Hi guys,
I was super excited to discover your reviews... big fat & juicy "THANK YOU"! You convinced me that you're interested in my M/N story so I'll keep writing
I was going to post sooner but I was sick. My doc said it was flu but you can't trust doctors. I'm sure I caught the Ebola virus somewhere, and the massive inner bleeding sort of made typing difficult. I'm fine now and hope you'll enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah...
The following few days were hard for Adrian. Unable to concentrate on one single thing, he stood there in the middle of the crime scene, staring at the victim but didn't see anything. No clues, no little tiny details, no jigsaw puzzle pieces he usually picks up and puts together so easily. There was no click- click in his head, everything was a mess. He was a mess.
It was also hard for Natalie. She tried her best to help him as much as she could, but every time she saw him struggle through the day and kind of lost and as if silently arguing with himself, her heart sank a little bit more. She wondered what was he thinking about. Was it about them? What they had shared a couple of days ago? It was just a kiss, but she wondered if it meant for him as much as for her.. well, at least, he obviously didn't hate it. She knew what they needed was to talk. But that also was what she knew would never happen. Maybe in some time, maybe when they both would forget about the way it had made them feel and things would get back to normal... Wait, who was she trying to fool? Adrian Monk never forgot anything in his life and she would never ever be able to forget the rush of blood in her veins and millions of butterflies in her stomach the feel of his lips on hers had given her. That would be just impossible. Why? For an obvious reason. She had fallen in love with him.
Sometimes she found herself lying in her bed at night, just thinking. Was that how he felt when he spoke about trying not to think? That was pretty awful! But she was thinking bout him. Fantasizing about him! She still was able to recall how tender his lips were. And every time she stood near him and somehow caught his clean scent, the combination of his Protex shower cream, his shampoo, talcum powder that made his skin as soft as a baby's bottom, deodorant, his aftershave and also something sweet she couldn't identify but it made her weak in the knees.
And she could smell him now, driving him back home after another long day of unsuccessful investigation. They were sitting in there, drowning in an awkward silence. Neither of them would bring up anything to make them feel uncomfortable but the whole situation itself was uncomfortable enough. As if the inside of Natalie's car was buzzing, pulsating and warming up to the point it made her feel sick.
Adrian wouldn't let her roll down a window, what if a bug flew inside, so she decided to turn on the radio. Most of the channels sucked but anything was better than the screaming silence.
'...Hold me now, touch me now,
I don't want to live without you.
Nothing's gonna change my love for you,
You oughta know by now how much I love you...'
She quickly turned the radio off and stared ahead. Damn! Damn you, Westlife! She could feel Adrian's sight on her, she could feel it burning through her flesh, digging deep into her heart. He must've noticed. He must have known. Of course he did.
"Natalie? Are you alright?"
His quiet voice resonated in the small car space like an explosion. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat.
"Yes! Yeah... totally, Mr. Monk." Giving him a quick qlimpse, she faked a smile.
He slowly nodded. And smiled. And that smile melted her heart. After a short time of hesitating he extended his hand and placed it on top of hers. Just for moment, but even that made Natalie's heart nearly stop. Despite the fact that he had touched her before, either delibrately or not it felt different now. Everything felt different.
The lights turned green and their hands parted. Desperately trying to concentrate on driving, Natalie still could feel the warmth of Adrian's soft palm. Oh god... how would his hands feel on her body? And his lips... his breath on her skin...
Her own thoughts were driving her insane. Couldn't remember if she'd ever wanted someone else so much. She must have, Mitch, but right now, all her mind and soul, all her senses were full of Adrian and him only. She was jolted back to reality when he spoke again.
"Natalie... I wondered, what are your plans for this weekend?"
"Uhm, plans?"Her mind went blank. She was sure she'd made some plans but somehow couldn't remember what they were. Monk gave her a confused look but then spoke again.
"I just thought..." Tugging at his seat belt he hesitated. "I- I know weekends are your free days, but I thought.. maybe if you're not too busy, we could, you know, hang. We're still friends, are we?"
Realizing she had been staring at him with her mouth open she quickly brought her attention back to the traffic and nodded.
"Ah.. sure we are, Mr. Monk! That will never change... Uhm, what are you up to?"
Startled, he began to stammer. "W- what am I up to? N- no, I'm not...I am... I- I thought... we could, just maybe go, you know, out, just hang... out, have some," he swallowed, "...fun."
Looking at Natalie's shocked face he grew anxious. Had he done something wrong? He wasn't sure. Maybe he shouldn't have asked her out, but what should have he said? Ask her to come down and help him reorganise his closet? Or scrub clean his kitchen? Oh god... she knew he wasn't fun. He was never fun. Maybe she didn't even want to spend weekend with him, why would she? And she though he was "up to something".. His face went pale when he realised that Natalie probably thought he had been planning something for the two of them. Unwanted images of what she might have thought he had been thinking about started to pop up in his head. Natalie used to go out with men quite often and he knew what men were after... well, most of them. But not him, he did respect her!
Suddenly, he felt exhausted. Tired of all the thinking he brought his hand up to his face and covered his burning eyes. How would he tell her? How would he explain what exactly was on his mind?
Adrian felt panic creeping into his heart as anxiety tightened his chest. Did she really think he was like the other guys? Especially after what happened then, during their kiss? The problem was that he knew he was just like them. In a way. Since then, he had spent almost every night thinking about her. The way she looked at him, how she smiled, her soft lips on his and her tender but firm touch. He could recall everything to the very last detail. And how kind she was. She was always kind, even when he screwed things up. And every night there was a moment when he reached for the phone to dial her number. He wanted nothing but to hear her voice, even if she would just told him off. But then he placed the phone back onto it's holder. Come on, Monk, it's only a couple of hours to go...
"Mr. Monk? What's wrong? You feeling well? Should I stop for a while?"
"Oh, no, no... no, I'm good. Just tired."
She smiled, obviously relieved. "You'll be home in a few minutes." Instinctively, she patted his knee. "Your bed is waiting." And her hand remained there, her fingers gently stroking and petting his thigh, causing his anxiety to slowly decrease. Though he would be less worried if her both hands were on the wheel, he couldn't help but close his eyes for a while and enjoy the sensation.
Natalie parked in front of Monk's house and he got out using his elbow to open and close the door. Made a few steps and was about to wave Natalie goodnight but then he noticed the windshield wipers were uneven. One of them was slightly crooked. How could have he overlooked that? Pulling his jacket sleeve over his hand he started to poke and push it down. "One second, Natalie, I'll fix this for you... almost done..."
She stared at him, her heart melting. How strange was he sometimes? But she wouldn't change a thing about him. Perfect. That was the right word to describe him. Most of the people who knew him would disagree, some would even laugh, but she couldn't care less. In her opinion, Adrian was just perfect.
She watched him for a bit, then left the car too. Standing at his side, she tilted her head.
"They look much better now, thank you, Mr. Monk."
He nodded and gave her a shy smile. His OCD was quite bad lately but he couldn't help himself. Almost everything bothered him, everything was out of order, driving him insane.
"Ok, Mr. Monk, it's good. They're perfectly even now... It's cold, let's get inside."
"You coming too? I mean... you can i- if you want to."
"I know it's late. I won't be long, I promise, Mr. Monk. Just wan to make sure you're okay. I'll go home as soon as you settle down."
Adrian silently scolded himself. He actually sounded like he didn't want her around. But he did. He did, very much!
Determined not to make any other stupid faux pas that night, he unlocked and opened the door and stepped back, letting Natalie enter the house first.
"Oh thank you." She smiled and so did Adrian. She sounded pleased.
"Oh no.."
"What? What is it, Mr. Monk?" Looking in his direction she discovered the cause of his dismay very soon. There was a plant, a grown ficus in a pot standing near the wall outside Adrian's apartment.
"Oh that's pretty, it seems like your landlord decided to refresh this place."
"Refresh? Natalie, this is a disaster! Look at all the leaves! Just imagine the mess when they start falling! And- and- and what's in that pot? Soil? This is like.. oh my god.. 50 cubic feet of dirt! You know what does that contain? What lives in there? God... he might as well burn this house down..."
"Then why don't you tell him how you feel about it? Don't think about it now, we'll give him a call tomorrow morning, alright? We'll ask him to move it someplace else."
Adrian nodded and let Natalie lead him towards his 2G apartment door. She couldn't help but chuckle. She knew for sure that if he could have arrested, or even better shot that plant, he would have done it.
"Ok, you're home, Mr. Monk. Just relax. Should I run a bath for you?"
"Uhm... a bath would be nice. Although, I thought, would you like some coffee first? I only have decaffeinated coffee... Oh wait, I have some juice! You want some juice?"
"Orange," Natalie smiled and walked into to his living room. What she really needed right now was a glass or two of some fine red wine. She enjoyed wine a little bit too much lately, she thought. Running her fingers through her hair, she brought her attention to Adrian's large shelf where he kept all his LP albums. Charles Aznavour, Willie Nelson, Frank Sinatra, Queen, The Who, Pink Floyd... She hasn't even been through the first half when Adrian appeared next to her, handing her a glass of orange juice, exactly half filled.
"Thank you, Mr. Monk." Taking a sip, she tilted her head towards the shelf. "I wonder, do you ever listen to these? They're great names."
"They were Trudy's," he said, shrugging his shoulders. She had a great taste in music. She used to put one of these on every evening and we danced..."
"You danced?" Natalie's eyes widened over that image. Monk nodded. "I am not a much of a dancer, I kept stepping on her toes all the time..." his voice dropped into a whisper "...and she laughed..."
His eyes welled up with tears when he recalled those times, smiling. Then his look turned serious. They just stood there, staring at each other. Natalie's chest tightened and her breathing become shallower. The look... Then Adrian blinked several times and took a few steps towards the shelf, reaching up and letting his fingertips slide over the paper covers. "... I kept stepping on her toes...and she still wanted to dance with me..."
Natalie watched him take one of the records off the shelf and stare at it like he'd never seen it before.
"This was the last one we danced to. Two days before she was killed."
They just stood there in silence for a while. Adrian's hands were shaking and she knew how painful it must have been for him. Sliding her hand down his back and back up again to comfort him, she got an idea.
Slightly pulling, she took the record from him and walked over to his old fashioned record player, placing the disc on the platter.
Adrian watched her approaching him when the first tones of Leo Sawyer's "Have you ever been in love" filled the room. Like in a dream he could hear her voice as she extended her hand to him. "Dance with me, Mr. Monk."
Taking her small hand in his he wrapped his other arm around her, carefully caressing the small of her back. Suddenly, he found it hard to breathe. He could feel her move to the music, her body warm and soft, so close to him.
"N- N- Na- Natalie... I- I can't dance... It's been so long since I..."
She looked up, her eyes meeting his.
"Just do what I do, Mr. Monk. Don't think. Just listen to the music."
Adrian forced himself to calm down. She was right, he had nothing to worry about. Drawing her free hand up his arm she slid it over his bicep and placed it on his shoulder and he pulled her a little closer, copying her languid movements.
With his eyes closed he rested his cheek against her temple, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair. And he felt, daring to admit, happy. That was just perfect. Their bodies so close, almost pressed together, slowly moving as one, his fingers tenderly stroking her lower back. And there was no fear, no need for distance, no urge to wipe and scrub all the germs off his skin. He smiled when he realized that was exactly how he would wish to spend the rest of his life.
Sooo... Adrian and Natalie found themselves lost in the moment. Who wants to hear more? Hands on the keyboard and let me know! ;)
