He shouldn't have told her, he knows that. He's never going to be able to look at her again. Every interaction they have from now on will be slightly awkward, tainted with the knowledge of Bellamy's undying love. He imagines she pities him, and he can't bear to think about how she'll look at him now that she knows.

He doesn't know how he's going to continue to sit back and watch Clarke and Raven's relationship blossom, knowing he'll never be able to do anything about it. He tries to comfort himself with the thought that Clarke doesn't love him back. In his logic that means that even if she wasn't with Raven, she wouldn't be with him. Except it doesn't really work. He's so sure that if things were different Clarke would love him.

Raven is waiting for him when he gets home from work. He feels his stomach drop and he wonders if Clarke told her about his confession. She's sitting on the couch, the book Bellamy gave Clarke resting on her lap. Bellamy hesitates by the door and Raven looks at him thoughtfully.

"This is Clarke's favourite book," she says, and Bellamy nods. "I didn't know." Bellamy opens his mouth to say something, assure her she's not a bad girlfriend for not knowing, but she keeps talking. "I assume she must have mentioned it, but I didn't remember."

"Raven…" Bellamy starts.

"You weren't just being dramatic, were you?" Raven cuts him off. Bellamy doesn't say anything, though he knows perfectly well what Raven is referring to. "You're in love with her." It isn't a question, but Bellamy tries to deny it anyway.

"No, I'm not-," he tries.

"Bellamy," Raven says knowingly. "I read the note you wrote her. It was pretty easy to figure out. Why do you think I got so drunk last night?" she snorts.

"I'm really sorry," Bellamy whispers. "I tried not to, but it was no use. I'm totally in love with her," he confesses. "But you have nothing to worry about. I'd never do anything to jeopardise our friendship. And anyway, it's completely one-sided," he assures her.

"I'm not so sure," Raven mutters. Bellamy doesn't know how to respond. He's fairly certain Raven is just being insecure. Clarke has never shown anything but polite friendliness to him.

"Do you love her?" Bellamy asks. Raven hesitates.

"I don't know yet," she admits. "But I really like her and I don't want to let her go."

"I know," Bellamy nods.

"Couldn't you have found someone else to be in love with?" Raven jokes, but her laughter is forced.

"At least now you know why I was being such an ass," Bellamy says, finally joining her on the couch. "And… why I have to move out."

"What?" Raven exclaims.

"I can't stay here, Raven. It's unbearable. I really want you to be happy, and I know you want me to be happy and I can't be if I have to see you with Clarke everyday," he tells her.

"I understand," she sighs. "I'm not happy about it but I understand."

"I'm going to move all my stuff to Octavia's as soon as I can, and stay there for a while. Then I thought I might go overseas for a while. I've always wanted to see Australia," he smiles. "By the time I get back I won't even remember who Clarke Griffin is."

"I love you, Bell," Raven says, hugging him. "I'll miss you."

"Love you too," he replies.


Raven, Octavia and Lincoln help him move all his stuff out. There's only a week left of the school term now, so he finishes the year, applying for leave for the following year so he can take his trip to Australia.

The night before his flight leaves he finds himself on Clarke's doorstep. Well, he planned to be there, but now he's wondering if it's such a good idea. She opens the door of her apartment in her pyjamas, her blonde hair in a messy bun and his stomach flips over.

"Bellamy," she says in surprise.

"Uh, hi," he says, managing a smile.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"I've come to say goodbye, actually," he tells her. "I'm leaving for Australia in the morning."

"Australia?" she repeats in confusion. "I don't… maybe you should come inside," she gestures for him to enter but he stays put.

"No, that's okay, this won't take long," he assures her. "I, uh, I just want to say… I'm really sorry. For everything. For hitting on you at the café that day. For making you uncomfortable, for being a complete dick. For falling in love with you," he chuckles sadly.

"Bellamy…" Clarke interjects.

"Please let me finish," he says and she nods. "I want you to know, I think you're amazing, and I think I'll probably love you for the rest of my life. I can't-," he chokes on his words a little, feeling a lump rise in his throat, but he promised himself he wouldn't cry in front of her. "I can't keep being around you knowing I'll never be with you," he recovers. "It's just too painful. So I'm travelling Australia for a year, maybe longer, we'll see. With any luck I'll meet a really hot Aussie girl and fall madly in love with her," he laughs, and Clarke smiles a little. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears and Bellamy has to look away for a moment to keep from crying himself. "Until then… I wish you all the happiness in the world," he finishes with a sharp nod, meeting her eyes again.

"Thank you," she whispers hoarsely.

"So long," Bellamy replies quietly, turning to go. He starts down the hall, not looking back.

"Bellamy, wait!" Clarke calls after him. He turns to see her running down the hall towards him. She only hesitates for a moment before lunging for him, her lips colliding with his. He stifles a moan as he grips onto her, kissing her back. It only lasts a few seconds before she pulls away, but it's easily the best kiss of his life. It's a goodbye kiss, he knows that, and it's the only one they'll ever share. He's pretty sure he'll never forget the feel of her soft lips under his and her body in his arms.

"Maybe next lifetime," Clarke tells him, repeating the words she'd said the first day they met. She turns to go then and he watches her walk back into her apartment and close the door behind her. He lets himself linger for a moment, still under the spell her kiss had put him under, before he shakes his head and walks away.

"Enough," he says to himself. "Enough now."


He doesn't bother to keep in touch with anyone much while he's in Australia. He makes a decision not to use the internet unless completely necessary, and he only calls Octavia every few weeks to check in. He's only been away two months when Octavia informs him nonchalantly that Raven and Clarke broke up. He pretends he doesn't care. He's not an idiot, he knows he can't just fly home and sweep Clarke up in his arms and they'll live happily ever after. She's not Raven's girlfriend anymore, but she's Raven's ex, and dating your best friend's ex is almost as bad as falling for their girlfriend.

He meets some other travellers while he's in Australia and they hit the road together in a couple of vans. They drive for hours most days, stopping to sightsee along the way. Then they spend a week of two in one place, making it up as they go along. Bellamy discovers he loves the Northern Territory in the dry season, Litchfield National Park in particular, and he spends his time floating in crystal clear fresh water pools, the sounds of waterfalls drowning out the noises of the other tourists.

"Clarke would love it here," he catches himself saying out loud one day as he sits on a rock beside a rockpool.

"Who's Clarke?" Roma, one of the girls he's been travelling with, asks him. He's been sleeping with her, but it's nothing serious.

"Just a girl," he sighs.

"A girl you're in love with," Roma says knowingly.

"Yeah," Bellamy agrees, because even thought it's been five months now, he's still thinking about her, wishing she could be here with him.

"Unrequited?" Roma guesses.

"Something like that," Bellamy replies, though he's pretty sure after she did feel something for him when she kissed him. "More of a timing thing I guess."

"Timing's a bitch," Roma sympathises.


He finishes his trip after a year. Roma and her friends had left him a month before, and he's beginning to feel homesick now. He misses his sister and Raven and he really misses Clarke, though he knows he'll probably never see her now that she and Raven aren't together anymore.

Raven, Octavia and Lincoln meet him at the airport, along with a blonde man he's never seen before. Octavia throws her arms around him violently and he laughs as he holds her tight, though he's about to pass out from barely sleeping on the twenty hour flight.

"Welcome back," Lincoln shakes his hand. Raven hugs him too, before introducing him to her new boyfriend.

"This is Wick," she says.

"Nice to meet you," Bellamy says, shaking Wick's hand. "Can we go? I'm exhausted." Octavia and Lincoln lead the way to the car, carrying Bellamy's bags for him, and Raven drops back to speak to him.

"Don't fall in love with this one okay?" she gestures to Wick.

"I'll do my best," Bellamy smiles wryly.


Bellamy has been back about a week, living with Octavia and Lincoln until he can find a place of his own, when he receives an unexpected visitor. He opens Octavia's front door to find a familiar set of sharp blue eyes boring into him. His stomach flips over and he invites her inside, offering her tea or coffee.

"Tea would be great thanks," she tells him.

"So, what brings you here?" Bellamy asks her as he prepares her drink.

"Raven told me you were back," she says.

"Did she?" Bellamy says in surprise.

"Yeah," Clarke nods. "We ended things on good terms you know," she informs him. "We kind of just realised we were better off as friends."

"So you're still friends then?" Bellamy asks nonchalantly, though inside he's desperate to know why she's really here, what she means by telling him all this.

"Yep," Clarke says as Bellamy hands her the tea. "So… how was Australia?"

"Clarke," Bellamy frowns at her, ignoring her question. "You must remember how we left things." Clarke nods. "In my mind that was a pretty final goodbye. So why are you really here?"

"You told me you loved me," Clarke says, as though he needs reminding. "I guess… I wanted to see if you still do." Bellamy stares at her, her expression unreadable. He told her he'd never stop loving her and he meant it. Surely she must know that.

"I meant everything I said," is all he says.

"I loved you too, you know," Clarke confesses, and Bellamy feels his heart skip a beat.

"You did?" is all he can manage to say.

"I do," she corrects him and his breath leaves him. "Maybe we don't have to wait until next lifetime?"

"I feel like I already have," he laughs before pulling her in by her arm and kissing her. Her arms wrap around his neck and this kiss is even better than the first, slow and gentle at first before he loses control completely and devours her lips, and she reciprocates eagerly, her mouth hot and fierce against his. Her fingers glide down his chest and toy with his belt buckle. He has a sudden thought then and pulls away reluctantly.

"Raven…" he starts.

"I'm Clarke," Clarke grins and Bellamy rolls his eyes.

"Is she okay with this?" he asks.

"We have her blessing," Clarke assures him. "She said it's fine. Anything to stop you falling in love with Wick," Clarke laughs.

"That happened one time!" Bellamy grumbles as Clarke continues to laugh at him. He kisses her again to make her shut up.


This is the end. Thanks for reading!