Chapter: 1

Inner Demons

Me: Yo :D

Grimm: ~napping~

Kouki: Oi, wake up!

Grimm: Why should I?

Kouki: ~sweatdrop~ You aren't even sleeping...

Me: It's fine, Kouki. I'll just take him out of this chapter...

Grimm:...Okay.

Me: Bastard -_-|||

(^o^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~(^o^)/

Beams of light shattered the comfortable darkness in my room, causing me to groan and curse. 'Who left the freakin' blinds open?' I mentally questioned. Light marked the beginning of what could be a horrible day; my pessimistic thoughts were already echoing throughout my head. My own voice, laced with with negativity and disdain. It was a subconscious defense mechanism that I naturally had put in place in order to protect myself from various things, such as: disappointment, and criticism; to an extent of course.

"C'mon, get up." I commanded myself, but my body didn't respond. It was a daily struggle and it happened the same way everyday. My alarm would go off at approximately 4:30, I'd groggily get up and snooze it, the alarm would ring in 20 minute intervals until I'd finally open my eyes. Once my eyes were open it'd take me 25 minutes to get up, then I'd shower, that took a full hour. By that time I just wasn't motivated to go to school. Everyone has their own weaknesses and obstacles that they need to overcome, I just had more issues than the average person. "Okay, once more," I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand up. Immediately afterwards I had to hang on to my bed frame. The room was spinning and my vision blurred momentarily. My dizziness was most likely due to my lack of nourishment. I hadn't been eating lately. Yet another bad habit of mine. I just couldn't keep anything down. Plenty of people recommended that I undergo therapy for more reasons than one. I disagreed with them. 'Talking to a therapist about my insecurities, feelings and phobia's is just like acknowledging that something is wrong with me.' That's what I told myself. That was my reasoning for refusing to accept help. Pathetic, right? I sighed deeply as I tried to stand. My legs were shaking but I somehow managed to stay upright without falling. I then stumbled over to my door. My lithe fingers wrapped around the door knob and door opened. In an instant I was greeted by more blinding light and the smell of bacon, eggs and fried rice. I once again stumbled forward, stepping down the spiral staircase that led to the large living room. 'Almost there...' I picked up the pace this time. The smell of various spices and foods filling my nostrils and luring me to the kitchen. Surprised faces met my gaze.

"Yo..." I greeted them tiredly. My mother's face held a look of relief while my fathers just looked a bit surprised.

"Kouki-kun?" Yuki Luccinao, my mother. Her gentle expression matched her small frame. Her bright blue eyes glinted with compassion and worry for me, her white skin as flawless as porcelain, and her long, wavy black hair flowed behind her as she stepped forward gracefully. She embraced me. "It's good to see you," She said, looking as if she was about to cry.

"Breakfast is on the table, feel free to dig in," My father said, looking up from his paper momentarily to greet me. Christian Luccinao; his tanned face was a bit gruff in contrast to my mothers. He was foreign, from Italy. His skin, naturally tanned and his smoldering chocolate brown eyes melted whomever was unlucky enough to be placed under his scrutinizing stare. He was also really tall, at least 6'5. Most people were intimidated by him and he used this to his advantage during business meetings as well as many other aspects of his life.

"Kouki-sama." A servant walked into the kitchen, bowing as she entered. I nodded to her and took a seat at the the dining room table. The spread of food was decent, but I harshly judged just about all things that weren't prepared by my mother or I. We were both seasoned culinary enthusiasts.

"You're going to school today?" My father asked me, his deep voice like gunshots, commanding my full attention.

"Yes," I answered, grabbing some fruit and a sweet smelling pastry as I did so.

"That's good sweetie, but please eat at least a little more than that," I was going to object, but her eyes persuaded me to do otherwise. So I grabbed a few pieces of bacon and a croissant as well. She smiled. "Your skin is so pale. You should take better care of yourself, Kouki." My father nodded in agreement. I thought that was whimsical to say the least, seeing as they hadn't seen me in at least a week.

"Kouki-sama..." A small bottle was set next to me along with a glass o water. I stared at the bottle blankly.

"I refuse." I said with finality.

"You have to take them or you won't get any better..." My mother said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"The way you said that..." I frowned. "It sounds like you think something's wrong with me." My father scoffed.

"You're obviously depressed and it won't get any better unless you take your medicine," I continued staring at the bottle. "You've been taking it consistently for a couple weeks now," It was my turn to scoff.

"Exactly, and nothing's changed."My mother shifted in her chair uncomfortably.

"You've finally decided to grace us with your presence, and you're eating," I stopped mid-bite. "That's something." 'Smart Ass.' I thought, scowling.

"Fine." I conceded before opening the bottle and popping the pill into my mouth. I gulped down the glass of water and stood, grabbing a croissant from my plate. "I'm going to go get ready for school." I said, sighing as I stood and ran back upstairs. I didn't see my mother and father smiling as I did that though, nor did I hear my mother say, "He's making progress."

(^o^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~(^o^)/

'I hate it when they're right.' I thought in slight irritation as I walked down the path leading to my school. I really was in a better mood shortly after taking my medication. I just don't like being proven wrong. I never have, and I never will.

"Kouki!" I heard a familiar voice call my my name. I glanced back, a smile adorning my face.

"Yo," I greeted Keigo, connecting my middle and index fingers, then saluting him, a greeting we'd grown accustom to during our child hood. Those times, though they seemed far away to me, were the happier parts of my childhood. I cherished them like a mother does her newborn child.

"This is kinda weird," He said, smiling sheepishly. I tilted my head in a questioning fashion. "It's just been so long since I've seen you. I was beginning to question whether or not you were even alive anymore man!" I'll admit, Keigo's optimistic and upbeat attitude was infectious and I found myself smiling back at him.

"Yeah, maybe I should work on that," He nodded, grinning toothily.

We conversed for a few more minutes as we approached the high school. It was a nice warm spring day and the scent of freshly bloomed cherry blossoms wafted through the air, making it almost impossible for me to harbor anything but positive thoughts. The pink flowers on the ground got caught in a gust of wind. They scattered everywhere, the breeze picking up as well, making my hair billow in the wind. "Pretty," My observation went unnoticed as we approached the front gates of Karakura High School.

"Oi! Kouki!" More familiar voices called to me. The sound could only be described as music to my ears. The most minuscule of things could bring about such a comforting sense of nostalgia, reassuring me that maybe things could return to a sense of normalcy. My own reality, if only a little, seemed less cloudy now. A deep fog within the recesses of my mind lifted, leaving me vulnerable. I wasn't opposed to it though. 'Vulnerability in itself is proof of ones own strength. Allowing ones self to be wounded emotionally may be necessary in order to allow strong bonds to form. The potential heartache may be well worth it in the end.' That's what I told myself. Or maybe, that's what I convinced myself.

Anxious blue-green eyes, now a bit less dull, scanned the room. There were many faces I recognized and many that I didn't. One face in particular caught my attention right away though. The room glowed a hue of white, as I began recalling events of the past. Every joke, every laugh, every smile, every frown; I remembered these specific moments. It was like clockwork, and I was never late. "Kouki?" A small upturn of my lips eventually turned into a bright grin once her voice reached my ears. The one person I was hoping to see appeared before me, and I was lost in her bright gray irises. 'That smile.'

"Hey, Orihime," I couldn't help but feel a tinge of relief. I was happy to see Orihime in good spirits. "How are you?" Her jubilant gaze seemed to falter for a split second before returning to normal. A change in her demeanor was apparent as well. These changes were subtle and would be passed off as insignificant mannerisms to anyone who wasn't familiar with her. However, this wasn't the case for me. "You—" The bell rung, signaling the end to our conversation.

"Good morning class," This would have to wait until later, but I promised myself that it wouldn't be a topic that'd easily be forgotten. What kind of friend would I be if such a thing was left unchecked?

(^o^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~(^o^)/

The gargoyle; what I refer to as my inner demon. As soon as the school day ended I took initiative and approached Orihime. His sharp, ebony, dirt encrusted claws began scratching at my fragile emotional state. It was a horrid feeling, knowing that no matter what I did, he would be there, ready to rip me to shreds with his wretched teeth. His shadow was towering over me and my ankles began to sink into the ominous bog. I felt the negativity yanking at them. It's almost funny; my weakness, my heart wrenching sadness, it's all so easily provoked. Like a moth to the flames, I was flying too close regardless of the looming danger and as always, my wings would be burnt to a crisp, My own ignorance the catalyst to my destruction.
'I... I was supposed to be doing something.' I thought to myself. At that moment I rejoined reality. The hallways were busy as usual and students hustled out the front doors. "Orihime. . ." My voice betrayed me. "Orihime!" I called again, this time with a stronger tone of voice that properly portrayed the facade I was currently working to keep on place. She smiled and stopped, turning around. 'She doesn't need to be involved in my inner turmoil.' I thought. "Walk with me?" I asked, hiding behind a deceiving smile. She nodded, none the wiser of my silent misery.

"Kouki-kun, how was your first day back?" It was a shame that her radiance was unable to clear my eternal darkness, unable to break the curse that was inexplicably cast upon me. I was a flightless bird destined to migrate alone.

"It was great." I lied. Actually, no, that wasn't a lie. Today really had been an amazing day. My friends were very excepting of my return and I had plenty of things to be happy about. So yeah, it was a good day. "I was great!" I said again, nodding firmly. Though in truth, I was only trying to convince myself. I knew that deep down. Despite my futile attempts, I simply couldn't allow myself to lie to her, at least not without feeling a tinge of guilt stab at my already wounded soul. "But, something was bothering me," She tilted her head, a curious expression adorning her face. "You seemed troubled."

"Kurosaki-kun..." That name, I felt a if it was one that I should have remembered. It was on the tip of my tongue, searing with importance. "Ichigo Kurosaki," My eyes widened in realization as images flooded into my mind. I saw a flash of orange hair, tan skin and chocolate brown eyes.

"Ichi..go?" My vision darkened and that same pool reappeared. One of the shadowy figures was now visible. His face was contorted, seething with rage. It enveloped his whole being. "..." A dizzy feel overtook me, images flashing before me. A tall muscular man in white robes was there in a sandy desert. His expression was one of blood lust and cynical insanity. It was a terrifying sight to behold. He slashed through multiple people at a time with sword and claw, dried blood caked beneath his fingernails.
'IS THAT IT?!' He snarled and roared. "..!" I snapped out of it, drenched in sweat. The outside world, whirled and distorted, came into focus as I stood, shakily holding onto to a conveniently placed stop sign.

"Kouki?" I struggled to hold her gaze. "Are you okay?" I hadn't even noticed how close in proximity she was to me. 'Was that a dizzy spell? Maybe a day dream?' I thought to myself. I rubbed my hands together, trying to warm myself. A deep chill was still coursing throughout my body. That man, despite his crazed appearance, seemed lonely. That only subdued the terror I was still feeling. My heart was pounding at such a rapid pace that it was all I could hear. 'Inhale, exhale...' I told myself. My heartbeat slowed.

"I think, I'm just tired." I told her.

"Then you should get some rest. We can talk later." I smiled at that. Her selflessness was like a breath of fresh air to me.

When I got home, I was greeted by silence. The lights were off and everything looked just as pristine as I'd left it. Nothing was moved, nothing was disturbed and everything was neat and tidy. The floors were swept and the ceiling was dusted. Not one dish littered the sink and every door and window was shut and locked up tight. That's how I like things; Perfectionism at its best. My eyes briefly scanned over my kitchen, a slight nostalgic twinkle in them. I remembered the family dinners, the gatherings, the good times and the bad. In truth, I longed for the good old days. The days that I was allowed to be carefree, and the days that I was allowed to see Sora. I think I missed that most of all.
"I just need to sleep," I convinced myself that closing my eyes and shutting myself off from reality was the answer. So, I shut my eyes and a calm feeling overtook me as I was lulled to sleep by my own ignorant self reassurances.

(^o^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~(^o^)/

I was feeling restless, my blood boiling as a adrenaline pumped through my veins. I wanted to kill something, a primal urge that had never completely gone away. It was one of those many things that were out of sight but not out of mind. "This is beyond boring." I grit my teeth a put a fist up to my face, huffing in irritation. I was surrounded by dumbasses. 'Barragan, a pompous, narcissistic, blowhard, that's older than a freaking hill,' He sat next to the first chair in front of the large square meeting table all ten Espada were currently seated at. His eyes wete shut. How anyone could sit there reveling in their own putrid stench is unbeknownst to me. 'Then there's Hallibel, the blond chick seated next to him. Don't hate her, don't like her either. Honestly, numbers 4 and 6 are the only ones that I wish I could choke the life out of; Ulquiorra especially,' My eyes shifted to him. 'That stoic bastard never ceases to piss me off. Whether it be his annoying blank stare or his undeserved cocky attitude. Then, there's Nnoitora.'

"Lord Aizen.." Ulquiorra's monotone voice called. On cue, Aizen walked in.

'This bastard...' I scowled a bit and glared at my fracciones when grins and smirks broke out on their faces. The way he spoke, to us, tried to charm us with his charisma. It was all so damn irritating. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the incarnation of destruction, is not naive. If anything, I saw right through him and his falsehoods. In fact, the only reason I hadn't called his ass out was because—.

"Grimmjow," My bored gaze fell upon him. "What do you think?" I raised an eyebrow. "Were you listening?"

"Sure.." I really didn't feel like humoring him. He knew I wasn't paying any attention to a word he said.

"Are you incapable of showing even the tiniest amount p respect towards authority?" An angry tick popped on my brow.

"Say it a little louder, Cifer," I growled lowly. He turned to me.

"You are, disrespectful trash." That was the last straw, I lunged at him, Pantera drawn, prepared to cut his fucking head off. However. . .

"..." An immense amount of spiritual pressure fell down on me, bringing me to my knees. I was enraged. Aizen publicly humiliated me in front of the other espada. He made me look weak. I hate the weak. Weak things don't belong in this world. So, making me appear weak, that's unforgivable. 'You're going to pay for this, Aizen. That's a promise.'

After the meeting was adjourned, I immediately sonido'd out of the room, not wasting anytime. I couldn't stand to even be in the same room as those bastards. I was seeing red as I seethed. "Fuck!" I slammed my fist into a wall, not caring that the whole thing was now nothing but rubble. A servant would clean it up, so I could care less. "I need to get out of this place. Everything here pisses me off!" I scowled and opened a garganta, not caring where I ended up as I walked through the black portal.

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I was trying really hard to fall asleep, but I just couldn't. My legs were aching and my head was pounding. I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, but nothing worked. It was becoming increasing annoying as the night progressed. Hours passed by, and I was still awake. 'Why can't I fall asleep?' It was as if something was trapping in my reality. I just wanted to escape to a world of my own creation. Whether it be a dream or a nightmare, I didn't care. Anything was better than this. "Maybe.." I picked my phone up off of my nightstand, but before I could even unlock it, it rang.

"Kouki-kun...?" I didn't recognize the voice at first.

"Um, yes..?" I answered cautiously.

"...Be careful, okay?" It hit me in an instant.

"Sora?!" My eyes widened as the phone clicked. I frantically searched through my history for the number. "W-Where is it?!" My thumbs practically murdered the touch screen. But it was to no avail, I couldn't find the number, and soon after it ran out if battery. I stared at the black screen, a tear running down my cheek as I tossed it to the side and buried my face into a pillow, screaming at the top of my lungs until my chest heaved and my throat began to burn. It only took a minute or so for me to run out of tears though, and in that moment I realized... "This is.." My eyes opened. "A dream..." I glanced around the room, noticing that the sun was down. I then turned to the clock mounted on my wall. The time on it read: 7:00 P.M. 'I slept most of the day away.' I stood up, stretching and releasing a jaw popping yawn. I still had plenty of time to do the giant stack of make up work piled on top of my desk. I wasn't expecting to actually get it all done, but I could at least put a dent in it.

"Kouki-Sama," A servant called from the intercom. I sighed but walked up to it and responded anyway. "Dinner is ready," She said.

"Bring a plate up to me please."

"Hai." She left immediately, leaving me in silence. So I took that opportunity to walk over to the large stack of papers and took a seat at my desk. I then grabbed one off the top of the stack and got to work. It took a little while but I eventually got the first assignment done, and I was already exasperated. After all, make up work is pretty damn tedious. That's what I get for missing so much school though. I was so focused, I didn't even notice the steaming plate of food next to the stack. "...?" I stared at it. Something felt, or rather 'smelled' a little off about it. Maybe it was the pungent purple stink lines rising from the meat. Or the fact that it was smothered in red bean paste. Either way, I needed to eat so I took a bite. However, as soon as I took the first bite, I wanted to barf.
"!" Only one person could mix up such a disturbing concoction. As I thought that, I slowly walked down the stairs.

"Kouki-kun!" I sighed as she rushed into my arms.

"Why are you here?" I quickly rephrased what I said after realizing that it came out rather bitchy. "Not that I'm unhappy to see you..." She smiled broadly.

"I made a little too much food, so I decided to bring some over!" I laughed nervously.

"Have either of you eaten this yet?" The bubbling pinkish-purple food sat in front of both my parents. Steaming and untouched.

"No, we actually ate right before Orihime brought this over." My mother said. I nodded gratefully. 'No need to call 911...' She turned to me, an expectant look on her face.

"Why don't you eat some, Kouki-kun?" I gulped.

"I, uh, see.." My mother sent me a sorrowful look. "Sure, Orihime, I'll eat some." She grinned broadly.

(^o^)/~~~~~~~~~~~~(^o^)/

"I hate him." I mumbled aloud for what must have been the thousandth time. I was still beyond pissed at everything. That's why I needed to get out of there. I wanted to fucking slaughter every little thing that moved. Whether it be a hollow or an arrancar. They were all weak and they all needed to die. That simple. I tried to block out everything that was making me angry. That meant isolated myself from everything and everyone.
"Fucking idiot." Ulquiorra was always acting so damn superior. Like he thinks he's better than everyone. I glared at the blackness surrounding me and clenched my fists. "Okay, that's it. I'm done!" I tossed my hands in the air and sighed with a mixture of exasperation and pure irritation. That's when it happened. "..!" I slipped off the already shaky path of rieatsu I was walking along, falling into the blackness. A light shined in the distance as I fell. Originally, I planned on going back to Hueco Mundo after I calmed down, but now... "Always something." I complained. Little did I know, this mistake what change my life, forever.

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Authors Note: I know I said I'd be updating weekly... Yeah... Shit happens xD I really am going to be updating weekly now though. Opposites Attract and Black Ice are currently being revised since... Well... Read it and you'll see why.

Me: Yaaayyyy... ~yawns~

Kouki: You finally put out the first chapter, eh?

Me: Yup :D

Kouki: I thought it was mediocre T_T

Me: Take your negativity somewhere else, asshole.

Kouki: ~shrugs~ Anyway, where's Grimm?

Me: Somewhere unexpected :)

Kouki:...okay?

Me: But yeah guys, if you enjoyed it leave a review and/or a favorite or follow. It makes my day :D

Kouki: It really does make his day.

Lyrical Inspiration: Crooked By G-Dragon

Next Chapter Title
Grimmjow's Frustration: Where the Fuck Am I?!