When I did I realise I was attracted to Jake Dean? Well, it's been a while and I can't recall the exact moment. He wasn't my usual type, and I'd only been with a couple of lads before but last night with Jake I felt so good. So wanted. So fucking used and I loved it.
Me and Craig had been together on and off for a year now. I thought we had a good relationship- the sex was always good, not brilliant but good but we always worked hard and I did love him I guess. But then he broke my heart. It was a cold December night and I had just finished my last night at work before the holidays. I was excited about spending my first christmas with Craig and he had given me keys to his flat. I guess it meant he wanted to take our relationship to the next step. I had come from work, hoping to cuddle up to my boyfriend whilst watching a horror movie but what I saw was a horror movie in itself. There was my boyfriend Craig, on his bedroom floor, moaning and pounding a naked body. A female naked body. A female naked body that just happened to me by best friend Sarah Barnes.
I left the flat before he noticed that I was there. I never did tell him what I saw but had decided to get revenge on him. You might think that is stupid and pathetic and I would agree with you wholeheartedly. The plan was to have sex with Justin but he had been a mate for a while and it would have confused both of us. You see, Justin was going through the whole bisexual phase which totally meant he was a fag but couldn't admit it to himself.
I guess the first time I realised Jake possibly liked me was during a family meal at Christmas with the Osbornes. It was a subtle look in the eye but that subtle look into his eyes revealed lust and wanting. Then we accidently touched hands when pulling a cracker and the sparks just flew. It was electric.
It was January 2nd and Craig had told me that he was going away on a buisness trip. Which meant, of course, that he was going away for a dirty weekend with that slut. I threw a party to cheer myself up and invited all my best friends. My best friend Hannah, who had been dating my half brother Niall Rafferty for a couple of months came as did her brother Rhys and his girlfriend Nancy. Jake also came and I was surprised that his girlfriend Loretta wasn't with him. They were usually joined at the fucking hip.
Everyone had left pretty early and me and Jake were left to tidy the mess up. Jake told me that he had something to tell me which surprised me, I was washing up some cups when he blurted it out.
"Craig is having an affair" he said. I turned around to look at him. He was sitting on the side and smoking a cigarette. "With Sarah" he added quietly.
I smirked knowingly. "I know".
He was shocked at this. "What do you mean you know? My brother is having an affair with a girl, and you know? Have you said something to him?"
I shrugged. "No"
He groaned nonchantly and then I blurted out a question that shocked even me. It must have been the booze.
"How long have you been in love with me?"
Of course- the denial started. "What the fuck? In love with you. Fuck off I'm not a poof. Ew!"
I simply walked over to him and put my hand on his knee. He was putty in my hands.
So that was it. We had dirty, passionate sex on the kitchen side then he left. It was Sunday now and I hadn't heard from Jake for 27 hours. Craig was also due home later this evening.
I decided that I had to see Jake again. I used him purely for my own selfish sexual gratification at first but something in my brain was telling me to go and see Jake and it wasnt the brain in my head it was the brain in my boxers. We had the most intense sex together- pent up frustration and it was fucking brilliant.
I knocked on his flat door and I expected the door to be slammed in my face. He didn't slam the door in face. Instead, he sighed and let me in. His flat was extremly tidy which was not like Jake at all. He usually lived in a pig sty. I expected that Loretta had been around and given it a dometistic going over.
Slut.
He sat on his sofa and was drinking a can of beer. The football was on the telly.
"Who's winning?" I asked not really caring.
"Chelsea" he replied
"Tossers"
We both laughed.
We sat and watched the football together, occasionally I touched his knee or he touched my hand, and drank a couple of beers. Chelsea ended up beating Liverpool 5-3 but we had a laugh.
Then I kissed him.
Laying in bed afterwards, I rested my head in his furry chest. It was a mans chest unlike Craigs waxed and tanned chest. We were both sweating and panting.
"I can't believe.. Your my brothers fucking boyfriend" Jake said as he stroked my hair.
"It's a shock to me. I never expected to feel like this.. " I said to him.
I looked up at him and we kissed again. I looked at the time on the clock by the bed and got out and started to get dressed.
He looked at me. Like really looked at me.
"I love you you know John Paul" he said, a smile on his face. His eyes telling the same story.
"I know"
Craig got home at about 11.00pm and he tried to initiate sex between us but it wasn't going to happen tonight.
"I'm too tired" I lied as we lay in bed. He was in bed and he had his hand on his erect penis.
"Just suck me off then" he said.
I didn't. Instead, I just casually wanked him off.
He came within minutes.
"You seem a little weird, you okay babes?" he said to me as he snuggled in my chest.
"No. I'm having amazing sex with your brother who not only gives me the best, hard fucking sex I've ever had in my life but he loves me" I didn't say.
"I'm fine" I lied.
"You sure?"
"Positive"
"What are your plans for tomorrow? I'm back at work"
"Going round to your brothers where I'm going to get fucked so hard it might wake the neighbours" Of course I never said that. Pussy.
"Just laze about"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"
"I love you" he said
"I know" I replied.
