Disclaimer -- I don't own anything.
--
All I see are eyes staring at me.
No matter how long you stare at me, I am not going to do a trick.
I am not a dog.
I am a human being. A smart being. A lazy being.
Uhh. This is troublesome.
Just like everything else in this world.
Why in the world were group projects invented?
I can easily do this by myself.
"So Shikamaru, what do you think we should do?" One of the members in my group asked.
How should I know?
You have to research first. You can't find something immediately.
You'd think that when people are in University, they'd be smart and use their head.
But no.
They have to use their mouths and ask people.
"We have to research first," I told all of my group members, five of them in total, "let's keep our options open, we'll pick a topic tomorrow."
"So... what do we research?" One asked.
What incompetence!
Are these people in University? Think, think, think.
"Troublesome, research whatever you think will make good money," I ordered them.
Seriously, what would people do without us geniuses?
Absolutely nothing, that's what.
Sheesh, every person on earth has a brain.
I just make more use of it.
Unlike some people. Take my group members as an example.
Thank goodness class is over.
--
I walked in my apartment, and I noticed something on the floor. They were envelopes. I slowly looked through each one.
Bills.
Bills.
Bills.
I already have a part-time job, but I don't think that could pay for all of this.
Gosh, how am I going to get the money to pay for these?
Uhh, troublesome.
The phone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey Shikamaru, my loving son--" It was my dad. Who else would he call when he was partially drunk? For some reason every time he was drunk he could only remember my number.
"What is it?" I asked, "What do you want this time?"
"Oh no, I'm here to help you," He told me.
How can my father help me?
He couldn't even help me with my homework in grade-school.
--
"Dad, can you help me draw a tree?" A younger version of me asked.
"I didn't learn that in school," He answered me.
--
"Dad, can you help me study?" Another younger version of me asked.
"I didn't learn that in school," He told me again.
And that is how I became a genius.
By doing things myself.
--
"Okay dad," I'll play his game, "what are you going to help me with."
"Your money problem," Wow, who knew he could think when he was drunk.
"And how are you going to help me with that?" I really don't know where this is going.
"Y'see, I have this friend," He slurred, "his daughter is currently failing some of her classes, and needs help."
Tutoring, huh?
"How much is he paying me?" I asked him.
"I don't know," He answered, "you should call him and confirm the details. His number is 555-6453."
I wrote the number down, "Alright. I got it."
Though I was still curious, how did he know I was having a money crisis?
"Dad, answer me." I said. "How did you know I was having financial problems?"
"Father's intuition." He said bluntly.
I waited. Does he really think I was going to fall for that?
"The truth please," Like I'm going to believe that.
"Alright, you got me," He laughed a little, "Your mom ordered me to call you."
"Thank you," Okay, time for me to go. "Bye."
"Wait!" He stopped me, "Don't you want to talk to your loving father?"
Haha, that's funny.
"No," I hung up.
I picked up the phone again and called the number my father told me to call. Surprisingly, he gave me the right one. I really thought he would've forgotten a number and replaced it with another one.
"Hello?" The voice on the other line asked.
"Hi, this is Nara Shikamaru," I told him in my 'professional' voice.
"Oh, you're Shikato's son," He laughed. "You sound nothing like him."
Aren't I glad for that?
"Yes, I'm here to talk about tutoring your daughter," I really need this money.
"Oh, yeah!" He said. It seems as if he already forgot the reason why I called. "You got the job."
Just like that?
That was the easiest job interview I've ever done.
"You're probably wondering why I accepted you so easily," He said casually.
You think?
"It's because I already know how smart you are," He explained, "And yes, I also know you're lazy."
If he knew I was lazy, why'd he hire me?
"I hired you because in a way, my daughter is probably as lazy as you with school work," He explained further, "I thought you could explain things to her in a so-called 'lazy way'."
A lazy-way? What the heck is that?
"I know what you're thinking, what 'lazy way', right?" He questioned me. "Well, I think you can explain things to my daughter in a way she could understand. For example, an easier way to teach multiplication or whatever."
She doesn't know multiplication? How dumb is she?
"She knows multiplication, though." He told me, "I'm just giving you an example."
Oh. That's good.
For a second I thought I was going to teach a teenage girl basic math.
That would be troublesome.
"Alright, I have to go now," He said and he hung up after he gave me the directions to where they lived, and when to get there.
I put down the phone.
That was the easiest job interview I've ever had.
I didn't even need to talk.
--
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