Disclaimer: I do not own A Midsummer Night's Dream or the Teen Titans, but the works of William Shakespeare are at this point part of the public domain. Either way, please don't sue, you really wouldn't get that much.
Reviewers:
Errant Wrath: Sorry this took so long, hope you like it!
nbkcbnskn: Don't worry, you're not the only one who has trouble understanding the Bard.
Princesse Nav: Well thank you, I hope this feeds your sadistic tendencies.
Too young for an account: Hooray, I'm so glad! (Wow, weird but cool.) Raven is Hermia mainly as a way to make her acknowledge the feelings I think she has for Beast Boy, and thank you, I tried hard to keep her from being Sue-ish, I'm glad it paid off. As for other characters, maybe in my next story I'll do just that.
When I say 'Lysander' I mean Beast Boy as Lysander.
I sat for a while in the gardens, trying to work out why I'd been cast as Hermia. She was a young girl in love, I was a half demon superhero who couldn't love. And why was Beast Boy cast as Lysander? Was the magic that had brought us here trying to tell me something? Should I give him a chance? Maybe his feelings were genuine after all, and I was the one being stubborn.
I let my thoughts wander along the problem, but was no closer to any answers when my 'father' returned. He didn't say a word, just gestured for me to follow him. I rose and did so, mentally memorising the lay of the land. It seemed I had a choice either to follow the plot, which meant playing the lovesick ingenue and running off with Beast Boy, or to try and change it. The first option would be more predictable but the second choice would let me avoid all the drama.
When we arrived at 'home' Egeus left me to myself and I went to a room I somehow knew to be mine. My best guess was that the real Hermia was still there, guiding me. It felt strange, but I was grateful for it. As well as I knew the plot, there were certain things the play didn't reveal, and those things Hermia could tell me.
I packed a small bag with a few changes of clothes and what jewellery I had. I knew that rich aunt or no, Beast Boy and I were likely to need money on our trip. I hid it under the bed, then I left the room, looking for a library. When I found it I curled up with a book to pass the time.
Several hours later a knock came at the door and a servant announced dinner. I closed the book and stood, stretching then going to the dining room. I half expected Egeus to be there, but the room was empty and I ate alone.
I retrieved my book from the library and returned to my room, eventually falling asleep with the book still open.
The next morning I woke to a knock at the door and the announcement that breakfast was ready. I changed and went downstairs, not surprised this time that my 'father' wasn't there. After eating I went back to my room and got my book before heading out to the garden.
I read until lunch, then returned the book to the library. I knew that whether I played it my way or Shakespeare's I'd need my energy so I headed back to my room and closed the curtains before laying down and closing my eyes.
I woke several hours later to a knock at the door. The sun was beginning to set and I moved my bag onto the balcony before answering. "Come in," I called and a servant entered carrying a tray.
"I've brought you supper. Pray, child, art thou well?" (1) she asked, and I got a motherly feeling from her. This woman had to be Hermia's nurse, but where was Hermia's mother? She hadn't even been mentioned in the play, but that didn't mean anything.
I debated lying but instead told her about 'Lysander' and Demetrius and the ultimatum from Theseus. The only part I left out was the plan to elope. I ate the food on the tray, waiting for her to say something, hoping it would be advice I could use. When she spoke, I wasn't sure it was entirely helpful. "My best advice, Miss Hermia, be this: to listen to thy heart and find thy bliss," (2) she said, smiling kindly and rubbing my back.
She took the tray and headed for the door, leaving me to think again. Once it was shut I stood, slipping my feet into sandals and heading onto the balcony. I put the bag over my shoulder, then a himation over everything and climbed down the trellis, running toward the woods. I let Hermia guide me as I came to a decision.
When I saw 'Lysander', I knew what I had to do. I didn't want the drama, but at least I knew how it would play out. If we just left and the plan actually worked, I had no idea what the repercussions would be. And while that was definitely the more interesting option, it might also leave us trapped forever. So I opted instead for a third option, a happy medium of sorts.
'Lysander' planted a kiss on my cheek and took my bag, smiling. I managed to smile back despite knowing how wrong this would go. His free hand gripped mine and we set off into the woods, but within a few hours we were hopelessly lost and I pretended to be tired.
'Lysander' noticed. "Fair love, you faint with wandering in the wood; and to speak troth, I have forgot our way: we'll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good, and tarry for the comfort of the day."
Even though I knew it would only end in drama, I nodded. "Be it so, Lysander: find you out a bed; for I upon this bank will rest my head."
His grin was coy as he set our bags down. "One turf shall serve as pillow for us both; one heart, one bed, two bosoms and one troth."
I sighed and shook my head, but part of me was glad 'Lysander' wasn't completely different from the Beast Boy I knew. "Nay, good Lysander; for my sake, my dear, lie further off yet, do not lie so near."
He smiled and back-pedalled a bit. "O, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence! Love takes the meaning in love's conference. I mean, that my heart unto yours is knit so that but one heart we can make of it; two bosoms interchained with an oath; so then two bosoms and a single troth. Then by your side no bed-room me deny; for lying so, Hermia, I do not lie."
I couldn't help but chuckle, as strange as it seemed he was starting to grow on me. "Lysander riddles very prettily: now much beshrew my manners and my pride, if Hermia meant to say Lysander lied. But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy lie further off; in human modesty, such separation as may well be said becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid, so far be distant; and, good night, sweet friend: thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end!"
He moved his bag a short distance away then kissed my cheek. "Amen, amen, to that fair prayer, say I; and then end life when I end loyalty! Here is my bed: sleep give thee all his rest!" he said as he lay down.
I lay down and shut my eyes, but I had no intention of sleeping. "With half that wish the wisher's eyes be press'd!"
I listened as 'Lysander's breathing evened out, then opened my eyes in time to see the fairy arrive. "Hello Puck," I said, not bothering to speak in either Elizabethan English or iambic pentameter. I must have startled him because he dropped the flower in his hand. I picked it up before he could and shook my head. "You don't want to do that, trust me."
He eyed me, then laughed. "I shall not ask why ye can see me lady, the magic in ye is a siren's song. Th'art of a darker place and different time, displaced by thine own power 'cross the worlds." (3)
I just nodded. "Exactly. He doesn't belong here either, my magic sent us into a book while we were fighting."
He just nodded. "All that is well, yet I have orders still. Give me the flow'r and I'll dispatch them straight." (4)
I pulled the flower out of his reach. "Not on him you won't. You want the blonde guy and he's not here yet."
He looked from 'Lysander' to me then smirked. "I see, ye do not wish to lose his love when thine is still so new within thy breast. And yet ye try so hard to hide away thy feelings where they never would be seen." (5)
"I don't have much choice, where I'm from my emotions and powers are linked."
Puck nodded impatiently. "Is't then your aim to cause good Puck to fail in his most noble duty on this night?" (6)
I laughed softly, shaking my head. "No, I'm trying to help you actually. My friend here isn't the one you're looking for, but hey, if you want to go back to Oberon with a major error on your record, be my guest. My way is much less messy though."
I thought he was going to keep fighting me, but he nodded, reaching for the flower again. I heard footsteps approaching so I gave it to him and lay back down, closing my eyes and pretending to sleep.
I listened as Helena and Demetrius entered the scene and prayed that Puck had left 'Lysander' alone. I stayed still as the two blondes argued, Helena begging Demetrius not to leave her. "Stay, though thou kill me, sweet Demetrius."
I could almost hear him glare as he replied. "I charge thee, hence, and do not haunt me thus."
"O, wilt thou darkling leave me? do not so." she pleaded, and I almost sympathised with Demetrius. Helena had so far proven herself to be jealous and petty, even if she did get a little leeway for being constantly rejected by the man she loved.
"Stay, on thy peril: I alone will go." he replied, then I heard him move off again.
I opened one eye slightly and watched as she moved toward a nearby tree and sat, already complaining again. "O, I am out of breath in this fond chase! The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies; for she hath blessed and attractive eyes. How came her eyes so bright? Not with salt tears: if so, my eyes are oftener wash'd than hers. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; for beasts that meet me run away for fear: therefore no marvel though Demetrius do, as a monster fly my presence thus. What wicked and dissembling glass of mine made me compare with Hermia's sphery eyne?"
I knew what came next and opened my eyes, stretching. I look at Helena, letting surprise cross my face as I pulled some iambic pentameter out of thin air. "Fair Helena, what do you in this wood? 'Tis late, 'tis dark, you should not be abroad." (7)
My distraction worked and she turned her focus to me, looking confused. "And you as well, you both should be away." (8)
I thought fast and came up with a decent response. "Lysander and myself from path did stray. What do you here, alone so in the night?" (9)
Helena shook her head. "Newly alone, Demetrius did take flight. In search of you." (10)
Even though I'd known she'd do it, I pretended to be shocked and upset. "Led you Demetrius here? Freedom so close, yet out of reach I fear!" (11) I must have been too loud because 'Lysander' shifted, waking up, his eyes going to Helena first, then to me. I once again prayed Puck had left him alone as I looked at him. "Lysander, love, I do apologise, do lay back down and close thy weary eyes." (12)
As soon as he began speaking I knew something was wrong. "Call me not 'love', you dark homunculus, I never could love creature such as you. Yon Helena shines brighter than the sun and has a manner far more warm and true." (13)
I realised Puck had drugged him. "You speak not as you think: it cannot be." I said, reverting back to Shakespeare's words, not needing any help from Hermia to sound heartbroken. I was heartbroken. Helena looked at him, frowning.
He sat up, taking her hands in his. "Transparent Helena! Nature shows art, that through thy bosom makes me see thy heart. Where is Demetrius? O, how fit a word is that vile name to perish on my sword!"
Helena shook her head, pulling her hands away and standing. "Do not say so, Lysander; say not so what though he love your Hermia? Lord, what though? Yet Hermia still loves you: then be content."
'Lysander' shook his head, standing up himself. "Content with Hermia! No; I do repent the tedious minutes I with her have spent. Not Hermia but Helena I love: who will not change a raven for a dove? The will of man is by his reason sway'd; and reason says you are the worthier maid. Things growing are not ripe until their season so I, being young, till now ripe not to reason; and touching now the point of human skill, reason becomes the marshal to my will and leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook love's stories written in love's richest book."
With each word out of his mouth my heart sank. Helena just got angry. "Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born? When at your hands did I deserve this scorn? Is't not enough, is't not enough, young man, that I did never, no, nor never can, deserve a sweet look from Demetrius' eye, but you must flout my insufficiency? Good troth, you do me wrong, good sooth, you do, in such disdainful manner me to woo. But fare you well: perforce I must confess I thought you lord of more true gentleness. O, that a lady, of one man refused. Should of another therefore be abused!" She stormed off, and 'Lysander' grabbed his bag and followed.
I began crying, and curled into a ball, shoulders shaking. I couldn't believe love hurt this badly. Maybe I was better off alone if this was what opening yourself up to love got you. I was still crying when I heard footsteps a few minutes later. I wiped my eyes, looking up and seeing Demetrius. I picked up my bag and began walking away, not wanting to deal with him right now.
"Leave me, Demetrius, tis not now the time to add thy feelings to the burden of mine," (14) I said, and I could hear the pain in my voice.
Demetrius just followed. "O, why rebuke you him that loves you so? Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe."
I turned and narrowed my eyes at him, I couldn't do this right now. I was too busy fighting with myself to fight with him. "Begone, away, I pray you, haunt me not! I am already wounded by a shot so true and straight, loos'd from betrayal's bow, that naught but my black hatred now shall grow." (15) I didn't wait for a reply before storming off, my heart and my mind at war. I let myself wander for a while, not bothering to wipe the tears that fell.
I lost track of time and eventually came upon the others again, just in time to see 'Lysander' and Demetrius fighting over a still angry Helena. She saw me and pointed, glaring at me. "Lo, she is one of this confederacy! Now I perceive they have conjoin'd all three to fashion this false sport, in spite of me. Injurious Hermia! most ungrateful maid! Have you conspired, have you with these contrived to bait me with this foul derision? Is all the counsel that we two have shared, the sisters' vows, the hours that we have spent, when we have chid the hasty-footed time for parting us,-O, is it all forgot? All school-days' friendship, childhood innocence? We, Hermia, like two artificial gods, have with our needles created both one flower, both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion, both warbling of one song, both in one key, as if our hands, our sides, voices and minds, had been incorporate. So we grow together, like to a double cherry, seeming parted, but yet an union in partition; two lovely berries moulded on one stem; so, with two seeming bodies, but one heart; two of the first, like coats in heraldry, due but to one and crowned with one crest. And will you rent our ancient love asunder, to join with men in scorning your poor friend? It is not friendly, 'tis not maidenly: our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, though I alone do feel the injury."
I shook my head, if she wanted to attack me then I'd gladly play the victim. "I am amazed at your passionate words. I scorn you not: it seems that you scorn me."
She fumed. "Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn, to follow me and praise my eyes and face? And made your other love, Demetrius, who even but now did spurn me with his foot, to call me goddess, nymph, divine and rare, precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks he this to her he hates? and wherefore doth Lysander deny your love, so rich within his soul, and tender me, forsooth, affection, but by your setting on, by your consent? What thought I be not so in grace as you, so hung upon with love, so fortunate, but miserable most, to love unloved? This you should pity rather than despise."
I was starting to enjoy the role I'd been thrown into and let the next line roll off my lips despite knowing it was a lie. "I understand not what you mean by this."
Helena was starting to get red now. "Ay, do, persever, counterfeit sad looks, make mouths upon me when I turn my back; wink each at other; hold the sweet jest up: this sport, well carried, shall be chronicled. If you have any pity, grace, or manners, you would not make me such an argument. But fare ye well: 'tis partly my own fault; which death or absence soon shall remedy." She turned to go.
'Lysander' reached out to stop her. "Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse: my love, my life my soul, fair Helena!"
Helena threw her hands up in there air, she clearly wasn't enjoying this anymore than I was. "O excellent!"
I looked at 'Lysander', wanting to try and lessen the damage I'd done by going off script.
"Sweet, do not scorn her so." I pleaded.
Demetrius nodded. "If she cannot entreat, I can compel."
'Lysander' shook his head. "Thou canst compel no more than she entreat: thy threats have no more strength than her weak prayers. Helen, I love thee; by my life, I do: I swear by that which I will lose for thee, to prove him false that says I love thee not."
Demetrius turned to Helena. "I say I love thee more than he can do."
'Lysander' narrowed his eyes. "If thou say so, withdraw, and prove it too."
Demetrius let his hand go to his sword. "Quick, come!"
I paled, not wanting them to duel anymore than the real Hermia did. "Lysander, whereto tends all this?" I asked, hoping to distract him, one hand reaching out toward him.
'Lysander' pushed my hand aside. "Away, you Ethiope!"
Demetrius smirked, teasing his adversary. "No, no; he will seem to break loose; take on as you would follow, but yet come not: you are a tame man, go!"
'Lysander' glared at me, pushing me away. "Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! vile thing, let loose, or I will shake thee from me like a serpent!"
I was once again crying as I spoke. "Why are you grown so rude? what change is this? Sweet love,-"
He cut me off. "Thy love! out, tawny Tartar, out! Out, loathed medicine! hated potion, hence!"
I heard my voice breaking and hated what I had let myself feel. "Do you not jest?"
Helena sneered, her tone venomous as she answered me. "Yes, sooth; and so do you."
'Lysander' looked at his rival. "Demetrius, I will keep my word with thee."
Demetrius shook his head. "I would I had your bond, for I perceive a weak bond holds you: I'll not trust your word."
"What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead? Although I hate her, I'll not harm her so." he said, and I felt a tiny bit of hope.
I turned to him, sticking to the script partly to minimise the damage my ad-libbing seemed to create and partly because the words fit my feelings. "What, can you do me greater harm than hate? Hate me! wherefore? O me! what news, my love! Am not I Hermia? are not you Lysander? I am as fair now as I was erewhile. Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me: why, then you left me-O, the gods forbid!-in earnest, shall I say?"
'Lysander' nodded. "Ay, by my life; and never did desire to see thee more. Therefore be out of hope, of question, of doubt; be certain, nothing truer; 'tis no jest that I do hate thee and love Helena."
I looked at Helena, but while the real Hermia directed her pain and anger at her friend, mine was directed at a certain fairy. "O me! you juggler! you canker-blossom! You thief of love! what, have you come by night and stolen my love's heart from him?"
Helena glared at me. "Fine, i'faith! Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear impatient answers from my gentle tongue? Fie, fie! you counterfeit, you puppet, you!"
I shook my head, crying again. "Puppet? why so? ay, that way goes the game. Now I perceive that she hath made compare between our statures; she hath urged her height; and with her personage, her tall personage, her height, forsooth, she hath prevail'd with him. And are you grown so high in his esteem; because I am so dwarfish and so low? How low am I, thou painted maypole? speak; how low am I? I am not yet so low but that my nails can reach unto thine eyes."
She leaned back, arms going up in front of her. "I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen, let her not hurt me: I was never curst; I have no gift at all in shrewishness; I am a right maid for my cowardice: let her not strike me. You perhaps may think, because she is something lower than myself, that I can match her."
I'd never really considered myself short, but I let myself get mad over the height joke. "Lower! hark, again."
Helena latched onto the distress ball and ran with it. "Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me. I evermore did love you, Hermia, did ever keep your counsels, never wrong'd you; save that, in love unto Demetrius, I told him of your stealth unto this wood. He follow'd you; for love I follow'd him; but he hath chid me hence and threaten'd me to strike me, spurn me, nay, to kill me too: and now, so you will let me quiet go, to Athens will I bear my folly back and follow you no further: let me go: you see how simple and how fond I am."
I felt a sneer forming and did my best to hide it. "Why, get you gone: who is't that hinders you?"
Helena pouted. "A foolish heart, that I leave here behind."
I narrowed my eyes slightly. "What, with Lysander?"
Helena shook her head. "With Demetrius."
'Lysander' stepped between us, his back to me. "Be not afraid; she shall not harm thee, Helena."
Demetrius nodded, sneering at his opponent and shifting toward Helena. "No, sir, she shall not, though you take her part."
Helena looked at me between her protectors' shoulders. "O, when she's angry, she is keen and shrewd! She was a vixen when she went to school; and though she be but little, she is fierce."
I glared at her, my hands fisting, already moving toward her. "'Little' again! nothing but 'low' and 'little'! Why will you suffer her to flout me thus? Let me come to her."
"Get you gone, you dwarf; you minimus, of hindering knot-grass made; you bead, you acorn." 'Lysander' turned and grabbed me, and despite his words his grip was gentle and I was hopeful that I'd make it through this mostly intact.
Demetrius laughed, sneer deepening. "You are too officious in her behalf that scorns your services. Let her alone: speak not of Helena; take not her part; for, if thou dost intend never so little show of love to her, thou shalt aby it."
'Lysander' shook his head, releasing me and turning to Demetrius. "Now she holds me not; now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right, of thine or mine, is most in Helena."
Demetrius shook his head, clearly not trusting 'Lysander'. "Follow! nay, I'll go with thee, cheek by jole."
The men left and I looked at Helena, still wanting to hurt her. "You, mistress, all this coil is 'long of you: nay, go not back."
Helena shook her head at me and turned to go. "I will not trust you, I, nor longer stay in your curst company. Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray, my legs are longer though, to run away."
With that parting jab she left, leaving me alone in the woods once more. I began to wander again, tears falling again."I am amazed, and know not what to say."
I had no idea how long I'd walked, but after a while I began to get tired. I let my feet take me back to the others, knowing it was almost over. When I saw Puck I stopped and listened. "Yet but three? Come one more; two of both kinds make up four." He looked around and saw me, then smiled. "Here she comes, curst and sad: Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make poor females mad."
I glared, coming over. "Cupid nothing, you did all this, even after I warned you. You could have left him alone, you could have-" I trailed off, choking up. "Why Puck? Why did you do it?"
The fairy shrugged. "I did have orders and did follow them. 'Tis not for you to deny Puck his fun." (16)
"Fun? You messed with someone you should have left alone, hurt two people who didn't deserve it, and you think that's fun?! You are sick and twisted beyond the telling." Even as my tears fell I heard the anger in my own voice. "I should find Oberon and tell him what happened, I know you didn't tell him the truth."
Puck narrowed hie eyes. "You shall give no such message to my king. Already knows he that mistake was made." (17) He held up the flower. "You see now I am come to set to right the error I have made this summer night." (18)
"Fine, fix this, I'm too tired to argue with you anymore." I turned away and lay down, listening for Puck apply the juice.
Puck actually listened. "On the ground sleep sound; I'll apply to your eye, gentle lover, remedy. When thou wak'st, thou tak'st true delight in the sight of thy former lady's eye; and the country proverb known,that every man should take his own,in the waking shall be shown: Jack shall have Jill; naught shall so ill; the man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well."
I let myself sleep, knowing that Beast Boy and I would be home soon. I still had no idea what I was going to do once we got back, but at least now I knew what I wanted, even if it turned out to be impossible.
The next thing I heard was the sound of a horn. I bolted up, realising that I was still in the play. I dropped to my knees, looked at Theseus, Hippolyta, and Egeus and braced myself.
Theseus smiled. "Good morrow, friends. Saint Valentine is past: begin these wood-birds but to couple now?"
'Lysander', also on his knees along with Helena and Demetrius, bit his lip. "Pardon, my lord."
Theseus motioned with his hand, smile still in place. "I pray you all, stand up. I know you two are rival enemies: how comes this gentle concord in the world, that hatred is so far from jealousy, to sleep by hate, and fear no enmity?"
'Lysander' stood, the rest of us doing the same, and tried to explain. "My lord, I shall reply amazedly, half sleep, half waking: but as yet, I swear, I cannot truly say how I came here; but, as I think,-for truly would I speak, and now do I bethink me, so it is,- I came with Hermia hither: our intent was to be gone from Athens, where we might, without the peril of the Athenian law."
Egeus' hand fisted and he turned to the duke. "Enough, enough, my lord; you have enough: I beg the law, the law, upon his head. They would have stolen away; they would, Demetrius, thereby to have defeated you and me, you of your wife and me of my consent, of my consent that she should be your wife."
Demetrius shook his head. "My lord, fair Helen told me of their stealth, of this their purpose hither to this wood; and I in fury hither follow'd them, fair Helena in fancy following me. But, my good lord, I wot not by what power,- but by some power it is,-my love to Hermia, melted as the snow, seems to me now as the remembrance of an idle gaud which in my childhood I did dote upon; and all the faith, the virtue of my heart, the object and the pleasure of mine eye, is only Helena. To her, my lord, was I betroth'd ere I saw Hermia: but, like in sickness, did I loathe this food; but, as in health, come to my natural taste, now I do wish it, love it, long for it, and will for evermore be true to it."
Theseus grinned, apparently happy with this solution. "Fair lovers, you are fortunately met: of this discourse we more will hear anon. Egeus, I will overbear your will; for in the temple by and by with us these couples shall eternally be knit: and, for the morning now is something worn, our purposed hunting shall be set aside. Away with us to Athens; three and three, we'll hold a feast in great solemnity. Come, Hippolyta." He turned and left with his party and I looked at the others.
Demetrius shook his head again. "These things seem small and undistinguishable, like far-off mountains turned into clouds."
I hoped this would be the last scene. "Methinks I see these things with parted eye, when every thing seems double."
Helena nodded. "So methinks: and I have found Demetrius like a jewel, mine own, and not mine own."
Demetrius pinched himself. "Are you sure that we are awake? It seems to me that yet we sleep, we dream. Do not you think the duke was here, and bid us follow him?"
I nodded my head. "Yea; and my father."
"And Hippolyta." Helena chimed in.
'Lysander' smiled. "And he did bid us follow to the temple."
This seemed to satisfy Demetrius. "Why, then, we are awake: let's follow him and by the way let us recount our dreams."
I gave up control to a very happy Hermia and watched as our group began walking. I was glad when everything went black and I felt my power pulling me back.
I opened my eyes when I felt the pull fade and immediately closed them again, mentally chanting my mantra. When I opened them again I kept up the chant, my position making me very uncomfortable. I was laying on the floor in the main room, which wouldn't have been so bad if Beast Boy hadn't been laying on top of me, his face mere inches from mine. I squirmed, feeling something hard against my thigh, and was about to ask him to let me up when I felt his hands on my hips. I went still, tensing when I heard his voice against my ear. "Stay still Rae, you're making me harder."
I went red and an overhead light exploded, and with my luck so far I knew it would attract the attention of the other Titans. The doors opened a moment later to reveal all three of our friends, ready for battle. Cyborg was the first to relax, a big smirk coming to his face. "It's about damn time, but come on guys, get a room. One we don't all use."
Robin turned away, clearing his throat. "Welcome back guys. We were just working on a way to retrieve you."
Starfire nodded, smiling wide. "I am so pleased that the two of you have decided to become one!"
I bit my lip and focused on controlling my powers. When I had enough focus I reverted to my soul self and vanished through the floor. I rematerialised in my room, sat cross-legged on the bed, and began meditating.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the day, not answering when first Cyborg, then Starfire, Robin, and Beast Boy knocked. When I opened the door later that night, I was surprised to see my book on the floor. I reached down and picked it up, turning to go when movement caught my eye.
I used my powers to shelve the book, checking the hallway. When I saw nothing I headed for the kitchen. As I set the water on to boil and filled my tea ball I fought with myself. What I wanted, what Beast Boy and I both wanted, was impossible, but that didn't make me want it any less.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear him until he was right behind me. "Raven, we need to talk about this."
I gasped and whirled around, heart thudding my my chest. "Beast Boy, you scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry, I didn't meant to. But we do need to talk." The kettle whistled and he got to it first, pouring and fixing my tea. He headed to the couch and sat, setting the mug on the coffee table. When I didn't move he sighed. "Come on Raven, I won't bite."
I gathered my courage and went over, picking up the mug. I opted to let him start.
"I don't know where we went, or what happened to us, or why. But that's not the important thing right now."
"What is the important thing then?" I asked, taking a sip of tea when I heard the quiver in my voice. I blinked, a little surprised at the tea. "This is perfect. How did you know how I take it?"
"I paid attention," he said nonchalantly. "But the important thing is that I still love you. For a while I thought I was in love with someone else, but that didn't last. And I know you have to control your emotions, but you're way better with that than you used to be, and we should at least try."
I closed my eyes, trying to calm down enough to reply. "During our fight, you grabbed my book, and my power sucked us into the story. We were in a Shakespeare play, and a fairy drugged you to love someone else, then he gave you the antidote. And while we were in there I tried to stop him, because I didn't want you to stop loving me. And by the end I was in love with you and hating it because I spent the entire time crying and hurting and begging you to love me again." I realised I was rambling but I couldn't seem to stop. "Then we came back and you were on top of me and I've never felt like that before and I kept fighting with myself because I want this and I want to try but it's impossible and-"
Before I could continue he'd leaned in and cut me off with a kiss, his hand at the back of my head. I was so surprised I leaned back, and then he was on top of me again, neither of us noticing the mug as it fell to the floor.
I felt his tongue at my lips and my resistance broke. I parted my lips and returned the kiss, my arm going around his neck. He took that as a cue to wrap his free hand around my waist and pull me close, and I realised he was hard again.
I tried to resist, but my emotions were fighting for control in my head. The battle was between Love, who wanted to tell him we'd try it, but to go slow; Lust, who wanted to just go ahead and take him; and Responsibility, who wanted to tell him we couldn't do any of this because he could get hurt. The others were all out of sight, with the exception of Brave, who was cheering for Love and telling me to 'put on my big girl pants and try for once'.
I felt his hand move from my head and settle on my bum as the fight ended and Love took over, Brave celebrating behind her. Love broke the kiss, looking up at him. "Beast Boy, we have to stop. I'm willing to try this, but we have to take things slow. I've never done this before."
"It's okay Rae, I'm a virgin too." He kissed me again, shifting to better reach my throat. "We'll go slow, I promise."
"No, I mean, I've never done the relationship thing, let alone had sex. I want to try to do this right."
He pulled back, propping himself up so he could look at me. "Raeā¦"
"I'm more than willing to try, and I promise I'll make an effort, but I don't want to rush into this."
He sighed, then leaned in and kissed me before sitting up. "Okay. Slow." He held out a hand and helped me up. "I guess this needs to be good night then."
"Good night Beast Boy. I'll see you in the morning." Love smiled and kissed him, then headed to my room, giving me back control. I heard the clink of glass in the sink before he headed toward the doors. I headed to bed, Love safely back in her corner, and prayed this would go well.
Well, there's chapter 2, longer than the first and much slaved over. I hope you like it, and please R&R. Critiques are welcome but flames are not.
