A/N someone requested an explanation of rule 2, so here it is, also I'm writing this on my iPad so I apologize for any mistakes. Also, everything I write is unbeta'd.
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Rule #2. Don't touch Starks coffee machine. He's very emotionally attached to it.
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It was just an ordinary June morning at Stark tower. The avengers were sitting around, eating breakfast and preparing for the day. Steve was sitting at the head of the table reading the paper, while Thor and Clint sat on his left wrestling for the last pop tart. Bruce sat to Steve's right, drinking herbal tea, and Natasha was sitting next to him reading a thick book that no one could pronounce the name of. That's when it happened, the event that will go down in history as the day Stark finally lost his marbles.
Something was violently slammed onto the table causing everyone except for Natasha (stupid spy) to jump in surprise. The object lying on the table was some kind of strange looking machine, and standing behind it was one angry looking billionaire. "Who. Used. My. Coffee. Machine?!"
Natasha raised an eyebrow and left knowing Stark wouldn't be so stupid as to accuse her. Bruce picked up his mug and slowly walked away muttering something that sounded like. "It's too early for this." Clint and Thor continued to wrestle for pop tarts, which left Steve to calm the ecstatic billionaire down.
"Stark, what's the problem now?" Steve asked as he rubbed a hand across his face. Bruce was right, it was too early for this.
"Someone used my coffee machine, changed the settings, and now it only brews chocolate lattes instead of delicious coffee! I demand that the person who did this comes forward and confesses!"
"Stark, you're a self proclaimed genius, can't you just fix the coffee machine yourself?"
"Not until the culprit comes forward and confesses!" Stark slammed his hand angrily on the table causing the coffee machine to rattle.
Steve, knowing that Stark wouldn't let this go until he found the 'culprit' agreed to help him, "Fine. Let's go."
Steve led Stark into the living room and sat him down on the couch. "Now, let's think about this rationally. We can automatically rule out Thor since he can barely function the toaster without burning the entire tower down. Clint does love to pull pranks but he doesn't have a death wish, and even he knows not to mess with your coffee machine. Obviously I didn't do it because, although I'm adapting to modern times, I still don't know how to reprogram a high tech coffee machine. Natasha could've done it, except she just got back from a mission this morning and has been gone for the past month, so she had no time to sneak into your workshop and tamper with your coffee maker. That leaves Bruce, and you and I both know that Bruce would never do something like that. So, who do you think that leaves?"
"Well," Star, scratched his chin in thought, "the only person you didn't mention is me."
"Precisely." Steve folded his arms across his chest.
"But that makes no sense! Why would I tamper with my own coffee machine?!" Stark threw his hands into the air.
Steve smiled smugly as he left the room with a befuddled Stark sitting on the couch, "Why don't you ask JARVIS?"
"J?"
"Sir, you changed the coding on the coffee machine last Tuesday while intoxicated. Apparently, your drunk self thought it was hilarious."
"Oh."
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A/N: I should have the next twenty or so rules up soon. Thanks for everyone who reviewed, favorited, and liked! Please let me know what you think!
