I wake to cold hands holding mine. Hands I would recognize anywhere, yet never tire of. Coming out of my haze, I think of the way they felt when I held them the first time walking towards the hidden space near the chasm. I think of the innocence of that moment and how things have changed. Just days ago I was wrapped in his arms as he grazed those same hands down my spine. I smile at the memory and open my eyes.

He's sitting next to me, looking down at our intertwined hands. I want to laugh at how pale I am, how my hand practically blends in with the white sheets. But his hands are pale too, and that laugh gets caught in my throat.

His entire body is pale except for the heavy dark circles under his eyes. He hasn't showered and from what I can tell, hasn't changed his clothes either. The fabric is loose around his torso, making it seem as though he's lost twenty pounds. He leans on his knees as though nothing could support him. He's weak and tired and broken.

And I made him this way.

"Hi." I mumble. He lifts his head at the sound of my voice. His dark blue eyes, wide with shock, find mine instantly. For a moment I swear I see tears, but they are gone once he blinks. A hard glare taking their place.

"Hi."

We sit there just staring at each other for what seems like an eternity. He doesn't take his eyes from my face and keeps his hands wrapped around mine. It is if he's afraid if he looks away, if he lets me go, I'll be gone forever.

And this will be the time I won't come back again.

"Tobias, please. I know what you're going to say-"

"No, you don't." He interrupts.

"Yes I do. You're mad at me, I can see it in your eyes. You're giving me your 'I'm so disappointed in you, I can't believe you did that' look. I've seen it before and I don't want to see it again. I'm sorry, okay? But I had to do it, you know I had to. I couldn't just let Caleb-"

"I know." He looks down again, back at our hands.

"What?"

"I know. Tris," he takes a deep breath. "You've always been the one to sacrifice yourself. You've always had this Jesus complex. You've always been too selfless for your own good. I should've known you would take Caleb's place, but I thought… I just thought that since we… since we promised we'd always be with each other…"

He looks up and now the tears in his eyes are real. My heart shatters at the sight of them. My Tobias, the boy who had suffered for years under his father's hands, the boy who hid his emotions from everyone, the boy who had built a wall around him so no one could ever hurt him again, is falling apart. All because of me.

"Tobias…" I trail off. He pulls his hands away from mine and uses them to cover his face.

"Caleb told me that you didn't want to leave me," he mumbles through his hands. "So why did you? Why do you always leave me?"

His walls are crumbling. I'm reminded of the small boy I saw years ago at his mother's pretend funeral. But this time, instead of hiding behind the curtains, he hides behind his hands. So this time, instead of watching from a distance, I reach out and hold his face. It takes a couple seconds, but he takes my hands in his again and leans his cheeks on them.

"I didn't. I'm here, okay. I'm here and I will always be here."

I try to sit up but the pain in my stomach is too much, so I settle for pulling Tobias towards me. He bends down and leans his forehead against mine. I wrap my hands around his neck as he places his hands on my cheeks. We breathe the same air for a while before I speak again.

"I will never leave you."

And that is it. His lips crash onto mine and my fingers find their way up his neck and through his hair. Low moans escape our parted lips as our tongues dance. His hands still hold my face and I sink into them. They are warmer now, I assume because of the heat radiating from my face. I can feel him move from the chair he was sitting in onto my bed and I try to make room for him without causing myself pain or breaking the kiss. We sit together and try to kiss for as long as possible without pulling away to breathe.

All I can think of is fire and how even when flames burn down a forest, they make way for new life to be born from the ashes. And that's what we are doing.

We are being reborn.

In the moments between kisses when we have to catch our breath, he whispers, "I love you." And I tell him, "I love you too."


Author's note: Thank you all so much for your reviews on the first chapter! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you liked this chapter as well :) If you guys having any ideas for me as to where I should take this story, I'd be happy to hear them. I have a couple ideas but I would love your input too. Thanks again :)