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Mr Wickham

Mr Wickham,

Please notice I do not say 'dear' Mr Wickham. This is because you are a paedophile and there for nawt dear to me.

When you were younger I assume that older Mr Darcy took you to church and you will have studied the bible, I myself am an atheist but I like to prove a point. In you religion it says that it's a bit naughty to lie. You have done so. Naughty naughty.

At my school if people mention your name we all shout 'agrh! I hate Wickham!' I can safely say that this is because you almost got in the way of Darcy and Elizabeth. You also do realise that if you hadn't made up a lie, you wouldn't seem half as disgusting as you do currently. Actually to be fair yes you would.

Another thing that makes you despicable is the incident with both Georgiana and Lydia, they were about 15 and 16 and you're what like, 30? Seriously dude, that's wrong. In my country, England, we call this behaviour paedophilia. I disown you from England; you may reside in Scotland instead.

What were you really looking for in Lydia, was it just revenge on Darcy, or are you sick minded? Is it a bit of both? 'Cos if I were to go for a sister, I would get Mary, she needed more time devoted to her. Why do you hate her Wickham why?

Did you join the army in hopes that it would put you on the straight and narrow or was it quite for the opposite reasons; did you hope to chase tail in Hertfordshire? Shame on you sir! Most of the ladies here actually own several brain cells, besides Lydia I grant you.

I wish to spend no more time on you at present Mr Wickham but expect more letters from me soon.

Yours not so sincerely as I am a hater, the good kind who kicks you arse because you deserve it, not because I enjoy it, (well maybe a little.)

Nicola

Okay here you go, I really want to write to Mr Darcy and Elizabeth but I am going to wait until later. Let it be known that I want to complement as much as criticise. Review please and tell me who to write to next. I really want your opinion. To me a review is like Colin Firth coming of of the lake all over again. Also I think that next on the chopping block is Mrs Bennet, thoughts?