Chapter 2
Years after I found myself heartbroken, I was still not fully healed. I had found Leah, she was a great girl and I liked her. She was a great looking girl, can't ignore that fact. The thing was that for years I didn't seem to find the right girl. I knew the girl I once wanted was married to some idiot in Oregon. The sound of his name just boggles me, Edward….what a douche. He took away my best friend. He took away the love of my life. I thought that by letting her go, I was doing the right thing but I wasn't aware that he would literally take her away. He stripped her of her family, of her friends, and of me. She left this town with nothing and she was happy to, because she was doing this for him.
Obviously, I wasn't always in love with her but around the time Edward walked into town I was sure that I didn't like seeing her with someone else. She dated in high school but it was never serious, not like it was with him. They were inseparable and very quickly he was squeezing me out of her life until the day he asked her not to see me or have any sort of contact with me. When I heard that, I thought it was ridiculous and I never thought she would comply but to my dismay, she seemed more than willing.
I waited for her to come back to me but that never happened. Eventually I tried to find a girl who made me feel like she did and I failed miserably. I did find a girl who made me feel something but it was never like before, I suppose it doesn't work that way. Leah and I were good, we were the same person.
Tonight we drove to my house, where her car was, returning from yet another one of our friends' wedding. It was getting a little weird. Everyone seemed to be popping the question. I had been to five wedding in the past year and I was the best man in three of them. To be fair four of them were friends from college and one was someone from the rez.
I pulled into my driveway around one in the morning. "Mind if I stay over, it's a long drive home."
I chuckled. "You live down the street."
"It's a long drive."
"If I tried I could totally see your house."
"Yes or no?"
What kind of question was she asking me? It was like asking a mouse if it wanted cheese. "Duh."
She led the way inside after I unlocked the door. She shut the door behind us and pushed me roughly back into the door. I did not hesitate, it was a rare occasion when she was the initiator.
Her lips were sweet and her skin soft as a rose pedal but she was rough, rough for a girl. She was a guy, deep inside. She was the girl version of me. Maybe that's why I loved her so much.
We left a trail of clothes to the bedroom.
"Leah." I whispered against her lips.
"I know." She smiled against my kiss. She proceeded to take her earring off. I hated that thing, it was a lonely piercing at the top of her ear and it scratched the hell out of me. She didn't like to take it off because she didn't want to lose it but even when she hugged me the earring managed to scratch my face. It was the one thing I couldn't stand. It was a pointy silver dolphin that she refused to switch for another. She never gave me a reason why, it was one of those things.
***
We lay in bed after and she drew shapes across my stomach. "Do you ever think of getting married?" She said abruptly. It made my heart falter. Marriage was like the word baby. It was intimidating to say the least. She felt my body tense and she pulled back. "I mean how do you know when you're ready…to get married?" She'd already said too much, I was already freaking out for no good reason. It's not like she was proposing but I felt like she was hinting at something.
She had every right, she was asking the obvious. We'd been together for a long time. Embry only knew Kim for a little over a year before he proposed. They just got married, tonight. Leah and I have been together for two years and I've never even considered it. It wasn't that I didn't want to get married to her. I've just never put any sort of thought into it.
"Do you want to get married?" I asked.
She sat, pulling the sheets to her chest. "I know you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."
I sighed and sat up. I didn't want her to be mad at me. "Leah, I've never thought about it. I know it seems stupid but I honestly never think about that stuff."
"I find that hard to believe." She retort. "How do you just not think about it? It's your future and you've never thought about it? It seems like you don't care."
"You know I'm not good at this stuff." I argued. "I'm a guy."
She shrugged. "Neither am I."
I didn't like that she was feeling this way. She was taking my comments the wrong way. "If I get married," I began, "it's going to be –" I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I glanced at the clock and it was two in the morning.
"Who the hell is that?" Leah said annoyed. I was a little annoyed myself.
"I don't know." I muttered then slid off the bed and followed the trail of clothes to the door. I put on some clothes, to look decent. I took my dress shirt and tossed it to Leah who reached out for it. After I collected the remainder of our clothes I opened the door. It had better not be some crazy fool or I was going to be extremely upset.
I swung the door open and there was no one on the porch, which was because the person was walking away. It was a girl, I could see her shadow. I looked closer and there she was, beautiful as ever. "Bella?"
She breathed in sharply.
"Jake! Who the hell is out there at this time?" Leah screamed from inside and then proceeded to come to the door wearing only my shirt.
"Leah, get some clothes on." I said lowly.
"Who is she?" She hissed.
"I'll take care of it." I put my hand on her shoulder and pushed her forward and closed the door.
"Hey." Bella said in a whisper.
"So it's like that? Your pathetic excuse for a husband forces you to alienate yourself from me and then you show up in the middle of the night to say 'hey,' can't help but think there's something up. What do you want from me?" It came out and I wasn't really thinking, I'd never acted this way towards her I was upset, or so I thought, after seeing her, those feelings were twisted.
"I'm sorry, clearly you're…in the middle of something. I'll go."
"Wait." I had to admit that my feelings were officially twisted, I was now happy to see her. "I…I can't be mad at you. Not even after this, I find it troubling but I'm sure you're happy to hear that."
I expected her to say something but instead she began to cry.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.
She nodded. "Yeah…I'm just…I missed you."
He looked at me closely. "Why are you here?" He whispered.
"I'm here to let you rub it in." Her voice broke ever so slightly. "He…Edward…asked for a divorce."
I didn't quite know how to feel about it. I tried to not be so shocked but it was not an easy task. Obviously she didn't want to be alone. "Come in."
She shook her head trying to dry away the tears. "No, you're…busy."
I took her by the hand and walked her in. I sat next to her on the couch. "What happened?"
"Jake." Leah said in an accusatory tone. "A word." I grabbed Leah's dress and went over to her.
"Yes."
"This will be the second time I ask you. Who is that?"
I had been careful not to use Bella's name because Leah new about her. She knew everything about me, including how upset I was over Bella's departure. Bella seemed to be a threatening memory for Leah and although she didn't know her, she didn't like her.
"It's…she's Bella."
Her mouth parted but no words came out.
"She's having a hard time."
"Tell her to leave, she broke your heart and you're letting her waltz back into your life."
"No."
"I don't want her here."
"It doesn't matter, she's my friend."
She scoffed. "You can't have it both ways. She's either your friend or the girl who broke your heart. Which is it?"
"Don't make me chose."
"I don't need to hear the rest. It's obviously going to be her." She pushed me out the door and slammed it shut.
Moments later she emerged, fully dressed. "I'm going home." She threw my shirt to my face. "Have fun, catching up." She took her keys from the floor and left.
"I'm sorry."
"She'll get over it."
"It was hard to ignore to comments she made. What did she mean by 'the girl who broke your heart,' what does that have to do with me?"
"She's upset, let's leave it at that. Why don't you tell me what happened with Edward?"
She took a deep breath. "I'm wondering about that. I did everything that I could possibly do. I moved to Portland so that he could go to medical school, I sacrificed myself and I spent so much time alone, waiting for him and soon I dropped my expectations and I began to fend for myself. It's not my fault." Her voice broke and her tears resumed. "I don't think it's my fault."
"It's not your fault, Bella, he's a –"
"Please." She halted. "I may be angry but somehow I can't bear to hear you badmouth him."
"I despise him on every level imaginable but I he was halfway decent." It was hard to admit that but I had to.
"I don't know what happened. I kept waiting for him to come back to me. I would sit alone on the dinner table waiting for him to come home. When I…when I got pregnant I thought things would change."
"You two have a baby?" I asked utterly taken aback.
She cried harder.
"I'm sorry." I obviously had said something wrong.
She sniffled and tried to catch her breath. "I had a miscarriage six months ago. He wasn't there, he wasn't there." She repeated again and again.
"Bell –"
"He was an intern and he wasn't there. Now he's a resident and he still not there but he called it quits, he gave up on us." She brought her knees up to her chest and cried like there was no tomorrow.
It was ridiculous how easily she could make me forget everything. I had just let my girlfriend walk out. I was quite literally on the verge of telling her that I would marry her someday, that I wouldn't marry anyone if not her. I had just let that girl walk out the door for Bella and I didn't even hesitate.
