"We're splitting up."
Those three words kept rushing through my brain. Splitting up. It was really happening, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.
Thinking about it, there shouldn't be an element of surprise the news; they've been fighting for months now. It's been a non-stop battle; everyday as soon as my dad's home they throw comments to one another behind closed doors. For the most part, it seemed like stress from money was getting too much for either to handle but, it soon came apparent that wasn't the case. Anything would set them off.

I say I shouldn't be surprised but, I always thought there would be something to stop them from going their separate ways. You'd think having two kids would be a good enough reason to fix things back to the way they used to be but, turns out life doesn't work that way.

I shouldn't be surprised; and yet, I'm sitting here with warm tears streaming down my face and a confused little brother trying grasp what's going on around him. I wish I could make everything better; to get this nightmare out of my head and find a way to tell Kasper that this was all fine. Mummy and daddy were only being silly. I wanted to tell myself this but, I knew better.

"Why?" I manage to ask, through the tears and sobs. I knew the answer. I guess, some part of me wants to hear it coming from them; to hear them say they no longer needed one another; to see how they'd react.

Both faces turned to pain. One quick glance to one another; no emotions present just black looks and tear stained cheeks. I felt sick. I didn't want to hear the answer anymore so I ran. In one swift movement I managed to lift myself from the couch and leave the room and head for the door. I could here Kasper shouting in the background, telling me to come back but, I couldn't take it. I had to get away. I didn't know where I was heading. Anywhere would do fine.

Somehow, my heart always manages to lead me to Cory's house. Panting from the running, I stand staring at the house. I can't move; my legs are numb and my chest hurts too much. It's almost like I've hit that wall runners always talk about but, a wall that's stopping me from spilling everything out to that one person I managed to fall in love with. You see, Cory's my boyfriend of 4 years. The most amazing boy I've ever laid eyes on. That boy that makes every girl swoon and stop in their tracks. The boy with the cheeky smile, meaningful eyes and a heart made of gold. I say I've hit that wall stopping me from talking to him, it's not because I find it hard confiding in him, I just don't want to be his burden. That thing bringing him down all the time.

10 minutes have past and I still can't move. I don't really know what brought me here or even why I'm continuing you stand here; I guess it's the hope of Cory coming outside because he knows there's something wrong so he'll wrap his arms around me and hold me tight – keeping me safe from all danger. But, that's not going to happen. He's away. Family holiday to France for a week. What were the chances of him leaving the day before I need him most. I need him, and I can't have him. The tears have started again. My chest's getting tighter and I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I've always stayed strong in times of darkness and yet, I can't seem to hold myself together anymore.


It's been 3 weeks since that day. The day where it honestly felt like the life I knew was beginning to fall apart. I'd like to say I've managed to get over everything and become more used to the fact that this was the way it's going to be now but, I'd be lying if I did. My dad left 2 weeks ago; he managed to find some place in Dundee. He's trying to get me and Kasper to see the bright side of things. That, since living in Dundee he's closer to work and his home team Dundee United – I can't really tell if he means it though.

I've shut myself out for the time being. I haven't spoken to anyone, much. I haven't really been eating and my closet friend is my music. I'm beginning to push everyone away. That hardest part is, I know I'm doing it yet, I'm not bothering enough to figure out a way to pull them all back in again; to surround myself with friends and family so I can feel that little bit normal.

You're probably sitting there, thinking how pathetic I am. A girl of 18 years feeling so upset and lost. I guess, when I was younger I always believed in that happy ending. Sure, I've seen other families fall apart or see the cracks begin to appear but, not for one second did I think it would happen to me. To my family.

You're probably wondering what happened to me on that day; the day where I seemed to stand outside Cory's house, staring and waiting for something to happen. Honestly, I only remember some of it. No, I didn't get high or drink so much all memory of the event was erased from my mind. All I really remember is waking up seeing faces of concern around me. Turns out, Cory and his family didn't really get far before they heard the news of about my family splitting up. Not that his parents didn't know this was expected to happen. His and my parents have been best friends since the start of high school – both our dads lived next to one another when they were 5 and the friendship seemed to stick. But anyway, my mum had called Cate telling her about how everything went down and how I, ran away. Yes, I guess you could call it running away in some aspects but, I didn't go far so, I'm still debating that fact. Like I said, I don't really remember anything from that day, just the aftermath; waking up seeing Cory, his family and mine. I'd somehow managed to find my way into his house – I'm guessing with the spare key I have, and always carry with me – then his bed.

I know what I done was stupid and, I was reminded of that over and over. Cory was trying to be sweet about it all but, I knew deep down he was thinking like everyone else; why would I just go like that. I guess that's another factor to why I've pushed everyone away – I can't be dealing with all the stress that's occurred because of a decision my parents decided to make.