at the same time. Every time she would laugh my stomach would flip and turn, and it irritated me to no end. How could a person have that much control over me and not even try. And it was a girl. Yes a girl. This was one thing my mind couldn't comprehend. Why did I feel this way about a girl and not a guy? I have and mom and a dad, not a mom and a mom. This messed me up for a long time. One thing my parents managed to drill into my head was the Bible.
"Man shall not lie with man nor women with women." My mom and dad would tell me. I was brought up being told that I should follow the Bible and live by it. So being 5 years of age and knowing that you are an abomination in Gods eyes was a heavy thing to take. Also knowing that no matter what, you are pretty much damned to Hell also made me do a lot of reconsidering. This is absolutely too much for a 5 year old to take. But that was me. The 'logical thinking' 5 year old. I wasn't as naive as all the other girls I've heard about. I knew that this wasn't some phase, or that it was going to go away. This was a part of my life. A part of my story.
Knowing that I would be going to Hell simply because of what gender I was attracted to, I tried to distance my self from Brittany. I figured the less I see her, the less I will think of her. The less I think of her, the less I would... like her? I really believed that the plan was fool-proof. Yeah, I was kinda wrong about that.
I walked into my classroom and there was Brittany.- Sitting at her own seat this time.- I figured if I take the band-aid approach,-say what I had to say quick and fast- It would hurt her less. Hurt me less. Trying to make my facial features as stoic as possible I walk over to my soon to be ex-friend. But something caused me to stop, well someone. It was Puck, he was talking to Brittany. 'What is Puck doing with Brittany?' I thought as started to walk faster towards her. Puck was a jerk-still is- even in the 2nd grade. And I tried my hardest to keep his perverted, creeper ass away from her. But when I saw her laugh I knew that she wasn't in danger, or in any way harmed. But seeing him being the reason that Brittany's laughter was flooding into my ears gave way to an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I do believe the feeling is jealousy. Yes it was. I was jealous, I was the one who was supposed to make her laugh, not Puck. I marched over there, my previous plan soon forgotten. (Apparently my awareness of people was too. I pushed like six people to get to Brittany.)
Seeing me approach Brittany smiled. There it was; my stomach doing that thing it does when Brittany even acknowledges me. "Hey San."
"Wassup Lopez." Puck said while he turned towards me.
Completely surpassing Puck's greetings I go straight for Brittany. "Hey Britt, umm could I talk to you for a minute?"
Before Brittany could even answer my question, Puck interjected. "But I was talking to her."
"Does it look like I care what you were doing imbecile."
A look of confusion was plastered on his face. He had no idea what I just called him. I had no time to laugh, my priority was Brittany. "Brittany..." I started.
"Oh, yea we could talk." Turning around to Puck she said. "Wait a minute." All Puck did was nod in her direction as he started lurking for some new pray.
"So, San what did you want to talk to me about?" She asks. Completely oblivious to the bombshell I was about to drop.
"Brittany...I don't...I don't think I could..." That was all she needed to hear to get the gist of what I was trying to say. I didn't have the heart to look up at her while she spoke.
"San, San don't do this." She said as she stepped closer and took my hand in hers. In a small voice she said, "You promised me."
Shit. I did promise her, but I didn't know what this would turn into. The first time I seen her, she was stunning but I only noticed her appearance. But ever since I befriended her, her mind overcame her body. I started to become attracted to her mentally, and this 'friendship' became much more than what it was. Well for me it had. I didn't know what Brittany felt.
"I know but.." She cut me off
"San I haven't had a friend like you. A friend who isn't so quick to give up or walk away from me like everyone else has. San please don't do this." Tears were flowing down her face freely, and I hated that I was the cause of that. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, I just didn't know it was going to be this hard.
"Brittany..I can't." No words have ever felt that sour on my tongue, and the look Brittany gave me made me them taste even worse. She walked away from me and left me standing there like a big idiot. Then I remembered something. I also helped her with her homework, and studied with her for upcoming tests. Without me helping her she wouldn't pass the second grade. I could not move on without her.
Months had passed and Brittany still hadn't talked to me. I knew she was failing, but she didn't know I knew. So when she would hand in tests, I would hand in mine shortly after. Then I would pretend I forgot to write my name on it, and go back and get it. Only I wouldn't get my test, I would get hers. Correcting any mistakes I find but that wasn't enough. She was still going to fail. So I came up with a different approach.
I decided, 'if she was going to fail, I was going to fail.' It was my fault that she wasn't on the right path. My stupid idea backfired like a bitch, -me unfriending Brittany was a disaster. I thought about her so much I couldn't sleep.- so I had to figure out a way to make up for it. I figured this was the only way to make up for it. I stopped handing in all of my homework, and scored as low as possible. Lemme tell you, it is way easier to fail then pass.
In no time I had the lowest grade in the class-apart from Brittany's- and everything was going according to plan. Soon I would be repeating the second grade. But news got out that Brittany was failing, and people started making fun of her. She would tell them to leave her alone, and hold her ground. But slowly I saw her self-esteem deteriorating and I couldn't do anything about it. She wouldn't let me. She was still mad, and I didn't blame her. (even though I wished she would talk to me)
One day Puck, and his new girlfriend Quinn walked up the Brittany and started talking to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I saw Brittany's cheeks flush red, and her eyes harden. They apparently said something that she didn't like. Then her facial features changed completely. Her hard, and defensive facade changed to little and helpless very quickly, and I just could stand it.
Quickly walking over to were they were I stood in front of Brittany-out of habit- and began to defend her.
"Hey! If I were you I would walk away, or or you're gonna get a visit from Snix."
"Really." Quinn said "And who is Snix?"
"You don't wanna know." Brittany answered behind me. I chanced a look back and caught a smile from her. That gave me even more courage.
"Believe her." I said backing her up. "Snix has razor blades all in her hair. Just all up in there."
The look of terror that shone on their faces were priceless. "Lets go babe." Puck said as he grabbed Quinn's hand and led her away from us. When they left, I turned around to face Brittany.
"I'm am so sorry Brittany. I shouldn't have left you when you needed me the most. I was stupid, and careless. Can we be friends again? Please." Whew, that was a lot to say. Well at least for me. I've never apologized to anyone before. Brittany was changing everything about me. I'm not complaining though.
Brittany looked like she was weighing her options. I just hoped that she would agree to be come my friend again.
"Well," She started."If I agree to become your friend again you have to promise me something."
"Yes, anything."
"Okay. Never friend-breakup with me again. Promise?" She said.
This time I was the one who initiated the pinkie promise. -Who knew, It may become our thing.
She looked at my pinkie and smiled while taking it. "I promise, Brittany."
So there it is, the beginning of my new story.
Please review to let me know what you think. -weather it is good or bad-
Also sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors.
