Hello lovely people! I'm sorry for the HUGE delay but if anyone's still interested, here's the next chapter! Thank you for your wonderful reviews. You don't know how nervous I was posting the last chapter.
Thank you for correcting my spelling mistakes, even though it was a bit unfair to word your criticism that way.
Keep happy and reviewing!
Much love!
…
When Angel's return home.
I'll apologise forever.
Qui-Gon.
I've had a lifetime to contemplate the decisions I made before the Sith cut me down. Decades that held no real time for me but enabled me to regret and grieve. Too understand I had made desperate mistakes and had never been able to correct them.
Obi-Wan and Anakin.
I should never have pushed one boy away to bring the other close. Obi-Wan had always been mine. My apprentice. My friend. My son. He was the one who stood beside me whenever my world started to shatter. Obi-Wan had trusted me to hold him close, too see his worth and embrace it.
Obi-Wan had expected me to love him like a son.
But all it had taken was one small boy with big dreams to lead me away from him. The destined child the Prophecy whispered about. With my mind filled with promises of hope and balance, I had let Obi-Wan slip away from me, barely noticing he was weeping silently.
The painted devil snatched me away before I really ever understood what I had done. Severed my chance to dry his tears and steer him down the right path.
Obi-Wan never knew how important he was too me. Never imagined I could spend my death wishing I could turn back time and choose him.
Padawan…I'm so sorry….
I awoke to quiet breathing beside me, a gentle pressure against my chest. Battling away the clinging fingers of sleep, I gazed at the auburn hair nestled against me. His hand had curled around my wrist, clutching stubbornly to the fabric of my robes. I swept calloused knuckles over sculptured cheek bones, smiling when he twitched in sleep.
"I have missed you." I murmured.
A part of me prayed for a small sign of his unending affection despite knowing I did not deserve it. But his mind stayed captured by his dreams, he did not acknowledge me. Sighing, I pried unresisting fingers away from my arm and rolled away from him. He stirred briefly, a frown engraving itself on his face before he calmed and sank deeper into sleep. I stood, staring at the boy who had to become a man within a heartbeat. He laid before me in a body that had barely seen its twenty-fifth year but a with a mind older than my own. I couldn't comprehend the thought, unable to see anything but the boy before me. Frowning harshly, I turned and swept away from the room, leaving the door cracked open.
The room still bore the scars of Obi-Wan's frightened anger. I crouched before the shattered mug, cautiously scooping up the shards. Depositing them on the table top, I straightened the heap of Data Pads, stacking them carefully. I set the cutlery back in the draws, wiping smudges away with worn cloths. It was with loving hands that I set the shell back in its place. Captured within the shell was our perfect past. Before I had found Anakin and before I had walked away. Before I had thought to look behind Obi-Wan's glorious faked smiles.
I can't fix the past, Padawan. But I can ensure OUR future stays intact.
I wandered back into the lounge, throwing myself down on the couch with a groan. I picked up a discarded Data Pad, flicking aimlessly through the information. The words didn't make sense to my muddled mind, sentences twisted and danced apart. I let the Data Pad drop from my hands, unconcerned when it bounced against the floor. I leant my head against the couch, waiting for my splintered apprentice to awaken.
I sensed his conflicting emotions before I heard him. When his quiet voice reached me, I had already clambered to my feet. The hands that clutched on my robes were that of a frightened child, I embraced him back fiercely.
"Obi-Wan? What's the matter?" I inquired softly.
"I woke up and you weren't there. I thought I had dreamt it." He spoke in the barest of whispers, but it was a molten knife to my chest.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to alarm you."
"It's all right. My fault. Oversensitive." With a gentle wriggle, he pulled away from me. I stifled a sigh, wishing he could understand that I didn't mind if he cried. Anakin had done this to him. Taught him to purge emotions from him. Grief dug its claws in me when I realised the Jedi Code and my dismissal had only strengthened his views. He swept a curious gaze around the room, there was no anger in endless eyes. Only suspicion and dawning hope. "I didn't get a chance to look at this place properly. Can I look around?"
"This is your home, Obi-Wan. Take your time."
The faint smile sent my own hope beating through me. Perhaps it wasn't too late. There may be a chance for me to save him. I watched him move gracefully around the room, stopping by objects to find a memory. Every so often, a concealed glance was thrown in my direction. There was hesitation in the way he stroked his fingertips over the back of the couch. I smiled in reassurance when I caught his eye again. He bowed his head, embarrassment flashing across his face.
"Are you hungry, Padawan?" I asked.
"We eat?" His eyes were full of guarded hope.
I chuckled. "Yes, we do. We're Immortal, Obi-Wan. If you wanted to, you could bleed."
"What's the point in Immortality then?"
The curiosity on his face was glorious, it was a brief flicker of the apprentice I remembered. The tilt of his head as he struggled for understanding was a living memory. I wished his eyes would reflect his thirst for knowledge again.
"Immortality…Where we are now, it's a higher plane of existence. We have no reason to bleed but that doesn't mean we can't. Understand?"
"Yes, I think I do. You mean that, I won't ever have to fight for my life here but should I do, I still have the ability to bleed? But you said I won't ever become…The boy…"
Anakin, Obi-Wan. His name is Anakin. Please, don't do this to yourself.
"You won't. Darkness can't be put into light. You won't turn because we won't let you."
Obi-Wan's eyebrows knitted together as he thought through my words. Eventually he nodded and glanced toward the kitchen.
"Can we eat now?"
I couldn't help it. I let out a chuckle that morphed into a laugh.
Obi-Wan never smiled.
How do I fix the broken pieces if you won't let me close enough?
…If you lower your shields, Padawan…I can help you…
Let me be your Master again.
Obi-Wan sat in tense silence when I placed a bowl of food in front of him. I retreated to the seat opposite him immediately, wishing I could ignore those wild, distrusting eyes. He snatched the food toward him as soon as I had walked away. There was hunger roaring deep inside him, the food passed his lips in almost a desperate panic.
"Slow down, Padawan. You'll choke." I warned in amusement.
Obi-Wan glanced up, crimson dusting his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm just hungry."
"Eat but don't choke it down. The food isn't going anywhere."
There was something deep and hidden in the eyes that darted away from me. A whisper of concern twisted inside me. There was a story buried inside Obi-Wan, something darker than even I knew. Past the depression and guilt, Obi-Wan hid from me. I stood swiftly, allowing my feet to lead me to his side. He glanced up with questions in his eyes, with secrets in them. I swept my hand across his brow, something churning inside me when he stiffened under my touch.
Anakin…You've done this…Destroyed my Padawan with your lies and betrayal.
…I hope someday…you realise what you've done…And Force, I hope you cry…
But…are you solely to blame?...Did I give you a helping hand in destroying him?...
Obi-Wan's gentle hand on my arm snapped me back to reality, away from blame and anger. There was reassurance on his face but it didn't light up the darkness. With a bare flicker of a smile, Obi-Wan removed his arm and pulled his half eaten food back to him. My heart heavy with distress, I turned around and sank down on the couch.
See ME, Obi-Wan. Not the man who pushed you aside. I've realised my mistakes. I won't leave you behind again.
…
Sorry it's so short.
