1Smarts Ain't Everything That's Important
Chapter 1: A Guide to Taking Care of a Mermaid
Dylan was a young boy of fifteen. He had messy blond hair, and a pair of large, staring eyes that shimmered like emeralds. He wore a white lab coat made of high quality fabric, and his shoes were of the latest style. Normally, he would be out studying the flora (plants, not the woman) and fauna of Forget-Me-Not Valley or taking care of high-voltage equipment for his best friend, Jareth, for music videos. However, today he was sitting on the toilet in his downstairs bathroom.
Leia and Dylan just sort of stared at each other for a while. Leia the mermaid was stuck in Dylan's bathtub, having been seriously injured in a storm only the day before. Dylan had saved Leia, and now he was stuck watching her.
What exactly am I supposed to be watching for? thought Dylan. It's not like she can just up and walk away.
"Ahem," coughed Leia. "Seeing how as we're not in the ocean, I'm guessing you're a human."
Dylan shifted slightly on the toilet. "Yes, that would be the case," he said. "And you would be a mermaid. Am I correct?"
"That's right," Leia replied. She would have lifted her fish tail, but it hurt if she moved too much. "So how long do you think I'll be stuck here?"
"I'm not entirely sure," said Dylan. "I haven't exactly experimented with wound recovery rates. You would be better off asking my mother, she studied medicine."
"Oh," said Leia. She sunk down into the water until only her eyes weren't submerged. She started blowing bubbles in exasperation.
Dylan just continued to sit there. Having caught a mermaid, he would have thought that things would be more exciting. However, his parents had forbidden him from telling anyone about Leia. All he could do now was sit silently and watch.
Leia soon fell asleep, but Dylan stayed. He put on his reading glasses. He pulled out a small notepad and a pen and wrote:
As far as my studies have gone, mermaids don't seem to do well when severely injured. I suppose that they must be a social race, in order to take care of the injured, but I have no evidence of this being the case. Fortunately, from watching the subject's sleeping patterns, it is evident that mermaids do have the ability to breathe underwater.
Dylan closed the book and put it and his glasses back in his coat pocket. He stretched himself out and leaned back, it wasn't long until he fell asleep as well.
A couple hours later, Dylan woke up to the sound of rumbling. "Another storm?" he asked as he sat up.
Leia, who was also awake, blushed. "Um, no," she said, looking down at the water. "I'm kind of hungry."
"Oh," said Dylan. He stood up. "Then I'll get you something."
Dylan walked out of the bathroom. He climbed up the stairs that led to the ground floor. Once surfaced, he made his way to the kitchen.
As Dylan reached the kitchen door, Muffy, his mother, stepped out of it. "Oh, and what are you doing here?" she asked.
"I'm just getting something for Leia to eat," Dylan mumbled as he shuffled past his mother. He looked around the kitchen. Realizing he was hungry himself, he picked up an apple and took a bite out of it. Now, let's see here, he thought. From most accounts that I've heard of, mermaids, being friends with the sea life, are vegetarian. And given that she's a girl, I suppose she'd prefer sweet foods. He opened the fridge and took out several peaches, a bunch of grapes, a couple bananas, a crate of strawberries, and, for good measure, a sweet potato.
Dylan took the food back downstairs and into the kitchen. "Here," he said, handing a peach to Leia.
Leia took the peach and studied it. After a minute, she took a bite. She chewed a couple times, but stopped. Her eyes shrunk.
"Are you okay?" Dylan asked, seeing Leia's expression.
Leia responded by spitting the bite of peach across the bathroom. The peach itself was pitched after it. "What was that!" she exclaimed. "No, don't tell me. It was simply too disgusting. How can anyone eat something that sweet? Don't you have any fish?"
Dylan stared at Leia in confusion. "Fish?" he asked.
"Yes," said Leia. "Fish. Do you not know what fish are?"
"I know what fish are," Dylan replied harshly.
"Then get me some!" demanded Leia. "Not to be mean, but I'm starving!"
"Fine," Dylan snapped. "I'm going. I'm going."
About ten minutes later, Dylan came into the bathroom with his arms full of fish. "Here, take it," he said as he threw one of the fish at Leia.
Leia eagerly started biting into the fish. Dylan continued to hand fish to the mermaid until they were all reduced to bones.
Shortly after Leia had eaten, Muffy came downstairs and into the bathroom. She motioned for Dylan to leave. "I need to change Leia's bandages," she explained.
Dylan walked out of the bathroom, the door slamming behind him. He pulled out his glasses, notepad and pen and wrote:
Subject has proven that the belief that mermaids are vegetarian is false. She exhibits hostile behavior, which could either be from dramatic environment change or her wound. However, I'm beginning to wonder if my parents are having me to watch her as some sort of sick apology for not letting me have a pet when I was younger.
Dylan put his research materials away just as Muffy came out of the bathroom. "Alright, she should be good for the night," she told Dylan. "I changed her bandages and filled the tub with fresh water, so all you have to do is keep and eye on her." With this, she left Dylan and went upstairs.
Realizing what time it was, Dylan went into his bedroom and grabbed a pillow and a blanket. He went into the bathroom, and found that Leia was asleep. Makes sense. I would think that healing from such a vicious wound would take a lot out of you, he thought as he put his bedding on the toilet. He sat down, curled up in the blanket, and fell asleep himself.
Okay, that's the first chapter. Given the pairing, I suppose we all know who wears the pants in this relationship (even though it's physically impossible). Anyways, I'm sorry if Leia seems a little mean, but you have to realize that being pained whenever you move is going to make you grouchy. Also, I did my research for this chapter. I find it hilarious that it's not just that fish is the only food Leia likes, but that she actually HATES any other kind of food in the game.
Anyways, until next time, please review.
