(A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so glad you're liking my sequel! So much love! I'm drowning in it! WOOTNESS! By the way, wootness IS my copyrighted word and I will sue you if you use it without quoting me scowls And now, ON WITH THE FIC!)
Hope you have lots of babies
Hope you get a real good job
Hope you don't mind company
Cause we'll be here a lot
"Boys? Do you have a gue-oh…my." Mikayla murmured eyebrows raising slightly upon entering the family room and spotting Kadaj. She crossed the room in three strides of her long legs and had his face in her hands, gazing at him in a mixture of wonder and appraisal, "Boys…is this a relative of yours? He looks just like you."
"Yes, mother. He's our youngest brother, Kismet." Sephiroth replied evenly as a slow smile appeared on his adoptive mother's lips, "We were separated years ago, and he finally managed to track us down."
"Well, big families are best, so what's one more child? Welcome to the family, hunny." Mikayla replied cheerfully, pulling a rather startled Kadaj into a tight hug, "We're happy to have you!"
"Uh…um…" Kadaj babbled out, feeling an uncomfortable heat rise in his face at this strange woman embracing him for no apparent reason, "That is to say…um…I uh…er…uh…um-"
It was completely understandable reaction. Kadaj had had no physical contact with any living being that wasn't sadistic in nature. Even amongst his 'brothers', was limited contact, if they had any at all. So this act of compassion was almost beyond his capacity to understand.
"Well aren't you a doll?" Mikayla laughed, noticing his bewildered expression and giving Kadaj a light kiss on the forehead, "Don't you worry, sweetie. I don't bite. Boys? Why don't you three show him the ropes while I call the courthouse and toss some chicken into the oven?"
"Alright mom. We'll give him the grand tour." Loz interjected smoothly, clapping his hands around Kadaj's shoulders as Mikayla made her way back into the kitchen
"Remind me to hit all of you later." Kadaj muttered under his breath, drawing snickers from Sephiroth, Yazoo and Loz, "You're such self righteous bastards."
"Oh do shut up little brother." Loz smiled, pulling the youngest remnant into a headlock and giving him a noogie before letting him go, looking like a disgruntled cat.
"I hate you. You know that, right?" Kadaj growled, running his finger back through his hair in a quick motion to smooth it back into place.
"We love you too, little brother." Yazoo replied with a smirk, "But don't forget, this isn't about you. This about stopping our sister's wedding."
"Glad to see your train of thought hasn't derailed with all this insanity." Kadaj snorted, trying to play it off like he hadn't allowed himself to become completely thrown by something so simple as a hug, "So…how did that woman come to…you know…"
"You want to know how she came to adopt us." Sephiroth said, a slow smirk appearing on his face, "If you must know, it's one of the main reasons we're so adamant on stopping this wedding. Jayden took us in after some…unpleasantness, and after she heard we had no family to speak of, Mikayla took it upon herself to adopt us."
"I see." Kadaj said, massaging the bridge of his nose, "And you don't have to continue to press the issue of your…sister. I've already agreed to help. The real concern is what tactic to use to force those two apart. Personally, I think we should just kill him and stop wasting our precious time."
"Not an option, I'm afraid. Unlike Gaia, a dead body won't be so easily overlooked." Loz said lazily, picking his teeth with his pinky nail, "We have to separate them in a way that won't look so suspicious."
"So easy to shoot down an suggestion yet so difficult to come up with one yourselves." Kadaj muttered sullenly, folding his arms over his front.
"Okay Reno, You've had enough. I'm cutting you off now." Jayden said calmly, extracting the glass of bourbon from her fiancé's grasp.
"Whadd're you talkin' 'bout, yo?" Reno slurred out tersely, shooting his future bride a look of annoyance, "I can still see straight. I can handle two or five more-"
"Your confidence, while inspiring, is induced in large part by the alcohol, Red." Jayden said wanly, striding across the kitchen to pour the contents of the glass down the drain, "And I'd prefer you stop now while you're still sober enough to…whaddya think you're doing?"
"I thought that'd be obvious since you're the straight edge one t'night." Reno said, resting his chin on her shoulder and sliding his arms around her waist, "I'm molestin' my girl…and I plan to do a lot more than that, yo."
"R-Reno? Hate ta burst your bubble, but no premarital sex!" Jayden yelped gripping Reno's wrists as his fingers began working at the button of her jeans, his full weight pushing against her, forcing her forward.
"Nice t' know that's where your minds at, yo." Reno smirked, moving easily despite the obstructions around his wrists. When Jayden let out a squeak of protest and started digging her nails into his skin, Reno let out a snicker, "I won't go that far...this time. Just heavy pettin'…real heavy…hehehe."
"Ugh, you're sucha perv!" Jayden groaned as she felt the unmistakable sensation of the button of her jeans coming undone and felt Reno trying to get his hands down the front of her pants, "Knock it off! I don't wanna be angry with you, but if you keep pushin' me-!"
"Alright, alright." Reno grumbled, stopping his activity and wrapping his arms around her waist, giving her a squeeze, "I swear, you're no fun at all."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm a total prude." Jayden replied casually, loosening her grip on his wrists and leaning into him slightly, "Come on, Reno. Go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow."
"But what'm I sposda do about this, yo?" Reno asked whinily, rubbing his erection against her and moving his hands downward on his fiancé's jeans, thinking she'd lowered her guard somewhat.
"Go in the bathroom with a Hustler." Jayden countered smoothly, lifting both arms over her head and performing a rather impressive tuck and roll across the kitchen floor.
"Ah-awww!" Reno cried as she rose quickly off the floor and pranced off towards her room, "Seriously? …weak man. Really weak."
"Good night, Red." Jayden called over her shoulder, darting into her room and closing the door with a snap, shutting out Reno's infuriated ranting.
She really didn't mind social drinking, she really didn't. Reno just liked to take it a step beyond that. To level of insobriety to where it would only take about three more shots of tequila to make him physically unattractive to her.
On some level, Jayden had an inkling Reno knew this as the occasions where he got loose with his liquor were becoming a rarer occurrence…but they still happened. And when they did, hoo boy, you better pad the windows, lock the doors and hide the dog.
She sighed and snuggled under the covers, saying a silent prayer that this wouldn't be one of those nights where she would have to threaten Reno with Sephiroth impaling him on a stick and roasting over a cracklin' fire.
It was on nights like these that Jayden slept very lightly and the slightest noise had her bolting upright and reaching for the clock on her nightstand. And the apartment was old and was almost constantly settling so she was roused almost every two minutes.
"Look, I said I was sorry, yo." Reno said, massaging his temple with his right hand, working over the area where his fiancé had wailed him in the head with her digital clock, "So I got hammered and tried to do th' nasty with you. Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens."
"Only because when you tried to have your way I used the Sephy-threat." Jayden retorted, hand wrapped around Reno's left as the pair made their way through the crowds, "This really has to stop, Red. I hate the idea of having to sic my older brother on my fiancé, but I will if it becomes necessary."
"Hey, don't I always stop when you ask me to, drunk or not?" Reno pressed, pulling Jayden back and forcing her to stop in the middle of the high-traffic sidewalk, "Answer me frankly, yo."
"…yes." She sighed, flushing slightly, giving his hand a tug as an indication to start moving again, "I know subconsciously you'll stop if I ask you to. I honestly do, it's just that you-"
"It's alright, babe." Reno said, with a smile, tugging her towards him and pulling her into a hug, "It's just cuz I make you nervous, right? Cuz you know what'm capable of?"
Jayden felt the heat in her face increase and, burying her face in Reno's jacket, nodded, "'m sorry. I know you'd never intentionally hurt me, but…you're so much stronger than me."
"Hey, didn't I tell you before I'd be gentle with ya?" Reno snorted, kissing the top of her head, "Ellie, if I'd wasn't being careful right now, I could've snapped your spine in half."
Jayden peeked up at Reno, who took the opportunity when it presented itself to swoop down and plant one on her mouth.
"You've nothin' to worry about. But…" He smirked, noting how red and flustered she looked after he pulled away, "…you aren't allowed to show that face to anyone but me, y' got it? It's dangerous, yo."
"…you're weird." Jayden mumbled, still a bit dazed. She became aware of the stares they were receiving from passerbyes, she wriggled to free herself from Reno's clutches, "C'mon, we have to scope out possible wedding sites."
Instead of letting her go like she wanted, he only pulled her closer.
"C'monnn, Ellie." He taunted in a singsong voice, "Promise me."
"Okay, okay!" Jayden squealed, Reno automatically letting her go and sending her stumbling forwards, "Yeesh…dya mind if I ask why?"
"Cuz if you showed that cute expression to anyone else they might be tempted to steal you from me, yo." Reno replied easily, walking next to her and taking her hand again, "And then I might be tempted to get violent."
"…you're hopeless." Jayden said exasperatedly, walking in stride with him. Muttering under her breath, she murmured, "How on earth did I fall for you again?"
"Must be my looks." Reno replied, making his fiancé yelp in surprise.
"Damn your muscle bound ears." She mumbled.
"Alright, so you want me to do what now?" the woman asked throatily, leaning casually against the brick wall of an alleyway, staring up with a look of disinterest at the quartet of silver haired men.
"We want you to call this number leave a message on it." Sephiroth said simply, forcing a paper into the woman's hand, "Just read this script in the most seductive way possible and you'll get your money."
"You'll seriously pay me two hundred bucks just for saying this crap?" the hooker mutter, eyeing the paper doubtfully and taking another drag of her cigarette, "Sounds too good to be true if ya ask me."
"Well, if you need proof, we can give you half your money now, half when you've done what we asked." Yazoo said, reaching into his back pocket and extracting a large wad of bills, counting out twenty fives and handing them over to the prostitute.
"…I know it's not my business to know, but you guys have got me really curious." The hooker said, shoving the bills down the front of her bra, "What's all this about? I've only skimmed this, but from the look of it, you're trying to break someone up."
"You're smarter than you look." Loz said with an appreciative nod, "That's correct. We're trying to stop our sister from marrying a loose, drunken idiot. Holy only knows why she loves that loser, but she does."
"I see." The prostitute murmured, finishing her cigarette and putting it out on the end of her tongue, "So you're doing this cause you feel its in her best interests huh?"
"We didn't pay you to ask questions." Kadaj ground out impatiently, tapping his foot and shifting his weight uncomfortably, "Just make the call. I'd like to get this foolishness over with as quickly as possible."
"Eh, you're the boss." The hooker shrugged, rifling through her battered purse in search of her cell phone and finally retrieving it, "But I have to tell ya…I really don't think this'll work."
"Just do it." Sephiroth said coolly, eyes flashing intimidatingly, making the lady of the evening shiver as a thrill of fear shot up her spine.
With that she dialed the number scribbled at the top of the paper and waited for the machine to pick up.
-Hey! You know what to do!-
-Beeeeeep-
"I can't believe we couldn't find anythin', yo." Reno groaned as he stumbled into the apartment and flopped on the sofa.
"Well if someone wouldn't be so picky..." Jayden snorted, rolling her eyes, "Honestly, you're worse than my mom."
"I resent that." Reno retorted, jabbing the air with his finger, "I just want this to be special for us. It's a one-time deal with me. I swore that if I got married, I'd do it once."
"Hahaha!" Jayden laughed as she pulled two sodas from the fridge, "You…are soooo weird." She crossed the room quietly and brought the ice-cold can down on Reno's neck making him screech and sit bolt upright.
"Not cool, Ellie. Definitely not cool, yo." Reno scowled as Jayden hopped onto the sofa now that there was space, howling with laughter.
"What are you talking about? Of course it's cool!" she hooted, opening her can and tossing her fiancé's into his lap.
"Remind me why we're getting married again?" Reno muttered, lifting the can off his lap and popping the tab.
"Hmm…because it was convenient for both of us and I was tired of you trying to jump my bones whenever my back was turned?" Jayden replied, flipping on the T.V.
"Oh yeah, now I remember, yo." Reno smirked, coming off his annoyance and settling down comfortably on the couch, and gluing his eyes on the screen, draping his arm over Jayden's shoulder.
Jayden switched herself around so that she rested against Reno's chest, eyes trained on the T.V…but something just off to the side kept tugging at her vision. Something small and blinking.
"Oh! We have a message." Jayden thought to herself, eyes moving from the television to the phone, "But…it's probably the construction site calling Reno in." She glanced at he fiancé, who was fighting to stay awake despite how obvious it was that he wanted to stay awake and watch the show.
"No way in hell am I letting them call him in. He works too hard as it is. This is his first day off in three months." she scowled, rising off the couch. In four strides she had reached the phone and had pressed the ERASE ALL MESSAGES button.
"Somethin' wrong, babe?" Reno asked drowsily, well on his way to falling asleep as Jayden returned to the couch.
"Nothing at all. Just killing a spider." She said with a smile, curling up next to him.
(A/N: With Sephiroth's attempt a failure, Yazoo steps up to bat. Meanwhile, Jayden and Reno continue their search for plausible wedding locals. And what's this? Kyle and HIS fiancé are flying in to help? R&R!)
